I am a human shitpost

Disaster by day, actual disaster by night

[machine-saint]

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

[madnessofmen]

wait it gets better

[mytearsrricochet]

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

[dogpuppy]

[segamascott]

[icantspellthings]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[pitchburgh]

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

[pitchburgh]

you should also be able to do this to job listings

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[loveridden1999]

i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him

[labcorp]

[aokozaki]

"Rationalism" is up there with "Objectivism" in terms of "definitionally funny things to call your own belief system".

[aokozaki]

"Yeah man I've been doing some thinking and philosophy and I've come up with a framework called Being Right"

[charlesoberonn]

Check out my new philosophy called Correctism. It includes all of the correct and true ideas and rejects the wrong ones.

[capacity2]

It’s actually crazy how bad feeling bad feels

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[punkrock-bottom]

If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[loveridden1999]

i want to be free

[seaemberthesecond]

Unfortunately, a lot of people's idea of feminism does not hinge on women are autonomous beings who deserve equal rights and opportunities, but instead on women are beautiful and precious objects that should be treated well which is not actually the same thing. At all.

[afriendofblahaj]

The same thing goes for people's idea of protecting children, where instead of viewing children as autonomous beings who deserve equal rights, respect, and opportunities, they view them as property to protect from outside damage or influence so they will grow up to be the perfect version their parents wants them to be. Which is also very much not the same thing. Every time someone cries protect the children, it's about protecting the parents property from outside harm, not protecting the child's emotions and wellbeing.