#Vader swears his allegiance to a toddler and then doesn’t know what to do when said toddler can’t actually give him instructions#he’s a whole mess and Jango can’t even get rid of him#honestly he wishes it were a jedi at this point (via @adreamfromnevermore)
Jango decides to use the shortcut “Phone a Friend”! It’s questionably effective. The “friend” is Dooku.
Dooku sees the half-assed photo of Vader threatening someone with a red saber and goes “this is obviously one of Sidious’s ploys to fuck with me and/or a competing apprentice” and decides to handle it personally. He does not call Sidious about this, because that would be losing.
Dooku gets to Kamino. Vader is intensely incomprehensible. They have a big fancy battle.
Vader is just carrying around Rex on one uncomfortably metal-clad hip this entire time. The main reason Jango’s still alive, really, is that he has babycare advice, and tells Vader things like “You should probably put some padding in that sling, your armor is hurting him” and then Vader just. Does that.
Single Dad Jango is only not dead because he has Single Dad Advice.
The Kaminoans contact the Jedi Temple about The Situation That Is Vader, who won’t fucking leave, because apparently Rex will only be happy if he stays with his brothers, and so that means Vader must stay as well.
The Jedi show up, utterly confused about many things, but generally in agreement that this is an absolutely terrible situation and probably requires a council master to handle because, like… Sith. And an army. And Fett. And Mandalorians.
There’s a lot going on, is the point, and none of it should be handled by a knight.
The Jedi in question are Mace and Plo.
Vader has a grudge against Mace but he pretends he doesn’t because that would be so passe and beneath him.
Vader does not have a grudge against Plo. He’s actually quite neutral on Plo, for Ahsoka reasons, and mostly just tells Plo to go handle children.
Plo would love to play with the kids, but Plo is here to help Mace fight a fucking Sith Lord.
The Sith Lord is not impressed. He is actually quite busy, standing dramatically in front a window and holding tiny Rex, informing him in grand phrases and sweeping gestures that the universe will be his for the taking.
(Rex is busy chewing on a toddler toy.)
Jango is ready to just throw in the towel. He signed up for a lot, but This Bullshit wasn’t it.
Sidious still hasn’t received word from Literally Anyone about this.
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