Mercurial Master

Just another Magical Heroes fan blog from a guy in Beantown. :) Update: Um, also known now as the Seafoam Knight, apparently. o_O Standby for changes to the blog, I guess?

[togrutan]

\_(ツ)_/¯

[princessandknightfanboy]

I’m not saying I ship this harder than any OT3 since Parker/Hardison/Eliot. I’m just saying that for Christmas Alison got a blue lightsaber and Rutherford got a plush BB-8.

[infinite-magical-recipes]

note to self

next time some shit happens, bring some extra memories. like. beforehand, go experience some random things and remember them, in case I need to feed them to an adventure.

[princessandknightfanboy]

Awwwww not again. :(

Tentacle monster?

[princessandknightfanboy]

brb kidnapped by time lords

Chiku Posted,

"it's kind of like that show "inspector spacetime." they need me to save a universe or some shit. what kind of species names itself lords of a dimension though. i'm named after a priest. autumn plz feed and walk todd while i'm gone. not sure how long it will last b/c time travel bullshit.

i will send recipes if i can find anything to eat, and if they have wifi in whatever dimension i am visiting"

[Point zero, WTF Tumblr, is this how reblogging works now? This is weird]

A) I never said "ancient astronauts". My hypothesis didn't depend on the aliens having space travel. And thank goodness for that, because magic would be even more effed up if it were responding to Time Lord psychology. (Shudder).

B) Todd, I realize it's a tough conversation to have with someone who literally coalesced out of the collective unconscious of a few thousand dreamers, but I think maybe you need to review the difference between reality and make-believe with Chiku. (Unless Chiku is like Bob from The Dresden Files, in which case reality and fiction aren't entirely separate things...???)

C) Have fun at your Doctor Who LARP, scary green mama. Try not to make anyone cry OOC.

[princessandknightfanboy]

(OOC: Millard would definitely post something cool for Bisexual Awareness Day. But while Millard is bi, I’m not, and any attempt I make to write something about this in his voice risks being all kinds of problematic. So just assume Millard wrote something clever and funny, probably a riff on Mythical Creatures Found in Matalorn, including Unicorns, Dragons, Velociraptors (found only in Nakeya), Dancing Swans (for when he gets to the part about how being a monogamous bisexual dude is not a contradiction in terms), and so on.)

[infinite-magical-recipes]

on recent events in Atlanta

I didn’t visit Atlanta for Princess Cynara’s grail tournament, but some friends of mine did. A great deal of misinformation has spread on the Internet regarding what happened there, so let me confirm what I know.

Princess Cynara held a grail tournament in Atlanta on the Fourth of July.

The Heron Knight and the Honeybee Knight both showed up to participate, but were barred from entry on grounds of terrorism and unsportsmanlike conduct respectively. I don’t know whether Princess Cynara herself or another tournament official denied them admission; you’d have to ask them.

After this event, princessandknightfanboy​ and a few other knights withdrew from the tournament.

As everyone now knows because of the news footage and the bizarrely high-quality multi-angle video on YouTube, the Heron Knight and the Honeybee Knight nevertheless dueled outside the tournament grounds. At some point during the duel they took a break to kill some void terrors moving towards the tournament.

The Heron Knight won the duel.

After the duel, the Atlanta Police Department asked Princess Xiān Jié, who was visiting Atlanta for the tournament, to apprehend the Honeybee Knight, who is suspected of various charges (I don’t know what they are exactly) connected to her recent appearance at a #BlackLivesMatter rally in New York City. Xiān Jié did so, and the Honeybee Knight went into police custody without resistance.

The Boar Knight, who was also in Atlanta to fight in the tournament, has been deputized to guard the Honeybee Knight.

