No Idea What I’m Doing But I’m Doing It

Sometimes I post a fic, sometimes I lurk silently. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyGoodOdds/works

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[elisaholies]

14 HR recs

Plausible Deniability | 40K | Getting information out of Ilya about his family was like getting blood from stone. Maybe harder. It had been one of the first things Shane had noticed about him. Any questions about his parents – the kind of typical things Shane’s mom had taught him to ask to make polite conversations – would result in brusque, emotionless answers or, worse, actual anger. But somewhere out there was Irina’s granddaughter. The only remaining blood relative that Ilya gave a shit about. And Ilya could never go back, which was Shane’s fault. So that bothered him.| Canon divergent, deviates at some point during Heated Rivalry IIRC but sort of runs parallel to canon as we know it, all through TLG and then gets into future fic territory. Shane starts wondering about how Ilya's niece is doing in Russia and handles the whole thing in a very Shane way. I love how the author intertwines their additions with canon events. Excellent characterisation all around, but I'm particularly in love with this Shane. The way he acts, thinks and speaks rings so true to canon and seems a pretty realistic portrayal of neurodivergence, at least to me. I'm also very impressed with Ilya's niece's storyline . I've read so many stories where she lands on Ilya and Shane's doorstep because of reasons, and it always seems so OTT and in some cases Shane and Ilya have no trouble establishing a rapport with her... the way it is handled here is so much more realistic for Shane and Ilya both. There's a very cute and fluffy epilogue, so it's definitely a HEA, feel good kind of story, fear not. 

Definitely, Probably | 11K | “Bella broke up with JJ.” Shane stopped dead. He swore the temperature in the kitchen dropped two degrees. “What? Noooooooo.” The neck of his T-shirt was suddenly too tight. He curled a finger in the elastic and pulled. Air. He needed air. Hayden’s voice was lowered to a frightened whisper, “We’re Code Red, buddy. Code fucking Red.” | Cute. Lovely jealous Ilya and a nice look at Shane's friendship with Hayden and JJ. Original.

storm has set the heavens scowling by @qqueenofhades| 150K | The Heated Rivalry/Shadow and Bone crossover that the people needed.| Okay, this summary totally does not do this epic story justice! First off, it's @qqueenofhades who is, IIRC, a historian and a published writer, but to me will always be the fandom hero who wrote the definitive A Song of Ice And Fire Fixit Epic which means I don't give a fuck about the mess that GoT ended up being or the fact that GRRM will never finish the series...and if you're worried because it's a crossover with a fandom you don't know anything about...I didn't either. I think I watched a couple of episodes of A Shadow and Bone Netflix series and noped out early and you know what? You don't need to know the first thing about that to enjoy this amazing AU. This is fully set in the HR world. You can simply take all the characters as OCs (and they are some awesome OCs, let me reassure you). And @qqueenofhades knows history and is an excellent writer. This is a superb Ilya-centric story, even though it's not only about Ilya. I can't believe I forgot to recommend it as soon as it was complete! 

sold to shane hollander | 9.5K | “I did not have a crush on Hollander,” Troy argues. “So wanting his number is not having a crush?” Dykstra asks. “Jesus Christ,” Troy murmurs under his breath. Harris feels like he should take pity on his boyfriend. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I had a crush on Hollander too.” It’s close enough to the truth. Harris is not going to confess that in the depths of his crush, he wrote fanfiction about Shane. And he certainly is not going to elaborate on all the plot points from the rare heart condition requiring expensive care in the United States to being sold by his family to Shane Hollander to cover the debt.| An adorable Harris-centric story. We need more stories about Harris, dammit! This is so funny.  I laughed out loud several times.

like puzzle pieces from the clay by @beautifulduckweed | 15K | The universe had decided Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were perfect for each other, so it sent them an unmistakable sign. Unfortunately, the two of them have a lot of practice in mistaking things. So the universe tries again, and again. Or: how many soulmate tropes does it take to get two oblivious hockey boys together?| This is soulmark trope and magical realism. Two things I normally don't go for...but IDK, there's a fucking goose and it's amazing. I mean, it's @beautifulduckweed, she had me at the Such Great Heights lyrics for the title. 

frequently, secretly fond of each other. by @milominderbindered | 223k | A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.| This is one of the most popular stories in fandom (over 1.6 million hits!) for a reason. So, yeah everyone must have already read it but it is now complete and I couldn't not recommend it. It's a Shane goes to Boston AU. Probably the best of them all. A true fandom classic.

An ode to Shane Hollander’s masculinity | 5.3K | “He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”| Interesting Shane characterisation. Lovely Ilya too. Good use of socmed.

