prailock's fanfic writing blog

I wrote that Canada Dry ad https://archiveofourown.org/users/prailock/profile

[prailock]

Ilya is doing his normal ragebaiting of his husband after a close loss. Everyone knows Shane is Not In The Mood for teasing after a loss, even if it isn't his fault. But Ilya apparently isn't getting the message from Shane's cold shoulder.

The Centaurs start getting concerned when Ilya starts telling a story about a time that Boston absolutely destroyed Montreal back when they were on opposing teams. They can all see Shane's rising fury and the tension is building.

"Ilya, shut up," Shane finally breaks.

"I don't think that is what you would like," Ilya replies, a challenging smirk and raise of an eyebrow at him.

"Fuck off!" he yells loud enough to carry through to the showers even. A few of the team flinches at the harshness. He's even flipping him off.

Bood realizes that now might be the time to step on as the A but--wait a second. Hollzy's not flipping him off when this middle finger.

It's his fucking ring finger.

And Roz looks like he wants to drop to his knees.

Oh my God, is anything not foreplay to these goddamn freaks?

[prailock]

At Shane and Ilya's wedding Ilya took the mic and out of nowhere started giving a genuinely heartfelt speech about how Scott Hunter's brave decision to come out after winning the Cup transformed his life and made this all possible. It's so out of character and kind that it visibly moves Kip to tears and Scott isn't far behind.

He ends it with "As a thank you we dedicate this next song to you, Hunter."

And then he starts blasting "Dinosaur" by Ke$ha

Scott has to remind himself it's rude to murder the groom at a wedding.

[prailock]

The Centaurs had to ban "WHERE IS MY HUSBAND!" by Raye from being played anywhere at the rink or practice facility because Ilya started playing it every time Shane so much as went to the bathroom without him

[aaliyahsparrow]

"It followed me home", Ilya Rozanov [Connor Storrie] and a "friend", based on this post of Erling Haaland returning home

I saw someone @brokenberries post this with an art request, so I saved the screenshot, and now I cannot for the life of me find it again. If/when I do, I'll link it in. Whoever you are, please feel free to request stuff like this more often because it is GENIUS!

Photoshopped image (images sourced from instagram, and google), watercolour texture from stock image databases, overlines by computer program and me (I was not going to try to do the raccoon by hand, I'd still be there in six hours). This is not AI.

July 2026

Please do not repost my images to other sites without permission

[scunthotter]

Like don't get me wrong, Ilya is uncomfortably aware of the consequences if his whole bisexual thing gets out. But you can't tell me that sometimes he's just dying to tell Marleau about the fact that he pulled Shane Hollander, that he's actively pulling Hollander every time they play Montreal. He got hockey's 11/10 and he can't even tell anyone.

[prailock]

Ilya's real trauma is not the implied child abuse, drug addict family members, watching loved ones slop away from mental health or disease. It's that he's managed to pull the ultimate whore bragging rights and he can't say a fucking word. Truly God's strongest slut.

[scunthotter]

Like don't get me wrong, Ilya is uncomfortably aware of the consequences if his whole bisexual thing gets out. But you can't tell me that sometimes he's just dying to tell Marleau about the fact that he pulled Shane Hollander, that he's actively pulling Hollander every time they play Montreal. He got hockey's 11/10 and he can't even tell anyone.

[prailock]

Ilya's real trauma is not the implied child abuse, drug addict family members, watching loved ones slop away from mental health or disease. It's that he's managed to pull the ultimate whore bragging rights and he can't say a fucking word. Truly God's strongest slut.

[ilyapasta]

So I think the way you know you suck at hockey (at the professional level, I know no one in the NHL actually sucks) is if you’re playing poorly and Shane Hollander is still nice to you. “You you did good out there, man. No sweat.” He’s mean to the players who have potential (“What the FUCK were you thinking Haas?”), or the really good players fucking up on bad nights. He doesn’t even talk to his husband out at Monks after Rozanov missed his pass on the power play (“I set it up perfectly for you, Ilya, if you’d just admit it then maybe I could help you fix it for next time—“) but he’s asking you about the kids and where you go for Christmas. You’re never getting off the fourth line bud. Actually, Hollander just bought you a beer, which means you’ll be back in the minors next week.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

they’re doing one of those fun videos interviews with the communications intern. the guys walking through the tunnel before hitting the ice and drawing question from a cup the intern is holding. shane picks one and reads it out loud “if you could spend a day with anyone in the world, who would it be?” and he doesn’t even hesitate “i already do that” and the intern is like “wait what do you mean?” and shane gestures vaguely in ilya’s direction and ilya that was right behind him with troy and others centaurs, just open the biggest grin on his face and all the guys start groaning and booing cus they’re disgustingly in love and can never be normal about each other

[military-newsboys]

Yuna: Congratulations. The two of you have just won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics.

Shane:

Ilya:

Shane: Who won gold?

[bluegiragi]

lazy mornings.

nsfw addition on patreon

[prailock]

Sorry about those rolling blackouts killing your grandparents from heatstroke but you have to understand, the most annoying person you've ever met needed to know what a computer approximates to be "lickable toes". So at least they didn't die for nothing.

[melobluelights]

Troy: Hey Harris, I know I’ve been spending a lot of time with you recently and I get you a latte that you like and we laugh a lot together and i feel better when I’m around you, I was just casually wondering what it’s like for you to be openly gay around the Centars? Hypothetically, if someone were to come out to the team, would they be accepted? And totally unrelated but do you have a boyfriend? Oh you don’t? Well you should have a boyfriend because you’re so sweet and cute. Are you dating right now and open to finding someone? Okay you are, great to know.

Harris: I’m not sure why you’re asking me all this but I’ll answer because I love to yap and you’re cute :)

Harris: Now that you asked me about my dating life, tell me a bit about yours?

Troy: I need to leave before I vomit🧍‍♂️

[flyora]

Ottawa Centaurs family ❤️ (Dykstra might finally turning good song offstage, sorry)

[jenneferofjengaberg]

Also, every time Troy and Harris have an interaction where the team could conceivably see them, I just know Ilya is somewhere in the background like, "well well well, what do we have here" with a giant shit eating grin on his face. It's funny, but it's kinda killing the romance for me.

[prailock]

Shane did a ton of research before Ilya came to the cottage the first time and stumbled on the fact that Russians often drink their tea with jam. He bought so many options because he wasn't sure what Ilya would prefer and wanted everything to be perfect.

Years into their marriage they still have jars and jars of little artisanal jams because Ilya drinks coffee after living in the land of Dunkin for too long.

Anytime Ilya reaches into the recesses of the pantry and finds another one, his heart melts again like it's the first time.

[melobluelights]

Reading Troy’s inner monologue in Role Model feels like reading the inner thoughts of a feral cat who is trying to be domesticated. He doesn’t know how to socialize, he has to remind himself not to be an asshole, he prefers to be on his own, and he fucking loves salmon.

[prailock]

He's always coincidentally in the same room as his favorite person but it's not because he's already in love or anything

[marz-rm]

late as always but happy pride! Pretty sure I fucked up Ilya's face, I'll fix it before I print this