I am Emo Shit.

[grynve]

getting back into being active on tumblr and istg i need to find more people in the carry on fandom. if you like carry on (even if you just reblog), or know people who are active in it, PLEASE like or comment on this so i can find more people 🙏

[heatedrivalryrps]

Jane's Burner Phone

roleplayer: (After Vegas, Shane gets a burner phone for texting Ilya when he is in Russia, so he pretends more to be "Jane", Ilyas "girlfriend". The lines between pretending and truth start getting blurred. I want to take this to a place where Ilya comes back and they need to navigate how honest they were) I just woke up so it should be early afternoon for you now. How was saying goodbye to your niece? J

A roleplayer: It was...rough. I will miss her.-L

roleplayer: I get that. Can she do phone calls yet? J

A roleplayer: Not by herself. She would need help from her parents.-L I doubt Alexei would be that nice.-L

roleplayer: But her mom maybe? J

A roleplayer: Maybe.-L

roleplayer: It would be nice. A whole year is so long. J

A roleplayer: She grows up so much when I am gone.-L

roleplayer: You can write her postcards and stuff. J

A roleplayer: I would like to. Maybe I can send her more things while I am away.-L

roleplayer: Yeah! That sounds nice. J You have their adress, yes? J

A roleplayer: I do, yes.-L

roleplayer: Does she know about hockey? J

roleplayer: Like, the league? That you play? J

A roleplayer: Yes, she knows that I play. She has seen me practice a few times.-J

A roleplayer: She thinks I mostly just work at the gym since I am always there.-L

roleplayer: That's kind of hilarious. You working at the gym. J Did you take her skating? J

A roleplayer: Since she could walk. I wanted to teach her like Mama talk me.-L

A roleplayer: *taught

roleplayer: That's so, so sweet. J You'll be a great dad, Ilya. J

A roleplayer: I would not say that, but thank you.-L

roleplayer: Why not? J

A roleplayer: [delayed] I do not want to keep the problems going. I do not know what it is called. LIke carrying over from my parents.-L

roleplayer: Ah. You don't want kids to inherit your genes and stuff? J

A roleplayer: Yes! I do not want to be like my father.-L

roleplayer: You would never be like your father. J What you've told me these last weeks, he sounds awful. J

A roleplayer: He is very...traditional. Old fashioned. Very Russian.-L

roleplayer: You aren't like that. J You are Russian but you are kind. J

A roleplayer: I am still an asshole. Do not make me too soft, Hollander.-L

roleplayer: Jane. Not Hollander. J

roleplayer: You are harsher when you are in Russia. J

roleplayer: You'll be softer when you are back. J

A roleplayer: Sorry. Jane.-L This place is...rough.-L

roleplayer: I know. You explained it. J But your flight back is tonight, yes? J

A roleplayer: Yes, thankfully.-L

A roleplayer: Will be nice to be home.-L

roleplayer: Boston is home now? Not Moscow? J

A roleplayer: Sometimes I wish it was.-L

roleplayer: Like.. with citizenship and everything? J

A roleplayer: Yes.-L

A roleplayer: But my family is here. It is complicated.-L

roleplayer: Can you have both, technically? Like could you keep the Russian? J

A roleplayer: Yes, I could. Dual citizenship, I think is what it is called.-L

roleplayer: Have you looked into getting it? J

A roleplayer: Not seriously yet. Some of the other peoples talk about it.-L

A roleplayer: *players

roleplayer: I can look into it. J

A roleplayer: You do not have to do that. I know you are busy.-L

roleplayer: I am at my cottage just swimming and running and watching hockey. My ads are done. J

A roleplayer: And missing me? I am hurt I did not make the list, Jane.-L Sounds boring.-L

roleplayer: Of course, missing my boyfriend is also a significant part of my day. J Fuck off. I will do research for you, be nice. J

A roleplayer: Such a sweet girlfriend.-L

A roleplayer: Thank you.-L

roleplayer: :) J Will you text me when you land? J

A roleplayer: Of course. I always do.-L

roleplayer: Well you did it once. I guess that's all the times you've taken planes so far while we were texting? J

