Assorted Incorrect Quotes

Incorrect quotes from multiple different fandoms. Adding to queue when inspiration comes. Header is just a bunch of stuff I like which has a high chance of being featured.

[malwarewolf404]

Human Marine, injured: D-do you -aghk!- Do you have a tourniquet?

Swords of Sangheilios Warrior, trying hard to remember his interspecies briefing: H-have you tried… not getting hit?

[prankdoesincorrectquotes]

you know this is what they said behind the scenes of Halo 3

Rtas, with Shadow of Intent stationed above Earth: This is fucking terrible.

Thel: It's the opportunity of a lifetime to be here.

[prankdoesincorrectquotes]

the sequel

Tul, during Empty Throne, when she and Rtas have to meet with humans in their base: This is fucking terrible.

Rtas: It’s the opportunity of a lifetime to be here.

[prankdoesincorrectquotes]

Acnologia @ God Serena: If you wish to defeat me, train for another 100 years

[gamelpar]

thel vadam: Remember to drink water.

john-117: No.

thel vadam: Then become the dirt I walk on.

johnson: Every argument you two have hits me hard because Arbiter always swings back with a new type of bat and I’m never prepared for it.

[prankdoesincorrectquotes]

Veldora, reading a question sent to him: "Does Veldora Tempest like anime?"

Veldora: Yes I do!

Veldora: Hentai too.

[gamelpar]

Prophets: These human 'Demons' are very aggressive so it's important to take all necessary precautions when approaching.

Thel 'Vadam in the backround: [blowing an air horn at John-117] GET FUCKED

[gamelpar]

[the Flood is surrounding them]

Thel 'Vadam: How are we gonna get out of this?

John-117: By the skin of our teeth.

Thel 'Vadam: I didn't know human teeth had skin.

[gamelpar]

Thel 'Vadam: Hello? Greetings. Excuse me---Why is everyone ignoring me, Sergeant Johnson?

Johnson: Because you’re carrying fourteen energy swords, Arbiter.

Thel 'Vadam: I’m making myself as friendly and warm as possible.

Johnson: Arbiter. Again: Fourteen energy swords.

[gamelpar]

Flipyap: I diagnose you with let-mah.

The Covenant: Let-mah?

Flipyap: LET MAH PEOPLE GO

[incorrect-corpse-party-quotes]

Sachiko: Hey, I get it. You're stressed out. A few people died--

Ayumi: THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!

Sachiko: Not the point. Look, they're dead now. And really, whose fault is that?

Ayumi: YOURS!

Sachiko: That's right. No one's.

[incorrect-corpse-party-quotes]

Sachiko: Pull the lever, Yoshikazu.

Yoshikazu: *pulls lever*

Sachiko: *falling down trap door* WRONG LEVEEEEERRRRRRR!!!

*a short time later*

Sachiko: Why do we even HAVE that lever?!

[gamelpar]

Rtas 'Vadum: I thought humans were more evolved than this...

Lord Hood: Excuse me, did we come to your planets and blow shit up?

[gamelpar]

Rtas 'Vadum: Aggressive hand-holding.

Thel 'Vadam: How does it work?

Rtas 'Vadum: We arm wrestle as an excuse to hold hands.

[prankdoesincorrectquotes]

Imagine Oscar and Salem singing this duet:

https://youtu.be/Kvj4maFyQcs

Maybe Salem is addressing Oscar as Ozpin, or Ozpin is genuinely possessing Oscar to sing to her. Either way, it fits surprising well.

[sihakadan]

Javik: You primitives, in my cycle-

The Normandy crew: ok boomer

[rwbybutincorrect]

Sun: BISEXUALS ARE NOT CONFUSED

Blake: Actually I am. I don’t know how to do taxes or how an engine works

Sun: BISEXUALS ARE CONFUSED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS BUT THEIR SEXUALITY AINT ONE

[hjslanshsj]

Jaune: Oscar was beaten, kidnapped, missing and for all we know dead. Yang is experiencing some deeply rooted trust and abandonment issues without anyone from her team around. And Ren is full on having an existential crisis.

Jaune: So turns out, for the first time I am the most mentally stable member of a team, and if that's not a bad omen I don't know what it is.