Gallery of Abominations

A place for me to share the interesting abominations I come across on the web.

[brw]

you know when irish people were fighting for freedom the rebels were never considered revolutionaries or freedom fighters. we had only ever been called terrorists by the british government, because when you call a people fighting for their rights and their freedoms terrorists you can distance yourself from them. people aren't fighting because they've been radicalised by 800 years of colonialism or 75 years of brutal settler imperialism, they're fighting because they're dirty terrorists trying to hurt our democracy and kill our children. and now we don't have any responsibility to reckon with the years of subjugation and settler violence and attempted genocide, because how can you expect us to deal with terrorists? the same story repeats itself over and over n it's shocking how people will eat it up every time when it comes to protecting and maintaining western power.

[inkskinned]

"your pet doesn't love you; it just has learned that it will get treats if it acts a certain way. it can't understand you."

in between humans, i don't always speak the language either. love has always been hard for me. i don't trust it. i can't read it easily on people's faces - i'm usually trying to read past it; to the "other parts", the ones that make sense to me.

but my mom always offers me food as soon as i get through the door. my brother calls me at weird hours, just to be talking. my sister has a nightmare; asks me to please drive safe in the morning. i throw my friends random parties, just to celebrate something. she drives 45 minutes to spend 3 hours with me. amelia holds my hand while we both cross the street.

no, my dog and i don't have the same language. so what? this is not the same thing as communication. my dog is a good study in how trauma can heal - a rescue from the racetrack; i've been watching his personality develop slowly. in the last year, he's gotten so comfortable with me that he'll ask me to sit down on the grass so he can use my body as a seat. (it's important to note: he is huge. he squishes me. i don't complain. i find it lovely.)

love for us is also just endorphins and behavioral response. i'm a poet, the number of sad men that have tried to "teach me" how stupid it is to be a hopeless romantic is ... not a low one. i cannot count how many times someone has argued - it's all chemical stimulus - as if the fact of it makes it less magical. we're just electrical signals reading the universe! that's fucked up. that's so beautiful.

i find it hard to believe that in the spectrum of evolution we are the only species to feel like this - we already know that dogs and cats also have endorphins. why wouldn't they experience joy? love? companionship? in what world is it a new thing that i had to earn it? in every relationship, both individuals have to work to learn the language. i had to teach my dog what trust is. it's okay that it took time for him to learn it.

in the human world, when i love someone, it's hard for me to speak it. i write them poems or make them food or give them a cool rock i found on the beach.

i don't know how to tell goblin i love him, so i tell him through treats. through a new collar, fancy mattresses, a little bow on his leash. i tell him with long walks and petting him and sitting down on the wet ground so my 70 pound sharp noodle of a dog can prance on my thigh bones and take an awkward - if loving - seat.

"you taught your dog to love you" is kind of a cruel way to reframe what actually happened: i loved him so loudly, it skipped over language and species. the two of us just saying - oh! i have figured out a way to tell you that you make me happy.

[memeclassheroes]

[paradisixx]

I never seen bugs throw hands before 😂

[scorchedtulips]

are they angry or just playing??

[bogleech]

They’re males of two different species and the males of many beetles harmlessly wrestle in order to impress females. They aren’t really bright enough to know sometimes that there are no females around or that their opponent isn’t even their own kind anyway. Sometimes now and the they will also just fight the female they were trying to impress in the first place like the fighting instinct forgets to switch itself off

[spiderworries]

Entranced

[dailylilnasx]

Lil Nas X for Guardian Weekend Magazine.

[blackinmotionpictures]

“I started out as a writer and a director. I started acting because I wanted to know how to relate to the actors. When people ask me what I do, I don’t really say that I’m an actor, because actors often wait for someone to give them roles.”

Chadwick Boseman + Filmography

[heroes-get-made-deactivated2022]

Some ideas for bad things that are white/light:

lightning, very hot fire

snow storms, ice, frost on crops

some types of fungus/mold

corpses, ghosts, bones, a diseased person

clothing, skin tone, hair, etc. of a bad person

fur, teeth, eyes of an attacking animal/monster

bleached out deserts, dead trees, lifeless places

poison

Some ideas for good things that are black/dark:

rich earth/soil

chocolate, truffles, wine, cooked meat

friendly animals/pets/creatures

a character’s favorite vehicle, technology, coat, etc.

a pleasant night

hair, skin tone, clothing, etc. of a good person

undisturbed water of a lake

the case/container of something important

valued wood, furniture, art

velvet

Think to burn, to infect, to bleach vs. to enrich, to protect, to be of substance.

