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Accidental Marriage

This was requested by sweet anon awhile ago, hope you´ll like it, hun, it turned a rather long one!

Request: It´s a dwarf custom to claim a partner through the bite, a bite that leaves marks of teeth and unconsciously the reader bites Thorin in a fight and accidentally becomes married to him.

Pairing: Thorin x reader

Warning: angst, language, eventual fluff

Masterlist

How in the world did you get yourself into this mess? Dwarves and their stupid customs, how you were supposed to know that claiming one´s partner was through a bite that left a red, bleeding mark at other´s neck, some sort of alpha/omega thingy. Sighing you flobbed onto your bedroll rubbing your face groaning silently. Typical, you started to wonder was there a magnet on you that sought out troubles and once it found one, it draws you right into the middle of it. Crossing your legs under you leaning onto your hands while resting elbows on your knees you stared straight ahead deep in thoughts when Thorin´s deep voice got your attention and automatically you turned your head in that direction and regretted it immediately.

Thorin´s piercing blue eyes glared at your way, his gaze so intense your breath got caught up in your throat and feeling intimated you shrunk turning your eyes off of him. Great, he hated you even more now.

You avoided his gaze for the rest of the evening, lying on your spot looking up to the darkening sky when you felt a presence next to you and turning slightly your head you saw Bilbo coming to sit beside you with a bowl of food in his hand.

“I thought you might be hungry,” He said softly handing over the bowl that you accepted with gratitude.

“Thank you, Bilbo,” you smiled taking the bowl of stew and started to eat but hobbit´s quiet question gained your attention.

“So, did I understood that situation from earlier right? You and Thorin are now married?” he sounded little unsure as Bilbo himself didn´t have the knowledge of dwarves and their culture or customs either and he didn´t witness the actual scene, he was just informed that you and Thorin were now married. Sighing you hang your head for a bit before lifted your gaze at him and nodding slowly.

“How did that happen?” the halfling quipped with the high pitched tone of voice making you shush him so others wouldn´t hear your conversation.

“It´s a long story,” you said lowly staring at your bowl absentmindedly.

“I´m not going anywhere,” Bilbo hummed looking at you curiously and sighing you turned fully to face him to share your little accidental situation with him.

“Well….it all started when…”

***

Thorin was glancing at your way now and then from the seat at the end of the table making you feel nervous, apparently, he wasn´t so keen on taking a human girl along with them to this quest but Gandalf was pretty adamant about it. Why you had no idea, you were shorter than average human causing you to keep yourself as invisible as possible. Other humans looked at you like you were freak of nature, something out of ordinary and for that reason to be avoided by pretty much everyone. And right now you wanted to give the whole kingdom for that invincibility because the way Thorin was glaring at you was nerve wrecking and shifting awkwardly at your seat you let him know he made you uncomfortable.

“I say it one more time Gandalf, she´s not coming,” Thorin almost growled at the wizard who just huffed puffing out smoke from his pipe looking at Thorin like he wasn´t even the least impressed the way Thorin tried to talk to him.

“And I say she will be more than useful to us so she´s coming and that´s final,” Gandalf spoke glancing at your way before stared Thorin down making the dwarf king groan and turn away feeling irritated.

“Have it your way old man, but if she gets in a way or becomes a burden, she´s out. We don´t have the luxury to babysit a human girl who can´t even defend herself,” Thorin said with a low tone of voice and you could hear how angry he was losing the argument against Gandalf. But what he said hurt your feelings more than you were willing to admit, fighting against the tears that were burning behind your hazel colored eyes you stood up and walked briskly out of the hobbit´s home to get some fresh air. Damn dwarves and their stubbornness. Sitting down on the bench you took a deep breath closing your eyes trying to calm down, the hell you were gonna give them the satisfaction of making you cry and prove them that you were weak as they already thought you were. The door opening and closing made you glance over your shoulder and you saw one of the dwarves coming your way.

“Mind if I join you my dear?” the dwarf asked friendly manner and after you nodded he sat down next to you gazing at the nightly scenery of the Shire in front of you two.

