at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.
Why is measles back in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.
Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.
Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.
What contributed to the Covid outbreak?
Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.
“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.
Damian Wayne had never experienced true suffering before.
Then the new veterinarian opened across from the animal shelter he volunteered at.
He was kind to every animal.
He hand-fed injured pigeons.
He let ugly three-legged cats climb onto his shoulders during appointments.
He wore oversized sweaters with paw prints on them.
AND WORST OF ALL—
He was the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his entire twelve years of existence.
Not regular pretty either.
No.
Universe-ending pretty.
Like “ethereal being accidentally trapped in human form” pretty.
Like “Greek gods would start drama over him” pretty.
Like “why is there sparkles around him when he holds baby rabbits” pretty.
And unfortunately— the veterinarian was approximately ancient.
As in TWENTY.
Which meant Damian could not even emotionally justify his feelings because Grayson would never let him hear the end of it.
So instead Damian did the mature thing.
He decided Drake needed to marry him immediately.
Tim Drake was dragged to the animal rescue at 7:12 AM against his will.
Tim: “Damian it’s SATURDAY.”
Damian: “There is an emergency.”
Tim, half asleep: “Is someone dying?”
Damian: “Potentially my future happiness.”
Tim: “…what.”
Damian shoved him through the clinic doors dramatically.
And that’s when Tim saw him.
The veterinarian looked up from where he was bottle-feeding an injured kitten.
Messy white hair.
Blue eyes.
Oversized hoodie under scrubs.
Tiny paw-print bandaid on his cheek.
Surrounded by like six different animals at once like a Disney princess blessed by God personally.
Tim:.............................
Damian watched the soul leave Drake’s body in real time.
Hook.
Line.
Sinker.
Excellent.
Danny: “Oh! Hi! You here to volunteer?”
Tim: *Buffering*
Damian: “This is my older brother Timothy. He is single.”
Tim: “DAMIAN—”
Danny blinked. Then smiled. Tim nearly hit cardiac arrest.
Danny: “Cool. I’m Danny.”
Tim, internally: Danny. Danny. His NAME is Danny.
Damian could literally SEE the moment Drake got attached.
It was disgusting.
Five minutes later:
Tim was holding three puppies.
Danny was laughing at something he said.
Damian was sitting nearby with the satisfaction of a man orchestrating political warfare successfully.
Grayson arrived thirty minutes later and immediately sensed evil.
Dick: “Why is Tim staring at that veterinarian like he just witnessed the second coming?”
Damian, calmly feeding a rabbit: “The plan progresses smoothly.”
Dick: “The WHAT.”
Meanwhile Jason wandered in, took one look at Tim, and started cackling.
Jason: “OH MY GOD. Replacement’s got a crush.”
Tim: “I do NOT.”
Danny, from across the room: “Tim can you hand me the antiseptic?”
Tim: already halfway across the clinic before the sentence finished.
Jason collapsed against the wall laughing.
Steph found out in under 24 hours.
Steph: “So let me get this straight. Damian found a pretty vet, realized he was too young, and reassigned the crush to Tim?”
Damian: “Correct.”
Steph: “And Tim actually fell for it?”
Damian: “Drake has the survival instincts of wet paper.”
Tim, in the background, googling: “How to impress veterinarian ethically.”
Bruce found out three days later when Tim voluntarily woke up before noon to “visit the shelter.”
Bruce: deeply concerned (i would be too)
Alfred, meanwhile, had already figured everything out.
Alfred: “Master Damian appears quite invested in Master Timothy’s love life.”
Bruce: “…why.”
Alfred: “Because the young veterinarian resembles a woodland fae creature specifically engineered to appeal to your sons.”
Bruce: “…I see.”
Alfred: “Frankly, sir, I’m surprised Master Jason has not proposed yet as well.”
Jason, walking by:
“I’M THINKING ABOUT IT.”
The worst part?
Danny genuinely WAS Tim’s exact type.
Sleep-deprived disaster? Check
Kind to animals? Check
Looks like he hasn’t slept in three business days? Check
Accidentally funny? Check
Mysterious weird vibes? Check
Probably haunted? Check
Tim never stood a chance.
Damian watched the disaster unfold like a proud parent.
Because if HE couldn’t marry the Goddess of a vet—then at least he could secure visitation rights through Drake.
If there is one thing that Damian is afraid of, it's his mother and grandfather going after Danny.
Danny is one of the few normal people Damian has ever met that he actually likes to spend time with. And one of the only ones that can stand to spend time with him.
They've only been dating for a few months but already Damian knows that he loves Danny. He just hasn't gotten up the courage to explain the whole... Former assassin thing. Or the son of Batman thing. Or being Robin. Or that he maybe doesn't want to be Robin anymore...
