I wish my father was patient.
That he will not get mad whenever I forgot something at home because he cares more about me than wasted gasoline.
I wish my father was kind.
And that he doesn’t have to be nice to neighbors and their kids then treat us, his own kids, like nothing. I still wonder how he can act like a good citizen or even uncle to other people’s kids and never a good father to us.
I wish my father would stop blaming us for things he couldn’t do because he stopped doing them for us.
Remember how you treated me like a disturbance? A hindrance? Remember how you pushed me up against the wall and hit me because for you, i was a mistake? Remember how you shouted at me for telling me i am worthless? I remember them, i do.
I wish my father would realize what he did and how much it affected me, us.
And that for years, i have been trying to repress what i feel even though all i ever feel was pain and sadness and mostly, madness.
I hated what i have become because you judged me first when you didn’t even do anything to know me.
I hope my father would understand why i became like this,
And why it was never easy to forget. To forgive.
You’re the first person who failed me and my belief that good guys still exist. You’re the main reason why I couldn’t trust anybody. Why I always feel like i wasn’t good enough when you should’ve been my source of strength. When you should’ve been the first person to believe, to lift me up, to support me. But all you ever did was put the blame on me like my mere existence was a failure, a mistake. a regret.
This, is what you made me.
stormborns
theartofmadeline
2087
izzy806
prguitarman