“I have to apologize on behalf of Thorin. He´s a good lad although his manners need little more grooming,” the male spoke softly causing you to chuckle nevertheless as you took a side glance at the dwarf.

“I noticed,” you whispered amusingly.

“Balin, at your service,” he introduced himself bowing his head and you offered him a warm smile in return.

“Y/N, at yours,” you hummed before turning your gaze back to the sky.

“He will get used to your presence, just give him time. What he has gone through, he doesn´t trust people who aren´t his kin,” Balin patted your knee and getting up he made his way back to inside leaving you to your thoughts. But if you had known just how much time he was going to need, you would have thrown the towel and leave it that.

As the weeks went by it didn´t matter if you were at the back of the group, avoiding Thorin every step of the way, you somehow always found yourself in a situation where you were butting heads with him so hard you were sure you were going to turn into a ram one of these days. And you also started to think if Thorin did that deliberately, annoying you, belittling you and finding always something to bicker about like he was asking for a fight. Although you remember your mother saying “Love makes even horses kick you” you weren´t so sure if this was the case this time. Thorin was picking a fight with you because he hated your gut to the core, that you were sure about.

As the company stopped for the night and started to set up a camp you saw Thorin making his way over to you. Bracing yourself for another fight you clenched your jaw feeling the familiar fire starting to burn in your veins, you watched as Thorin came to a halt in front of you staring you down with blazing eyes but you weren’t going to back down.

“If you can handle it, why don´t you go and find some firewood, that should be easy enough of a task for you,” he spoke with his deep kingly voice, and you could almost hear the venomous timbre in it causing you to wince at that.

“Why do you treat me with such hatred? I have done nothing to earn that kind of behavior from you,” you heard yourself asking before you could stop yourself. Thorin´s eyes flashed dangerously as he narrowed his gaze at you almost baring his teeth stepping closer leaning forward and whispering in your ear.

“You´re here, although I didn´t want you here. That´s enough reason for me,” his voice dripped with such hatred you found yourself shaking as you stared over his shoulder dead ahead unable to come up with any reply back. With a huff, Thorin glanced at your pale face irritation plain to see on his figure and finally, he turned away walking back to Dwalin and Balin who were sitting nearby rocks.

Fisting your hands you grumbled something under your breath before turning on your heels and walking down toward the small forest to collect the firewood.

“Who he thinks he is? That pompous, arrogant, high all mighty excuse of a king…” you muttered anger starting to rise inside of you as you went on your task not noticing that you were wandering too far from the camp.

“I swear one of these days I´m gonna smack that arrogant grin off of his face, so help me god,” you grunted too busy to dwell in your anger to see that you´ve been followed. Not until you heard a sound of snap coming from behind you, you turned around and came face to face with a very angry, very hungry looking predator who was staring at you bearing its teeth, a low growl coming from its throat.

“Oh great…I never gonna hear the end of this one,” you sighed backing up slowly keeping your eyes on the animal trying to figure out how to get out of this mess without Thorin learning about it. If only you had your sword but no, you had left it on the camp. Another issue he was going to be snarling at you, if you were gonna make it back alive that is. Suddenly the beast lunged forward with a growl and you twirled around dropping the firewood on the ground starting to run as fast as you could like the devil itself was there to get you…well, in a way it was.

“Why does shit like this keep happening to me?!” you panted while running, nick of time dodging a low branch, hopping over big roots avoiding being drip over and glancing over your shoulder seeing that the animal was closing in. When you turned your attention back to ahead of you, you saw a thick pile of wood that apparently overflowing river had some time ago piled on the river bank. Dashing toward it you dived right in, the gap was large enough for you but fortunately too small for the animal to follow you.

Panting you crawled in the middle of the pile to keep as much distance between the beast and you. Dropping to your back trying to catch your breath you could hear how angry the animal was that you were able to slip away from its grasp.

