Stormlight 5.5 novella in Nightblood's pov of Wind and Truth but it's only the chat between the honorblades with the most bat shit lore reveals in the most abstract and no time sense order of events
Jules of Nature
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
todays bird
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Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Keni

⁂
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@procrastisnack
Stormlight 5.5 novella in Nightblood's pov of Wind and Truth but it's only the chat between the honorblades with the most bat shit lore reveals in the most abstract and no time sense order of events
Me when learning about the game of Towers, a strategy board game used to teach warfare: "Oh, it's the Roshar equivalent of chess! How nice."
Me when I learn how it's played: "Deployment. Reserves. Terrain. Cards. Miniatures. This isn't chess. They're playing fucking Warhammer."
funniest line in the book, doubled by the fact it was halfway through an extremely important battle
Adolin Kholin saved an entire nation armed with nothing but a candelabra, trans rights, and the power of being nice. Character of all time.
Everyone on Roshar during the timeskip:
Kaladin during the timeskip:
My favorite pants ripped so now I get to add a patch that gives the aesthetic of when a cartoon character looses their pants and are just left in the heart shaped boxers
Second pair of pants getting the same treatment. Why do my pants always gotta rip in the ass
yo…. when jet breaks in the tea shop and accuses zuko and iroh of beinh firebenders….
do you think any of the patrons looked at zukos scarred face - obviously done by a firebender - and immediately think jet was an asshole? like
jet: hes a firebender!!!!
patrons, thinking about the backstory they concocted for zuko and iroh where their home was invaded by firebenders and they barely survived with their lifes so they could come and have a peaceful life selling tea in a city the war doesnt touch:
Jet: He’s a firebender!
The Patrons to the Tea Shop internally: You fucking stupid, sir? I think you might be stupid.
#if someone shouted something racialized at a food service worker and he pulled swords#if be like ‘yeah that’s fair’
He didn’t even use his own swords. He took them from a guard and the guards let him
atla heritage post
"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."
I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.
Rainbow trout!!
I'm reading The Murderbot Diaries (Network Effect, so, spoiler alert), and man, Murderbot's relationship with ART makes me insane. It's like, you're an insufferable asshole. You're my best friend. Saying that word makes me retch. You're the only person in the universe who could possibly understand what it's like to be me. I can't possibly understand what it's like to be you. I must look like an ant to you. I've put my unconscious body in your hands and let you alter it. We both love our humans to the point of destruction. You've killed people to protect me and my friends. You only did it because you were between two jobs and bored. We watch TV shows together. I saw you have an emotional breakdown about a historical drama. You could kill me in a hundred different ways. I've brutally murdered several people to avenge you. You were ready to kill all my friends to save yours. I've brought you back from the dead. You're keeping us prisoner. I'm your only chance of saving your friends. I've lived and traveled inside your body, and you've been a passenger in my brain. We don't even know each other's real names.
I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me.
This poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time.
THE SACRED TEXTS!
I forgot the context! It’s beautiful!
Clueless (1995) Dir. Amy Heckerling
I've got Rlain on my mind. I want him to be on all your minds too :D
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oh you wanted chocolate atop your boston cream donut? too bad. that chocolate is for the paper bag you stupud bitch
hey it's me black mold. thanks for running your window air conditioner all summer. whatever you do, do not regularly clean the removable filter. that's not necessary
you should also never ever unplug the air conditioner and stick a flashlight in the vent that blows air to see if we're in there. it's very bad, that place should not be checked
and whatever you do, if you've already made the mistake of unplugging it, don't remove it from the window for cleaning if possible. and whether it's possible to remove the unit or not, don't carefully disassemble the front panel, document where the screws go and plastic bits go, and open up the vent more to be able to get into it easily
as black mold, i'm an expert on this. you should heed my warnings: now, if you've somehow made the mistake of doing all of the above, you should not use warm water and dish soap to CLEAN the inside of the vent thoroughly. DON'T ever use a bottle brush to get into the hard to reach places. and certainly don't rinse and dry the cleaned area before carefully putting it back together
there's nothing wrong with us, black mold. we don't cause or exacerbate breathing conditions like asthma or other illnesses. it's cool, we're cool
furthermore, if you're capable of removing the window unit, DONT take a hose with the same soapy water and wash the portion of the window unit that sits outside the window and is therefore weatherproofed.
whatever you do, don't allow the air conditioner to dry before plugging it back in and turning it on again
and if you have a central air conditioner, you will definitely never ever consult a manual or sources online to perform a similar cleaning procedure on the cooling unit outside.
lastly, if you're physically unable to do the things we (the black mold) warned you not to do above, you should never ever ask someone to help you or hire a service to do it.
As much as I want to support ethical farming practices I will be buying the cheapest bag of frozen chicken thighs as much as the next frugal/poor person which is why animal welfare needs to be legislated, not left up to the invisible hand of the free market or some bullshit. Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats.
One of the things I like most about Kaos is how...different the characters are compared to how they're viewed in mythology. I've seen some people complain about it, but I'm pretty sure they were written this way 100% on purpose to hammer in the theme of defiance.
We're introduced to Dionysus being the wild child of the gods, but do you know what we barely see him with? WINE! ALCOHOL! DRUGS! NOTHING! He actually acts as a caretaker for Dennis for most of the show, and his motivation for doing everything is to take on MORE RESPONSIBILITY! And yet, responsibility and proving yourself doesn't seem like something the god of wild frenzy would give a fuck about.
Hera....the mother fucking queen of the gods...aka THE GODDESS OF WOMEN, MARRIAGE, AND FAMILY is having an affair (I know they all have affairs in mythology, but it's more about what's happening in the context of this show), and instead of jumping on the "we need to preserve the family" bandwagon with Zeus immediately, she's actively trying to get him to calm down and forget about the prophecy that will destroy the family! Not to mention, she's got an army of tongueless women who were willing to be separated from their families to serve her.
Hades, who is usually painted as an intimidating, stoic god of the dead who hates Zeus....is actually a tired, anxious middle management type who ends up rolling over for Zeus in the pool scene.
And don't get me started on Orpheus and Eurydice.
The only one who seems like his usual self is Zeus. He's still the same power hungry, malevolent, self-centered, king of the gods. And yet, the harder he tries to defy his prophecy, the more likely it is to come to fruition.