He has talked to him about med school though. Damian thinks he deserves some points for that.
Needless to say, Damian knows that he's hiding a huge part of his life from Danny. And the longer he goes without telling him, the more likely it is to blow up in his face.
So one night Damian asks Danny to come over to the Manor and have dinner with him. He asked Alfred to help him make dinner for Danny as a way of hopefully smoothing over what he was about to tell him.
But Danny never shows. And he doesn't answer his phone when Damian tries to call him.
Immediately Damian is panicking. Even when they fight they never go no contact. Gotham is a dangerous city, they promised each other that they would always respond to a text or call no matter how angry they were with each other.
Instantly Damian suspects the al Ghuls.
And he's correct. Talia wasn't sure exactly what to make of Damian's paramour. He's quite handsome, with ice blue eyes and unruly black hair. His fashion choices could use a bit of work, but she can see why her son might be drawn to the young man.
But what perplexes her is that she has very theatrically kidnapped him... And he seems completely unbothered by this fact.
They are sitting together at a small table with tea and biscuits surrounded by league assassins and the boy is happily munching away on the biscuits without a care in the world. His innocent eyes taking in the people around them and giving them a kind smile.
"So, you're Damian's mom, right?" The boy asks.
"I am his mother, yes..."
"Yeah, I can tell. He looks just like you. Pretty and dangerous." The boy smiles at her.
Talia can admit that she's a bit flattered. Usually people go on and on about how her son resembles his father. It's nice to know that at least someone sees her in his features.
"You are Daniel Fenton." Not a question.
"Yup! Although I prefer Danny if you don't mind. Only people who want to kill me call me Daniel."
Talia smiled darkly, "and what makes you think I don't want to kill you."
The boy, Danny, just blinks at her and cocks his head in consideration. "Just a feeling," he says.
Before Talia can say more her son bursts into the room adorned in his Robin gear.
"Mother!" He cries frantically. "Release Danny at once!"
Before Talia can respond Danny laughs. "Oh, come on, Angel. Your mom is just looking out for you. We're all friends here."
Danny then takes a sip of the tea. Oh dear, Talia perhaps should have thought twice about brewing poison tea. It's one thing to poison her son's paramour when they are alone. Doing it with Damian in the room will likely result in her son not talking to her for a very long time.
But nothing happens. Well, nothing except for the wide smile that Danny makes when he looks over at Talia and exclaims " Oh my Ancients, I LOVE Belladonna tea! How did you know?"
Perhaps this boy is worthy of marrying into the family after all.
@nagarajas
Dany/Bruce, Magenta, “To Tooms at last to Tooms at last We climb the Upward Way. And young Rhody Mccordy goes to die on the Brridge at Tooms today”
!!CONTENT WARNING, GUN VIOLENCE, OPEN ENDED (but come on, it's Danny)
“The hostage is still with Two-Face,” the police radio hummed.
Hostage.
As if Harvey’s attention was on some anonymous stranger and not Bruce’s lover. Somewhere in Bruce’s shed tux the weight of a ring in the breast pocket sat heavy. Would Bruce even have the chance to ask the question he had been so afraid of?
“Oracle,” Bruce barked.
He was too sharp, too harsh, but he hoped they understood. They knew too.
It was Danny.
They cared.
“Danny is taking all the attention. SWAT almost has the all the other hostages out, the ones we know of. Some cars they can’t get close to check,” Oracle answered.
The bridge was mess of smashed and overturned cars. There was no way that there weren’t fatalities. They just hoped to avoid more. But with Harvey.
The coin glinted against the search lights as it flipped again. How many flips had spared Danny now? Each one a promise that Two-Face would stay focused on Danny and let another batch of people go.
Bruce was still too far to stop the flip.
One more. Danny just needed one more toss to go his way.
Harvey caught the coin, smiled, and then shot Danny in the head.
Woops read this and then immediately went into a writing frenzy. thank you clock. hope you like it!
He hadn't been in the relationship for very long. It had only been one no —THREE years now? No no, maybe more like four at this point. Damn that was a lot longer than he thought it had gone on.
The point was that no, he hadn't told Bruce about his other powers yet. He’d meant to! He really did! But whenever he was around the other man he just fell into the his eyes... and that smile...
Well. It turns out time really does fly when you're having fun and all that. This was definitely the longest relationship he’d had in a while. It also didn't help that he didn't have much practice in telling others his secret.
He'd dated Sam on and off for a bit in college, and then during his years studying for his astrophysics doctorate he’d reconnected with Val and dated her for a while, and she also had also already known his secret. What could he say? He liked a competent woman who could kick his ass.
It had turned out he liked a competent man who could kick his ass too.