For the Right Reasons by @citrusses | 63K | Coming this fall to ABC… MLH star Shane Hollander is The Bachelor! Bachelor Nation, we have one question: will you accept this rose?| The one where Shane is The Bachelor.  features non-hockey-player!Ilya. I was unsure going in (I have a hard time with Aus where one or both our heroes are not hockey players)  but the author is amazing and completely sold me on the premises. And they even stuck the landing, masterfully. Hats off.

HOLLANDER & ROZANOV ARE DEADby @eurydicees  | 13.2K | It is December, and Scott has been out for long enough to pretend to be used to it, and things are not perfect but they’re fucking good, and Ilya Rozanov is at his apartment for dinner—has been for over an hour—and he’s still waiting so stupidly hopefully to introduce a boyfriend who very, very clearly isn’t coming.| Confession time. When I read a story I like I bookmark it immediately and copy&paste in the bookmark my comment to the author or some notes on what I liked. Well, I didn't write anything this time, I must have been sleepy or in a rush and now I don't have the time to re-read if I want to get this list posted before turning in. BUT I remember thinking it was so well-written! And a story inspired by Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is just such a genius idea. Got to love fandom. 

Please Text | 2K | In retrospect, they should have called. Texted. Rang the doorbell. Heralded their entry with a trumpet. Something. But everything is clearer in hindsight, especially the sight of your father’s behind. Shane suppresses a shudder. | Ilya and Shane walk in on David and Yuna. Soo funny. Perfect voices.

in your arms i'd start a war by @justhere4ke| 60K | Ilya widens his eyes, moves his hands in an impatient “get on with it” motion. He has the urge to say it for him, end both their misery. Shane blinks rapidly a few times, takes another deep breath. “I want to stop,” he says simply. Ilya lets out one humorless laugh, “Stop what?” Shane ignores him. “At the All Star Game, I told you I liked you. And you said about Russia and your family. And I looked some things up. I get it. I get it better now. I know we can’t but I can’t stop wanting to be…more. Unless we stop.”| The one where they fail at communicating even worse than in canon and decide to become friends. This is more rom-com than I'd normally like, it's so well-written and of course you just end up rooting for these two idiots even though (or maybe precisely because) they are so stupid(ly in love). 

Wild Geese | 6.3K | A hockey player and the most beautiful man he's ever seen walk into a bar.| I don't normally rec stories featuring trans characters...because I'm very ignorant and I'm afraid of showing my ignorance. You know what they say...Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. This story though was so lovely and moving, I just couldn't not rec it. Here we have trans Shane and it is written with such obvious love and care. 

If it wasn't for that meddling kid | 138K |  Ilya stays in Boston, gets a rookie, and tries to figure out how to make a secret long distance relationship work while there's a Russian teenager in his house| This another fandom classic which has been completed only recently. Great AU of the canon divergence kind. With the most memorable OC ever (Pava!!!!). Lots of hockey which is always a plus (ARustySpork's author notes have been so educational and entertaining in equal measure for someone who's just recently got into hockey). Amazing characterisation, ofc.

Wins Above Replacement | 9.5K | Ilya tries to take on Shane's tendency to deprive himself by using ancient Chinese military strategy.| mcshurg gave us another banger, hot smut with feeling and character development. I don't know how they can do it. Every. Single. Time. 

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use--Ch. 10

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥.

In which Thaniel wakes and Halsin gets his first (not his last) fanging.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[lucylehane]

move over hudson and connor, hearing jacob tierney talk about workers' rights has me all hot and bothered 😍 It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[russianblush]

Best Lead Performer, Drama Series is....Hudson Williams!

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 9

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝘼 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨.

Phewf.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 8

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙨.

In which Karlach CAN BE TOUCHED.

This chapter is "cursed."

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[thewholelemon]

Six Sentence Monday

It's a day off for me today and my Batman AU is on my mind. I'm trying to finish the final chapter and give Simon some rest. It's been hard, mostly because spending a lot of time with Simon on the (metaphorical but also sometimes literal) couch is always hard for me. I feel a lot of empathy for him in these moments, and it's hard not to feel what he's feeling. But also, I want some resolution for him, you know? I want him (me) to know there's light ahead.

It's just, in order to write that, I have to believe that there's light ahead, and sometimes it's hard to live in that space. I trust there will be light. I just can't actually see it and I can't write it.

But, I have a draft. No word if it works yet, it will probably need edits, but maybe that can get posted soon.

In other news, I tore through Thirty Love by Tom Vellner and that was a true delight. Highly recommend. And now I'm watching the French Open, which is pretty great, even though I still don't 100% understand the scoring conventions. I need to spend some time on Wikipedia to figure it out.

Under the cut, some Simon thinking about Baz and also tags.

Of course, if he’s honest, in the back of his mind, Simon wonders if he might run into Baz at the Goat. It’d be cute, right? Very romantic-comedy of them. It’s about time the universe gave him some good fortune anyway. He stops on the pavement. He’s still alive. It’s possible the universe feels like he’s gotten his fair share of good fortune at this point. He pulls out his mobile.

