Kat's Corner

@psychokatrixxxy

Kat | She/they | 20 | Omni | My little corner on Tumblr | Hyperfixating on the Batfam | Feel free to ask questions, share ideas/headcanons, or submit drawing requests

7,812 posts

Hi (* ´ ▽ ` *)

Figured I'd make an introduction post to pin to just kinda say what my blog is about. Thought that is very much subject to change without warning, lol.

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Call me Kat, is it my real name? Ha, no. This is the interweb, I ain't giving strangers my real name.

Pronouns are she/they, but I don't really care too much. I use dude as a gender neutral term, so you can do the same with me.

My blog is mainly centred on Batman related media (mostly my baby boy Jason Todd), but I reblog/post whatever I want. I post my art and occasionally writing.

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Now, some rules.

If you're transphobic, homophobic, or just a bigot in general, DNI

DMs: I might not respond because I suck at socializing and have anxiety over strangers, especially over social media. But my mutuals are always welcome to DM me, I like making friends, even if I suck at it.

Inbox: Feel free to ask appropriate questions, send in doodle requests, or just tell me a fun fact!

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Tags!

#katrixxxy's thoughts - random ramblings of a madman.

#batfam as dragons - it's what it sounds like.

#here be queue - again, it's what it sounds like, my tag for my queued posts.

#kat's gallery - my doodles and art.

#kat's library - my writing.

#kat's mail - answering asks.

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I also have a fic if you're interested...

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

#katrixxxy's thoughts #batfam as dragons #here be queue #kat's gallery #kat's library #kat's mail

DpxDc Idea

Bruce and Vlad freaking hate eachother. Its a known, very public fact. Bruce doesn't even slip into his Brucie persona to deal with Vlad, thats how much they hate eachother.

Danny is Vlad's heir, mostly against his will. Danny only says mostly because he did eventually agree to the situation, but only after Vlad threatened to make Dani his heir, which would tie her down and steal her freedom. So now, Danny has the "fun" job of learning how to run a company, and invest.

Tim is Bruce's CoCEO, and its pretty well known hes more than likely going to take over the company at some point. He already did at one point, he was already a CEO, he had a large quantity of WE's shares, and Damian, as he grew and matured, seemed less and less interested in being CEO once he saw all the paperwork, and morons Tim and his Father had to deal with daily.

Do Danny and Tim share the VladCo vs WE feud? No, its quite the opposite in fact. Everyone with eyes can see how fond the two young men are of eachother. As much fun as the Bruce v Vlad verbal brawls are to watch, watching Danny and Tim dance around eachother like twitterpated sparrows is even more fun to experience.

But, Bruce and Vlad are quick to yank the two young men away from eachother. And its heartbreaking for everyone to witness, and or read as the two young men are kept apart by their stubborn bosses.

Basically, Romeo and Juliet but if it was Corporate, Gay, and the dead guy is only half dead.

Haven't drawn in a bit, so take this...

#kat's gallery #red hood jason todd #jason todd #jason todd fanart #batman #i dont feel like doing a bunch of tags on this

the-thing-inside-your-closet

Something something Danny learns that Jason died and crawled out of his own grave.

Danny, to Jason: You actually got a grave?

Jason: Why? You want one?

He doesn’t notice how this could potentially sound like a threat from an outsider’s perspective.

The way Danny's eyes get big and wet as he reverently whispers, "You'd give me a grave?" only fuels the misunderstanding.

Can't tell what i prefer more

Runaway street kid danny who heard rumours of him crawling out his own grave and just wondering if there is someone else like him and getting the kindest offer ever

Or

Adult danny, hearing one of the protectors of the city he's taking refuge say, quite frankly the most romantic think he's ever heard and just swooning

Either way is extremely emotional and Danny is no in love (platonically or romantically) with red hood.

He's his, he claimed him, no one can touch him, get away batman, that's his undead now.

Just, an itty bitty Danny, tiny and malnourished trying to fight batman for custody.

