polyfrag/cdd things that suck ass cus some of yall need a reminder that this shit is not just a disorder but literally an extension of cptsd. kept it to a small handful because the list would go on forever if there wasnt a limit. this intro is your cw/tw
if you wont/cant read the rest, at least read this:
i love system positivity and its great how much of it theres been. but we need to let both comfort and anguish exist in the same space with equal voices. to wallow in despair is to ignore the light. to cover it up is to invalidate the foundation. we need the yin and the yang.
if youre too fixated on the darker realities, take a moment to look at the brighter ones. if youre too fixated on the good sides, do your part to validate the ugly. you will do yourself, your system, and this community a service.
- never truly feeling complete. the ever-present sense that something inside of you is missing and youll just never know what it is. feeling “fragmented” in a very literal sense
- suddenly hating a food youve always loved and not being able to explain the indifferent grief that comes with losing one of the few things that made you you. also applies to activities, shows/movies, books, music, interests, etc.
- dissociating at the smallest stressor. wdym i no longer feel present/like a person just because vibes were a little off while hanging out with a friend. oh, we’re splitting because of it now? and its another group? ok man sure why the fuck not
- having a conversation with someone and slowly going from “i like/am familiar with this person!” to “if you asked me their name and what they were just talking about i could not tell you”. the transition was too slow to notice until youre suddenly Different from before. you want to “go back”, but it wasnt you. youve lost your reference and all you have left is an ache for something you cant pinpoint and a conversation with a stranger you now have to manage
- trying so hard to remember something that you KNOW happened but its just. gone. its on the tip of your tongue, you used to know the details intimately, you can recall vague colors or feelings but theyre off somehow. like it never happened. or it did and youre getting it wrong. you will forget this recall attempt. and the next. and the one after that too. until you stop trying to recall it. a lot of the time, “it” isnt even about trauma
- fear. exhaustion. exhaustion from what? nothing. nothing that you know of. why are you tired? why are you so tense? why can’t you fall sleep? why won’t you go to the doctors? to school? to a friends place? home? why does the thought of doing anything light your skin up like thorned fire? why does the thought of seeing anyone make you want to run until no one can find you? why does the thought of getting out from under your blanket only make you burrow more? sometimes you know why, sometimes you dont
- amnesia again. forgetting that you forgot. amnesia again. if you forget this, it’s over. if you forget this, then theres no point. if you cant even remember that you forget, you no longer qualify as sick. you are so sick that you wrap around to being normal and doesnt that sting? amnesia again. the word “normal” on you is like wearing an outfit that you loved in the morning and hated by noon. you want to look normal, sound normal, feel normal, be normal but that all just feels so wrong. you changed clothes. you changed. that’s what people tell you, at least. you take what people tell you as the truth. it’s not like you know what you did. people don’t like when you don’t remember so it’s easier to just pretend you do. does this make you “normal” yet?
- major control issues. wonder where that comes from. couldnt possibly be the fact that you are never in control of yourself (the one thing everyone else is capable of doing) /s. you cant even control others to make up for it... do you want to control others? doesnt that make you a bad person? but so-and-so did it and theyre not a bad person, right? the rules are different for you. and now you feel guilty for controlling others (something you didnt do) (but you feel like you did so you overcompensate by baring your neck more than usual) (and then you get angry for exposing yourself like that) (and the cycle repeats)
- it feels like something is touching you. sometimes it feels good, like warmth radiating from your heart or a well timed hug when youre feeling lonely. sometimes its little things, like shifting your arm to pick up a different color crayon or moving you to a different section of the grocery store. sometimes its the holy spirit in your bones, helping you do things without having to think about it. but its not always so passive and nice. sometimes it touches you in places you dont want to be touched. it moves you into positions you dont want to be in. it makes you hurt the way it hurts. there are so many "body feelings" and each of them is significant and distinct. you wonder if this is how they feel. then you berate yourself for personifying it, implying something happened to you at all
- constantly being triggered by people who seem "powerful" or have some semblance of "status" on the hierarchy you've learned to keep memorized. parents, bosses, pastors/priests, old people, anyone who is "above" you suddenly feels like a threat. that mixed with having extremely low self esteem means everyone is a threat. you were always given some lenience when you were "good" so you lower yourself further and teach yourself to depend on them. let them do what they want and youll stop feeling it eventually
- small, confined spaces feeling like a prison and a safe haven all at once. this is as close to peace as you can get
Simply Plural & Solo Server Organization Assistance
I noticed another uptick in systems requesting help organizing their simply plural. So that's what this post is. Featuring how we organize our system server on Revolt/Discord because it's safer for us than downloading an explicitly system-focused app. We don't talk about aesthetic or whatever since our Simply Plural is a wreck. If you're just looking for aesthetic inspiration sorry but you should go elsewhere. Also we're in the middle of remodeling so ignore the mess. Pictures and stuff below.
Ok I'm gonna start with Simply Plural.
We started by organizing based on system. Side systems aren't included in the main system category cuz why would they be.
The "Update" section has profiles that Anna or another archivist/manager wants to look at and profiles that alters haven't added to since making it.
Here's the inside of the main systems folder
"Age" is organized like this
"Littles" being 0-9, "Middles" being 10-12, "Teens" being 13-19, and "Adults" being 20+. Regressors can be any age but some of them asked for a section so they got one. We only really use the specific ages for parts who are stuck or who jump. Updating every alter who ages when they do is hard and not worth it when they can just tell us their age in the designated custom field.
"Extra" just has sections for dormant parts, integrated parts, and who the integrated parts went to. If we know who integrated into who, we have a custom field for specificity.
