you may find me having intense spiritual breakthroughs and revelations just to completely forget about them one week later don’t worry about me i am on my path

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du

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PR's Tumblrdome

oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

★
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
noise dept.
wallacepolsom

if i look back, i am lost
$LAYYYTER
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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One Nice Bug Per Day
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

izzy's playlists!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@qucscr
you may find me having intense spiritual breakthroughs and revelations just to completely forget about them one week later don’t worry about me i am on my path
Holy shit
I forgot about this
Give me jelly beans you fuck head
what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen
i do not ghost purposely i just have no idea what to say ever
and i have no concept of passage of time
I am not spiralling, I am just following a suspiciously curved path
Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like "jesus fucking christ there's a corpse in here", herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it's some kind of a prank that they're pulling, but also the people that you know aren't into pranks, or aren't very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you're not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you're supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.
Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can't see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You're taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.
On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won't look at you, the paramedics agree that they've never had a talking corpse before, though they won't question the fact that you're moving on your own.
You're eventually led to a morgue, where you're shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don't really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what's going to happen next.
Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they're like "dude what the fuck, you're not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies" and when you're like "aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body" they have no idea whether you're joking and they don't care, you're just chased out of there.
And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.
And basically that's probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.
I was waiting to find out what social issue this was going to be a metaphor for, so that ending really punched me in the face.
This new kafka story goes hard
i watch baseball for the side quests
throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout
this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl
baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.
and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:
or the beloved hot foot prank:
or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:
or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:
i take back everything bad i've ever said about baseball these boys can fucking Post
i hate these motherfuckers so much. our sewer system used to be infested with them. they;d crawl out of my fucking toilet at night looking for warmth, standing up from the bowl waving their shitass little arms at me. they don’t have eyes but you can feel them staring back at you, asking for hugs or god knows what with that pathetic whine that permeates their entire way of existence. uppies! uppies! i’m not giving you uppies you wet toilet freak
btw every time i say 'oaaough' or some variation of that i am trying to convey this emotion
youre telling me a ham fisted this metaphor??
this is what i mean when i type 👀 btw
you ever just.... vanish for a really long time and then come back here and hope everyone you remember is okay? because that's me rn.
god i hate knowing i have stuff to do it's like bearing a curse