Alex

No

[invaderxan]

[starcures]

new boot goofin

[kaijutegu]

Did you know there's a gap in my baseboards? I sure didn't!

Fortunately she's easy to lure out, because hers is the greed described in the bible. She knows her name but the problem is that verbal recall is never, ever going to be as valuable as a warm, humid hole (because ofc the dishwasher was going when this happened), so I had to lure her gluttonous ass out with a reptilink.

Anyways, I'm stopping at the dollar store for a pool noodle after work because this hole needs filling and I would prefer to be the one to fill it- not the damn lizard.

[kaijutegu]

THWARTED! I have THWARTED her nefarious plan of going back in the hole!!

[bethanydelleman]

Important research for a story I'm writing! Not real life, never real life.

You are transported back in time and into the body of a young noblewoman in the 1400s. Your parents have married you off to an awful, abusive, rapist husband whom literally no one else would marry despite him being very high nobility because he's that terrible. You successfully produce a baby boy and then plan to murder this man for the good of everyone and yourself. Here is the question: do you think you could murder him in a way that is undetectable to the historical people around you? Note: they aren't stupid, you are the prime suspect as the battered wife AND you can't just say poison. Where are you going to buy poison? Do you know anything about poison actually? NO GOOGLING! You were sent back without a plan!

Do you think you could murder someone in the 1400s and get away with it with your modern know-how?

Yes, I totally have a plan (tell me for research purposes)

No, I realize that I'm very uninformed about murder

I have some ideas but I'm not sure they would work

Voting ended onJun 18

Edit: my notes are full of murder. I love you all

Edit: to clarify about the poison, you can use poison if you actually know how to identify it, I'm saying you can't just go "Poison!" with no knowledge about poison. Buying it probably means they know that poison and you're caught. Your personal knowledge when you read this post is all you have.

Another point of clarity: You went through all that trouble to have a baby without modern medicine so you could get the sweet house after your husband died. That's why you can't be caught. No disappearing.

Edit again: Air embolisms are going on a high shelf because the syringe won't be invented for 350 years. Prove to me that you could make one from scratch, lol

I promise to stop making edits (lol): I left the country vague because I just wanted to see ideas for modern vs. past. Whatever place you are most knowledgeable about

Oh no, she edits again: This man is like 25, not very old. He's not dying of natural causes or even alcohol consumption any time soon. Imagine a university student liver.

[bethanydelleman]

Due to way too many people thinking that they, in the body of a noblewoman, can suffocate a drunk nobleman no problem, or push him down the stairs, I had my character try this. Unfortunately, he is way stronger than her and was not suffocate-able. You know people thrash if you cover their airways? Drunk or asleep doesn't stop that. He also became increasingly violent with alcohol. This is a very dangerous plan, in my opinion.

I have started to really wonder if the people suggesting this have ever fought a man as a woman. I have three brothers and I wrestled with them a lot as a kid. They are way stronger than me. They started to be able to overpower me pretty young and I was six years older. Maybe I'm just a weak person, I'm not very athletic, but neither would Miss Noblewoman here be athletic.

I don't know, maybe this isn't everyone's experience, but I find the confidence in this sort of plan baffling. Also, if you try to push him down the stairs and he catches you? You are going down those stairs. You are dead. Game over.

Maybe it's because I didn't specify an age and everyone is imagining this guy as like, old and bloated. He's young and healthy. He will fight back. He's violent! Alcohol and violent man are not a mix you should encourage!

Unrelated note: You aren't making the food. Nobility. Nobility is an important part of this equation.

[64mpg]

i don’t know how people care about sports but it’s okay

[iamoutofideas]

it’s really not.

[64mpg]

i’m tired of pretending it’s okay. we have to kill them

[spookberry]

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

[schnuffel-danny]

OK bisexual (czech)

[spookberry]

Hell yeah 🤙

[the-ghost-king]

Biczechual

[importantcatpics]

[rickybabyboy]

secret methods

secret reasons

[onlytiktoks]

[doctorvtumbls]

Only valid form of locker room talk. Anyone who says someone saying bigoted shit is "just locker room talk" is lying and they should be dragged for it.

[elodieunderglass]

(They’re a coxswain for a men’s rowing team and coxswains can be of any gender, provided they don’t weigh much.)

[meirimerens]

conversation i just had

[by-ilmater]

YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU CAN CRAFT A COMPLETE SENTENCE! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU USE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF COMMAS! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOUR PROSE IS GOOD AND RIGHT! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION!

[beardedmrbean]

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[transmechanicus]

If you have a PhD or an MD you can say shit like “Doctor’s orders” and you sound authoritative and powerful but if you’re a step short of those and you say “Master’s orders” you sound cringe as hell and possibly corrupted by the One Ring, this sucks

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[zoesupreme]

I have started following the journey of a German soccer fan in the US for the world cup

[zoesupreme]

[zoesupreme]

[zoesupreme]

[zoesupreme]

@laeffy the euros have found buc-ee's

[zoesupreme]

[stylographic-blue-rhapsody]

“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker

[stylographic-blue-rhapsody]

I am going to unfold all of your clean laundry and leave it in a pile on your bed

[heywriters]

Interaction witnessed at post office today:

Elderly lady mail clerk and young customer are chatting. Customer says, "oh! I'm wearing my boss's coat right now, give me something weird to put in the pocket!" Others within earshot all start looking for something because, hey, important quest. Mail clerk finally reaches under counter, pulls out a large roll of labels, and tears one off.

Twas this