#actually polyfrag

[starryk1sses]

I hate delayed amnesia so much. I’ll go through a whole day thinking I’m “fine” and fully present, and then hours later it hits me like—wait… I don’t remember anything from today. It feels like my whole day just slips through my fingers.

I’d like to think I’m staying relatively co-conscious with our other alters/fragments, but then once they leave, I lose nearly—if not all—of the memory afterward. It’s so disorienting.

[thesillybunch]

hello please read this!

what's been gnawing at us lately, besides the everything that is our life, is that i do feel there's a weird "default" that you just ... gotta ... be aesthetic as fuck in the system community.

you gotta have pretty bios, you need icon masks and entirely filled out info with 49735345 fucking symbols screen readers can't read and/or don't work on all devices.

this is purely a me thing. there's no system god pointing their gun at my head to make our shit aesthetic and nice looking but i feel like if we don't we'll die or something.

shout out to the systems that just...cannot... do aesthetics. you're either too big, can't decide, disabled in any form, and/or just don't want to. i get it. you aren't alone.

also extra shout out to systems that will never be satisfied with what they've got documented. we'll never be finished with ours i'm convinced. we're too polyfragmented and caught up in our own thoughts about it all. ugh.

[banditosys]

i loooove lookin’ at peoples stuff. yes i will look through your entire simply plural account. yes i will click every link on your rentry and your carrd and your straw page. yes i will read every set of pronouns and every name from your hoard. i love your websites and i want to see them all.

[infernalis-crypture]

Normally I don't post my "feelings" online but the last few days surrounding the Simply Plural, WriteLighthouse and Ampersand situation make me want to say something.

The DID/OSDD community needs to get their heads out of their fucking asses.

I understand wanting an easy way to keep track of alters, and I also understand the frustration of it as a Polyfragmented system.

However the DID/OSDD community has an honestly absurd amount of entitlement. Yes, I know not everyone in these communities is like this. But the ones who are:

You are NOT entitled to harassing and shitting on and being a cunt to the devs of any app/website because you want something done right now. If it's such an issue that things aren't working, make your own goddamn app.

And before people come at me with "oh but that's not easy/I don't have time" etc. That's exactly my fucking point. If you yourself know it's not easy and it's time consuming and a pain in the ass then stop harassing the devs of apps that have put effort and time into making sure these apps work to the best of their ability.

It's one thing making an app for yourself to use, it's a completely different thing making it for a larger audience.

Yes. We are disabled due to our disorder, I'm not denying that. But for the love of God you people need to drop the fucking entitlement and learn to have some patience and humility because at the rate the community is harassing devs YOU will be the cause of these apps completely disappearing and you'll also be the first to shit in your pants about it online when it happens.

The same people screaming for accessibility and support are the ones torching the bridge they're standing on. Developing and maintaining an app for systems is a massive logistical headache; privacy concerns, encryption, data syncing, and when the community responds with harassment because a feature isn't "perfect" or "instant," they’re just fast-tracking the death of the few resources they actually have.

It's genuinely pathetic that "having a disorder" is being used as a shield for being a total prick to developers. You are going to wake up one morning to a 404 error and have absolutely no one to blame but your own lack of impulse control.

And yes while I am pissed off I am also talking from experience, parts of this community are lovely. But a VERY large part of it is the most toxic cesspool I have ever encountered.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, having a disorder does not give you an excuse to be a dickhead.

[atlas-corporation]

everytime i see people laugh at the concept of cults and how ridiculous they are i actually start seething as somebody who WAS in a cult for multiple years

people dont join cults because theyre stupid. people join them because cult leaders PREY on them. they find people who are vulnerable and offer them community and perceived safety

they dont come out swinging with "im the only one who can speak to this meteorite" or "the world is going to end on xx/xx/xx". they open by bonding with you over regular activities. you meet in line at the coffee shop and get to chatting, and they give you their number. you find them at the park playing basketball with other members and assume theyre friends.

youre with them for weeks, maybe months before they let you feel like an "insider." they tell you everything in pieces so you have time to internalize it. they encourage you to keep these things secret, because other people wouldnt understand- and if you do tell others and they do call you crazy, that just solidifies that belief and pushes you further into the cult.

sometimes they have members be the reason for certain 'discoveries' or new elements of control. in the cult i was in, i had to be away for an extended period of time, and when i returned, the leader told me they had discovered astral projection was driven by emotion and in their deep yearning to see me had astral projected to my location to watch over me while i was away. while it was framed as a means of companionship, community, and protection, all it truly did was make everybody involved feel that they were always being watched and were never truly alone. it scared us into following the rules of the cult when we were at school or work.

its a gradual process. if i explained everything that i would be taught in one sitting to myself prior to joining the cult, i never would have. i would have laughed and said 'that sounds ridiculous, who would ever believe that?' but thats the point. its boiling frog syndrome. since its so gradual, you dont notice youre boiling until youve already been burned too badly to leave.

in fact, being in this cult did severe restructuring to my system and caused me to discover the fact i even was one- years before i was ready to learn that information. to this day i still struggle with parts- even those that front semi-frequently- following old rules and inflicting old punishments upon us.

anyway. yeah thats why im mad about people who joke about cults. no a group of people with the same pfp is not a cult. no a friend group is not a cult. no a discord server with a religious theme is not a cult.

[horrorcrew-diary]

Passive alter influence is like.... I wanna go home. I'm yearning. I'm taken. I'm literally asexual. I wanna go to bed. If I even try to go to sleep I'll cry. I miss my friends. I hate you. No I don't. Where's our parents. I hate my parents. I'm yearning again.

[haunted-children-didsys]

a llittle reminder for endos❤

the future is not plural

DiD is a TRAUMA based disorder

Your guys keep spreading miss information

The syspunk is not made for you

You can't be a system without trauma

[wearequantum]

First of all, yes, I'm very upset about Simply Plural shutting down. Thank god that systems have until June to figure something else out, but holy moly.

Second, the way this situation is being handled just smacks of "long-standing problem reached its boiling point and a hasty decision was made" to me. As someone with BPD who struggled for a long time with both conflict resolution and impulse control, I have so much experience in letting a problem get worse and worse until it blows up in a catastrophic way, and that's how this feels. Amaryllis was clearly struggling to keep things going, overwhelmed by how big it all was getting, yet refused to let anyone help them or take steps back to recover. Then, all at once, they shut everything down and block all criticism, disregarding how many people they're affecting.

This is complete speculation, though. I do agree with all the posts saying this should've been handled differently. Amaryllis does have a dev team, does have financial support, does have the option to make SP's code open-source. And yet they're shutting everything down due to personal issues. I know they're struggling, but it's not just about them anymore; it's about the system community that you brought along with you too.

Please pass on development or even just maintenance to someone else, or make the code open source, or SOMETHING. You are robbing vulnerable people of a vital accessibility tool.