[noseforahtwo]

*slams reblog like the fist of an angry god*

the politics of light and dark are everywhere in our vocabulary…psa to writers: subvert this, reveal whiteness and lightness as sometimes artificial and violent, and darkness as healing, the unknown as natural

[attractthecrows]

“The truth finds more comfort in the dark”

[jackdaw-kraai]

“The light can blind as easily as the dark conceals. The dark can protect as easily as the light guides. Neither are pure good nor evil, pure chaos nor order. The light and dark just are.”

[hedgehog-moss]

I often wonder what my pets have named me. Humans are a visual species and like to name our pets based on their aspect or colour, so I think my dog with his smell-based worldview would come up with a smell name. I imagine something cute and cheerful and a little over the top in a dog way, like Applefriend Cake, because my laundry product gives my clothes a sweet, slightly apple-y smell which might remind Pandolf of happy memories of tasting cake crumbs. Unless he was feeling serious the day he named me, and basing himself on the fact that I read a lot and my hands often smell like book pages when I pet him, and went with something more decorous that translates to Paperdust Pal. Cat naming conventions are more enigmatic since they are less preoccupied with human affairs. My catgiven name was probably the result of a secret ballot vote among my cats, who decided upon something that resonates with cat history and heritage—a dated, unfashionable name if they felt a duty to honour one of their ancestors or if I’m lucky, a mythological figure from cat lore.

[vyrenrolar]

this is such a good post now i want to know what the cat i live with calls me

[thewightknight]

Shakespearean insults, with cats.

7 more here.

[kat-howard-deactivated20241127]

I did not realize how very perfect cats were at delivering Shakespeare’s insults until now.

[kittysuggest]

this belongs here

[askfordoodles]

The 3 stages of a cat yawn

Stage 1: cute tiny “O”-mouth.

Stage 2: sticky the tongue out real far

Stage 3: ENtirE FacE SPLItS opEn LiKE a lOVecRAFTIAn hoRROR, REvEALInG aN eNDLESS pIT of poiNts ANd blaDES oH GOD

[lindsay-blogs]

Stage 5: Mlem

[echosilverwolf]

[sherlolly]

This is a perfect description.

[themoufofthesouth]

[danhumphrey]

scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet

peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,

[northstarthembo]

Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can’t shrink: oh okay no biggee, we’ll just make the LEGO castle big

[magical-awesome-kid]

Peter, ready to cry from joy: do you like Star Wars? Because I have a replica… and my friend Ned and I got it to fly…

Scott Lang, a mechanical engineer and nerd: kid you are my people

[letitrainathousandflames-archive]

Tony, calling peter: …and may I know WHY THE HELL IS SHIELD CALLING ME ABOUT A LIFE-SIZED DEATH STAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?!

Peter: we didn’t want it to crush any buildings so we brought it out here!

Tony: THATS N O T MY POINT!!!

[gingersnapwolves]

#and then Tony wonders when the hell HE became the responsible one#and promptly abandons his responsibilities#and jumps in his armor#to go zoom around the life size death star#pretending he’s Luke doing the trench run (via)

[153-centimeters-of-sass]

It got better!

[aqueerkettleofish]

I was gonna SAY, Tony would fly out there, look at the thing, and go…. No, this isn’t life size. Impressive though. Okay, bugs, put on these helmets, we’re taking this into orbit and doing this at 1:1 scale.

[joasakura]

Sam: Barnes is gonna make an awesome Chewbacca.

Bucky: -.-

[iconuk01]

Guardians arriving back in Earth orbit for a visit: Rocket : When the **** did Earth get another moon? Peter Qull (with an indescribable look on his face, but knowing his entire life has built to this moment): That’s no moon!

[nightbleeder]

OH MY FUCKING GOD

[wonheony]

MAMA 2018 - Jooheon

[wonheony]

Joohoney & 🎀

[tombliboos]

“Daenerys turned evil because of misogyny!” nah, it ain’t it fam. Please folks, let me offer a different perspective.