Or a grown man Danny ready to propose, looking for rings and planing the murder of the clown.

the-thing-inside-your-closet

Throw in Jazz or Ellie, someone who knows about Danny

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today-”

“RED HOOD!” The bats descend on the scene before then. Red Hood and two other young woman are standing gathered around an open casket, the young man/boy from earlier laying inside with his arms crossed over his chest. He was still very much alive, given the rise and fall of his chest and then opening of his eyes upon their arrival.

tiny-space-platypus

Dick makes a noise of just pure and utter confusion as he motions at this red headed girl then to Hood then to Danny. Robin would cut it speaking with the bluntness of a plastic spoon. "Tsk, He won't have a mental health if you bury him alive."

This causes the younger girl to just laugh as she says something about as concerning as Hood agreeing to bury a kid alive. "It's only 6 feet of loose dirt he could drag himself out of there easily. Danny has dragged himself out of worse." The bats would turn to the smaller giggling girl with a look of horror because what the hell does that mean?? The red headed girl would turn to the younger girl apparently named Danielle from what the older one yelled. "Danielle! You can't just say that! Remember how Danny and I told you some things need to say secret?" The younger girl, Danielle, just rolled her eyes as both Hood and the boy in the casket chuckled quietly.

"Are you really going to make another kid dig out of a grave Hood?" Nightwing looked at Hood with an almost pleading expression. Which caused them both to laugh more though Hood did tense a little. "Just join the funeral, after him we're bury tiny" Hood just motioned at Danielle while explaining nothing. Danielle who just danced around excitedly. "I get a grave too!!!"

"Hood please, I- We don't want to have to restrain you" Nightwing would plead again as the read head just sighed. They were going to have to reveal their secret to get what they wanted. The red head looked exasperated at the heroes trying to save her siblings from what they think would be an awful death of suffocation. "You're too late too same them. They're already dead." Hood just nodded as the youngest girl just beamed at them. "Dead as rocks!"

The batfam clearly seeing both children breathing and interacting with the world and not dead protest against this till they notice both the boy and the youngest have stopped breathing. Nightwing immediately runs to Danielle while Batman to Danny. Hood and the red head just shrug to each other, guess they'll figure it out the hard way.

Neither child had a pulse, neither child was breathing but the girl was still grinning at them as she slowly turned pale. "Breathing is a conscious choice really, makes us look more normal" the girl beamed again still clinically dead in every way she should be. Batman was silent as he looked over the now very clearly dead and very clearly still boy in the casket, Batman knows what a dead child feels like, the awful stiffness, the cool touch, the loss of color and light. This was a child who died right in front of him without- Then hood tickled him. Causing the boy to laugh and react again though still deathly cold and blue. "You're going to give my old man a heart attack move baby corpse" Hood responded in an almost teasing tone.

Batman looked at the now moving and laughing child then Hood. "Explain" Hood just shrugged, "they already said the kids are dead and want a grave" Nightwing looked like he could cry causing the red head to sigh. "Giving them a grave won't kill them, just- it's a comfort I guess? Graves are important to the dead. It allows the dead a tether that proves they once lived."

After that the Bats sat at the funerals for both children. Watched them both sit in the caskets and held their breaths as the wooden tombs were buried. After 2 minutes the bats got antsy still thinking they were dying and suffocating down there. After another 3 minutes Nightwing was ready to dig them up because he would not watch 2 kids die when he could do something. Only for Hood to hold him back.

After another 10 minutes the bats including Hood were about to dig up the graves thinking they have made a mistake just for the kids to appear behind them. They laughed and smiled as the red head rolled her eyes. "Wow you look like you just watched someone die"

Aspiring Escape Artist pt 4.

Previous | Master Post | Next (to be written)

“So,” Danny started, ignoring how literally everyone was trailing behind them. Cass tilted her head to look at him, continuing to walk casually, also ignoring the group.

“What are the Dogs’ names?”