“Sorry buddy, no human snack for you today,” you chuckled but yelled when it reached out between the wood with its paw and was able to grab your arm. Animal´s claws tore your skin making your arm bleed quite heavily but that was about it, and growling with frustration the animal turned clearly thinking it was too much of trouble to try and get you out of the pile of wood. Sighing in relief when you heard the animal walking away, you turned on your stomach and crawled out only to be met by a pair of boots that was in front of you. You recognized those boots right away and swallowing you slowly lifted your gaze, following those strong legs, coming to an short halt at the belt buckle as you wondered what he would look like from this angle if he was naked but with the shake of your head continued up all the way to his handsome, furrowed angry looking face.

“Thorin, what a surprise to see you here,” you nervously chuckled and you saw his brows making an even deeper frown, the corner of his lips twisted in a way you knew he was only seconds away from exploding at you.

“What do you think you were doing?” Thorin´s voice was quiet, deep as he was trying his best not to yell at you.

“Ummm…I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this,” you quipped looking around seeing Fili, Kili, Dwalin, Gloin, and Bifur standing little further behind looking at you almost smirking, and you just knew… you were in trouble, again. What a shocker really.

“I can´t wait to hear about your reasonable explanation for the fact that you disappeared making us all worried and the next thing we see is you under a pile of wood while a hungry bear tries to catch you. So, please…explain that to me…reasonably,” Thorin´s tone of voice was thick from anger and you could hear the hint of sarcasm in it. Sighing you stood up dusting your clothes when Thorin noticed your bloodied, injured arm and tilting his head back sighing while closing his eyes for a second, he then grabbed your other arm and started to drag you toward the camp.

“Unbelievable,” Thorin muttered under his breath ignoring your whines behind him how he should slow down because you barely could keep up with him. The rest of the company turned their attention to their king and arched their brows when they saw Thorin dragging you behind him toward Oin who was blinking at the sight.

“Is there a problem?” Oin asked slowly as he watched Thorin make you sit down in front of him.

“Yes, there is,” Thorin growled his sapphire blue eyes blazing with rage he was feeling at the moment and frankly, you failed to understand why exactly he was so furious at you.

“And that would be…?” Oin shifted his gaze back and forward first to you and then back to Thorin.

“Her,” Thorin´s answer was short, precise and cold as ice causing you to shrink at your seat at first but slowly your anger started to lift its ugly head. How dared he! You didn´t deserve to be treated like this like you were nothing more than nuisance he was forced to tolerate.

“What?” you whipped your head so fast that your hair actually hit Oin in the face making him grunt at the sharp sensation on his cheek.

“Let´s face it, you can´t do even the simplest task without getting into trouble. I´m still wondering why the hell I agreed to take you with us,” Thorin spoke lowly glaring at you pointing his index finger on your face and that was it, you had enough.

“What the heck is your problem mister?! It´s like no matter what I do, I end up doing it wrong in your opinion! Do you have a personal grudge against me, is that it??” you shouted standing up facing him head-on.

Thorin just stared at you unimpressed by your outburst, his glare intensified as his facial expression darkened every second that went by and his muscles on his face twisted indicating he was ready to explode.

“How dare you speak to me like that, don´t forget the only reason you are still here is that I allow it!” Thorin snarled leaning slightly forward locking your gaze with him. Anger and the rush of adrenaline because of it was coursing through his veins made him forgot any civilized manners toward a female party in front of him.

You blinked at that, mouth gaping like you couldn´t believe he had just said that. He allowed you to be here? He was more of a dick than you gave him credit for.

“You allow it?” you repeated so slowly his sentence like you were talking to a retard that it actually threw him out of balance for a moment and for a tiny second you almost could see his regret when he realized what he had said to you but then just like that, it was gone.

“As this is my and my company´s quest, you are just an extra from Gandalf´s behalf. If it were up to me, you would have never go with us in the first place,” Thorin narrowed his eyes bringing his face so close to you, you were now breathing the same air.

“Well…too bad, you are stuck with me buddy boy, so you can just as well get used to it and the fact I tend to mess everything up,” you smirked your voice dripping with hatred and sarcasm but Thorin wasn´t amused.

“No you won´t mess everything up because from now on, you´re not going to do anything else than sit back and look pretty while we do the tasks,” Thorin smirked back and he knew he had just poked the hornet´s nest the most dangerous and stupid way possible when he saw your eyes flashing furiously. You forgot at that moment that your arm was hurting from the wound that bear had inflicted on you when you heard Thorin´s reply. With an angry scream, you lunged at him causing him to drip over and fall to his back to the ground with a loud grunt escaping from him.

Your hands were on his throat but before you could do anything Thorin recovered from his fall and grabbing you by the waist tossed you off of him making you land on your back at the ground with a yelp causing a cloud of light brown dust puff up to the air. The commotion gained everyone´s attention and worriedly they watched as their king fought against you in front of them but no one dared to go between as they didn´t want that built up rage to be targeted at them.

“Sit back and look pretty?? Seriously! You do hate me with a vengeance don´t you?” you growled as you leaped toward him targeting at his neck.

“You have no idea,” Thorin responded gruffly as he dodged your second attack and reaching out tried to grab you so he could pin you down and wait until you would calm down. But you saw his move and jumped at the last second to the side avoiding his hands twirling around on your heels causing pebbles and dust rise up to the air once again with a rustling sound. You stared at him under your lashes determined to get your hands on his neck, that way you would have upper hand in this fight.

Thorin straightened his back walking slowly around you like wolf sizing up its prey trying to figure out what your next move would be. Meanwhile, Gandalf had appeared from his little walks and was more than little stunned to walk into a scene like this one. Leaning on his staff he bowed down and whispered to Dwalin and Balin who were sitting at the fallen tree trunk watching the scene while smoking their pipes.

“Do I even want to know?” Gandalf asked quietly with a low tone of voice making Balin chuckle.

“They are just letting out some steam, it has been bubbling up quite a while now. It was only matter of time when it would explode on them,” white-bearded dwarf smiled while his brother snickered beside him.

“He is up to his ears in love with the lass but he´s just too damn stubborn to admit it, so he pretends that he hates her,” Dwalin hummed and Gandalf sighed sitting down next to Balin taking off his hat making himself comfortable, this could take awhile.

You two circled around each other like a couple of vultures glaring one another and the second you saw your opportunity you seized it without a second thought. Jumping on his back you grounded yourself against his sturdy and strong upper body making it difficult for him to toss you off this time. As Thorin cursed out loud trying to get you off, suddenly you opened your mouth and bit down while growling onto his neck making him yell out loud because of the pain you were causing by sinking your teeth in his neck so hard you actually broke the skin and you could taste the blood on your tongue.

When that happened every dwarf on the company jumped to their feet shocked at what they witnessed and all of the sudden you were dealing with not one but five dwarves trying to rip you off of Thorin´s back. You didn´t have the slightest idea what you had just done but you were adamant not to let go no matter how many dwarves were tangling in your clothes.

The sharp pain forced Thorin to drop to his knees and closing his eyes he couldn´t believe this had just happened. Obviously, you had no idea what a bite like this meant in dwarvish culture but Thorin knew it far too well. Grunting he opened his eyes grinding his teeth together reaching back with his hand and letting it rest on top your head for a minute. It almost felt like gentle gesture, and it sure looked like a tender moment for outsiders.

“Get your teeth off my neck before I snap yours,” Thorin growled with so deep and angered tone of voice you were compelled to do as he ordered. Letting go you felt as Fili and Kili guided you away from their uncle clearly worried looks on their faces. Swiping your mouth you saw the back of your hand getting smudged by the drop of blood and felt horrified. Did you just take a bite out of Thorin? You hadn´t even thought about what you were doing, you just did it.

“Please tell me I didn´t…” you whispered as Fili helped you to sit down and took a look at your arm.

“Yes….you did….” he said quietly his gaze fixed upon your arm. Was there something he was reluctant to tell you?

“Why are you so gloomy? It was just a small bite, it´s not like it´s going to kill him,” you huffed at the brother’s odd behavior. Sighing Fili finally lifted his eyes on you and the look on his face was deadly serious.

