Gonad Lisa (Alias Dong)

he/they/it

[wreegis]

one fresh Gunpowder Tim, straight from The War™️

[dogpuppy]

[chickenmim]

Dude... allow me to add to your trove.

I have a folder of these on my phone... I'm not sure what that says about me!

[teaboot]

This has always bothered me too and it didn't make sense until someone older told me that when they were growing up "scare quotes" were used the way we used *asterisks* or ALL CAPS for emphasis

[serozvero]

A few training sketches with a dark theme. I'm practicing with charcoal and black graphite pencil.

[great-and-small]

The group chat officially deemed me an “eccentric” just because I’m doing an Argonian ichthyologist play-through of Skyrim rn where my character is writing a thesis on Cyrodilic Spadetails and I shared the character’s hypothetical research folder that I created to help with my immersion in the role.

Like sorry I take the RP in RPG seriously but how else would I get into the headspace of a character who is only slaying dragons to sell their bones and fund research that will hopefully be published in the Tamriel Journal of Limnetic Science??

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[blinketyblank]

Guitar in the car

Lute in the boot

Violin in the bin

[blinketyblank]

Trumpet 🎺? Dump it 🗑️!

[itseasytoremember]

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

everyone jokes about the pope's hat but most people don't know it actually serves an important purpose! evolutionary threat display to assert dominance against rival bishops

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

now you might think THIS is a plummage mating display

but popes are bred to aggressively seek territory and hierarchical power, not potential mates. so anytime you see something like this, it's still very much a standard threat display

[hairbrainedprojects]

Common misconception, but popes are not bred. Rather, like the matriarchy of clownfish, when a pope dies, the strongest of the bishops takes his place

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

actually it's more akin to a hive (with strict gender-based hierarchical work division) where larval bishops are fed queen jelly, prompting their transformation into pseudo-popes, at which point they are left to death battle it out winner takes all

[i-dont-think-thats-true]

I don’t think that’s true

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no it's true i checked

[stev-bird-from-egypt]

I was actually raised catholic so I know this one! The larval bishops when fed queen jelly aren't called pseudo-popes. They're actually called Cardinals, and once the death battle ends, they send up colored smoke as they go into cocoons to finish their transformation into Pope to signal to the hive drone priests that a new Pope has emerged!

[ellensilica]

the amazing differentiating zygote

[saturn-flowr]

slime teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Slimes New Roman

[koboldening]

Robber teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Crimes New Roman

[nugget-gender]

wall teacher: i want this essay in 12 point font Climbs New Roman

[mx-m29]

citrus teacher: i want this essay in 12 point font Limes New Roman

[forgotn1]

poetry teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Rhymes New Roman

[loumner]

horology teacher: i want this essay in 12 point times new roman

[cellaspider]

Mime teacher:

[mildlybizarrecorvid]

herb teacher: i want this essay in 12 point Thymes New Roman

[minervakarsh]

Dirt teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Grimes New Roman

[hyperoperationfractallisation]

Calculus teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Primes New Roman

[skyporf]

aviation teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Flies New Roman

[shreekofjoy]

Finance teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Dimes New Roman

[squizmo333]

History teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Times Old Roman

[the-haiku-bot]

History teacher:

I want this essay in 12

point Times Old Roman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[aster-is-confused]

my favorite genre of bird picture

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sherlock Holmes having a universal ace experience -- expressing disinterest and immediately getting called an inhuman robot.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#images#sherlock holmes#sorry i don't turn rabid and marry the prettiest girl in sight at the push of a button my dear watson

Watson is like "of course I proposed marriage to a girl I met two days ago, I'm normal and make rational decisions"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#I read this part just the other day#He literally proposes within two days it’s crazy

Every Sherlock Holmes remake that tries to make Watson the straight man does him a great injustice. Mfer is a total madlad. Everyone's like "oh he's not addicted to hard drugs and doesn't do chemistry experiments in his bedroom for fun" there are subtler ways to be completely unhinged.

