Sam/Cornflakes/Bee

confused adult ✨ writing is my coping mechanism ✨ side blog @cornflakesneedscomfort

[potatocornflakes]

Today someone asked me how long me and my friend are together.

She is straight and engaged to a men o believe is toxic

So yeah Iobe my friend's they deserve the world.

[rotary-supercollider]

Story where two guys are in a timeloop but one of them has to get a root canal tomorrow and he’s really not looking forward to it so he tries to stop the loop from ending by making sure the other guy never learns his lesson

[dicaeopolis]

astronomy club sent up a weather balloon w a gopro in it last friday. put in three packs of fruit snacks so they could have a giggle over eating fruit snacks that had been to space.

balloon went up into inner space, about 90,000 feet. came down right near the dinosaur park. a few physics teachers drive out to get it, crack it open on the way home to start watching the footage.

fruit snacks are missing.

multiple sources confirm that fruit snacks were put in balloon and sealed in with duct tape. physics teachers check entire balloon. no fruit snacks.

physics teachers watch footage. all 7 hours of it. right in the middle of footage, there are about 8 minutes of visual and audio static when balloon is in orbit. no other interference with balloon recorded.

conclusions: ???????

[spaceyalien]

aliens stole yo fruit snacks

[daisenseiben]

I’ve been a UFO enthusiast for 2/3rds of my life and this is the most convincing alien encounters story I have ever heard.

[should-be-sleeping]

[dicaeopolis]

Happy just-over-ten-years to this post. Early in its life, it was viewed by a seventeen-year-old aspiring astronomer who DESPISED it, thought it was the dumbest Space Post ever, got mad every time it crossed her dash. But this wasn’t anybody I knew, and she did the mature thing and didn’t send any hate mail about it, and went off and got her whole entire astrophysics degree without me ever finding out. So how do I know about this person’s deep dislike for this post? BECAUSE. I have, at press time, been sleeping next to her for three and a half years

[kingcatnine]

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok

[sistersorrow]

Broke: vampires are real, and they act just like in the stories

Woke: vampires are real, but the stories are inaccurate

Bespoke: vampires are real, the stories are inaccurate, and vampires made up those stories to keep humans ignorant

Baroque: vampires are real, and the stories are inaccurate, but vampires reacted to things like Dracula and Masquerade the same way the mafia reacted to The Godfather and now actively try to play out the tropes

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

[hidefdoritos]

engaging in a high risk behavior (lying back down after my alarm already went off)

[minovskyy]

i love this website i just feel at home here you know

[sortingmyideas]

Male character: I'm not attracted to women.

Fandom: Oh, he's gay.

Female character: I'm not attracted to men.

Fandom: Oh, she's a lesbian.

Any character: I'm not attracted to anybody.

Fandom: Well, we don't know that they're ace/aro/aroace. It's open for interpretation. They're not canonically ace/aro/aroace unless they specifically say they are.

Hmmmm. I wonder why we're so frustrated in fandom spaces. I wonder if there's a reason.

[ruinedchildhood]

[i-am-a-fish]

I hope you get 100 dollars. I want everyone reading this to get 100 dollars

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

[birdsareblooming]

it's been like 2 years. i havent touched it. never needed to. "you don't really have a choice," are you so swift to forget the recent past? Bitch i still use itunes to download mp3s to so i have them forever and any song i want, then my sister burns them to CDs. When boycotts rolled out my other sister got no thanks to scan what products we shouldn't buy. i still use corded headphones not because "its older" but because it's easier. a fool criticizes those who buy candles 200 years after the invention of the electric light until the power goes out. become ungovernable. you are not immune to propaganda. you've never had Chatgpt forced upon you, the only thing forced upon you is the idea that Chatgpt is forced upon you. why claim you need something today that you didn't need yesterday. little bitch.

[teophan]

[whoznoah]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[pseudophan]

when your stomach is really mad at you and you're not sure which one of your fourteen unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it

[valicelavidad]

somehow my app bugged and cut the last nine words off so I thought op was a cow or something

[pseudophan]

[sailermoon]

huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

[nitewrighter]

I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.

[rhynee]

people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task

but i cant fucking do the task