Post-Apocalyptic Parenting

If you look hard enough you will find so many insanely dogshit takes from me.

[cerastes]

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

[cerastes]

This sux00rz…

[grapnel]

An example of why one should use the Oxford comma.

[sepdet]

LOL. I think they tried to fix it.

Nice try. Still no.

[liberalsarecool]

Stay engaged.

[centrally-unplanned]

Must be pretty insulting to know that your boss and all of his inner circle do exactly the same thing you did, and even brag about it to the media, but you get suspended for it because You Are Not Important Enough. Real "high school lunch table bullying" moment - most adults don't get told right to their faces that they just aren't one of the cool kids.

[argumate]

only cabinet members are allowed to grift, not "teleprompter operators" (!) or Navy SEALs (or Navy pinnipeds) 😤

[argumate]

Relatives of the ICE officer who shot a Colombian man in Maine this week told The Associated Press he struggled with serious mental health issues since early childhood and never should have been given a badge and gun to patrol American streets.

good to know

[cargopantsman]

[thec0ub]

Do y'all ever use/hear the word wicked used? Kinda as a synonym of sick/cool/awesome?

I've heard it's regional to my area, but I have trouble believing other people don't say that.

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[postapocalypticparenting]

I was not aware of that! That’s awesome!

[tumblr]

cleated rivalry ⚽️🏆🔥

[postapocalypticparenting]

Monty Python says hello

[birdsareblooming]

what nolan is proving this that his odyssey movie isn't for anyone. it's not even for nobody

[postapocalypticparenting]

[blackshvck]

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

[jerico3193]

[frizz01percy]

this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies

[xan-thos-blog]

We need to reblog this so much that the post breaks

[bittymoonbear-deactivated201807]

Do not like

[secret-unicorn-sierra-blog]

Keep. Reblogging.

[dawn-machine-official]

If we reblog enough we could save it

[vwidjojo]

Reblogged at 1.7 M notes

[weirdo09]

reblogged at 1.8M notes

[earhartsease]

how did this lose over 5k notes

[cybermax]

I’m glad we cost Yahoo 2 billion dollars.

[cybernetic-divinity-deactivated]

it’s like a perfectly preserved body at Pompei

[jjsbizarreadveyj]

Finding this on my normal dash is like taking a stroll through the Park and suddently stumbeling upon the Codex Hammurabi just lying there.

[regalun-street]

Real.

[depsidase]

[theonion]

What To Know About Cyclosporiasis

Cases of cyclosporiasis, a parasitic infection that can cause “explosive diarrhea,” have been reported in at least 34 states. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness.

[a-book-of-creatures]

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

[mysharona1987]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

There should be a button on the "previous order" page of online websites that tells you how much you've given that shop over your lifetime so that you can stare at the number and feel like shit. This would not improve shopping or help them make money, but nevertheless. I am so curious.

[dea-certe]

Meanwhile, my library does this

[postapocalypticparenting]

holy shit that’s great

wait what about adding those up across patrons for a total savings. I bet “the pantsburg public library saved our community eleventy jillion dollars last year” would be an effective argument against the so called fiscal conservatives who want to use their budget to fund a second SWAT team.

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[justgarb]

the number of times i had to cut looped and twisted hair from the tiny discolored fingers of an inconsolable baby are lost to me. handsies and feetsies inspector dada.

experiential archaeology win

[a-book-of-creatures]

How have I not discovered Wilson Bryan Key before

[a-book-of-creatures]

"Bestiality may be illegal throughout most of the world, but, at the symbolic level, it appears to have sold a lot of Sprite."

?????????

[a-book-of-creatures]

I get it, I hate ads too and I want them dead, but this book is reaching harder than a Lamarckian giraffe to make its points.

[a-book-of-creatures]

"Ice cubes likely sell more alcohol for the distilling industry than attractive models in cheesecake poses."

I mean, the prospect of a cool beverage is -

"... Thinking in terms of male and female, which of the two Cinzano ice cubes would be female? ... Now ask, what is going on between this female and male set of ice cubes?"

?????????

"... much credit must be given to the American advertising industry for its success in creating a sexual affair between two pieces of ice as a subliminal device with which to merchandise a liqueur."

?????????????????????????????

[a-book-of-creatures]

Are you being sexually aroused by this picture?

[uncivilliberties]

You can't take the piss out of this guy and then post the world's most fuckable ice cubes like that. You didn't even tag NSFW.

[a-book-of-creatures]

I didn't even share the Sprite ad u_u

This is the Sprite ad:

Do you see the subliminal seduction? Do you see it?

Relax again and look deeply into the almost hypnotic organization of bubbles surrounding the lime slice. Something rather strange is going on in the bubbles. The ear, an orifice of the human body, suggests that the effervescence rising from the glass may have aphrodisiac qualities, at least at the symbolic level, especially with the two-balled earring with one ball hanging lower than the other. Something highly symbolic is, indeed, going on in the bubbles above the lime slice. Before reading further, try to psych out the ice cubes in the glass. What is Sprite trying to tell you? The right side of the ice cube above the lime slice forms the back of an animal—a large shaggy dog with a pointed nose, or quite possibly a polar bear. The animal’s legs are extended outward to the left, parallel with the top of the lime. The animal’s arms (or legs, as you will) appear to be holding another figure which is human with long, feminine hair. Her face is located just above the animal’s head. The two figures, animal and human, are in what can only be described as a sexual intercourse position. The polar bear, dog, or whatever, is in sexual embrace with a nude woman.

???????????????????????????????

[triflesandparsnips]

[afghanhound4755]

Are subliminal messages secretly embedded in advertisements?