Vlad had somehow gotten him to agree to go to some ball with him in Gotham. Said he should "meet the people he'd be working for one day" or some BS. He knew he wasn't going to be an astronaut at that point, so he was working towards the next best thing: becoming one of people who sent the astronauts up in the first place.
Don't get him wrong! Danny would still be applying to NASA, but it wouldn't hurt to have backup plans in the statistical liklye case of being rejected. And while private ventures were one of the few other ways to get someone into orbit, he still hated nearly everyone in that room. for most of the evning he'd sulked in a corner and complained about Vlad and some other more nefarious billionaires to (unbeknownst to him at the time) one Brucie Wayne.
A man whom had found all his knowledge of other billionaires unsavory practices fascinating, and his insults hilarious. And the rest was history.
It turned out that “Brucie” Wayne was just his public persona to keep the paparazzi from looking into his private life —a move Danny respected— and that the man didn’t laugh very often for real when just existing as himself.
But that just made the times when he had Bruce snorting and giggling like a five year old all the better. He was one of the few people that could get a genuine cackle out of the philanthropic billionaire, a fact which he prided himself on.
His real smile was just that much more beautiful then the fake one he'd give to everyone who asked for an autograph, and Danny had learned to read which ones were fake and which ones weren't.
It had ALSO turned out that Bruce was a very... anxious man should we say. He liked to have emergency plans and backup emergency plans for those emergency plans. He was no Jazz, but he would bet money the man had SOME form of OCD or paranoia. Though to be fair Bruce was more likely then others to be kidnapped, threatened, ransomed, or held hostage then .
Like he said though, he loved a competent man, and the plans on plans on plans all factored DANNY into them. All the more mundane everyday plans too.
And as the younger kid who fell into his older sisters shadow, who had been belittled and made fun of for most of his childhood? Well, being remembered and put into those plans made him melt.
Seeing his name on an emergency plan among someone else's FIRST fucking priorities? Well, those plans may or may not make him swoon sometimes. And he may or may not keep some copies of those plans next to his his bed and kick his feet when he reads them. Maybe.
The point though!! Back to the point! It was so easy to get wrapped up in his thought when thinking about that gorgeous smile, and those clear sky blue, great-day-for-flying eyes….
THE POINT. right!! the point was.. he hadn't told Bruce about his former double life.
Currently Bruce thought he was a just a secret meta with minor ice powers (he'd had to give the overly anxious man something to chew on when he had realized that Danny's temperature ran always a too cold, his heart always too slow)
And so the fact he hadn't told him yet was a big problem.
Considering he had just been shot point blank in the head.
Jarred, woozy, and half conscious, (but not dead. Well. dead-ER) he could just hear the agonized mournful screaming of his love’s voice in the background of his hearing.
Bruce had probably seen the whole thing from the barrier the police had created, or from one of the news screens the helicopter cameras had captured.
Shit. those cameras could get fairly good zoom. No way he could just say Two-Face had missed and that he had passed out from the shock or something.
He could feel the blood streaming down his forehead from the entry wound as his body attempted to heal his brain. It was trying slowly sway the the bullet into leaving from the entrance like an uninvited houseguest.
He could hear Two-Face being beaten down by Batman, their city's own superhero. It was a BRUTAL takedown from what he could gauge
He couldn't see much, just the pavement directly in front of him from half lidded eyes. eyes that refused to listen to his ambitious ideas of opening up half another half centimeter so he could see more
He tasted blood in his mouth, and he could definitely, definitely smell the gunpowder hanging in the air from the recently used bullet.
Said bullet and some unsalvageable brain viscera made its way out of his head with a wet splelch.
He could still feel a sizable hole in his forehead, but knew it was just cosmetic at this point, his body having regrown the brain matter that was beyond repair.
With all the delicate, complex, and intensive work his ghost half had done, he wasn't surprised it had left the rest of the healing up to his normal immune system to finish up.
Just moments after the bullet made it comparatively undramatic exit, and his body started to listen to him again, the frickin BATMAN turned to his (perceptivly dead) body. And then clutched him close.
Oh.
Right.
It was always hard to see the ones you couldnt save, and even worse were the ones you were just moments way from rescuing, but lady luck still decided you took a few moments too many.
He still didn't know what he was going to do about the situation. Could he pass off the healing as another meta ability? Most people only had one right?
His first instinct was to speak up and reassure the (probably some sort of supernatural cryptid) hero, but before his lips would let him form words he heard–
“Danny, god– Danny. I'm so sorry. I–”
Between choked sobs and voice that was much too familiar, Danny didn't know what to do.
Batman was currently hunched over his form, cape blocking them both from search lights and stares. His shoulders were shaking, and his mouth clenched in agony and grief.
He could hardly process any of what had just been revealed.