“Ace,” Mr. Wayne Cheerfully answered for the girl, making one of the dogs trailing the kid, who was trailing the group, perk up and stare at the man in anticipation. Damian patted its head, telling it to stay.

more on-base barista x ghost!!! thank u @psychokatrixxxy

Part 1

cw: teeny smut mention

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Weeks went by and Simon kept coming in to get his coffee but the jerk would not say a word to you. Not a hello, not a thank you, not even to tell you to piss off. It was irritating, especially when all you could think about was the way he buried himself between your legs and kissed your clit until you were in the verge of tears.

One day, it was pretty slow. Your coworker had gone out to make a phone call and you sat at the counter, sighing heavily with your chin resting on your hand. You were zoned out just enough to tune out the sound of the door opening and heavy footsteps approaching.

“Black coffee.” A pause. “Please.”

You look up and see him staring down at you, eyes unreadable. “Oh- right. Yeah. Name? No scratch that, I got it,” you stumble over your words as you shakily write his name on the cup and get to brewing. In your panic, you forgot to collect any sort of payment but Simon left the cash on the counter anyway. He observed closely as you got his drink made, head tilting a little almost like he was amused at the sight of you fumbling.

You finally get the damn thing made, cursing under your breath the whole time. But you manage to get the lid and sleeve on without spilling and you slam it on the counter, looking over at him. “It’s ready.”

He grabs the cup and just stands there, not looking away from you. “Y’busy tonight?” He asks, lifting his mask enough to take a quick sip.

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the question and you just shake your head, gawking up at him dumbstruck. “I’m…not busy, no.”

“Great, I’ll pick ya up at seven. Still got your address,” and with that he was gone. Just like that, you had a mystery date with the man you’d been swooning over for months and just so happened to hook up with not too long ago. The rest of the day was a blur, but the second you get home you’re throwing clothes all over your room trying to pick something out.

You finally pick something comfortable but presentable and you finish getting ready right at you hear a knock at your door. You’re greeted with a face full of flowers the moment you open the door, the petals tickling your nose.

“What the?” You reach out and take them, finding a maskless and sheepish looking Simon behind the bouquet.

“They were pretty, thought you’d like em.”

“I do. Thank you,” you glance down at them before leaving him standing at the door while you rush to get them in a vase before leaving. You exchange a few awkward sentences as he leads you to his car and drives out of the city, in a direction you didn’t know.

“You’re not gonna kill me, right?” You laugh nervously, glancing over at him and noticing his fingers tapping the wheel rhythmically.

“Why would you- no, I told you I’d never hurt ya. Meant it,” he glances back at you, his brows firmly set as he shakes his head. “I saw y’had a diagram of the constellations in your room when I was there. There’s an observatory nearby.”

You hum, genuinely impressed and touched by the fact that he not only noticed but remembered the details of your bedroom. “Right.” You smile and look away, a gentle warmth in your cheeks now.

The date was perfect, he opened every door for you and kept his hand at the small of your back as you maneuvered through small crowds. He didn’t hold your hand though. Because apparently that was too far but marking your chest with bites and bruises wasn’t. You finally got sick of the waiting game and grabbed his hand yourself, holding it tight as you looked through every telescope available. Conversation flowed easily and soon enough you were back home, standing in front of the door saying goodbye.

“Thank you. For tonight, I had a lot of fun. And the flowers are beautiful.”

“Yeah, of course,” Simon nods, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “It was…nice. Gettin’ t’know ya.” He clears his throat, glancing between you and your door. “Well goodnight.”

He turns abruptly and starts walking back to the car while you just watch, a bit let down that he just left like that. You sigh quietly and turn your back to unlock your door only to hear him speeding back over to you. He grabs your arm and gets your attention before bending down and placing a firm kiss on your lips.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow, sweet girl,” he mutters, kissing you again before leaving for real.

#i love this sm #this version of Simon is my favourite

Price's missus meets the guys in a bar. Ghost, being ghost, is not having a great time. He's always hated public spaces like bars, and tends to be a bit shorter with his team because of it.

Only, you don't seem to mind at all, smiling and responding to any of ghosts rude jokes happily. When soap, who's never heard of a filter past two drinks, asks why you put up with it?

You just smile, pinch ghost cheek through the balaclava and say "he's just being a little fussy. Nothing some food and a nap with mama wont fix."

