Witchy Vibes

[puffpuffthedragon]

I used to dream that I belonged among the stars

[secifosseluce]

quick, tell me the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten. my doctor told me i have impeccable eardrums 

[drakatzen]

my dentist once told me (in an appreciative tone) that i have huge neanderthal-like canine teeth

[secifosseluce]

oh i AM losing my mind over this 

[78nanosieverts]

I have frequently had doctors complain to me that I have tiny ear canals and like

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information besides apologize for providing a subpar patient experience?

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

When I had surgery, the anesthesiologist had me open up my mouth so they could “see what they were working with” when they intubated me and they were like “oh nice, lots of room! [assistant] come look!” And the assistant came to look down my throat and was like “nice” 😂

[yidquotes]

My wife, when we were first dating, told me I reminded her of a walrus, you know, a really pretty one.

[physticuffs]

a dancer once told me i had beautiful achilles tendons. (they are v long, i think. i have always been able to squat with my feet flat on the floor with no practice, which is unusual for americans.)

my doctor told me that my blood pressure is excellent, like yes i’m young and healthy but i have blood pressure out of a medical textbook, and i told my mom that and my mom said oh yes, you have genetically perfect blood pressure. you inherited it from my side of the family.

[despazito]

A mortician told me my skintone is so pale I’d be a pain in the ass to embalm

[eusociality]

A yoga instructor complimented me on having “stretchy hips” - I’m not overall flexible I just apparently accidentally trained myself to be a master of all hip opening yoga poses by sitting in the weirdest ways possible at home.

[ehlbee]

My sonographer exclaimed that I have “the cutest little uterus” while giving me an ultrasound.

[pastrygeckos]

I once went to a doctor for hip pain, she proceeded to lay me down and stretch my legs all kinds of ways, going “wow you’re so flexible, I guess you’re fine”. I’m hypermobile.

[followthebluebell]

I have excellent veins. “Very juicy,” said the nice totally-not-a-vampire nurse taking my blood for a hormonal panel.

[pangur-and-grim]

a hairdresser once got legitimately aggrieved with me because my hair follicles are densely packed (as though if she frowned hard enough I’d relent and space them out properly?)

[drferox]

Obstetrician said I had ‘an extremely functional pancreas, even under challenge’ which I guess was a pleasant surprise.

[toxeh]

When I got my septum pierced, the guy doing it said I had a perfect septum and perfectly aligned nostrils. “Like you have model nostrils. Like you have the kind of nose I would have loved to have trained on. It’s perfect.” (It was small but it actually kinda made me feel really good about myself?????

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

creep on the subway absolutely sloshed at 2 o’clock in the afternoon told me “I like your legs. they look STRONG, they’re footballers legs… they’re almost a bit freakish like”

thanks???????????????????

[orangejulii]

A creepy customer at work told me I have nice elbows.  I was taken off guard and replied, “Well, that’s a new one.”  He said, “Shut up you know you have nice elbows!”

[scary-numbers]

a regular at my old restaurant (who was drunk at the time) told me I had an air of leadership about me, “like a czar”

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

wow okay you win this post @bruhgender

[thebusylilbird]

last time I went to the ophtalmologist I had to do a dilated-pupil fundus examination, and during it the doctor said those exact words: “wow your retina is really gorgeous ! I know this means nothing to you but for me it’s beautiful, I’m happy to see it !” 

[lustful-kingly-deactivated20240]

An older nurse once told me that I had marble like skin while stroking my arm. I was about 15? :)

[coffeeandtoast]

i’ve been told I have perfect ears by a girl I used to go to school with, like she straight up said; “when I go on google and search ear pictures, your ear is the kind of ear that would be the first to pop up.” 

[puffpuffthedragon]

My audiologist told me one of my ear canals is significantly smaller than the other and it was “nice to finally use the little ear pieces without it being a small child” A coworker told me i have nice cheekbones and “they’re very good for photographs” A counsellor at a summer program told me (not in a creepy way tho) that I have a “cute belly” and piercing my belly button was a “very good idea and worked well” my old theatre director told me i project my voice well (this was before i had the guts to be onstage) and would do well in large theatres

[undomestication]

the children playing outside below my apartment are very seriously and passionately accusing each other of witchcraft

[puffpuffthedragon]

Thank you for teaching me how to live for myself again