Game of Thrones is a bourgeois centrist masturbatory fantasy written by someone who openly endorsed Clinton over Sanders in 2016 and now supports Joe Biden, adapted for screen by the son of an ex Goldman Sachs executive who worked for George W. Bush.

I grew up in a country where textual analysis is always done taking into account authorial intent. Every work of literature was analysed through the lens of the author and the political environment they lived in. Do not “Death of the Author” @ me.  

That being said.

Daenerys was textually coded as the “Breaker of Chains” revolutionary who frees slaves and roasts their masters. Revolutionaries do not do well in American productions, whether on paper or screen. The “revolutionary (=anyone who attempts to break the status quo) fella as villain” is a fairly common trope in superhero stories. Villains such as Bane are always given “I’m here to break the system and end corruption” lines, and the superhero is the one called to preserve the status quo. To preserve the system.  

The American hero will never yell “slay the masters”.

Long story short: revolution = bad. Status quo = good. The revolutionary is always fated to go downhill. Why? To show that revolutions are nothing but a source of death and destruction. Daenerys goes from burning slavers to torching kids. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You want the oppressive Tsar gone? Careful boy, because you might get Stalin. The proletarian revolution is just not worth it.

D&D have gone to great lengths to tick every “5 Things Writers Should Never Do” box, using Tyrion as a mouthpiece to explain that using violence against bad people is wrong and centrism is good. For example, punching fascists is a downward spiral. You punch a fascist, and you enjoy it, so you start punching those who are harassing your friend. In 48 hours, you are punching random women and children on the street. That was foreshadowed when you started punching fascists. So, refrain from punching fascists. Compromise with them. If you punch a fascist, then you are just the same as them.

Daenerys has to turn evil evil, for bourgeois Jon Snow has to kill the revolutionary. The young, idealist bourgie has flirted with the revolution, but the revolution has shown her true nature. Anarcho-communist, politically savvy Drogon burns the Iron Throne. The threat of the revolution is gone. The Lannisters were good bois all along, as they never threatened to “break the wheel” or sumn. Nobles gather in the Dragonpit. They laugh at the idea of granting peasants rights. But that’s fine, because the bigger threat is gone.

Monarchy is out. Oligarchy is in. Self-elected technocrats gather at the table. Bronn, of all people, is Master of Coin. He really needs the bad pussy. Tyrion, who has failed at literally everything, participated in war crimes, and whose counsel to Daenerys was nothing short of disastrous and part of the reason she fell from grace, is never held accountable for his failures and gets to keep his job - like a proper Goldman Sachs executive after 2008.

Bourgie Bran is elected King. Surveillance state is on.

Nobody ever asked the smallfolk their opinion about this whole mess. 

“What was the point of Game of Thrones?”

The Night King was the good guy all along.

To sum up:

Daenerys did nothing wrong

Authorial intent is important

It’s finally over, now you can move on and watch anime

[prettycallous]

Damn, this makes some fucked up kind of sense.

[captain-flint]

Maybe it’s the heightened stakes, but whatever it is.. Me and Bucky make a good team. Working together, watching each other’s back…

for heartoferebor 

[prettycallous]

I CANNOT. FUCKING. WAIT.

[chaotic-carnifex]

Anyway if you’re from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):

Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.

You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.

You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.

You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.

What the fuck is “military time”

Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.

People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.

You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.

People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.

People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.

You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.

People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.

You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.

People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.

Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.

You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.

People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.

(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)

You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.

You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.

Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??

Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.

Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.

[weepylucifer]

whatever the fuck ROTC kids are (it sounds evil)

spray cheese from a can??

school sports being taken Seriously?

motivational speakers being a real thing that exists

americans insisting that “everyone can pronounce van gogh!” and then saying it wrong every time

an issue occurs in another country and everyone goes “okay but. IN AMERICA,”

[rainbowravioli]

The weird obsession with how words are spelled to the point that they created national contests surrounding the concept. Meanwhile, you were convinced this was a fictional thing that only happened in movies.

You are forced to know and care about everything relating to the USA. Nobody knows the first thing about your countries issues nor do they care.

Everything must be measured and interpreted according to American standards. There is no need for context or nuance, just apply the way things work in America to every single country in the world. Instant profit.