You don't register your slip-up at all, despite the mortified sound ghost makes and how red he turns. You're more focused on taking chips from your husband's plate and wondering if the sitter is handling your baby well.

Turns out, upset ghost seems to act exactly like your fussy little baby at home. How embarrassing.

The team are driving home from the pub when soap nearly causes price to crash in his haste to frantically point at the sidewalk.

"Hey! Hey, is that the kid?! It's fockin' three am!" He exclaims far too loudly for an enclosed space like the car. Ghost, irritatingly sober, shoves soap back into his seat.

"No, that's not the fuckin'–" he pauses, eyes widening when he looks at the person soap had pointed out "oh shit. That's the fuckin' kid. Cap. Cap it's the kid."

The kid in question being you, the secretary they've all grown fond of after you yelled at price for spilling coffee on you before realizing who he was. Young, obnoxiously kind, with horrible humor. They couldn't help but be a little parental about you.

You, who's currently trekking through snow in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and a compression shirt. Price slows to a crawl next to you, and mentally notes to teach you basic self-preservation when you don't bolt. As it is, he rolls down the window "hey! Kid, the hell are you doing out here?"

You startle, eyes wide, as if only now noticing the car that is in no way quiet right next to you. There's heavy bags under your eyes. "Uh..." it takes a moment for your brain to catch-up "going to the gym. There's a 24 hour one near here."

"Yeah, six miles away." Soap interjects, having rolled down his window. He seems to habe sobered up upon taking in your condition. "You couldn't wait for bus during the day?"

You don't say anything, fidgeting uncomfortably with the strap of your backpack.

Gaz, who's been startlingly quiet this whole time, speaks up "the gym has heating. And a shower."

Ah. There it is. The sudden, horrified look on your face is enough confirmation for the team. They don't ask for your explenation, soap already shoving the door to the car open.

"Get in, kid." He prompts, and the team silently echoes the sentiment with the expectant looks they give you. "We're going to John's for dinner, c'mon. I owe you after last Wednesday."

Nevermind the fact they have already eaten, or that they were planning to pass out upon getting to price's house. You end up sat between gaz and soap, trying not to think about how nice it feels to soak up their body heat. That familiar banter from work starting up easily.

You also try not to cry when ghost sets a plate of warm pasta in front of you. It's the best damn food you've had in months. No one asks about what you were doing, if you need a ride back, why you managed to eat three servings.

It's what they do. Soldiers adapt.

You're given fluffy blankets that smell only a bit like they've been dormant in a closet for too long, shown to a guest room. You wait for them to tell you when you'll have to leave. Maybe in the morning, maybe they'll drive you to work.

Weeks later, still john doesn't tell you to leave. Not that you know it, but he wouldn't let you if he tried. Who would handle all his paperwork if his favorite secretary froze to death?

You're stuck with them, whether you like it or not.

People don't believe you when you tell them ghost is your boyfriend.

Because really, you? The overly emotional secretary who cried in the middle of the messhall because a higher-up got a bit upset you messed up some papers? Really?

Ghost, the guy who drops men without guilt, who hurts and takes like second-nature. No one's ever even seen you two together.

"Yeah! Me an' ghost actually went there last week," you're in the middle of telling the guy at your table when he asks about some restaurant, only to be interrupted by his scoff.

"Could you quit with that? It's childish and weird."

"...what?" You ask, genuinely a bit confused. You glance at the others at the table, trying to figure it out, but they just nod along like it's obvious "quit what?"

"Stop pretending you and the lieutenant are dating. It's fuckin' weird. As if he would want to date someone like you." The soldier replies with a laugh, the rest of the able chuckling too.

The lump in your throat comes before the sting in your eyes. You liked hanging out with these people, you thought they were nice. "Like...like me?"

"Yeah. A crybaby. I mean, no offense you can't really control it," the guy continues, waving a hand as if he's making light conversation "but doesn't that take a toll? Can't imagine ghost tolerates it."