A roleplayer: You are cute when you are so specific.-L

roleplayer: It's just easier to be clear about things! J

roleplayer: Anyways. J

roleplayer: Have a good flight, yes? Be careful. J

A roleplayer: Да, дорогой (yes, darling)-L

A roleplayer: [17 hours later] Travel from Russia is exhausting.-L

roleplayer: You landed in Boston? J

A roleplayer: Yes. Safe and sound.-L

roleplayer: Good. I'm glad. J (from his usual number) We can use this phone again then. J

A roleplayer: Yay.-L

roleplayer: Was your flight okay? That was so long. J

A roleplayer: It was nothing exciting. No delays which was nice.-L

roleplayer: Could you sleep? L

roleplayer: (*J

A roleplayer: I did. I usually do on the flight back to Boston because I am drained.-L

roleplayer: Understandable. J So. You probably want to get more sleep now. J

A roleplayer: No, I like talking to you.-L

roleplayer: We can keep talking, too. J How many days until training for you? J

A roleplayer: Five. -L

A roleplayer: Wanted time to readjust.-L

roleplayer: Mm. Understandable. Deal with the jetlag. J

A roleplayer: Helps with focus for training.-L

roleplayer: You'll need it this season. J

roleplayer: God it's good to be able to bicker again and not pretend that I don't play. J

A roleplayer: Mm. You miss being mean to me. -L I will not need it this season. We will win.-L

roleplayer: I did miss it, yes. I missed being able to say I'm better at hockey than you. J In your dreams, Ilya. J

A roleplayer: Ooooooh, first name.-L

roleplayer: Ah shit. Sorry. J Kind of.. it's still in my system. J

A roleplayer: I do not mind it.-L

roleplayer: It was safer over there. J

A roleplayer: I know. I know.-L

roleplayer: Do we switch to that here? J Like.. do first names? J

A roleplayer: Makes it serious, doesn't it?-L

roleplayer: Yeah.. I guess. J

A roleplayer: Do you want to?-L

roleplayer: Make it serious? J

A roleplayer: Use first names.-L [long delay] But that too.-L

roleplayer: Do you want to? J

A roleplayer: No, I asked you first.-L

roleplayer: No you don't want to? Then why even ask? J

A roleplayer: No as in. I will answer after you because I asked you first.-L

roleplayer: Ah. J

roleplayer: (...) It'd be really, really stupid. J

roleplayer: But being your girlfriend was kind of.. nice. J

A roleplayer: Kind of? Not amazing? Best thing to happen to you?-L

roleplayer: Fuck off. J Pretending to be a girl was still kind of weird. J

A roleplayer: You did very good.-L

roleplayer: Yes? I had to google stuff about menstrual cycles to be believable. J

A roleplayer: You took the role very seriously.-L

roleplayer: I didn't want you in any sort of danger. J

A roleplayer: I know. You are very kind. Too good for me.-L We will have to be careful so you do not baby trap me.-L

roleplayer: Very funny. We both know it doesn't work. J But if you got me pregnant and ruined my career I would murder you. J

