Chaos @pyromantic-pilgrim - Tumblr Blog

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For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME

it must also be shittable

steveyockey

aftercare but for your job

miniaturize

the concept of a site that doesn't even allow porn requiring age verification for mature content. you gotta give us your legal id or else we'll hide random posts that were incorrectly flagged from you

pixiecaps

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

pixiecaps

they couldnt take the heat

doctordotdj

godspeedyoublackemperor

hollanderthoughts

Wait…. 😳 there’s a way out?

hollanderthoughts

Fuuuuuuck me. It’s through? And that’s the only way? Fuuuuuuuck dude

dsm7

yankeeblue

spiribia

tumblr was down for so long but we didn't even get any maintenance compensation at all...tumblr devs getting greedier and greedier with each passing day. for downtime that long we should have at least gotten 100 free tumblr diamonds or a free pull ticket on the tumblr banner. my dailies are wasted

orteil42

what could possibly be in there

orteil42

harbinger-of-silly

All gays will go to hellsite

king-of-oreo

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

One of the most up-and-coming genres on YouTube entertainment these days is the "car rescue." Some intrepid folks with a bunch of tools and probably too much time pull some massive turd out of a farmhouse, or river, or swamp, and then spend a 40- to 160-minute long video turning it back into a working car. While I can only watch YouTube videos at the public library, I have been exposed to this phenomena the hard way.

My city, which is devoid of its former industrial base and really any other kind of major employment, is kept aloft by what the kids call "hustle culture." Folks delivering burritos at the behest of anonymous benefactors. Picking groceries off shelves in accordance with the demands of a little text field saying "no shitty avocados." And striving to launch their YouTube careers, which will surely lead into a steady source of sponsored income, and not at all a terrifying series of oscillations between poverty and mania. It's this last group that's the problem.

You see, these restoration videos need a constant source of broke-ass cars to make them possible. Any major urban centre could easily provide enough supply for one channel's demand. After all, you can only fix broken cars so quickly, even if they're desirable ones. As you may recall from the preceding paragraph, however, my city is ninety percent YouTubers by volume, so there's always folks on the prowl for badly-maintained cars. Badly maintained cars like the ones I own several dozen of.

Every morning, I awaken to find a new set of notes on my crap-cans, offering to buy them. I field pitches, some recorded, at my front door, looking to save my valueless Plymouths for The Content. Sometimes they even offer to do it for free and drop it back off at my place, where it is hoped that natural entropy will produce another video on the same car. Naturally, I say no. I'm going to get around to fixing all of these properly, I explain at length, while pop-riveting a "Thin Ice" road sign into the spot where my passenger floorboard used to exist. Besides, I don't need any additional fame, because cops watch YouTube too.

Most of these entrepreneurs leave, their heads hanging in sadness that I will not help them start their journey to the promised land of automotive journalism. Some get a little sneakier. Just last week, I caught a pair of kids trying to replace a rear drum brake on one of the Mercury Bobcats I left too close to the property line. Little shits did a pretty good job, but their editing sucks, especially how they failed to include the part where I chased them off with a torque wrench in the thumbnail. You'll never get that gold play button with a hustle like that.

lupinsuniverse

my tfp gijinka au where i throw a bunch of bullshit and nonsense together

spooky-cowfish

A recreation of what I saw when I was passing my boss's desk

twistedpictures

genuinely almost just killed my father from fear by, while i was driving, gasping out a loud astonished “FUCK?” at an intersection that would’ve probably indicated we were going to die if not for the fact that it was because we were passing a man on motorcycle in fullbody professional-level jim carrey grinch suit and makeup and prosthetics

twistedpictures