so

I was gonna move to a new account but with all this going on nevermind

[punpup]

MOVED ACCOUNT

As I’m getting a new phone and don’t have the information to log into this account anymore, this will be my last post here. You can find me at @nintnd-ho3 💕

[punpup]

MOVED ACCOUNT

As I’m getting a new phone and don’t have the information to log into this account anymore, this will be my last post here. You can find me at @nintnd-ho3 💕

[punpup]

MOVED ACCOUNT

As I’m getting a new phone and don’t have the information to log into this account anymore, this will be my last post here. You can find me at @nintnd-ho3 💕

[punpup]

MOVED ACCOUNT

As I'm getting a new phone and don't have the information to log into this account anymore, this will be my last post here. You can find me at @nintnd-ho3 💕

[ayot4life]

Yo! @staff

Why do all the black hash tags no longer exist?

And yet we still have all of these…

You have some explaining to do staff

[naran-ja-deactivated20161104]

I THOUGHT IT WAS MY PHONE. Black girls doesn’t even fucking work. Please boost this guys! PLEASE!

[fierceawakening]

the HELL.

[literallyaflame]

i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask

[cranewived]

[beeth0ven]

my mom is a well intentioned yet nosy mom and she always wants to hook me up with people. it leads to some text message gems so the other day i went through and screenshotted the best. please enjoy.

[mezzodical]

one round/action in D&D is 6 seconds so anything you could accomplish during a vine you could do during your turn

[theorynoodle]

Rogue: “I’m back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”

DM: “Roll an acrobatics check.”

[lovelylovelyartist]

Fighter: I want to see my little boy

DM: roll a perception check

*nat 20*

DM: here he comes

[z-nogyrop]

bard: toss me my keys

*rolls a 1*

DM: i thought you said printer

[spiritednug]

Fairy: I still haven’t found my berries

DM: roll a perception check

*rolls a 9*

Fairy: BUT! *holds up an orange* I found this.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Druid: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand.

DM: Roll an intimidation check.

*nat 20*

DM: Poseidon quivers before him!

Druid: Fuck off!

[redwoodriver-deactivated2018042]

Dm: can you read this for us?

Fighter: rolls a nat 1

Fighter: what up im Jared im 19 and I never fuckin learned how to read

[sparrow-va]

Fighter: It’s summer, I got my helm on backwards and it’s time to fuckin’ party.

DM: Roll for Dodge.

Fighter: *rolls a 1*

Fighter: *slams head into ye olde portcullis*

[dan-the-dragon]

there are a lot of great examples of jokes in YouTube comments resulting in ridiculously long discourse and arguments but this will forever remain one of my favs

[theweirdwideweb]

[monstercub]

Wtf is that? A storm elemental?

[monkeysaysficus]

Ball lightning fuck me all the way up

[emotiona1shorty]

Excuse me what the fuck is this

[ichorandpride]

you literally captured whats called “ball lightning” which is the rarest form of lighting

its so rare that we dont even know how it forms other than by heat, static electricity, and humidity

[mylifewithfel]

storm elemental it is

[rooks]

I tried to cast a lightning spell outside and a ball lightning appeared and killed me in one hit storm elemental confirmed

[quickienewyork]

Everyone I Know Has Two Names

Writers, dancers, fuckers, beaters, liars, flyers, and little girl creepers. Each one with two names or three names or four We know what you call us–we’ve heard it before

We drink on Tuesdays in between buyers and fuck on the weekend when everyone’s tired And nobody knows who’s who anymore which is just how we like it And just how we’ll stay

If you ask him his name he’ll smile a bit She’ll give you a kiss and you’ll give her a tip And the reason he’s grinning is ’cause everyone knows That names don’t mean nothing in painting or prose

So we’ll write and we’ll dance and we’ll fuck and we’ll beat We’ll lie our hearts out and then fly in our sleep You can’t stop the music, the groans, or the come Our bruises will mark us, our scars make us one

All those little girl dancers and lazy romancers Will keep the world spinning And loving too much

You can’t stop the tide when the weirdos come out And there’s nowhere to run where you can’t hear our shouts

And if you forget who you nailed to the cross Who you dragged through the mud Who you battered with fear Remember we like nails, and mud, guts, and tears So do what you do ’Cause we’ll always be here.

- ©2018 Guy New York

(A poem for Dec 17th, International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, and the day Tumblr banned nudity.)

[catchymemes]

[sunneflyer-deactivated20200428]

pikavee

[jennilah]

went to see if my late package maybe showed up without being scanned

[jennilah]

but the post man yesterday said it would be here at ooooooooooone

[jennilah]

is 9…………. post office closing time…….  no pkg……………………………………………………… >:C

[jennilah]

well at least i can skip my post office visit tomorrow

[jennilah]

i mean what did i expect really

a package?

too unrealistic

[jennilah]

amazon sent me a replacement for my lost package and it “arrived” today

[jennilah]

omg she recognized me immediately and got nervous with me while checking the system using my name

she was just as distraught as me when it turned up “arriving tomorrow” again but then she had another idea

[cursedwitchazel]

mail is dumb

[skodasforge]

The mail lady saying “NO. I REFUSE to say it again” was more climactic than the Braveheart speech.

[babyboomerbullshit]

how to compliment someone without seeming like a fucking creep. an easy how to guide:

a) compliment them on something that they can change. don’t say ‘nice tits janice’, say something like ‘your shoes are rad’ or ‘your hair looks great’.

b) don’t be a fucking creep. if it’d weird you out if it was said to you, then it’s likely too creepy to say to someone else.

EASY.

also this pic is super strawmanny and gross. it is not hard to not be a creep.

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

My most favorite compliment I’ve ever gotten I got from a man who was a complete stranger who drove up next to me while I was walking home at 9pm in the night:

I guess he saw me speed walk, overtake, then completely outpace some really tall business man in front of me (who had also increased his speed to overtake me back but failed).

Anyway this complete stranger doing the exact stereotype of what a man shouldn’t ever do drove up next to me, rolled down the window and said:

“That is the fastest damn walking I’ve ever seen. Ma’am, you…have the soul…of a bicycle.”

Then rolled up his window and drove away.

He didn’t creepily drive behind me, he drove regular speed and came to a rolling stop. He didn’t roll down his window all the way or stick his head out, he said his piece quickly and with a great amount of awe and respect, then he didn’t act like he needed a response from me or expect anything from the compliment. And then he left as quickly as he came. The compliment was so good and politely delivered that I’ve thought about it with amusement for over a year.

It is NOT HARD to not be threatening to women. Those who can’t manage it are sus as hell.

[camwyn]

That is one hell of a compliment.

[crewniverse-tweets]

Amethyst live tweeting that new episode, Legs from here to Homeworld!Make sure to watch if you haven’t all ready

Twitter

[your-favorite-gifs]