i’m the diversity hire, bryson.

jess 23 || my emoji is the smiling pile of shit pronoun machine broke

[kristenbouchard]

sometimes you have to pretend your kitchen is a club dance floor and get a little whorish while cooking your frozen pizza. it’s called living deliciously in a pandemic

[teaboot]

It is simply not fulfilling to enjoy media in the height of its popularity. You need to show up so late to the party that everybody else is gone and the hosts are asleep so you can rummage through their trash for chip dip and stale hors d’oeurves to eat alone in the dark like a dirty little raccoon secret

[werewolveswithagenda]

I think Tumblr will love this

[i-am-shitpost]

For the love of GOD turn the volume on

[the-real-seebs]

every day someone thinks of an art form no one did before

[spiribia]

I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon

[icarusdiesatdawn]

I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

[eyewishing]

does anyone have more examples of posts like this where theyre suggesting new features that would make this site more like a funhouse/mirror maze

[zenwannabe]

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

[dabblingindissent]

this is literally all society needs to be

[tourdion]

say what you will about the reserve bank of india these are some cracking coins

[theradicalkanji]

[cuntubus]

[carebewear]

I do often think about how the origin of “he would not fucking say that” was in reference to a post which depicted Cartman SouthPark responding politely when asked for his pronouns

[schistcity]

meme phrases are so mobile and versatile and that's really really beautiful but i'm always thinking about the first "she x on my y til i z" being "she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge" and the first "fork found in kitchen" coming from a tweet about sehun from exo being spotted at a gay bar. like sometimes you just utterly nail it the very first time and no variation of the joke is going to be better.

[schistcity]

EXACTLY.

[schistcity]

a small collection

[redpandarascal]

no version of this joke will ever be funnier than the original

[ghostoflunarviolet]

i need to start woodworking, i need to start doing stained glass, i need to start doing mosaics, i need to learn to knit, i need to learn how to carve marble, i need to pick up crocheting, i need to learn sailing, i need to buy a kiln, i need to make crepe paper flowers, i need to learn jewellery making, i need to

[super-lazer-piss]

When you're driving home at night and you meet a Ford F-150 on the road

[phantomrose96]

That thing where milkmaids were often immunized against small pox because they'd already contracted the weaker cow pox earlier in their lives. That's Tumblr, to me, against whatever the hell social media landscape is happening in 2026.

[phantomrose96]

"TikTok Instagram Youtube-Shorts Share-Your-Whole-Life Influencer Social-Media Online Online Online" it cannot affect me. I was already a weird online 16-year-old all so many years ago. You cannot grab me raw and unfortified with these poisons. I inoculated myself when glomping was a thing. I am still on Tumblr making text poasts.

[thedisasterbi]

happy valentines day

[sayitasyoucan]

My Valentine Cards

[cursmudgeon]

Maybe being good at social media should not be the main qualifier for all creative work

[cursmudgeon]

Seeing the notes on this talk about all the other careers that I hadn't even considered being affected by this is just depressing. What do you mean you need to be Instagram famous to have a career as a hairdresser?

[sadhoc]

listen: cheating at baseball is like a whole second sport. as long as baseball has existed, people have been cheating at it

[sadhoc]

look at this shit.

[lilaccatholic]

Look I've BEEN all cozy and wearing sweaters and drinking tea like a mouse in a British children's novel all winter but I need chips and salsa and a margarita on a patio NOW

[staff]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits