I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written a full blog post but I promise I’m going to get back in the habit of it (at least once a week!). This one will be a bit long but bear with me! It’s actually something meaningful I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time! I’ll give you a TL;DR right off the bat in case you don’t have the time to read it all, BUT YOU SHOULD:
I am so grateful for my ability to inspire others through my journey of self improvement
Having a form of spirituality has helped ground me and my thinking
Learning to be aware, present and let go of attachments and expectations has changed my life
TRY MEDITATING! Even if it’s just 10 minutes every day :)
You absolutely have the ability to alter your mind, think for the better and be happy!
I’ve been so humbled and grateful these past few days to hear people telling me both in person and over Instagram how I am an inspiration to them and have made a positive difference in their lives. I honestly never started my blog, Instagram and “goal-getting/ work hard/ be positive” mentality with the idea of being an inspiration to other people. I started all of this with the goal of developing myself to be a better person. I've been aware over recent years that I have many insecurities and bad habits that make me unhappy and stressed. Being aware of this made me determined to change and move away from these negative elements for good. I wanted to use these various communication mediums as a way of inspiring and motivating myself to be focused on my own goals and to better myself as a person both mentally and physically. Therefore I am beyond happy to know that my journey so far can have an impact on other people’s lives- even people that I don’t know personally! Seeing sweet Instagram comments and receiving encouragements from my friends are what inspires me to continue on!
Over the past four months, I am so thankful to have found my form of spiritual grounding through Buddhism. As someone who has always been a control freak, perfectionist and “worry-wart” (as an old teacher once called me), “letting go”, being “unattached” and “having no expectations” were essentially my mortal enemies. But this one particular morning this past June when I was told by my academic advisor that I did not pass Finance 1 on exchange (see this blog post), I came to the realization that I had two ways to deal with the news: cry about something I can’t change or accept it, let it go and move on. It was in that very moment that I also had another epiphany: if I always do what I have always done, then I will always get what I have gotten. That’s when I decided that I would not cry over spilled milk and let something like this define who I am. Instead, I decided to finally do something that was at the back of my mind for a long time: practice Buddhism.
Being a passionate yogi, Buddhism principles have always flowed around my consciousness but I’ve never done much with them other than listening to my yoga instructors weave them through our downward dogs. And so I talked to my Mom who is a Buddhist and we went out that day to buy my first Buddha statue. I wanted to dedicate myself to learning and practicing ideas that will teach me to train my mind, let go and be present. And guess what, one week later, I got a call from another adviser telling me that the previous adviser made a mistake and that I did in fact pass Finance 1 (PHEW! See, I saved those tears :) )
Since that day, I’ve gradually deepened my practice through reading Dharma books and meditating for 10 minutes every morning. It was definitely not easy sitting still for 10 minutes and trying to focus on my breath in the beginning. It’s actually so interesting to notice that as soon as I let my concentration slide for even just a second, my mind would immediately be bombarded by unnecessary (and some rather obscure) thoughts. However day by day, I started to see little marks of improvement and that’s what still gets me to my meditation cushion every morning!
The one thing about Buddhism that stood out to me is the idea that we are all capable of being aware and limiting our unhappiness by being present and taking control of our mind. It is through our confusion and unawareness with attachments and expectations that unhappiness occurs. But as with anything, once you identify the root cause, you can find a solution for it. I won’t go too detailed in this, but my key takeaway these past few months is that it is possible to change your mindset and the way you look and approach things in life. Nothing around you really has a form or meaning until your mind gives it so and therefore whether something “rocks” or “sucks” completely depends on what you choose it to be! This is the idea that I’ve been working with and for me, it has changed my whole world drastically!
I have always been someone so attached to the way things were and the way things should be. Through meditation and just the conscious effort of being more present in every moment, I have experienced a new way of living and seeing my life. The littlest things from making a beautiful breakfast in the morning to grabbing dinner with a friend suddenly became things that mean so much more than they seem. Just by enjoying the very act and moments of doing these things, the need for always thinking about the past or the future dissipated. My past was already enjoyed when it was the present and the future is something I can’t control until it becomes my present. So why go there?
To walk along this path of presence, it is essential to coach your mind in being aware. Being aware is about knowing what you are doing and why you are doing it. By consistently questioning my own actions, I began to develop the ability to tell when I was doing something that was adding value to my life and doing me good versus when I was doing something that was not adding value and even hurting me. Through being aware, I’ve been able to identify the many expectations that I have cultivated over time about the way things should be. And by being aware of it and realizing that these expectations are not doing me good, I’ve learnt to let them go so they don’t have the power to control or disappoint me.
Being able to let things that are not meant for me go is definitely one of my biggest achievements thus far. I now see that if something is meant for me, it will happen and if something is not, then there is nothing I can do about it. Understanding this has put my heart at ease because I know that as long as I do my best in everything I do, there is nothing more I should worry about.
This semester so far has been anything but easy. In fact to be specific, it has been and will only progress to be a bigger busy whirlwind of job applications, interviews, group projects, exams, conference planning, media designing, working and on and on. Yet I’ve noticed that I am still managing through it all, and am happy every day! Last year this same time in the semester, I’ve already broken down three times in tears and stopped going to yoga. Now, despite my hectic schedule, I wake up early every morning, meditate, work out or yoga, make breakfast, Instagram and proceed to accomplish the list of scheduled activities for the day. At the end of the day, I fall into bed exhausted, but feeling satisfied from my efforts and happy for everything I have.
I know this has been a long read and I want to thank you so much if you’ve actually made it this far! I just wanted this piece to illustrate to people that change is possible. I am in NO WAY saying that you should become Buddhist OR that Buddhist teachings is the solution to all issues! What I am trying to get across is that we all need to realize the importance of loving and taking care of ourselves, and that one of the first places to begin is with your mind. Things such as being aware, being present and letting go are not limited to Buddhist teachings but really are general facts of life that we all innately know, but rarely take the initiative to make a priority out of. Remember, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. If you are looking to make a change for the better for yourself, write down some goals you want to work on and set your mind to it. If it only takes 21 days to form a new habit, imagine what positive differences you can bring to your own life in just 21 days!