"Families & Special Groups" is for parts who are family members and parts who split off at the same time and are still together. The groups are usually in their own little bubble but there's no discernible effect on memories and memory sharing so we don't count them as a sub or side system.
"Formation Status" has 3 sub-sections for fragments, "in-betweens", and formed.
"Gender" has subsections for feminine alignment, masculine alignment, queer/GNC, and gender hoarders. Queer/GNC has subsections for any singular gender identity parts have listed that aren't exclusively feminine or masculine (e.g. nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, pangender). We tried to restrict it to "at least 3 parts have to experience this for it to be an official subsection" but we're pretty lenient about that. It gives parts trying to discover who they are or build themselves a little ground work at least.
"Interaction Status" has these subsections
You can probably figure that out on your own.
"Location" has subsections for various parts of our headspace where parts stay when they're not fronting.
Nutty added the "Name" section. He likes to alphabetize things and I guess our Simply Plural is no exception.
"Orientation" has subsections for romantic orientation, sexual orientation, and a section called "double down" which just means both orientations are the same (e.g. being biromantic and bisexual, being heteromantic and heterosexual). I think this is a messy way of doing this section, but I was outvoted.
"Preferred Language" has subsections for all the languages we or other parts know, knew, or have learned. We aren't fluent in much other than English, but there are parts who know a lot more than others in certain languages and that's really what this section is for.
"Religion" has more subsections than I thought but the division makes sense. Anyway you probably won't need to include this section unless parts have very different views on religion.
"Role" has a ton of subsections. Anna or whoever organized it tried narrowing it down. So "protectors" has subsections for aggressive, emotional, physical, preventative, sexual, social, and verbal. You probably won't need all that, but if it feels better having subsections for your subsections instead of putting specifics in your custom fields, to each their own. Lemme know if you guys want some role/function examples and how they operate in our system.
"Silly Groups" has subsections for silly groups. "Green Gang" consists of parts who have all set their profile color as green. "Freaks and Creeps" has parts who have a shared interest in supernatural and paranormal entities. I'm in "Gamers Anonymous" and we talk about video games and make fun of cishet CoD players. It's been really fun and Dr. Collins thinks it helps with integration and connection or something. So make silly groups. It's worth it I promise.
"Species" is for species. We got subsections for dead alters (like ghosts and Dacir and stuff), humans, nonhumans, objects, shapeshifters, voiders, and alters who don't know or don't feel like either. "Nonhumans" has subsections for different animals and anthros who identify as nonhuman.
"Subsystems" have subsystems. There aren't sections for roles since the roles are already established in other sections, but if the subsystem has roles specific to that subsystem, maybe put those roles in that section. That was a lot of S words. My bad.
Side systems have their own roles because they're not a part of the main system and it would be bad if the managers confused them and marked them dormant. But there's a similar process I think. We don't really have access to them so it's hard to tell if they even know about this stuff, but a couple of the side systems seem to have updated their profiles and groups so that's promising.
And here's how we do our Revolt.
We switched to Revolt after Discord announced their plan to switch from the current model - which is cool and good - to the stupid model - which is stupid and bad. Enshittification takes a while but so does transferring all of our stuff so at least we'll be ahead of it. Anyway Revolt is exactly like Discord but without the subscription and paid stuff so if you're using Discord this tutorial can still be helpful.
We have a server for the main system and servers for sub and side systems. Side systems are harder to communicate with — especially since there are presumably very few alters in the known side systems that know about this stuff (and care enough to look) — but this has made it way easier.
Anna started by putting the "Sysfo & General" category at the top. She thought it'd be easier for newbies if what they needed to see was where they opened up. I agree with this thought process.
"Read Me" is her introducing herself, introducing the server, and outlining the rules. Pretty simple - don't snoop, be respectful of boundaries and triggers, date and add context to body/irl pics, stuff like that.
"Roles" is describing alter roles and functions. Has basic roles like host, persecutor, gatekeeper and more system-specific roles like archivist, mimic, filters, and more.
"Innerworld Mapping" has pictures but it's more writing than I expected. Names places, puts pictures that relate to those places, and describes the layers and connections. A lot of fakes ("NPCs"?) listed there too which is nice when I go to clean out our Simply Plural. Parts get confused sometimes. I don't blame them. Fakes are confusing.
"Accounts" is where we keep account information. We put emails and usernames in without censoring but coded passwords so the only place we have those fully written out is in our real life journal.
"Recipes" is self explanatory.
"Body Pictures" is where we put pictures that are taken of our body. The rule for that section is that you're only supposed to put body pictures in there if multiple parts are fronting or if whoever's putting the pic in doesn't know who the fronter was. Other than that, Anna said that she wants the body pictures that specific parts take should go in their "Pictures" channel.
"Memes" section is for memes that we relate to but are specifically about our disorders or symptoms. "DID Pics" is for pictures that we relate to as a system but they aren't memes. Pretty dark place. I try to avoid it but I noticed some of the traumaholders really like it. I think that's concerning but it's none of my business.
"Shared Journal" is for communication or general logging.
"Example" category is a placeholder for the parts name. For dormant or integrated parts, we do this
Here's what Anna wrote for the example "Info" section
"Faceclaims" is self explanatory. "Front Tells" is self explanatory. "Triggers/Draws" are separated by message but are kept in the same channel.
Here's what she said about "Pictures" and "Videos"
Here's what she said about "Links"
And here's what she said about "Journal"
That's all from me if you have questions, need more advice, wanna check out our custom fields, or anything else leave it in the comments, mailbox, or reblogs and we'll get back to you 👍
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