CHIKU’S THOUGHTS so the weirdest thing about this for me is all of the crazy stories coming out of atlanta about what the honeybee knight said at the gates of the tournament. i’ve read about people saying she screamed insults at the heron knight, the tournament officials, the cops, or princess cynara. she didn’t. princessandknightfanboy​ was actually there and took a cell phone video, which i went over really carefully with todd’s help. this is a complete and accurate transcript of exactly what the honeybee knight said before the duel began. n.b. for those of you who don’t listen to underground hip hop, honeybee’s emcee name is trancephorm, trance for short.

live from Atlanta, Trance had a plan to battle anybody, but funny thing: I’m banned, yo! hopin’ just to open, now I’m a headliner why you gotta keep sistas out like redlining? here’s Kennedy Wake, and her problem’s the same every enemy quakes when I drop in her name sayin’ Heron is a terrorist’s an error like a heresy turnin’ all ya foolishness to rules like y’all are Pharisees I will not apologize for patter when I battle are you faultin’ me for droppin’ rhymes, or backin’ #BlackLivesMatter? if you will not invite us, then we’ll fight beneath the weather we duelin’ despite ya when the chitin meets the feathers our ordeal’s unconcealed: won’t refuse you the view if you’re amateurs with cameras or crews from the news yeah, it’s sad we’re hated, but this thought’s in my brain we some gladiators: are you not entertained?

tl;dr don’t talk shit if you weren’t there. and if you were there, stop making shit up.

[savetheprincessorditrying]

Oh geez Atlanta knights. Any idea why the Trancephorm was holding a sword when the Angel flew into a window, I mean, used it’s algorithm to pick her. Another fencer?

[infinite-magical-recipes]

she actually told the story live on sway in the morning right after she was knighted. she wasn’t holding a physical sword at all; she was asleep, dreaming she was fighting a shaolin monk in xian jie. the story sounded far-fetched to me but i checked with the princess and she says it’s legit.

[princessandknightfanboy]

Now for a second I thought Ronald there was throwing hella shade At the stinging Wuxia warrior of which so much is made I have checked myself and Ron’s still this otaku’s favorite mensch but I already had penned this from a busted red line bench If you’ll indulge me in a brief AU where Ron said something rude Then I hope to entertain you with some rhymes and attitude So if Ronald thowin’ shade at the buzzin’ lady knight He gonna wind up soaking wet and in the middle of a fight Cause if you come into my house an’ leave your manners at the door Then fool you best remember what I got this saber for I spent billion billion cycles trollin’ dorks and writing fic Then I shut down all the haters sayin’ Rutherford’s a dick I curated all your exploits and and I kept the record clear And you know I own your John Hancock and hold it very dear But you geek out over 8-bit games and Calvin slaughters Zurg While Rutherford blogs stuff we mostly find a bit absurd The Lion rides a pony while he hollas “Tally-ho” And The Dragon shows off sweatshirts at the latest fashion show We each find the path to glory that is burned in our soul It can be weird, uncouth or geeky man if that’s the way you roll But if you think that schooling punks and dropping rhymes is not a fight Then you haven’t heard Trance bring the house down every single night But the Angels are myopic and they cannot tell a sword From a phallus that is hanging from a new potential Lord So they cannot see a fearsome burning heart of womankind And they do not hear the hymns to glory ringing in her mind So a sister had to travel to a shining magic land So an Angel’d finally see, “Uh, there’s a weapon in her hand" She took the sword and sang a song to glory clear and loud Oh and then she fought an army to defend an unarmed crowd So don’t pompous dull and stuffy with a stick inside your butt Like a frozen asshole princess or rabid mangy mutt Do not throw shade at our sister or come bite your thumb at me Be accepting and supporting like the wise and mighty tree I am the damp and mighty Knight who uses napalm on the net And if you fight me I will flame you which will somehow leave you wet I hope my scaly brother Knight will choose to show a little class But if you disrespect our sister I will have to kick your ass It is only in my AU that The Serpent acts the fool I tell you here and now the real world snake doth reign and rule Perhaps I should direct my scorn to certain Georgian Knights But I think that Boar and Honeybee will set things all to rights

[artisticazurite]

“Shut up and dance with me!”

