If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous
“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone
Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”
It would take u like 100 years to major in everything
Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot
Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u
College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature
Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler
If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major
Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors.