nap every day

questionable mortal. really old. likes a lot of things. twitter: @tsunbrownie

[prosecutor-blackquill]

NOBLESSE EP9. BLOOD CONTRACT / DEVOTE

“But the tea you bring me... I like it."

"I-Is that so, sir."

[rodrickheffeley]

licherally nobody is doing it like him

[ecchifortheplot]

[sindri42]

Context:

The lady is a succubus, which in this setting is mostly human but with superpowered pheromones that passively make humans aroused just by being in the same room and essentially drug people out of their minds if she touches them directly. [The effect is so strong that there’s an entire government agency devoted to observing (from a long distance) all known succubi to make sure they aren’t starting suicide cults or going on murder-rape binges or whatever.] This causes her a variety of problems in life; she has to get up extremely early and stay at work late to take mostly-empty trains in order to avoid being in a crowded metal box full of humans, for example. But worst is her nonexistent love life, because how can you ever be confident that somebody has genuine romantic feelings for you if you’re supernaturally attractive to everybody? Is it ever morally acceptable to have sex if holding hands is effectively a date-rape drug? 

The guy is a perfectly ordinary biology teacher, who crashed into her in the halls on his first day and got a huge dose of aphrodisiac. But she is a Respected Colleague so it would be Highly Unprofessional to think of her that way, not to mention how Inappropriate it would be for a high school teacher to do or say anything while there might be students around, and wait a minute wouldn’t treating her differently just because of her biology be Super Racist? so obviously it is his Duty to act Perfectly Normal and pretend that he Feels Nothing.

She sees that he seems to have no reaction, and this sparks her interest. Is he immune to her powers? Clearly this requires further investigation! For entirely scientific purposes, not because if he falls for her he’d be the first guy she could trust to do so for legitimate non-chemical reasons (and totally not because she might be able to bone him without feeling bad about it).

So you’ve got the world’s dorkiest succubus clumsily trying to seduce this guy and he’s trying very hard to drink enough Respect Women juice to make up for over half his blood travelling south every time he sees her. Then for added fun several of their students catch on to these shenanigans and they ship it so they decide to “help”.

[switch-up-snowfox]

you know I can respect that premise.

[daisydandy]

“Beauty Tahani wants to battle!”

“Trainer Chidi wants to battle! …Maybe? Actually, hold on, he isn’t totally sure yet. Trainer Chidi is debating the ethical implications of Pokémon battles with himself. It’s… taking a while. Maybe you should just go.

Trainer Chidi… has a stomach ache.”

“Holy shirtballs! Trainer Eleanor wants to battle!”

“Oh, dip! Trainer Jason wants to battle! “

“Trainer Janet wants to battle, and she can absolutely assure you that she does not have a Maractus!”

“Elite Four Michael wants to battle! (He’ll meet you in the dot of the “i”)”

[depsidase]

[r00]

no game has felt worth 60$ since games became 60$

[sharky-sharks]

Lush was selling these today!🦈

Text SHARKATTACK to 40649 and sign the pledge!🦈

[gluttonousgoddess]

or we could let an unnecessary danger to swimmers die.

[yourladyindank]

No the fuck we can’t. Because last I checked humans don’t own the fucking ocean, and last I checked, they’re IMPORTANT apex predators, a super necessary part of the ecosystem. Not to mention NEW YORKERS bite 10x as many people as sharks do a year. More people die from lightning and fireworks than form sharks.

Sharks aren’t a problem. They never have been. People are.

[jeza-red]

if you swim where the sharks are, it’s on you buddy, the animal gotta eat you don’t gotta swim

[gluttonousgoddess]

To @keyhollow let sharks die naturally, don’t go hunting them. Last I checked there’s no such thing as an important apex predator. Why on Earth are New Yorkers biting people? Know what we did to lightning? We found ways to deal with them. I’d say firework damage is usually from stupidity.

To @jeza-red so nobody can enjoy the beach now. The animal doesn’t got to eat innocent bystanders that are definitely not fish.

[yourladyindank]

I’m gonna ignore 95% of that and focus on the apex predator part.

They’re super important because they control prey animal populations, of prey animal populations get out of control it can heavily and possibly irreversibly damage flora, other fauna, and land. A keystone predator is literally irreplaceable

[gluttonousgoddess]

A “keystone predator” is nowhere near irreplaceable.

[yourladyindank]

Do you know what keystone means??

[gluttonousgoddess]

First off, calling something a keystone predator is erroneous at best. Second, keystones can be replaced.

[yourladyindank]

No

You literally just have no idea what you’re talking about.

https://eu.oceana.org/en/importance-sharks-0

http://www.sharksavers.org/en/education/the-value-of-sharks/sharks-role-in-the-ocean/

Sharks play a critical role in keeping our oceans healthy and in balance because most shark species are at the top of the marine food web.

The Importance of Sharks

[whostolemymonkey]

@miasmicsiren If you’re too stupid to read adult content, there’s even a children’s book on the subject!

[gluttonousgoddess]

Cherrypicking sources from shark apologists won’t work for you either.

[beckyhop]

Ah yes. “Shark apologists”. Those who defend the problematic behavior of *checks notes* preserving species and protecting the ecosystem.

[eroticcannibal]

Sharks aren’t even that dangerous to humans! Not only are shark bites PRETTY DAMN RARE, but they can be easily avoided by taking steps like not swimming where sharks are and utilising specially designed swim suits that prevent the sharks from mistaking you for food, and even shark mail, that stops their teeth piercing your flesh if they do bit you! You can learn how to drive them off in case of an attack and not swim alone to increase your chances of survival, should the worst happen! Sharks, the majority of the time, bite out of curiosity because they don’t have hands. Don’t look interesting. (Also they are absolute BABIES and you should interact them with the guidance of a professional if you have the chance.)

[f1rstperson]

There is a lot going on here but i think what i’m caught on the most is “shark apologists”.

[themintycupcake]

SHARK APOLOGIST I’m gonna fucking die. Sharks are problematic for fucking existing. Lord have mercy.

[esendoran]

fave tag: #I AM ABSOLUTELY A SHARK APOLOGIST

[transmxnfenris]

Reblog if you are a shark apologist

[i-feel-fantastic-deactivated202]

SHARK APOLOGIST

[inscrutablereynard]

@pragnificent made me a dirty shark apologist xDDDDD

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

We’re all paid shills in the pocket of Big Shark

[systlin]

I am infact a shill of Big Shark. They pay me in fish and seal blubber.

[lyladagger]

@morbidotaku We are Shark Apologists now. 

[screwyouandrew]

This is a pro shark propaganda blog!!!

[kiyotakamine]

munchlax is pretty hot

[kiyotakamine]

happy 10 year anniversary of munchlax being pretty hot

[tabaquis-barking]

Actually know what reblogging again bc the girl with the white ds knows what the FUCK is up and pink girl is either a dumbass or a scammer.

In DPP (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) sneasel shows up on five different routes, and then evolves into weavile when leveled with a razor claw at night. Razor claws aren’t hard to find either, so while there’s minimal effort involved here, weavile isn’t really special.

Munchlax, though? Jesus fuck. Jesus fucking christ. Munchlax in DPP is one of the most difficult Pokémon in ANY of the games—if not the absolute most difficult. DPP has a mechanic where you could slather honey on certain trees, and six hours later a Pokémon would turn up on the tree. Several of the Pokémon you could get this way were common, but some could ONLY be obtained from honey trees. You couldn’t change the DS system’s time to speed things up, because the trees ran on their own counter—so you HAD to wait six hours for a Pokémon to show up.

It gets worse. There were 21 of these honey trees in the game, and regardless of the tree’s location, and tree could summon any of the “honey tree Pokémon…”

Except. Fucking. Munchlax.

Only FOUR trees in the game had the potential to summon Munchlax. Which trees, you ask? Guess. No, literally, take a fucking guess—because the four trees that can summon Munchlax are decided at random based on your trainer ID and secret ID. There is NO way to determine which trees they are unless you feel like hacking into your game’s data and then doing some weird complicated math.

That’s not all. You thought that was all? You thought Munchlax was a merciful god that would take pity on your tiny, pathetic body? Oh no. Not even close. Munchlax isn’t done with you yet, Munchlax is going to peel you like a fucking mango and laugh while you cry.