We'll see if these lines stay.

What have y'all been up to? I miss you!

@alexalexinii @aristocratic-otter @artsyunderstudy @bachusekart @best--dress

@blackberrysummers @bookish-bogwitch @bookishbroadwayandblind @brilla-brilla-estrellita @confusedbiqueer

@cutestkilla @dohrnaira @drowninginships @facewithoutheart @fiend-for-culture

@iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @j-trow-95 @jyae23

@katatsumuli @larkral @larkthorne @leithillustration @letraspal

@manicmagicat @martsonmars @monbons @mooncello @musicallychaos  

@nausikaaa @noblecorgi @onepintobean @orange-peony @pato-roldnart

@palimpsessed @papierhaikuphoto @prettygoododds @raeny-day @rimeswithpurple

@run-for-chamo-miles @shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @talentpiper11  @the-beard-of-edward-teach 

@theimpossibledemon @valeffelees @whatevertheweather @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 7

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝙀𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙯 𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤 ✌️

In which lies refuse to stay in the shadows.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[bambicest]

it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever

[artsyunderstudy]

WIP Wednesday

Hello friends! You might have noticed I finally crawled out of my cave and posted a chapter and then promptly warned everyone not to read it. If you braved it anyway, bless. I am extending my arms stretch-armstrong style to wrap you up in a much needed hug. Luckily you won't have to wait too long for a conclusion, I AM posting the next chapter on Sunday. And it DOES offer ... something. Based on beta feedback, I think it's a good something.

Here's the least spoilery thing I could grab from said next chapter. (Which is a reasonable 5k btw and NOT another 13k behemoth. I swear none of the remaining chapters will be that long. Absolutely ridiculous.) (In my defense the 13k beast was originally two chapters that shacked up and made a giant angst baby.)

It’s warmer here than the rest of the labyrinth, but he shudders violently as the air touches his bare skin. He pushes forward, stepping through patches of dirt and grass to reach it. [Redacted.] What he’s spent years searching for. Years that have done nothing to prepare him. Nothing to shield the remains of his heart.  Everything hurts: his injured palm and temples throb, his empty stomach turns, and his magick screams inside him like a caged animal. It thunders through him, threatening to climb up his throat like bile, to burn through his belly like acid. When he glances at his feet, he finds the surrounding grass has already begun to curl and crumble. All the green withers.

Tags and hellos beneath the cut!

@stitchy-queerista @rimeswithpurple @ileadacharmedlife @aristocratic-otter @letraspal @whatevertheweather @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @raeny-day @shrekgogurt @prettygoododds @brilla-brilla-estrellita @ivelovedhimthroughworse @martsonmars @c0nsumemy5oul @facewithoutheart @alexalexinii @iamamythologicalcreature @supercutedinosaurs @best--dress @messofthejess @mooncello @bookish-bogwitch @confusedbiqueer @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @hushed-chorus @forabeatofadrum @noblecorgi @monbons @run-for-chamo-miles @valeffelees @drowninginships @talentpiper11 @j-trow-95 @bookishbroadwayandblind @the-beard-of-edward-teach @larkral @bachusekart @angelsfalling16 @blackberrysummers @probablily @leithillustration @ebbpettier @asocialpessimist @orange-peony @fiend-for-culture @jyae23 @pato-roldnart

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 6

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 . . .

. . . 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠

Baby's first frottage.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 5

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 . . .

A bulette and hook horror walk into a bar.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 4

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝘼 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨. 𝘼 𝙂𝙪𝙧.

In which Astarion is confusion and beholden.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 3

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝘼 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙖𝙮?

In which the goblins don't know what hit 'em.

As always, beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[jellousbiafrous]

Graves Grow No Green You Can Use - Ch. 2

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟/ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕟

𝙀𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙯 𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 . . .

In which a captive bear is rescued and returned to camp.

Beta’d by my ride or die @prettygoododds

[prettygoododds]

Thanks @monbons for the tag today! Your post was a delightful reminder that we have entered MerMay. I don’t plan on changing a darn thing, but now I know my feed will be full of mermaids and that is amazing.

This update is mostly for @thewholelemon , they kicked my ass into gear on Picket Fences and I am seeing the end of the tunnel. I plan on really focusing on finishing this up now that Ivye got a good run on it. So, this one’s for you @thewholelemon

”I don’t plot,” I state, turning in my seat when the music changes, antsy to get this show on the road.

“Fine, what are you scheming?”

”Why do you assume I'm doing either of those things? Which I’m not, by the way.”

“You have your ‘I’m about to fuck with Baz’ face on,” she tells me and when I turn to deny it, she’s staring me down like the spirit of Penny is controlling her.

Since Sunday is almost done in my neck of the woods, I’m just going to say, tag your it.