"...crybaby?" That....that hurts. You couldn't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks in fat droplets if you tried. Tears only earning a chuckle from the table, as if proof of their words. You...you knew you were emotional, but ghost insisted he didn't mind. You weren't actually bothering him, right?

Hands shaking, you stand from the table, appetite completely gone.

Just as you turn to flee, you run right into someone. Large, warm hands catch you before you can stumble, and– oh. You recognize those hands.

"Hey lovie, I was just looking for you." Ghost says a little too loud, then leans in to whisper "you okay? Wots wrong, dove?"

You sniffle, trying to hide in ghost, face burning in humiliation "nothing. Just being dramatic."

"Mhm." Ghost hums, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your neck. You don't see it, but the glare he sends to your table is deadly. Three careers just ended with a single look. "Why don't you eat lunch in my office? Hm, love?"

Ghost never lets you into his office, probably because you always distract him. He can obviously tell how upset you are.

You don't get a word out before he's pulling you close to his side and practically herding you out if the mess hall. While you snuggle with him in his office, your show playing on his phone, he absently writes transfers for those soldiers. Out far away in a base doing paperwork all year. An extremely generous outcome, if you ask him.

The concept of parrot!reader seeing ghosts face for the first time...

You've had a crush on your lieutenant for....well, for as long as you've known him. Since he stopped your wing from getting ripped off in battle, all strength and blood and dirt.

So of course the first time you see his face is a big deal. Your man, though you've yet to tell him that, never shows his face. The others tell you he's a bit rough looking, even ugly, and to be nice about it when he finally decides to eat around you.

Then it happens. Middle of a secluded dinner with the team in some empty meeting room, ghost tugs his mask off with a "christ, johnny, what'd you make today?" All forced casualness, but he's glancing at you.

And...and ghost looks good.

You're not sure what you expected, but god does he look good. Pretty lashes, a strong nose, scars all over his face. It makes the little bird inside you perk up, makes your wings flare in interest.

You need to do something now. You need to tell ghost how you feel, you have to. You're instincts are screaming, you—

You gag.

Oh shit, that is not the instinct to have right now–

Everyone turns to you, thoroughly misinterpreting the meaning behind your gag, hand covering your mouth so you don't embarrass yourself anymore. Ghost looks like you physically stabbed him.

"What the hell, sergeant?" Price is already standing, but you can't respond, mind still focused on your handsome mate that you need to impress. Gaz leans over to whisper in ghosts ear, comfort maybe. Ghost pulls back on his mask–

You flee before you can fully embarrass yourself, face burning in humiliation.

#parrots regurgitate as a courting thing!! cool huh?#anyways reader is a boyfailure who will absolutely vom over a crush lol #<< op tags #someone please tell Simon that the gagging is a compliment 😭#here be queue

Now imagine price bringing home you, a cute young thing he found at the bar on leave, right?

And the first thing you say when you walk in is "john!! You didn't say you had a dog!!"

Price...definitely doesn't have a dog.

"Oh he's just so cute! Look at him!!" You completely miss his confused grunt, practically wagging your own non–existent tail when you kneel on the hallway floor and begin petting a very confused golden retriever.

A golden retriever who looks suspiciously identical to ghost, a dog shifter.

"What a good boy! John when did you get him? He's huge–" you keep going, scrubbing your hands along ghosts coat.

The entire time, price and ghost stares at each other in a stand–off. Ghost definitely shouldn't be in price's house, but he also is still hoping to take you to bed, and revealing ghost would probably ruin that....

Which is how price ends up pretending he does actually own a dog. Ghost is shockingly receptive to pats and baby talk when it's from you, even climbing into your lap excitedly. You absolutely love him.

....the only downside being ghost now knows what his captain sounds like in bed. Honestly, nothing compared to when he walked in on soap and gaz once.

"I'm pregnant!" Phantom yells inside a crowded, Justice League meeting.

Now, objectively, Danny is a teenage, biological male and ghost. While he might— emphasis on might— be able to manipulate his ghost form to create a few appearance changes, he can't make an entire organ.

