tater - they/xe/he/it/she - tme
send me a classpect and I'll make a blinkie for you :)
I will also make other types of blinkies by request
herlock sholmes the blorbo of all time. also mettaton. and susato of course
insane about davejade forever
sometimes I draw fanart on my art blog
send me asks and messages ^-^
mutuals you can ask for my discord
secret second bio. the better one
third bio (plural version)
the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death
I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.
The whole plural transfem alter thing is a direct result of the extremely widespread transmisogyny in plural spaces.
When I go to an explicitly plural space, there are almost no transfems, but when I go to a transfem space unrelated to plurality, I find us everywhere. I wonder why that is.
it's really funny teaching rhetoric to college freshmen because i explained ad hominem to them via example by arguing with a student over something silly (i kept insisting 25 minutes was a quarter of an hour, not 15) and then "insulted" her instead of addressing her argument (i said she doesn't have a college degree whereas i have two, so of course she'd be wrong - which the whole point is that it's a stupid insult but not something that's actually mean) but she got soooooo mad so even when i stopped the exercise and explained that she was indeed correct (15 minutes is a quarter of an hour). like she was still fuming. so i validated her feelings on that, complimented her, and even reminded the class that a college degree doesn't mean that a person is smart/right. and then i went on to explain that, yeah, dirty arguing techniques like that are meant to make you so unreasonably angry that you can't respond or that you lose your cool, so your opponent looks like they win by default. the student i was arguing with then just said that it seemed like professional ragebaiting and i was like. well yeah that's correct.
and then this kid, this one kid who is always very eager to answer questions and is always kind to his classmates, raised his hand looking a little bothered. now for context, i emphasize thinking for yourself in my classroom, even if that means disagreeing with something i say and he has echoed some stuff that his parents clearly have told him before. he's not a bad kid or an asshole, he's just an 18 year old with conservative parents who otherwise knows nothing about politics. but he just looks so bothered after i explain this about dirty arguing techniques. big frown on his face. looking unsure. when i nod at him to speak, he says, in a very quiet voice, "didn't -- didn't charlie kirk used to do that?"
and i was like. well yes. yes he was famous for stuff like this.
and then the kid looked down and was just like, "oh. i thought he was just really good at debating. i never watched his videos though, only clips. why would he do that?"
and that coincidentally lined up perfectly with the rest of the lesson, which was on propaganda
It's not perfect- Strawpage's design tools are... not great- but I did my best to bring you all a Tumblr-free transcription of all my lessons. This is probably the most labor-intensive thing I've done for this page (next to the character polls). Four months of blood, sweat, and tears... and now, she LIVES!!!!
Some Notes:
I created it with the intent of Desktop use, so Mobile might have some issues. If it's not working on your phone, try desktop.
Out of the multiple browsers tested (Firefox, Google, Edge, Brave, Safari), Firefox had some issues sporadically.
I'm still going to post lessons on here, first. This page is priority to me, and the website is more of an archive.
The fonts are normal past this opening page.
I will be adding a portion to send funds soon, if'n you are feeling kind and generous.
Thank you all for your patience while I worked on this. It was a labor of love and I hope that it shows. šš¾ Happy scrolling!
unfortunate truth of reality is that oftentimes 15 year olds will say/do/believe some stupid bullshit because they are 15 but telling them that they believe that because they are 15 is probably the most counterproductive thing in the entire universe
Iāve been thinking about monika ddlc so much lately that I forgot that the personal horror she goes through is. not actually. the central part of the gameās psychological horror
her perspective is just so much more compelling tbh. like the horror of ddlc, beyond the actual deaths, is just ooooooooooh what if there was something uncanny and broken within the game. and out of the women you see as objects to pursue, the one youāre not interested in is Actually secretly pulling the strings behind everything.
meanwhile from monikaās perspective you have like. what if some violent intrusion into your mind made you hyper-aware that your world is a dating sim, where the only girls who have a future are the ones who end up with the man the story revolves around. and You were never meant to have any future at all. like thatās just so much more of a viscerally real horror (the patriarchy). with an added scoop of ānothing is realā cosmic horror
anyway. thoughts about monika have been rotating around in my head but until now itās just been filed under āwell thatād be interesting but idk if thereās enough evidence to support analyzing her as a queer woman in the first placeā
well. itās monika essay time. disclaimer it has been a few years since I watched a playthrough of ddlc
part 1: gender and heterosexual destiny
in a dating sim, the only girls with endings are those who are chosen by the leading man. this is a fact that torments monika, and she makes this feeling of terror at being cast out into nothingness very clear. this is the fear that drives her to manipulate the game the way she does, to force this world to give her an ending. if the world says a girl's purpose is to be romantically desirable to a man, what happens to a girl for whom that isn't an option?
monika's poems throughout act 1 follow her realization. and the truth is, she isn't romantically interested in the player. at least, not at first. in her first poem she personifies the knowledge of her reality with imagery of an abusive boyfriend. a hole punched in the wall. the continuation of this poem in act 2 makes it even more clear she's afraid of the player. because his choices are what determine the route the world takes. everything depends on whether he finds you desirable
her third poem is about the future she had hoped for. she personifies this as a beautiful lady who she aspires both to meet and to be. a lady who is independent and not defined by her relationship to a man. but now that patriarchal reality has made itself clear, this future is revealed to be meaningless. it is not possible for a woman to have her own future. every attempt to do so will never amount to anything. what happens to a girl who cannot fit into a heterosexual destiny? there is no place for her.
part 2: monika as a queer woman
of course, none of this absolutely definitively says monika is queer. this all just describes the horror of being a woman in a world that expects women to be romantic objects for men. but also. the reason she doesn't have a route isn't just that the player didn't choose her. there's something about her that categorically cast her out from the only role the other girls are given. partnership with a man just isn't an option for her. and contrasting those two poems, the future she idealizes is personified as a beautiful lady she searches for, while patriarchy's violent intrusion into her mind is personified as "an angry boyfriend".
therefore. lesbian monika. or transfem monika -- the game (society) doesn't see her as a "Real Woman" and so it denies her even the limited role it shoves the other girls into, instead designating monika as an outcast without any future. and like. she literally had to write her own ending into a world that still refuses to give her one and marked her as different from the rest of the girls.
part 3: what about act 3?
okay. now it's time for the thought that's been microwaving in my head. how does monika make peace with her new reality in act 3, where she only exists trapped in this relationship with a man with the power to erase her? how does she go from writing "The Lady who Knows Everything" to saying things like "There's something kind of enticing about being the stay-at-home partner."?
what if she edited her own file? tried to make herself more desirable in the hope that the game would allow her a future?
at the end of her third poem, with the knowledge that she has no ending, the beautiful lady sends monika in a different direction. leaving behind the representation of who she wants to be. she is given a new goal, of writing herself into someone who could be chosen in this game. she resigns herself to accepting patriarchy's cruel bargain: push down every other girl you can and maybe you'll be rewarded with a precarious position higher up.
I recently watched a playthrough of Understanding, and when Monika did her "looking to her left" sprite in the corridor, it struck me how incredibly autistic both people in this conversation were. So I made this about it. If you've never considered the potential neurodivergence of the Dokis before, I hope you find this informative.
