Follow-up: A Dating Dictionary.
So my last post got me thinking about all the ridiculous dating lingo we have going on these days. Once upon a time you could be "single," "dating," "steady/going together," "engaged," or "married." Simple enough, right? Well today, if you ask me, there are way too many gray areas. This is my attempt to define/make sense of some of the terms I hear daily...
Single: You're not married. You're not engaged. You're not dating anyone exclusively. You may have a "friend with benefits." You may be "hooking up" with someone. You may be dating someone or multiple someones. You may be perfectly content taking time to enjoy not being tied down. Or you could be completely disillusioned with the dating scene of the 21st century. Whatever the reason, embrace it and definitely don't cry about it (see previous post).
Talking: Enter awkward technology. You're not really going out on dates yet, although you may have hung out casually once or twice--in a group, at a bar, etc. You're flirty in person but your face-to-face conversations likely lack any truly engaging, meaningful content; you save that for text messages because that way you can hide behind your phone instead of actually seeing someone's reaction to your opinions. This gets tricky, though, because, as previously stated, you should never ever try to gauge emotions via text message. (In other words, man up and talk face to face.)
Dating: Now this one's especially confusing. In some cases, when someone says they're "dating" another person, they mean that they're getting to know them, going out on dates (dinner, movie, etc.). Other cases, it means they're in an exclusive/official relationship. Use context clues to determine the difference.
Hooking up: Well, let's get real. You could be hooking up with someone you're dating, someone you're exclusive/official with, your friend with benefits, or some random person you met at a bar. Technically, you can "hook up" with anyone you want, who also wants to "hook up" with you. But what does "hooking up" specifically mean? Don't pretend like you haven't had that awkward conversation...
Me: Soo...what happened with John Doe last night?
Friend: Well, we kinda hooked up...
Me: Hooked up how? Like, "hooked up hooked up?"
Friend: No! We didn't "hook up hook up," we just "hooked up," know
Um, no friend, I don't know what you mean. But I can guess. Long story short and without getting into the nitty gritty of it all, there are levels to "hooking up." Can we just go back to the oldschool bases? Geez louise.
Friends with benefits: This is a fun one. So you have a friend. You're not "dating" or "in a relationship" with said friend, but you are hooking up on a regular basis. The whole idea here is to have all the benefits of a physical relationship, without the heartache of an actual, exclusive, romantic relationship. Now, if you can get through this unscathed, PROPS, but chances are, you won't. One "friend" in this situation doubtlessly has stronger feelings than the other and I'd bet money the same "friend" is hoping that eventually the fwb arrangement will lead to a serious relationship flashmob ("Hey, I want my best friend back. Because I'm in love with her..."--Justin Timberlake & Mila Kunis anyone?). Yeah, good luck with that fantasy.
Exclusive: Congratulations! You locked someone down. You are only, exclusively hooking up with one person and they (supposedly) are only, exclusively hooking up with you. This means you are "going out," "going steady," "boyfriend/girlfriend," what the heck ever. So, new exclusive relationshipper--don't screw it up! Don't cheat, don't lie, don't steal, don't do bad stuff. Treat your new significant other with respect because goodness knows that this little situation we have here is few and far between these days.
Official: You're exclusive, and you put it on Facebook. Woohoo! Now just make sure you don't break up because you don't want that awkward little broken heart symbol popping up all over your "friends'" newsfeeds.
-->SIDENOTE: Speaking of Facebook, if you ever put "It's Complicated" as your official Facebook relationship status...please rethink your life choices. Aka, just don't do it.
And there you have it. Some definitions--accurate at least based on my/my friends' experiences--to clarify modern, albeit sometimes absurd dating lingo. So readers, regardless of what kind of relationship you're in, here's one little piece of advice: BE HONEST. Talk to your significant/not-so-significant other and let them know what's up. Trust me, all of these definitions are wide open for interpretation, so being straight up with them about your expectations saves a lot of time, and a lot of hurt.
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