Also, that would mean ghost periods and whatever. He's going to save that for human health class because he would rather die (again) than go to Frostbite about this hypothetical ovary.

So, theres no logical way for him to pop out a McDonalds toy from his Happy Meal. Or however people allude to childbirth.

psychokatrixxxy

Danny: I cannot admit to this being a lie. I must become a father now.

Peter Parker meets batfam fics are funny to me because I think it’s bold of y’all to assume the batfam wouldn’t take one look at Peter, decide “oh that’s just a tim who still holds childhood innocence and wonder” and adopt him straight on the spot

Peter: *in Gotham for the first time* oh my gosh! *snaps photos* these buildings are so interesting! Bruce: *watching wearily* interesting? This thing is crumbling. Peter: exactly. Very good photo opportunities. Bruce: hmm.

Peter: *scarfing down the batburger Jason bought him* this is really good! Haha I just wish I had a coffee to go with it, I have a lot of studying to do tonight. Jason: *eyes narrow under helmet* coffee? Peter: *completely blazing past* so anyway are you like, the Friendly Neighborhood Crime Lord or—

Peter: *goes on long-winded chemistry rant* Damian: *staring* it’s like . . . . Jason: *leaning over to Damian* yeah. It’s like reading a translated book where everything is just slightly off but still similar enough to make you squint Damian: that is not the analogy I would have chosen, but okay Jason: hey as long as it continues to be chemistry and not technology. One of those I can handle moderately well. The other still sounds like gibberish. Damian: *raises brow* Jason: okay, yeah, I have no clue what he’s saying

they just bring Peter to the manor one day and are like “hey Tim, here’s your twin from another universe. Corrupt him with coffee addiction, murderous tendencies or general jadedness and we’ll announce Red Robin is going to finally address the copyright infringement allegations against that burger franchise”

You know ghost is mean, that's nothing new, but recently he's been...mocking you.

It's embarrassing and humiliating in a way you can hardly describe, every comment making you feel like you're back in school with those mean teenage boys.

"You look good today, sweetheart." He tells you when you walk past him in the hallway. Ghost's eyes crinkle in amusement at his own joke, flicking down to your stained sweatshirt because your washing machine decided to break.

God, it shouldn't affect you but it does. Like a slap in the face, ghost seems intent on reminding you that you'll never receive any real compliments. Just the joking "I like yer perfume, love. Makes you smell nice." That has you applying your mildest cologne the next week.

"Sight for sore eyes, dove." Ghost tells you, hands brushing over the sleeves of your uniform. He loves embarrassing you, it seems.

Your final straw happens in the mess. You've been keeping an eye on ghost as he talks with his team, the whole table occasionally looking at you.

Finally, he approaches, throwing one last grin at his mates before asking you "wanna go out with me, birdie? Date to a nice restaurant?"

Humiliation, red and hot flushes over you at his comment, glancing around ghost to see the way his team smiles at his back. You purse your lips, and try to stop tears from falling as you ask "why, do you have to he so mean, ghost?"

"...wot." he asks, stiffening.

"It's cruel to play with my emotions! I know you're mocking me, ghost, you're not subtle. The– the least you could do is not humiliate me in front of half the base!" You cry, waving your hand hysterically.

Before ghost can even reply, you continue "I know I'm ugly! And undesirable! And a fucking easy target! Just– stop! Stop. Leave me alone."

You storm out of the mess, everyone's eyes on you. You ignore ghost calling your name, blood rushing in your ears.

Back in the mess, ghost feels like he might throw up. The person he's been so fucking infatuated with thinks he's been mocking them.

All ghost wanted was you. He's not sure how to fix this.

psychokatrixxxy

Rommy, how dare you 😭

And you know the rest of the squad is just as confused as Ghost. They all thought the flirting was going well :(

Now imagine Damian viewing Jason as some sort of myth or folkhero. Like 'They say the dead man who crawled out of the Lazarus Pit, wields swords of fire and revenge, and is an unstoppable killing machine is a force to be feared.'

