I6teenpsyche @pramerikanfootball - Tumblr Blog

#periphery #or #peri peri #perimeter #peripheral #lol #in honour of all hues violet and and edges radial #haha #you can say #im a djentleman #djent #prog #Spotify

ptv circles plays in my ear drums and i feel the achy-est sinusoidal wave of neon-refracted violet break through me

#you took my hand and

strange, you never knew

its only smiles- acoustic

the first thing i want to put on a text msg is that im not a fan of the processed vocals, and that the guitar is devastatingly beautiful. i always figured it was the context and the words and the volume and the staircases but its quite literally the melody- it gives me a terrible stomach ache and i feel the tender splitting of a muscle

another thing:

i adore green houses to pieces. by now you know what i mean by that. vines brushing against my face, all while frosted windows enclose me and it's all just so warm and so green

nothing hetero romantic will even remotely ever beat the reverence with which i look at a woman who's sat in the eye of the storm that is womanhood, legs bent to pounce, with her instrument of choice [+ grit] just spitting out narrow-eyed, spite-bitten rebuttals

#when the pawn #fiona apple #florence + the machine #chelsea wolfe #kiki rockwell #emma ruth rundle #courtney love #bikini kill

#like #fiona apple #you feel me

so gimme mine back and go there for all i care

how like you, piranesi

truly no kinds of rock bottoms and miserable basements can maul me to death any worse than fiona apple does

#oh well #when the pawn #yk what they say #fiona apple

i wana take her home and try on her clothes

#bikini kill

sitting-in-the-front-row-when-the-lights-are-

yellow-and-the-band-plays-kilby-girl-induced nausea

#it was a trash performance but my friends were playing so it was also endearing #what you learn here is #fuck that guitar

#YUM #nge #pink floyd #ramiel

and here's the thing about running away from home:

the sharp bite of any life at all always flails under fear. which is to say, i didn't even try.

secondly im tired of physical hurt. im tired of abuse and my freeze response. im tired of having run out of outlets for my anger. running is so odd, it seems to erase entire chunks of my cognition and it thrusts them back at me the moment i stop so I don't know if it works.

the razor blade ordeal seemed to help till it didn't and even then its not true, pure assistance, never

someone tells me my body is still my own but both of us live through nights where it gets terribly hard to feel welcome inside this hollow feeling bag of sinew

being back in my college dorm wouldn't do shit I suppose. ill stare at a bluer ceiling and there'll be friendly silence, friendly till it isn't.

im very afraid of having hard conversations in cars because i always spit out more venom than i intend to, i also think id be mildly intrigued if i could dismiss my utter violence towards myself as the work of prions but in all honesty the book i was writing will never come to be, birthdays have always been the worst days of the years because of all that happens on the third of a month and i can be bleeding in 2 different places with my head ringing but I will be looked at straight in the face and be told that this is normal. glass is supposed to cut you when you're 7, more so when you're 20.

#i hate this app to pieces now and i also hate everything about what i write on here but its the only place typing seems to work for me