Munchlax only has a 1% encounter rate.

ONE. PERCENT. As in 1/100.

So to recap—4/21 honey trees (and you don’t know which ones) have a 1% chance of summoning this little motherfucker once every six hours. That’s it. No fast tracking, no cheats, and no workarounds. Munchlax in DPP is the holy grail of hard to find Pokémon.

And pinky here has the AUDACITY to offer the MUCH more easily obtainable weavile for it. Fuck that. Fuck that!!! White DS girl knows what the FUCK is up!!!

In conclusion;

Munchlax is pretty hot… Try again.

Bitch.

[blueumbriel]

A Good Omens Concept: “Fairly Odd Godparents” where everything is basically the same but the wands are just useless accessories since they have magic but they just really want to be “cool” around their godson to whom is also the literal spawn of Satan, instead of that chaotic son of the ambassador

[minar-artwork]

And I’ll run into the sea, Follow this heart that escapes me.

[preshfinn]

dw x go

[grrover]

no one talks about how rick riordan literally scammed disney 

[grrover]

dead ass pjo was that seemingly “normal” kids fantasy series with a seemingly white straight kid saving the world and it’s a fucking success. percy jackson? iconic! ppl fucking love percy and his character and then hoo comes out? everyone is pumped bc everyone is in love with that world. the first book? two main bad ass poc characters. the second book? two more bad ass poc characters! the fourth book and there’s literally a gay character and it’s not like disney could say no. hoo ends and then there’s magnus chase and ppl are fucking pumped bc that’s annabeth chase’s cousin and in the first book there’s a muslim girl and by the second book there’s a transgender and genderfluid character. trials of apollo? a main gay couple in a happy relationship and a fucking bi character. could disney say no? no. literal 10 year olds are reading books with heaps of representation all published by disney. rick riordan played the game. you step in thinking ur just gonna get white cishets and you walk out surrounded by different cultures and rainbows.

tldr; rick started out with the basic pasty white and straight series which got hella successful and used his success to pusblish more books and allow only one (1) cishet and only one (1) white

[grrover]

i doubt he planned it but deadass it would be so funny if that’s what happened

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

I saw him speak on /writing in the UK right before (or early in on when) his series hit it big. Planned. Definitely planned. 

[runwithskizzers]

Thousand percent planned. Also Percy? Has a learning disability. RR’s son inspired him to write bc he is ADHD and dyslexic. This was all planned. He is all about inclusivity and representation.

[hurricane-eggbeater]

He just recently turned down an invitation to be recognized by the Texas state legislature because of of their new bathroom bill.

[thewellofastarael]

He also makes his books incredibly funny, which is rather rare for YA and makes them more accessible to kids who don’t really like to read. In addition to having loads of POV character who have trouble reading themselves.

For those who’ve been living under a YA rock, this is Rick Riordan:

(this was the gay character in the second series)

(and the trans character in a later series)

[meeshay]

Let’s not forget that he has an interest in the mythologies of other countries, but instead of writing them himself promotes other writers through his “Rick Riordan Presents” publishing imprint to do so!

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/kids/aru-shah-end-time-kicks-off-terrific-new-series-inspired-rick-riordan/

[gabsyferreira-deactivated202504]

Riordan is what JK Rowling wanted to be

[cadenlang02]

Riordan is what JK Rowling pretends to be

[valtsv]

just spent an hour making guardian angel memes for absolutely no reason

[valtsv]

[roshambaux]

I love this grl but I probably just love witch characters in general

[prokopetz]

Given the Good Omens TV show’s conceit of depicting Heaven and Hell as corporatised bureaucracies, it’s really entertaining that Crowley, who to all textual evidence accomplishes more for Satan’s cause before nine AM than most of his ostensible superiors manage all millennium – in spite of not really caring about the job, no less – has a demonstrated skill set that basically boils down to Evil Project Management.

[neetols]

Human hobbies 📚🎶

[lightsintheskye]

Area Demon Traumatized by Ineffable Plant Loving Angel. 

Comic Commissioned by the beautiful @pocketseizure(Please don’t upload without permission)