And then Dami just gets to the manor to see Jason upside down in an arm chair reading To Kill A Mockingbird in a matching wonder woman pajamas set with fucking reading glasses.

no actually you fucking know what? you're 100% right and i want it to be worse than that. i want this shit to be like king and saitama from one punch man.

i want jason to be MASSIVELY feared in the loa. i want nothing but respect for his skills. he has the All Blades, he beat DEATH, he gained ra's and talia's approval overnight; he's literally the only non-biological heir to the loa, THAT'S how good he must be.

mean-fucking-while jason is literally just a supremely traumatised mentally-fifteen year old stuck in a body-builder's body. he has no idea what to do with these swords. he jumps at every corner he turns. after what happened with being robin he is DONE with the whole fighting/vigilante thing; the only times he's ever apparently shown power is when he's blacked out from pit rage and overcome his opponents from sheer subconscious terrified desperation. he doesn't fucking know why everybody around him thinks he's so infallible, but he sure as shit isn't brave enough to dispute those claims while in the LEAGUE of ASSASSINS.

enter damian, the real heir. born and raised to fight and takes that role with precision and pride. he can defeat all of his tutors with one arm tied behind his back and only holds back ever so slightly during training so that talia doesn't up his workload because that boy is TIRED. he's the only one that knows how clueless and uninterested in fighting jason is, because on one occasion after being introduced to the so called 'chosen heir', the two got accidentally locked in somewhere with a bunch of members of a rival group, and damian got to watch as jason shrieked 'NO PLEASE I DONT WANT TO ANYMORE' and ducked behind a table while he went out and defeated all their opponents with ease.

damian stays silent on his new brother's weakness because. well because that's his new brother. jason may not want to fight but he's still the only nice one at the loa. only one that will read to him and talk to him like a human being. damian likes jason, and so he decides to protect jason's reputation.

what we end up with is a damian that spends all day listening to people blow smoke up jason's ass while he hums along, agreeing that he 'should be more like akhi', and then when there's an emergency and ra's sends jason on a tough mission alone damian will sneak out and drop down next to the supremely freaked out jason like 'wanna go to a cafe while i deal with this?' and give jason the credit afterwards.

it gets harder when they go to gotham, because jason accidentally got mistaken for a crime lord (he was wearing a helmet for protection and stumbled into the middle of a shoot out, where a bullet ricocheted off the helmet and killed a major gang leader which jason then accidentally inherited) and after bruce found out about the 'red hood' he started going all in on the guy, and like. jason did not want to deal with family bullshit. nu-uh. he wants anonymity. he wants to stay in a dingy 1 bed apartment reading books, cooking, and occasionally meeting up with damian for milkshakes. fuck the waynes, he does not have the mental capacity to deal with that. and damian KNOWS this, and he also knows that if batman continues to full on investigate jason's version of red hood he WILL fully realise what happened and then find out jason's identity. so. to protect his brother. damian starts double-timing both as red hood AND robin.

he's fuckin. making jason show up once a week on a rooftop as a mascot while sneaking around doing all the ACTUAL work of taking over the alley specifically to create a distraction from who jason actually is for bruce. jason is just glad his helmet is mechanised because it means all he has to do is nervously stand there while damian watches through the camera feed four blocks away and speaks for him via the speakers.

eventually tim manages to clock that the only thing he's ever actually seen red hood physically do is stand still or run away from a fight, and then he clocks that all the victims of 'the red hood' talk about a tiny little shadow demon that hood sends to do his dirty work. he confronts damian about it and damian's just straight-faced 'look he is skittish and if you ruin this for him i will murder you.'

so then it's just jason tiredly wishing he would stop stumbling into vigilante shit while damian hides around the corner and handles it for him and red robin is stood beside batman listening to all this bullshit like. so unbelievably unimpressed with his brothers.

"I don't know how to drive!"

"What? How do you not know how to drive?!"

"I died at fourteen!" He yelped out, hitting the gas despite Spoiler gripping the handles from the roof. "You can't get the license in my ghost world!"

"I'm going to die. This is the stupidest way of dying, oh my god—"

"Focus, you two! We have bigger issues than how legal this is!" Harper snapped, holding down the bandages to Duke's shoulder.