A roleplayer: You would not murder me.-L

roleplayer: If you take hockey away from me? Yes. Yes I would. J

A roleplayer: I would never do that.-L

roleplayer: Good. So be good and keep wearing condoms. J

roleplayer: But I don't think I am too good for you. For the record. J

A roleplayer: No?-L

roleplayer: No. J You're softer than you think. J

A roleplayer: You did this to me.-L

roleplayer: As if. J

A roleplayer: Is true. I used to be a big intimidating Russian.-L

roleplayer: And what did I do? J

A roleplayer: Made me all soft and...mushy.-L

roleplayer: By doing what?? I didn't like.. try to manipulate you or anything. J

A roleplayer: No, just flashing your freckles and cute little smile at me.-L

roleplayer: (...) You like me. J

roleplayer: You didn't answer the question. J

A roleplayer: Yes, I like you.-L

roleplayer: And like.. do you want to? J

A roleplayer: Want to like you? Yes.-L

roleplayer: Want to do first names. And stuff. J

A roleplayer: What is 'stuff'?-L

roleplayer: Make it serious. J

A roleplayer: We can not be serious.-L

roleplayer: Not the question. J

A roleplayer: It is stupid. You said so yourself.-L

roleplayer: But would you want to? J

A roleplayer: Yes.-L

roleplayer: This sucks so fucking much. J

A roleplayer: It does, yes, but...Такова жизнь. (Such is life)-L

roleplayer: So.. what do we do? J

A roleplayer: What do you mean?-L

roleplayer: Where do we go from here? J Do we like.. stop? J

A roleplayer: We probably should have stopped a long time ago.-

A roleplayer: *L

roleplayer: Would have been the smart thing. J

roleplayer: But clearly it's not what we want. J

A roleplayer: [ong delay] I know it will have to stop....but I do not want it to yet.-L

roleplayer: (...) When does it have to stop? J

A roleplayer: I do not know.-L

roleplayer: Would you tell me if you figure it out? J

A roleplayer: Yes, because you deserve to know.-L

roleplayer: (...) I don't want anyone else. J

A roleplayer: Don't. Do not do that.-L

roleplayer: I just wanted to say it once. J

A roleplayer: What good does that do?-L

roleplayer: Just.. being honest? J

roleplayer: So you know I care? J

A roleplayer: You should not care about me like that.-L

roleplayer: Too late. J

roleplayer: Are you saying you don't? J

A roleplayer: No, that is not what I am saying.-L

roleplayer: Then you can't judge me for it. J

A roleplayer: I am not judging you. It just...hurts.-L

roleplayer: What if we are just really careful? J

A roleplayer: We are careful.-L

roleplayer: Yes. J So.. what if I come to Boston for a day or two? J

A roleplayer: You know that is a bad idea.-L

roleplayer: I do. J

roleplayer: But we only play Boston in 6 weeks. J

A roleplayer: Are we allowed to have more than an hour or two?-L

roleplayer: If I come to Boston just to see you? We better. J

A roleplayer: You would stay with me?-L

roleplayer: If that would be an option for you? J

A roleplayer: It is my house.-L I have never invited someone over to stay.-L [delayed] This was easier when it was just sex.-L

roleplayer: (...) I told you you didn't have to text Jane back from Russia. J

A roleplayer: So this is my fault?-L

roleplayer: No! No. Both our fault. J

roleplayer: But I didn't like, make you do it. J

A roleplayer: I wanted to! I miss you like fucking crazy when I am there. When I am here.-L

roleplayer: ..You miss me? J

A roleplayer: [long delay] Yes.-L

roleplayer: Me? You mean this? Not "Jane"? J

A roleplayer: I am offended by that question.-L

roleplayer: Why? J

A roleplayer: Because you are the same.-L

roleplayer: But when you were in Russia.. I'm not sure how much of that you meant and how much was just playing it up for the image of it. J

A roleplayer: Oh.-L

A roleplayer: Yes, I guess it was just a game.-L

A roleplayer: You were acting.-L

roleplayer: No, no. It wasn't just a game. J

roleplayer: Not to me. J

roleplayer: But I couldn't call a timeout and take you to the side to ask how much of it you mean. J

roleplayer: So I just.. kind of braced for the worst. J

A roleplayer: You meant everything?-L

roleplayer: Well except for the things about my menstrual cycle. J

A roleplayer: It was very convincing.-L

roleplayer: Fuck off. I installed a tracker app onto my burner phone. J

A roleplayer: You are adorable.-L

roleplayer: You only think so because I am ovulating. J

A roleplayer: Obviously.-L

roleplayer: You know what's kind of funny? J

A roleplayer: What?-L

roleplayer: Hayden has joked about getting me pregnant like. Three times. J I must give off that energy. J

A roleplayer: Hayden needs to keep his dick away from you.-L

roleplayer: Aw, are you jealous? J

A roleplayer: He is very fertile.-L

roleplayer: I.. yeah. I guess you have a point. J Maybe Jackie is though. We don't know that. J

A roleplayer: Do not care.-L

roleplayer: Rude. He's like my brother. J

roleplayer: But you don't need to worry. J No chances of me getting with that man. Ever. J

A roleplayer: I do not like the chances of you getting with any man.-L

roleplayer: Possessive. J

roleplayer: I will make that deal if you agree to not sleep with any more women. J