[ggoodbbyee-deactivated20170811]

OH NO I STARTED CRYING NO WHY

[princessandknightfanboy]

[Loud and incoherent expression of enthusiasm and approval]

[princessandknightfanboy]

Adam Savage, Demiurge. ;)

I think the entire show is filmed inside his Mystic Creation. Jamie is one of his servitors.

This makes way too much sense for comfort.

[flyandfamousblackgirls]

[thesummoningdark]

I don’t know what fantasy land Janelle Monae is queen of, but I kind of want to go there and swear allegiance to her.

[princessandknightfanboy]

Uhhhh, Rillian? That video you did with Janelle was flawless, as always, but I think some folks have managed to get the two of you a bit mixed up. :)

[harktorambler]

[notyourplayground]

dress for the regency au you want, not the job you have

[thepokeduck]

tacticalnymphomania

[princessandknightfanboy]

(OOC: Costuming)

[pinkissassy-deactivated20161012]

Bunnies🐰

[infinite-magical-recipes]

look todd, these uggbunnies figured it out, you and autumn will too

[princessandknightfanboy]

Sooooooo, it sounds like, with any luck, Chiku and Todd are going to be spending a bunch more time visiting Xian Jie. :)

And I understand that there’s something known as Mantis Style Kung Fu.

That could get... interesting.

[princessandknightfanboy]

((OOC - Silly Headcanon 1))

((A very short, very silly fic that will make sense to maybe a dozen people who know both IMG:IM and Be Not Afraid.))

- Time: Some number of years after the events of IMG:IM.

And the Angel said unto him, "Be not afraid."

And the Knight said, "Dude, how am I going to be afraid of you? A) we've met before and B) you look exactly like Chris Hemsworth with angel wings, a halo, and a welder’s apron. Who can be afraid of that?"

"Evildoers."

"By which you mean, what, void terrors shaped like Tom Hiddleston?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Nice."

"Thanks. So, kid, I have a question for you."

"I'm pretty sure I know what the question is, and we both know that there's only one way to answer it."

"True enough. Catch."

---

Somewhere in the desert southwest. A Knight addresses a gathering of his fellows. He holds something silver and brown in his hand.

"Thank you all for coming. I know the location is rather inconvenient, but I felt that, for this tournament, it was an appropriate setting."

The knight releases the object from his hand, revealing that it is attached to his wrist by a leather strap. Taking hold of the strap, he begins to spin the object.

"Before I open the tournament, I must ask each of you a question."

The knight hurls the object skyward, but does not release its strap, and appears to be pulled aloft by the force of the throw. He hovers above the conclave of Knights, holding the short handled hammer above his head, where it begins to glow with a blue-white light.

"The question before you, my fellow knights, is this.

"ARE YOU WORTHY?"

The knight hurls the hammer earthward, where it impacts with an astounding crash and discharge of electrical energy.

"Let the tournament begin!"

[princessandknightfanboy]

Y’all can thank Alison for this link. She ran across them in-realm, sitting around a campfire at a post-hunt feast.

I think this perfectly encapsulates my advice to those of us (myself most emphatically included) who are super excited about our various projects. No, I don’t have any particular Knight in mind as an analog for Cap. Just ask yourself if Steve would approve.

[princessandknightfanboy]

[Originally published November 19, 2010.] - - - Q: Do I have to kill the snake? A: University guidelines state that you have to “defeat” the ...

Well, that’s not going to help. Magical Heroes have a hard enough time getting post graduate degrees without having to fight Ronald.

[infinite-magical-recipes]

I’m going to make this quick

I, Prince Nakeya, have taken Ulysses “Lee” Hartwell, the Owl Knight, as my consort.

Though our bond is not and never will be romantic, our friendship is as strong and as important to me as any romantic bond might be. I don’t know if we will consort forever, but I know we will always be friends.