"Do I need to sing the Dumb Ways to Die song to make you understand—!"

Danny made a sharp turn, the wheels of a Honda Civic squealing against the rain slicked Gotham pavement. Spoiler screamed. Signal groaned.

"Stephanie! Shut up!"

"Your name is Stephanie? What are you, a 2000s mean girl?"

"Thanks, Bluebird, now Little Freshman Boy knows my name!"

"Hey!" Danny squawked, trying to keep his eyes on the road and not run into anything on the empty streets. The bullets had stopped spraying a couple boulevards before, but he still drove like a madman.

"If he doesn't crash us on a power line, Batman will string your organs on one for that!"

"What the fuck?!" Phantom cried out at that, horrified. When he had come to Gotham to stop the Guys in White from expanding, he hadn't really planned to get involved with the Bats.

Or a gang war, for that matter.

"Great, now you're fear mongering the child! The one who's driving, if I may add!"

"I'm not a chil—"

"Yes, you are," came the chorus from all of them, even from Signal's clenched teeth.

"Where do I turn?" Danny asked instead, weaving through side streets and ignoring signs he wasn't even trying to read.

"Next stop sign, Shortstuff." Bluebird replied, trying to reposition herself to continue giving first aid to a semi-conscious Duke.

"I'm going to crash us on purpose for that—"

"The hell you are! I will toss your scrawny ass out the window, so help me god." Steph shrieked, blonde hair frizzy and nose bloody. Danny was 67% sure she had gotten a concussion earlier.

"Calm it, Britney Spears—"

"It's Stephanie!"

"Same thing!" Danny hit the breaks as they came skidding up to an average, squat apartment complex with billboards shining down. The whole car rocked with momentum. "Sorry," the ghost said, mildly apologetic.

"I," Bluebird said, exhaling heavily and shakily after a moment of still silence, "am never going on a patrol with you guys again."

Duke gave a pained groan of agreement from where he had fallen in between the seats.

Phantom's grip was white-knuckled on the steering wheel as he slowly turned his head towards Spoiler. "So, uhm, did I pass my driving test, teach?"

"I'm going to be sick," was all Stephanie moaned as she fumbled out of the beaten-up car door and onto the wet ground below.

"Don't lay on the concrete, you're going to get stabbed by a used needle." Bluebird called out from the shot-through window, swinging her door open as well and hauling out Signal.

"I'm a Gothamite, my mortal coil can't be harmed by that."

"Can your 'mortal coil' help me with this mortal injury?"

Stephanie and Harper both linked their arms underneath Duke's armpits, helping him into the apartment complex. Danny locked up their (stolen) car, only one light blinking when he did.

The two of them were still bickering as he hurried inside, wiping his palms of the blood that came from various scratches all over his hands. "Look, your unresolved romantic tension is cute, but can we focus on getting making sure the Traffic Cone of Justice doesn't die?"

"Oh, Dick is going to love this one," Stephanie grumbled as they pushed the button for the 3rd and final floor.

"Steph." Bluebird hissed, trying to punch her while still supporting Signal.

"I'm a minor! I don't want dick! And I'm straight!"

"No, not like— Oh ew. No! We have a friend named Dick."

Bluebird only gave him a raised eyebrow at the straight comment, and a once-over to his costume. "You sure 'bout that?"

"You guys are insane," Was all Danny could manage as the elevator gave a cheerful ding.

"Oh yes, and you're mister Psychologically Stable over here."

He was then unable to say much more as Spoiler dropped half of Signal onto him and ran towards one of the doors, banging on it with her fist.

Danny was about to ask, half-hysterically, about if this wasn't their apartment but the door swung open. A scarred man with a rumpled t-shirt and sweatpants loomed over the four teens.

"What," the dead man growled, "the fuck are you doing here. And who the hell is he?"

Phantom's brain, malfunctioning from the adrenaline rush and in genuine shock of another sorta halfa, blurted, "You're dead?"

All eyes slowly turned onto him like a horror movie.

"Oops."

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