A roleplayer: I did not sleep with anyone over the summer.-L

roleplayer: No? The whole summer? J

A roleplayer: Whole summer.-L

roleplayer: (...) I'm landing in Boston tomorrow at 11am. J

A roleplayer: Really?-L

roleplayer: Yes. Really. J You have no idea how much that turns me on. J

A roleplayer: That I did not have sex?-L

roleplayer: Yes. J

roleplayer: Only me. J

A roleplayer: There is no one like you.-L

roleplayer: Only us then. J From here. J

A roleplayer: I want that, but you do not have to do that.-L

roleplayer: I want it too. J (...) I tried it with two other people. In total. Didn't like it, so both of those only happened once. J

A roleplayer: You did not like it?-L

roleplayer: It wasn't bad. But.. I don't know. Not good. J No kissing, no talking, they had no idea what I like and didn't care. It was just rushed and impersonal. J

A roleplayer: They were hookups.-L

A roleplayer: What we were supposed to be.-L

roleplayer: That's not sex worth having. J

roleplayer: We weren't even like that the first time we met up. J

A roleplayer: No, we were not. I wanted to kiss you at least once.-L

A roleplayer: Then you were just so...perfect.-L

roleplayer: Wait are you saying that your other hookups aren't like this? J

A roleplayer: No, they are not. Except Sveta, but that's entirely different.-L

roleplayer: Hm. J I have to say I'm not a fan of that constellation either. J

A roleplayer: I know. I will not sleep with her anymore.-L

roleplayer: Good. Only me. J

roleplayer: Is it okay if I stay for the whole day and one night? J

A roleplayer: You can stay as long as you want.-L

roleplayer: If you say that then I will take it as what you mean. J

roleplayer: I can't read subtext well. Give me a timeframe. J

A roleplayer: I do mean it.-L

A roleplayer: There is no subtext.-L

roleplayer: So even if I stayed all week? You would not mind? J

A roleplayer: A whole week?-L

roleplayer: Hypothetically. I have training in four days. J

A roleplayer: Almost a week. I will take it.-L

roleplayer: I mean, three days. I'm coming tomorrow. J

A roleplayer: Fine. Three day.-L

roleplayer: You have to he honest with me if I am too much. J

roleplayer: I am serious when I say I can't read it if you don't tell me clearly. J

A roleplayer: I know. We have known each other a while.-L

roleplayer: We haven't spent that much time together. In person. J

A roleplayer: I guess it will determine if this is serious.-L

roleplayer: Oh but no pressure. J

roleplayer: (...) I need to make a list. J

A roleplayer: A list?-L

roleplayer: Yes. J Of things I could do that would annoy you. Enough to change your mind. J

A roleplayer: That is a weird thing to make a list of.-L

A roleplayer: What would even be on it?-L

roleplayer: I am thinking. J

roleplayer: - Have a panic attack L - Be too weird about food L - Be too weird about textures/lights/stuff like that L

roleplayer: - Be too direct (?) You don't care about that as much as Americans. L

A roleplayer: Why would these things annoy me? They are part of who you are.-L

roleplayer: They are annoying parts of who I am. J

roleplayer: Three days with me is a lot already. J

A roleplayer: Has someone told you they were annoying parts?-L

A roleplayer: Three days with you is not a lot.-L

roleplayer: Is that a joke? J

roleplayer: I know they are annoying. J

roleplayer: Everyone has told me that sooner or later. J

roleplayer: Three days one of one? Yes it is. But we can have sex, I guess that's a good way to pass time without talking much. J

A roleplayer: But I like talking to you.-L

roleplayer: I like talking to you too. A lot. J

A roleplayer: But you want to come here just to have sex?-L I am not complaining because I like sex with you, but..that is not all I want...-L

roleplayer: Ilya I know we are both top athletes but even we could not have sex for three days straight. J

roleplayer: How about you tell me what else you want? J

roleplayer: Then I can prepare. J

A roleplayer: I want you in my house.-L I want you with me when we fall asleep and when we wake up.-L

