Duck's French Onion Soup Monologue
Duck: It was, uh, right around my eighteenth birthday and my, uh, lady friend at the time, Tabitha, brought me up here sort of like a, welcome to adulthood kind of thing. She had a lot of friends that I didn’t really get along with. She was like—she was slummin’ it with Duck, let’s just put it that way. Her dad, he had a lot of money. And I didn’t really get along with her friends too well. They came up here all the time, but this was my first time… coming up here. And I went out on the slopes, and none of them wanted to do the skiing class, because they’d all been coming up here for however long. So I would’ve been the only one, you know, learning how to ski. So they—I just kind of went out with everybody. And, uh… I basically kind of just fell my way down the hill? Like, some of it was on my ass, and none of it was on my feet. I just kind of like tr—trumbled. That’s not a word, but it fits. Ned: It is now. Duck: I trumbled my way down to the bottom of the hill and I—I had never been so cold, and I’d never been so tired—and I right then and there, I took... They were all skiing, having a hell of a time, and I just wandered over here to the Wolf Ember. And uh—I don’t know what prompted me to order French Onion soup? I think they maybe brought it by mistake. But… when I tasted it, I realized I had never eaten French Onion soup. And it was the best thing I’d ever put in my mouth. And I’d spent years, eighteen years, missing out on French Onion soup. Like all the times I could’ve eaten French Onion soup, and I’ve loved the stuff! I had no idea. And that was all I could think about. And… that night was the first time I turned down Minerva. Because all I could think about when she was talking about me putting my life out and risking it all… All I could think about—and I know this is stupid—but all I could think about was all the French Onion soup I’d missed, and if I died, all the French Onion soup that I’d miss out on in the future. I swear to god, but I turned down saving the world to eat French Onion soup.
A gentle reminder from Duck Newton that, sometimes, living for the little things is okay.

















