a woman with a head of roses @punkassbookj0ckeys - Tumblr Blog

It’s almost as if Hugh Hefner was projecting a force-field that protected creepy famous men, and with his death they were suddenly exposed.

dorkaelskunkworks

I prefer the “Carrie Fisher is doing her good work from beyond the grave” hypothesis, but hey. You do you.

postmodernmulticoloredcloak

Why do you think those two phenomena are mutually exclusive

dorkaelskunkworks

The concept that Carrie Fisher murdered Hugh Hefner from beyond the veil is actually pretty goddamn satisfying now that you mention it.

tastefullyoffensive

(via DrMassicotte)

@punkassbookj0ckeys

😂😂

Walk in on parents having a heated debate.

Am worried for a bit. Are they fighting?

Realize parents are having a heated debate on whether or not goats can climb trees.

Immediately side with mom, because I know goats can fuckin climb fucking ANYTHING because I remember the “crave that mineral” meme with the goat on the vertical cliff face apparently levitating to achieve the mineral it craves.

who fuckin says the internet never taught me anything

Dad has to leave to go back to work. Leaves convinced that no, goats can’t climb trees, they’re goats, they stay on the ground.

Once he’s gone, youtube search “Moroccan Tree Goats.” Find self-explanatory video of several goat up in a fuckin tree like some Dr. Seuss shit.

Mom looks at me like it’s the proudest she’s ever been of me in her life, including my university graduation

She emails it to him. At work. My dad will get a video of Moroccan goats screaming in a tree at his place of business, with the subject line “I TOLD YOU SO.”

Mom triumphantly yells to the empty house, “THIS IS WHY PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE THOUGHT GOATS WERE THE DEVIL.”

Another ordinary day in my house.

caketown-deactivated20210401

‘This is why people in the Bible thought goats were the devil’ is a really solid explanation when you see how goats defy the laws of physics.

gif87a-com

A hummingbird thought a man’s orange hat was a flower [x]

pillowswithboners-deactivated20

I like how the bird actually stopped to contemplate the weird flower for a bit

lindzem

Purest little bird~

surreal--memes

bleemoo

My name is Georg adn wen you cownt or tally up the hole amownt of spyders ayt by men, do not cownt those i eet - i eet a lot.

keynes-fetlife-mutual

“average cow liks 3 bred a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average cow liks 0 bred per year. Bredlik Cow, who lives in an authentic 18th century French bakery & liks over 10,000 bred each night, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

emperor-ing-deactivated20191108

cultural exchange

failnation

true love knows no fences

janicexxx

everythingliar

[Image description: 4-panel comic. June 24, 2017. Panel 1: I say “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Panel 2: I say “But maybe everyone feels that way sometimes.” Panel 3: Inara (my cat) says “I know exactly what I’m doing.” Panel 4: Inara says “I’m successfully destroying this roll of toilet paper just like I succeed at everything.” while destroying a roll of toilet paper.]

#also applies to toddlers

b0navid3

the-greatest-genderqueer

When you load up on caffeine to make yourself less sad, but instead you just get Accelerated Depression™

the-greatest-genderqueer

I love how fucking abstract the concept of Accelerated Depression is. Like, it’s vague as fuck, but we all know what tf it feels like

fionagoddess

apisashla

I scrolled back as far as I could on the tag for “The Cask of Amontillado” and I still can’t find a single reason why everyone’s posting about it all of the sudden

whythebigpaws

Look a little bit further, in the very back

tmgbanter

I’m always trying to figure out what to say about this goddamn song. Part of me wants to say, well it’s about revenge, but as soon as I say that, I go, ‘No, that’s not quite it.’ Part of me wants to say, well it’s about the satisfaction of not needing revenge… and I say, ‘No, that’s some new age stuff. I don’t want to be up on that business,’ you know. But I think it’s a song about the moment in your quest for revenge when you learn to embrace the futility of it. When you know the thing you want is ridiculous and pompous and a terrible thing to want anyway and the direction in which you’re headed is not the direction in which you want to go. Yet you’re going to head that way a while longer anyway ‘cause that’s just the kind of person you are.

John Darnielle introducing Up the Wolves, Bowery Ballroom on 2007-10-01 (via sonnywortzik)