A roleplayer: I want to...I don't know...take care of you.-L

A roleplayer: I don't care about your food or that you don't like bright lights or loud sounds or too much going on at once.-L

roleplayer: It's boring though. J

roleplayer: You've said that too. J

roleplayer: It really does not bother you? J

A roleplayer: It is boring. You are boring, but I like your boring.-L It is...consistent. Stable.-L No, it does not bother me.-L

A roleplayer: We can keep the lights completely off and the television muted for all I care.-L

roleplayer: (...) You're too good for me. J

roleplayer: You're so easy. You just accept my.. stuff and you don't care. J

roleplayer: It's easy with you. Even if everything around it is so fucking hard. J

A roleplayer: You accept me with my stuff and do not care. What is the difference?-L

roleplayer: Your stuff is easy to handle and accept. J

A roleplayer: So is yours.-L

roleplayer: Even my parents struggle with it sometimes. J

roleplayer: It doesn't feel like it's easy to handle. J

roleplayer: Promise me you'll tell me if you need space? J

A roleplayer: You just need comfort.-L

A roleplayer: And to come out of your head. It is easy.-L Yes, I will tell you.-L

A roleplayer: What textures do you not like?-L

roleplayer: Satin. And wool. And like.. any wet fabric. Like wet sponges or towels drive me insane. J

roleplayer: Anything scented can throw me off. So if you have a lot of scented candled or stuff like that. J

roleplayer: (*candles

A roleplayer: I do not like Satin either.-L No candles. But I am scented.-L

A roleplayer: You like my shampoo though...and cologne. Right?-L

roleplayer: I do, yes. J Your cologne smells nice but maybe a little less when we are around each other for that long? SH

roleplayer: (*J

A roleplayer: Okay.-L

A roleplayer: You just have to ask for what you need.-L

roleplayer: It's hard sometimes. J

roleplayer: People get pissed at me for it. J

roleplayer: But I know that's not you. So. I will try. Okay? J

A roleplayer: I know it is hard. I try to figure it out on my own when we are together.-L

A roleplayer: Your brain can get very...jumbled.-L

roleplayer: Ha. That's a nice way to put it. Yeah it can. J

roleplayer: It just works differently I think. J

roleplayer: Is there something like that about you? That I can be mindful of? J

A roleplayer: I like your brain.-L

A roleplayer: [delayed] I get sad. Like Mama.-L

roleplayer: You mean like.. depressed? J

A roleplayer: Yeah, I think so.-L

roleplayer: That sucks. J Can you tell when it happens? Are there signs? Do you see a therapist? J

A roleplayer: I know when I am sad, yes. It is like feeling full of rocks sometimes.-L

roleplayer: What can I do to make it better? J

[my-castles-crumbling]

kotik - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 285 - click here to see my microfic archive!

“Here,” Ilya says in a would-be casual tone, except Shane can detect his anxiety by the way his back is ramrod straight. “For you.”

And suddenly, a stack of index cards is shoved in Shane’s hands. 

Curious and a little confused, he begins to shuffle through the offending pieces of paper. After only a few, however, he catches on. On one side of each is a Russian word, written in both the Cyrillic and English alphabets, and on the other is a picture or English word. 

Shane can’t help but break into a giant grin. “You made me flashcards?” he asks, glancing over at his boyfriend, who is insisting on frowning and staring off into the distance like he hasn’t just done something absolutely adorable.

“You told me you like these better than language app, so I make,” Ilya says, shrugging and shaking his head a little. “Is no big deal.”

But it is. It’s a huge deal. Shane can tell from the way Ilya’s painstakingly chosen words and pictures that obviously mean something to him or Shane or both that Ilya’s thought about this, and that Shane learning Russian truly means something to him. 

“You do not have to use–” Ilya starts, but Shane interrupts.

“They’re great, Rozanov,” he says firmly, already shuffling through them. “I–” But he’s gotten to a card labelled ‘Kotik’ with a picture of himself on the back. “What’s this word? Boyfriend?”

And Ilya’s suddenly smirking. “Ah, no. See your face in this picture? You are angry. Like cute little kitten. Kotik is small cat.”

So Shane throws the card at Ilya, who lets out a dramatic yelp and flips a finger in his direction, both of them laughing wildly.