All he really wanted was to see that beautiful smile again.
So while still probably in shock himself, Danny said the only thing he could think of with his still redeveloping brain.
Testing the muscles, he managed to form the world' smallest shit-eating grin on his face. Blood still dripping down his forehead, he said as coherently as he could manage:
@nagarajas
Dany/Bruce, Magenta, “To Tooms at last to Tooms at last We climb the Upward Way. And young Rhody Mccordy goes to die on the Brridge at Tooms today”
!!CONTENT WARNING, GUN VIOLENCE, OPEN ENDED (but come on, it's Danny)
“The hostage is still with Two-Face,” the police radio hummed.
Hostage.
As if Harvey’s attention was on some anonymous stranger and not Bruce’s lover. Somewhere in Bruce’s shed tux the weight of a ring in the breast pocket sat heavy. Would Bruce even have the chance to ask the question he had been so afraid of?
“Oracle,” Bruce barked.
He was too sharp, too harsh, but he hoped they understood. They knew too.
It was Danny.
They cared.
“Danny is taking all the attention. SWAT almost has the all the other hostages out, the ones we know of. Some cars they can’t get close to check,” Oracle answered.
The bridge was mess of smashed and overturned cars. There was no way that there weren’t fatalities. They just hoped to avoid more. But with Harvey.
The coin glinted against the search lights as it flipped again. How many flips had spared Danny now? Each one a promise that Two-Face would stay focused on Danny and let another batch of people go.
Bruce was still too far to stop the flip.
One more. Danny just needed one more toss to go his way.
Harvey caught the coin, smiled, and then shot Danny in the head.
nagarajas
But actually perfect because Danny can survive a bullet to thr head but can his Danny identity?? Bruce is wayy too worried to possibly know about intangibility. Danny lives but Danny dies and its sooooo much worse than murder.
clockwayswrites
Exactly! Does Danny "die" and give up everything he has with Bruce and the family? Or does he out himself as a meta? How much attention does that gather? Esp if early on and metas are still debated. "BRUCE WAYNE DATES A META" The daily planter reports. "Fenton survived death, but can their relationship?"
OKAY BUT Clark, still new to being Superman, freaking out about this because this could change everything, someone like Bruce dating a meta. His status going up against Lex's. Lex's bitter response to it.
There are those talk shows with a bunch of women in a half circle debating their relationship, if it was fair for Danny to not reveal that he was a meta before they stared dating.
A company stops a contract with Wayne Enterprises over it. The internet resorts to bitter name calling and doxxing that Babs and Tim work to wipe from the record, even for the bigots that they hate.
And then... and then the government comes for Danny. And suddenly it's a topic on a whole different level.
roanawayspoons
I'm choosing to believe this Harvey is an ex of Bruce's and is being driven partially by jealousy
Imagine if Danny started with the 'die, give everything up' route; but then he sees Bruce's grief and he can't. He can't leave Bruce to suffer that. Not when there's another option. Even if it'll be harder in it's own ways, even if the GIW still terrifies Danny to no end; he just can't, won't leave Bruce to suffer alone in his stead.
Imagine. Bruce is called in as BRUCE to identify the body. And it's Bruce's grief and how he's breaking right there over the body that changes everything.
And Bruce turns away, fingers still in Danny’s cold ones even as Bruce is supposed to go. Dick is there, hand on Bruce's shoulder, talking softly to him. Maybe Cass too, the silent support. And these are the people that Danny loves and wants to call family forever.
And so Danny gives up on holding off the healing and instead pushes it through. And it hurts Ancients it hurts so much! Is fingers tight around Bruce's moments before Danny is arching off the slab with a gasp and then a scream and by the time it's done, he's alive and wrapped up in Bruce's coat and his arms and officially alive again.
I think that eridian scientists would really enjoy testing Grace's ability to see. I feel like echolocation is Comprehensive but Limited in range. Like, sure, through doors and walls but only up to uhhh maybe 50m? (i dont know how to guess scale in space scenes. 100m?)
In the book somewhere in the tunnel scenes (so I hear) rocky freaks out that grace returns later than he agreed because he slept in. That implies that rocky couldn't hear the ship from his part of the tunnel.
Compared with humans that can see for MILES unless something gets in the way.
They're absolutely chucking lampposts in all kinds of weird places to see if Grace can see them from the edge of his biodome at night.
I haven't seen anyone do this yet and I think it is a painful void in the Project Hail Mary fandom. Guys. Put Grace in a space ball on Erid and have him break down Rocky's door and roll around knocking things over. Cmon guys.
"Wow Rock you live like this? Junk all over the floor and parts everywhere? Very messy."
pixelskylines
2087
tangentwithtanner
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
blakekathryn