To any Shining Princess out there who feels pressured to adopt a romantic consort: I want you to remember that the consort bond is an American cultural construction, not a magical absolute. If your romantic or sexual identity (or lack thereof) makes you feel uncomfortable entering into a consort romance, please don’t change who you are just because you fear for the safety of your realm. Lee, Chiku, and I will help and support you nonetheless. We found a way. You will too. Don’t lose heart or hope.

CHIKU’S THOUGHTS behold. the post that launched a thousand ships

That is the opposite of the point!

go ahead todd, explain that to /mg/. i’ll wait.

[princessandknightfanboy]

Mazel Tov!

[princessandknightfanboy]

Lack of Obligatory Python

One small kindness of this weekend’s chaos is that it forestalled the discussion of the constitution, which among other things would inevitably have resulted in someone making the argument that magical forces distributing swords and crowns is no basis for a system of government.

[infinite-magical-recipes]

void calamari surprise

[princessandknightfanboy]

I don’t remember this battle as well as Chiku. Here’s what I did learn: Calvin and Arwen can lead my raid groups any time they want!

What I do remember went a little something like this.

The Ivy Knight got the ball rolling, “Seafoam and Machine, you’re on mob control and debuf. We need tanking. Who’s on it?”

Princess Clow stepped up, “Serpent, Wolf and I can handle it. We’ll try to draw some aggro away from Nakeya, Whirlwind and Velensberg. They aren’t spec’ed for that, not without Nakeya’s pets.”

Ivy responded, “Roger. Tanaroa and I are on DPS and healing.”

Then suddenly, “Leeeeeeeroy Jenkins!”

Everyone, “GOD DAMN IT FORD!”

So I guess we also learned that the Lone-Wolf Knight, despite being a mighty duelist, is a pretty crap soldier.

After that, things went about the way Chiku described.

[arwen-clow]

ahahahaha

I really don’t think I’m very tanky though. Probably some sort of DPS, or a debuffer (if you play the sort of MMOs in which that’s a separate category). Wolf Knight’s pretty tanky; he didn’t Leeroy so much as get tired of the raid leader talking and just decide to pull.

Also, uh, I don’t remember making any sort of tactical/leadership decisions before the battle? Though I’ve got about seven years’ worth of guild leadership under my belt and as such would be happy to lead your raids anytime you want.

[princessandknightfanboy]

Really? I suspect you’re being modest.

I was talking about it with Cal the other day. That was the first time he and I had fought side by side in real life. I’ve played a little League of Legends, and he’s been let me join some of his raids. I was mentioning that it was seriously good prep for real magical group combat, and we were both pleasantly surprised that there was another gamer in the squad. (Pleasantly surprised = you may have prevented a total party wipe. So, you know, kudos.)

On the other hand, that battle did end with having my brain sifted by a tentacled horror from beyond space and time, so my memory might be a little unreliable. Though I do know I’m spec’ed for crowd control and debuf.

Anyway, let me know what server you’re on. :)

[infinite-magical-recipes]

void calamari surprise

[princessandknightfanboy]

I don’t remember this battle as well as Chiku. Here’s what I did learn: Calvin and Arwen can lead my raid groups any time they want!

What I do remember went a little something like this.

The Ivy Knight got the ball rolling, “Seafoam and Machine, you’re on mob control and debuf. We need tanking. Who’s on it?”

Princess Clow stepped up, “Serpent, Wolf and I can handle it. We’ll try to draw some aggro away from Nakeya, Whirlwind and Velensberg. They aren’t spec’ed for that, not without Nakeya’s pets.”

Ivy responded, “Roger. Tanaroa and I are on DPS and healing.”

Then suddenly, “Leeeeeeeroy Jenkins!”

Everyone, “GOD DAMN IT FORD!”

So I guess we also learned that the Lone-Wolf Knight, despite being a mighty duelist, is a pretty crap soldier.

After that, things went about the way Chiku described.