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry - twitter edition (1/?)

bonus:

[moon--light--evanescence]

I see your freak4freak and i raise you feral4feral, specifically snowbaz.

Like, remember when that fomorian was feeling Baz up and Simon took an ivory stick and stabbed it through the guy's throat? In contrast, remember when Baz thought Simon had been killed by Braden's men, so he ripped Braden's jaw off and proceeded to tear chunks out of him with his teeth.

Your honor, they are made for each other. Anyone else would be put off by this behavior, but they think it's endearing of the other. They are crazy, and they are crazy for each other.

[krisrix]

Happy Birthday, Shepard! 🖤

[miscelium]

shane riding it crazy style in a backwards baseball hat is like level up of white crew socks as lingerie. i think it would give ilya a nosebleed

no bc shane bouncing and moaning on it in just the white crew socks and backwards baseball hat and maybe his smartwatch notifying him he's hit his cardio goal for the day would give me a nosebleed too

[aemelia]

@mina-logan absolutely zero pressure BUT I can picture this drawn in your style so clearly it’s like a vision from god

[mina-logan]

Baby I’m taking NOTES because YES.

[mina-logan]

Anyway I did it.

Full art on AO3: Here

[snowbazdaily]

WIP Wednesday

2026.03.25 - 2026.04.01

@10daysto1k Words of Whimsy has started posting!

A collection of the WIP fics that have posted in the last week.

Apartment 2A [M, 16/?] by i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce

Baby I'm Yours [T, 1/5] by @fiend-for-culture / fiend-for-culture (caspian) 

Dance with me? [M, 1/10] by @orange-peony / shushu_yaoi_lj

Dead Air [T, 10/18] by @gwynskylar / gwynskylar

hey beautiful :) [T, 1/10] by @thewholelemon / TheWholeLemon

How hard did you hit him? [NR, 2/?] by becomingbolderasyougrowolder

i'm sick of meaning (i just wanna hold you) [M, 1/?] by @simonsnow-irl / strugglingbabe

Infinity In Your Chest [G, 3/?] by nerdistheword

Notting Hill* [M, 5/12] by @fiend-for-culture / fiend-for-culture (caspian)

Return to Sender [T, 7/9] by @ciescen / ciescen

Sharpen Your Teeth* [E, 33/?] by kayla96k

Vampire Empire [NR, 22/?] by CoolVintageCassette

The Watford Writing Center [1/10] by @monbons / monbons

With our eyes closed* [T, 8/?] by Kej54321 with art by @sp3akfromtheart

*Multiple chapters posted.

Carry On Reverse Bang fic. 10k to 1k Words of Wimsy fics. For Fandom Trumps Hate 2025.

[sosaneitsinsane]

fall in love again and again...

please do not repost without crediting me. find me on instagram, twitter, and tiktok. you can also support me by subscribing to my patreon newsletter.

[the-ladyrae]

That was delicious. I genuinely don't think I've seen anyone line up those scene parallels so well before. This was a perfect snapshot of every branch, rock, and mattress they hit on their way down

[gaynehollander]

Shane after playing Never Have I Ever with the Centaurs, absolutely wasted (truly never been as drunk), "Ilya... am I... kinky?"

[rainbowrowell]

If I ever do write another Simon Snow book, I'm doing it for the 50 or so people on Tumblr who have been cracking me up and making me feel heard for the last ten years.

Like, other people can read it, sure. But they will be extraneous.

[sisahashi]

grumpy repressed hockey man & his emotional support social media manager/apple farmer

[profiad]

Yes of course I watched the queer hockey show, I am both a Canadian and a faggot 🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈

[naidje]

Beth McCarthy gives trans fan new name

[queer-joy-detector]

Queer joy detected!

[badkarma1998]

[bachusekart]

wanted to do a study of shepard’s tattoos but was too lazy to actually draw the tattoos.. then i got carried away w the little penny instead

[mio00-00]

Huntrix Mermaid AU 🧜‍♀️

[slowghostlywhispers]

NEED

[prettyaudvampyscones]

Simon and Baz watching Kpop Demon Hunters and Simon says “I wanna be your Little Soda Pop!!”