Autism is being wayyyyyy to romanticized so here are a few things I struggle with as a diagnosed autistic person
(I‘ve been diagnosed for about 5-6 years now and went to therapy treatment ever since)
-literally not being able to get trough a school day
On Bad days I will make it less than an hour before being overstimulated or having a shutdown at worst. If nothing helps to get me out of it I have to leave early, thus I always struggle with keeping up, especally now that my final exams approach.
-looking back at meltdowns or moments of overstimulation and cringing haaaaard at myself
When I‘m overstimulated I really struggle to regulate my emotions and my actions so it usually results in me crying or screaming or lashing out at people close to me (there have been instances of me just screaming they should k!ll me at the top of my lungs for idk how long). I hate those moments the most. I used to get into a Lot of arguments growing up because of meltdowns. My parents used to call me dramatic for it before the diagnosis and I was generally labeld a drama queen or crybaby before I went to therapy. I‘ve never been able to fully shake that off to this day. Ofcourse the oversimulation and meltdowns themselves feel really bad, but to me the aftermath is worse.
-Others struggeling to understand me
This was a lot worse when I was younger, for example I would cry because I was overstimulated and my parents wouldn‘d get why I was reacting so extremely, but obviously felt the need to make me stop. When the couldn’t, they would result to yelling at me and hitting me on the head, that obviously made it worse and I endet up not being allowed to leave my room for the rest of the day. Those were the worst case stiuations, that hasn‘t happend in years, but my parents still don’t get my behavior sometimes so they don’t really know how to help. I also lost a Lot of friendships to me comming off as rude or wierd.
-Hyperfixations literally consuming all of my braincells
Usually I like having hyperfixations, but from time to time I will get one that is so intense I physically can not tear my thounghs away. When that happens I become so restless I‘m actually suffering from it. It’s also really bad when I have to do something else like school, work, ect. I physically can not focus and it’s frustrating.
These are all PERSONAL experiences. Autism is a spectrum and everyone has a different experience and different problems with it, even though some might be more common than others.
To come to a conclusion, I really wanted to show that autism is a valid disabillity, not just a quirky personality traid. Living with autism has it’s special challanges and while there may be nice things to it, it is actively making life harder for me and the people putting up with me.
(Edit: wrote this back in feburary but never made up my mind to post and today my brain said fuck it)
Edit.2.: just realized I posted this the first day of disabillity pride month so… happy disability pride month 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
germansingergirl
titsay
snowghoul
gracieabrams
izzy806
origamiaround
ellievsbear
