WELL
I GUESS I'M DONE EV TRAINING MY SWABLU NOW
ANOTHER ONE WTF DOES THE COWBOY LOOK LIKE AN EYE MONSTER
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Not today Justin
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noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@primreaperstuff
WELL
I GUESS I'M DONE EV TRAINING MY SWABLU NOW
ANOTHER ONE WTF DOES THE COWBOY LOOK LIKE AN EYE MONSTER
WELL
I GUESS I'M DONE EV TRAINING MY SWABLU NOW
I actually bothered to check this for no goddamned reason, and this doesn't appear to be in the book. There are two references to one thumb in a mouth, but never any Thumbs Christia. I didn't check any of the sequels though.
So to those saying it read like AI despite allegedly coming from 2015: You are (probably) correct. Definitely fake regardless though.
Also stumbled across the funniest typo while I was trying to find a source to check.
I introduce you to Tumblr's newest sexyman-- Fifty Shades Fred!
today when i was blocking some people as i often do i came across the blog of a christian zutara shipper reblogging a post featuring a gif of the scene in the new ATLA movie where zuko and katara save toph and calling it "a husband and wife protecting their daughter". probably one of the worst Found Family assignments ive ever seen. katara and toph have a two year age difference.............................
its so funny to me that people are still dying in the zutara ship war trenches on like either side of the ship. there can't possibly be anything left to fight about. and yet the fighting seems to be from what i have gleaned secondhand, alive and well.
Ship wars always struck me as so weird. Like... people take that seriously??? We're not just mashing our favorite dollies' faces together for fun???
Perfect alignment in my feed today
I think the only time the Youtube autodub thing has genuinely made a video more entertaining was when it cut off the right-side speaker from the audio then randomly inserted "daddy" into a video about the Mail Glitch in mainline Gen III Pokemon games.
And I cannot emphasize how much it was not supposed to do that at all. There is no dubbing at all in the original audio, just the BEEP BOP BOOP of GBA soundtracks, and the video is overwhelmingly in English. But this, according to Youtube, is indistinguishable from Japanese. Like the uploader actually had to change the settings on the audio to not have the autodub automatically and unremovably activate.
Because it was really just so important that Youtube step in here. Keeping the audio quality from being too good. Bravely inserting "daddy" into an explanation of which maps are large enough to handle a load of corrupted tiles.
(FYI the creator fixed it so the dubbing wasn't on by default so you might have to reenable it for D A D D Y)
Okay, so I do want to preface this by saying that I have absolutely zero hate for people who like creepypasta or people who like Tarnished Gold or the people who write creepypasta.
But like... do you understand how frustrating it is when you're reading a perfectly good suspense story and suddenly this random mass murder comes shit out of nowhere and ruins your immersion?
i like when people say that the universality of campbell's hero's journey only applies to western mythology/folklore. brother, i am going to hold your hand when i say this... it doesn't apply there too
Ugh god, whenever I think of that thing, I just think of this terrible emotionally abusive English teacher I had that simply adored the hero's journey. Like she assigned books that were explicitly built to replicate the structure, would make us ram it into works that predated it, and would wax poetic about how life was just like the hero's journey when she wasn't praising Stephen King, criticizing students, or evangelizing some weirdass system she had (which included a bizarre method of eating ice cream with a fork).
Incidentally, these speeches about how life was just like the hero's journey often included her talking about how she wanted to be the worst teacher we ever had, so no matter what we faced afterwards we'd think "well at least it's not Mrs.[redacted]". I'm not kidding, she was actually trying to put us all through the "The Road of Trials" and left us this guide on writing that she framed like this really important thing for research in the future. (Ended up putting it through a paper shredder page-by-page the second I left that school. Completely unnecessary but damn it felt good.)
And for the record, what I actually end up thinking is "I'm an innately horrible and incompetent person who cannot recognize what is good for me" because of how your buddies criticized and gaslighted your students every time we tried to complain. What you worked to install in me is an expectation that people find my questions and ideas annoying and a deep-seated fear that I cannot trust people when they say they will respect my accommodations, both of which legitimately makes it harder for me to ask for what I need. I was neuro-atypical and had an anxiety disorder before all this shit, and this just made the bad parts of all that a thousand times worse. That's the legacy you're leaving on students when you try to force them into Campbell's fuckass monomyth.
The worst part is that if she read this, or any other testimony from the other students I have no doubt she traumatized as well, she'd probably try to spin it to say that she was helping. Because I am doing better now, a lot better than I was back then. The innate oppression of the monomyth is that it frames torment and anguish as essential components of personal growth, while framing negative consequences of said torment or anguish as the hero's fault for "refusing the call" or giving in to temptation. This allows tormentors to claim credit for any growth that a person makes after their torment, because by the monomyth structure, growth can't happen at all without external anguish to motivate it. At the same time, tormentors also get to avoid blame for the bad choices or problems a person has after their torment, because by the monomyth structure, growth must be actively refused or fought to not happen after anguish. In short, it's an academic justification for the idea that being a victim of bullying builds character (and therefore we shouldn't do anything about bullying). I'm not even going to dignify that with the label of bullshit-- it's pig puckey. My personal improvement is mine and your personal improvement is yours. Anguish and trauma don't have a single claim to any of that, and neither do bullies.
Bleugh, sorry for going off on a tangent. The hero's journey just really struck a nerve with me and I find it heartening that I'm not the only one who hates it. Since everybody seems to like comparing this to soup, have a section of the Wikipedia article on the Hero's Journey that I found very funny:
Just because nintendo SAYS the Koopalings aren’t Bowser’s kids, doesn’t mean they aren’t his kids. You can’t have a bunch of kid underlings and NOT just instantly be their father. Even if it’s not biological…. BESIDES, it’s canon that all babies come from storks in that world, let the man just have a horde of babies because the stork won’t STOP SENDING THEM.
Maybe each koopaling wasn’t technically Bowser’s kid but little bastards that none of the Storks wanted to deal with so they dumped them at Bowser’s every time because they kinda look like him and so they can be his problem and Bowser just rolled with it.
… I mean why else would they have their own rooms in some versions of Bowser’s castle, their own airships and castles with their names on it if they ain’t special to Bowser in some way? Petey Piranha doesn’t get that kinda treatment.
You get it. You’re a keeper.
And, being Bowser, he probably doesn’t even question any of it, questions are for nerds. Except possibly how did “Roy come pre-packaged with sunglasses?” because let’s face it, he probably did arrive like that.
being Bowser he probably did a little doubletake and then muttered “That’s a cool baby…” in a sort of alarmed tone
I love late night thoughts cause why did my brain just go “imagine if Stan’s kidney landed somewhere in the black market somewhere and FORD is the one to acquire said kidney”
Hear me out, it’s not even for anything creepy or disturbing but rather to test for regenerative plants and potions etc. that could save people’s life’s! And ofc he doubts he could just be able to walk into a hospital and ask (very politely) for a kidney!
And once he gets said kidney he run some tests and comes to the realization of “wait a fucking minute… the dna is saying is mine which is not right. UNLESS-“
Leading to ford freaking the fuck out cause holy shit Stanley’s organ is sitting in ice in his fucking house and wherethefuckistherestofhisbrother-
At least he's one step ahead if he ever needs to Frantenstan this au
Oh my gods, this made me laugh so much. Imagine, Ford assuming that this kidney means Stan's dead and he prepares everything first to bring Stan back to life only to track Stan down. And. He's alive.
YESSSSS- you see the vision, like he has everything ready; spells, material, organs, and when he goes to find Stan’s body he is instead met with his brother not only alive but literally a state (or so) away from him. 😭
Of course ford just didn’t prepare at all to actually talk to his brother so after he arrives and stan’s alive they stare at each other for a while before ford says something like “I have your kidney. Would you like it back?” like that’s a normal way to greet your estranged brother
Stan: "Why the fuck do you have my kidney?"
Extra hilarious if Stan comes to the conclusion that Ford tracked him down to harvest even MORE of his organs. It's the lingering manic/unhinged ready-to-become-a-necromancer-and-fistfight-god energy Ford has going on. Doesnt help that Ford came prepared to preserve and haul around a body. So Stan is trying to inch his way to freedom while Ford's mind is still rebooting after finding Stanley alive.
Inevitably, Ford lunges to tackle a retreating Stan and they have a confusing shouted argument where Ford has to convince Stan he isnt here to take his organs (the opposite, he's already thinking of ways to put Stanley's kidney back) while also trying to interrogate Stanley on HOW HE LOST AN ENTIRE FUCKING KIDNEY. TO THE BLACK MARKET, NO LESS!!
The miscommunication brothers are alive and well.
Good post, have some poorly made memes
Okay but like… imagine Rico or some other ne'er-do-well or Stan himself looks at this and thinks "infinite money glitch." Steal Stan's kidney, get Ford to buy it and reinstall it, then steal Stan's kidney again, rinse, repeat.
(Ofc Ford would just GIVE Stan the money if he asked after a lot of judgy comments but Stan's too prideful to ask and also doesn't want Ford's lecturing.)
If you are a fan fic writer and you're alright with people making fan art of your fic, reblog this 💚
had a character chart idea
I did this but only for Bill Cipher/variants/possessions
Bro you are an internship for a financial institution wtf do you care
This is like the evil version of seeing a ridiculous Tumblr poll come across your dash and realizing you're about to take a pop quiz you didn't even realize could be aced. Except you don't even get those sexy sexy graphical transformations out of it!
Ah yes, the four genders:
Female
Male
Different American thing
Not telling
The more I think about Sock Opera in light of the Book of Bill, the more I wonder if Bill possessing Dipper had nothing to do with the portal and everything to do with the journal containing potentially intimate details of Bill's relationship with Ford and possibly helping Dipper bond with the guy.
First of all, the reason Bill gives for possessing Dipper? "You've been getting way too close to figuring out some major answers." He immediately clarifies that he's got big plans and doesn't need Dipper getting in the way, but, well, think about it.
Bill wanted that portal opened. It was instrumental to his "big plans" that a hole get punched in this dimension. And Dipper finding out the truth would have helped that happen, because if Dipper had figured out that the purpose of Stan's activities was to get Stan's brother back, Dipper would likely have decided not to try to intervene with the portal opening at all. He would have known it wasn't going to end the world and might even be hyped to finally meet the author of his beloved journals. Also, if Dipper was possessing the only copy of Journal 3 and Bill destroyed it, the portal would not have been able to be opened at all. Perhaps Bill had assumed he could trick Stanley into a deal using his knowledge of the access codes, but even if you assume Bill didn't think there was any chance that Stan would turn him down, that would still delay (not to mention endanger) the payoff of getting the portal open. However, we know that Dipper was not possessing the only copy of Journal 3, because Stan had already made a perfect clone of it using that magic copy machine from Double Dipper. It also seemed that Stan at least got the activation started pre-Sock Opera, and the whole house wasn't Bill-proofed (especially not the room with the copier) so it would be odd if Bill didn't know that Stan already had an extra copy.
So why would Bill want to take actions that would permanently halt Dipper's attempts to get more information on the author of the journals?
Well, you know what else was in Journal 3, as revealed in the Book of Bill? Karaoke night, when Bill and Ford got extremely drunk, Bill was potentially naked depending on how you interpret the lack of shading on his limbs, and they sung their hearts out to Disco Girl. Also the day before karaoke night, when Bill attempted to give Ford a birthday present by killing several rats in the shape of Ford's name and Ford was horrified but appreciative of the effort. And the day Bill showed Ford the last speck of his former home Euclydia, which we know Bill destroyed, and claimed "a monster" destroyed it.
Stuff that wasn't revealed in the Book of Bill are fairly telling too. Pre-betrayal, Ford talks about how he's always eager to hear from Bill and how honored he feels to have been chosen. Ford also mentions that he likes the dreams his muse (Bill) gives him because his muse says his favorite gum will come back in style (which is pretty personal). Ford is shown playing chess with Bill on the show, which he could have reasonably documented. Ford lists "William" as one of his favorite constellations (it looks like a triangle with a bow-tie).
Bill is shown to be horrible at emotional intimacy and deeply in denial about his feelings. The Axolotl, who is portrayed as analogous to the Abrahamic God, describes Bill as "SAYS HE'S HAPPY, HE'S A LIAR. BLAME THE ARSON FOR THE FIRE," which outright says that Bill's happy party-animal thing is a front and also heavily implies that he finds it easier to pretend to have done something on purpose than admit to what really happened. In the Book of Bill, he tries to play it off like he never really died and always gets his way even though he's actually involuntarily institutionalized and literally falling apart after reading some words from Stanley. He also tried to share his tragic backstory to humanize himself and disassociated halfway through-- not the first time he's done this, apparently, as he shares disassociating in front of a barber shop pole (colored red and blue like his mom and dad) for a billion years like it's a fun party story. Ford shares his guilt and misgivings about Stanley and Bill's response is to basically tell Ford not to waste his time on somebody he should have eaten in the womb and then make the conversation about himself. In the show proper, Bill possessing Dipper blew the best chance he had to hold the show hostage by making a glib comment about who would sacrifice anything for their stupid sibling (prompting Mabel to realize how selfish she was being and sacrifice the show to fight Bill). Hell, you could argue Mabelland as a whole represents Bill's approach to emotions-- he just painted everything with fake smiles and fake flattery, promising anybody who stayed their deepest desires as long as they never questioned too much or tried to move on from the place to face reality.
I mean, with all that in mind, yeah Bill is looking at Dipper and thinking, "This kid knows too much." But it has nothing to do with the portal or Ford and everything to do with Dipper potentially finding out about Bill's emotional issues and intimate moments with Ford.