[elf-kid2]

The thing is, Watson may or may not instigate the Situations & Shenanigans, but he voluntarily spends most of his Sherlock Holmes, who DOES!

““Normal”“ people do not do that.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Watson will show up at Holmes' place and be like "are you doing any investigations of super weird shit today" and Holmes will be like "yes I am cornering this dangerous mass murderer, you should come and bring your gun in case anyone tries to shoot us" and Watson will do it without question, thinking "I'm so glad he's got something wholesome to distract himself with so he doesn't take more cocaine".

[itswalky]

[geeoharee]

[spiderweb-wine]

Listen, Holmes takes Watson with him on adventures all the time to save the rest of the world from Watson having free time. He's really very effective at is because when they get back, Watson has to go write it all down. World saved.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sherlock Holmes having a universal ace experience -- expressing disinterest and immediately getting called an inhuman robot.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#images#sherlock holmes#sorry i don't turn rabid and marry the prettiest girl in sight at the push of a button my dear watson

Watson is like "of course I proposed marriage to a girl I met two days ago, I'm normal and make rational decisions"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#I read this part just the other day#He literally proposes within two days it’s crazy

Every Sherlock Holmes remake that tries to make Watson the straight man does him a great injustice. Mfer is a total madlad. Everyone's like "oh he's not addicted to hard drugs and doesn't do chemistry experiments in his bedroom for fun" there are subtler ways to be completely unhinged.

[elf-kid2]

The thing is, Watson may or may not instigate the Situations & Shenanigans, but he voluntarily spends most of his Sherlock Holmes, who DOES!

““Normal”“ people do not do that.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Watson will show up at Holmes' place and be like "are you doing any investigations of super weird shit today" and Holmes will be like "yes I am cornering this dangerous mass murderer, you should come and bring your gun in case anyone tries to shoot us" and Watson will do it without question, thinking "I'm so glad he's got something wholesome to distract himself with so he doesn't take more cocaine".

[itswalky]

[geeoharee]

[spiderweb-wine]

Listen, Holmes takes Watson with him on adventures all the time to save the rest of the world from Watson having free time. He's really very effective at is because when they get back, Watson has to go write it all down. World saved.

[sammypog]

don’t get me wrong i LOVE the centrifugal force scene in the movie, but imo the scene in the book is even better so i’ve compiled a list of moments no one talks about that made me want to explode

grace instinctively grabbing rocky when he sees what happened and burning the palms of his hands on his carapace

grace calling rocky a “crazy bastard” for saving him

grace also burning himself all over his arms while trying to get rocky onto his back to carry him

grace carrying rocky’s body UP A LADDER

grace wondering incredulously why rocky would risk his life to save him, about 2.5 seconds before grace risks his own life to put rocky back in his atmosphere

grace taking off his IV and oxygen mask as soon as he regains consciousness to be able to sit as close to rocky as possible

grace pressing his hand to the wall that rocky’s body is leaning against and then pulling it away because it “feels too melodramatic”

grace checking on rocky about 100 times

“I want to sleep, but Rocky is more important”

grace DIYing a leafblower to try to help rocky heal

grace falling off his bunk and CRAWLING to rocky when he realizes he’s awake

[catchymemes]

[ex0skeletal-undead]

Not sure how this works when shark skin is so incredibly smooth

[soup-mother]

Imagine there's this girl you like, and your relationship is kinda funny because you're not dating or anything but it's gotten to the point where she's telling you she really wants to have a bath with you. And obviously you're interested in this, so you say yes. And she tells you that she wants to make it really unforgettable and brings over like a lavender bathbomb and candles and some flowers and classical music. And you're laying there in the bath with cucumbers over your eyes or something, swaying in the richly scented water as the candlelight casts shadows throughout the room. She wants to make this special for you. she wants you to relax. Unbeknownst to you, beneath the water, hidden by the low light, music, murky purple water and flower petals, this girl is using an old fashioned manual hand drill to put a hole in your bathtub into the hollow cavity between the walls for reasons not immediately clear to anyone.