But wait! There's more!
Another thing I'd like to mention is that Ford talks lovingly in detail about Fiddleford in Journal 3 (both in the official release and the missing pages in the Book of Bill). The laptop that Dipper was trying to crack (and Bill wanted to destroy) was Fiddleford's. Fiddleford is quite clearly very important to Ford, as Ford refuses to speak badly of him even after Fiddleford has literally started a memory-erasing cult and he frequently expresses to Fiddleford how happy he is not to be alone anymore. Bill had very clearly wanted to push Fiddleford out of Ford's life-- implicitly possessing Ford to break the snowglobe Fiddleford lovingly made for him, imploring Ford to release the axolotl Fiddleford offered as a companion even though Ford loved it, dropping hints that Fiddleford was unreliable and lacked resolve, referring to Fiddleford as the third-wheel hillbilly in a way reminiscent of a jilted lover... not to mention the portal accident, where Bill was at minimum happy to keep removing his exoskeleton to feed despite the obvious adverse mental effects it was having on Fiddleford.
And it's because when Ford has friends on his side, Bill's endgame is harder to attain. For one, it's because Bill is possessive. When Weirdmageddon starts and Bill has the chance to do anything he wants with or to Ford, the first thing he does is turn Ford into a backscratcher and use him as a fidget toy. Ford is implied to have no awareness that this even happened so he can't fight back or have a say in anything. Literally, in Bill's perfect world, Ford would be an object that only exists for Bill's comfort. Other people get involved and suddenly old Fordsy can't merely be defined by everything Bill does to him.
But also, when Ford is isolated, Bill is better able to manipulate him and the people around him. Keep in mind, the rift ultimately only broke because Mabel wasn't told about it or its significance, meaning that she had no way to know that giving it to the wrong person would end disastrously. Nobody knew of its significance except for Ford and Dipper, and the latter honored the former's request to tell nobody about the rift. Ford in turn wasn't talking about the rift because he had severe trust issues and Bill had been communicating with him to gloat, precisely with the intention of destabilizing Ford. Ford's decisions also get a lot worse when he's alone. The summoning of and subsequent friendship with Bill Cipher, brought on by Ford's loneliness and past experience with bullying, was the hugest mistake by far. The whole TRUST NO ONE thing at the root of his issues was also forged in the ashes of Ford's friendships with Fiddleford and Bill.
(If I can bring in a little fanon, I'd also like to point out how common it is for No Portal AUs to bring up how quickly Stan finds workarounds for Bill possessions that still allow Ford to sleep. Ford alone in canon immediately just jumped to WELP CAN'T SLEEP EVER UNTIL BILL DIES and stuck to it when there might well have been better and healthier alternatives available that he simply wasn't able to see on his own. Again, the way things wind up going in canon means we can't confirm if those fan alternatives would have worked, but I just find that interesting enough to mention.)
And Dipper and Ford obviously have so much in common. They both love Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons, they're both curious and scrappy and willing to entertain what most people brush off, hell they even have anomalous traits that they can relate to each other with (Ford's six fingers, Dipper's Big Dipper birthmark).
So if Dipper decided that he liked Ford enough to reach out on his own (as he ultimately did in the DDMD episode), well... that's a threat to Bill. Because we all know Dipper isn't going to stand for Bill's shit, or Ford's self-deprecation. Hell, Dipper and Mabel are ultimately instrumental to Ford and Stan's twin switch, as they distract Bill long enough for the two to come up with a plan and swap outfits. So Dipper can't know about Ford too early and seek him out. What better than to set things up so Dipper gets so distracted he stops investigating and then ends up with a red herring about the loony hillbilly being the author?
There's a comment from series creator Alex Hirsch that I don't necessarily agree with but do think is relevant as well. It's that if Dipper had taken the apprenticeship, he would have ended up like Fiddleford McGucket, because like McGucket, Ford sees Dipper as somebody who will say yes to him. I could write a whole essay on how that contradicts what Ford stands for based off of his behavior and how Ford isn't just an arrogant glory hog and yadda yadda yadda... BUT, if Alex Hirsch is thinking of it, you had better believe Bill Cipher can too. How likely is it that Bill saw how compatible Dipper was with Ford and, remembering how important Fiddleford was to Ford and how much Ford regretted not listening to Fiddleford, acted to prevent Dipper from becoming somebody who supports Ford and keeps him from being completely alone and disconnected from the world?
So yeah, tl;dr: Bill wanted to stop Dipper from finding out about Bill and Ford's intimate relations, and also isolate Ford by throwing a potential great friend off the scent.
God I love this site
Saw that Kyogre talks like somebody from the US South
Immediately thought of this