“I know you don´t know the customs of our kin, but this was quite serious act on your part,” Fili spoke making you worry but the same time also curious and tilting your head you asked Fili the question that was pondering in your mind at the moment.

“What exactly did I do then? Has the bite to the neck some significance in your culture?” you weren´t sure if you wanted to know but something told you it had big significance.

“Am I in trouble or something?” you continued when Fili or Kili didn´t at first give you an answer.

“Well, that depends how you look at it,” Kili coughed looking little bashful rubbing his neck nervously causing you to lift your brows all the way to your hairline.

“The bite that leaves a red mark on the neck is our way of claiming our partner and getting married,” Fili explained slowly watching your facial expression turning from stunned to surprise and ultimately into pure shock.

“Married?!” you almost yelled falling from your spot where you were sitting and both Durin brothers rushed to steady you.

“But…I…wha…why….holy shit…” you studdered staring blankly ahead trying to come up something that made even remotely sense but your brain was failing you fast.

“Married…” you whined hiding your face in your hands causing them to chuckle at your antics.

“It´s not the end of the world you know,” Kili spoke trying to cheer you up but the glare you gave him made him shut his mouth quickly enough.

When you dared to take a peek at the other side of the camp, you froze as Thorin´s ice piercing glare met yours as he was sitting on the rock while Oin tended his bleeding bite mark on his neck.

“No, just the end of my world,” you muttered to yourself swallowing hard.

***

Bilbo stared at you as you finished your tale unable to figure out what to say at first.

“Have you talk to Thorin yet?” he then asked causing you to almost burst into laughter.

“No, I haven´t. He is more than pissed off with me at the moment so, I keep my distance for now,” you sighed taking a bite of your food while Bilbo thought how to help you.

“Did Thorin bit you?” Biblo suddenly asks curiously and you turned your attention back to the halfling raising your brow.

“No, why?”

“Just wondering. So it´s still valid no matter who bites who?” Bilbo continued and you had a hard time to follow his logic on this.

“It´s valid alright, by biting him I apparently claimed him as mine so it´s now up to Thorin how to proceed,” you explained.

“Up to Thorin?”

“Yes, does he want to give me the marriage braids now on the road or does he want to wait until we reach Erebor. But before that, he is supposed to give me the mark of claiming too to complete the rite. And there´s no taking it back as dwarves are very proud race and dishonoring that action by calling it off is reconsidered disrespectful for their sacred rites,” you spoke quietly as you remembered what Balin had told you looking up to the sky feeling utterly lost.

You didn´t know it, but Thorin was fighting the same feelings inside his mind. He was furious when you had bitten him but the same time he was thrilled at the idea that you had just claimed him as yours even if you didn´t know it. So he had quite the dilemma on his hands, as he had recognized you as his One a long time ago but was too scared to admit it and so he had acted coldly, almost hostile toward you but no matter what he did, or what he said to you, the feeling around his heart kept getting tighter to the point where he was sure his heart was going to burst out from his chest.

He found himself fiercely protective of you, as dwarrowdams were so rare, male dwarves cherished their Ones when they found it, protected them even with their own lives if had to and made the female feel like they were the very center of their partner´s universe. But the way you constantly got yourself into trouble was giving him a headache, it was uncanny how talented you were finding trouble wherever you went.

Grunting he got up from his seat and walked toward you as you were sitting with Bilbo unaware Thorin approaching you. When he got in front of you he could see how your face went pale as you gazed timidly at his face not sure why he was there.

“Can I talk to you for a bit?” Thorin asked softly tilting his head slightly. Nodding your head you stood up and walked behind him following him behind the treeline to get some privacy. You two walked in silence when you found yourself under a weeping willow and Thorin stopped at the lowest thick branch. Without saying anything he took you by surprise taking hold of your waist lifting you up making you sit at the branch.

You blinked at him at first but then he hoisted himself up to sit next to you and before you knew it, he was sitting behind you while you leaned against his broad chest his arms securely wrapped around you.

“What are you doing?” you quipped slight panic in your voice.

“I needed a moment with you,” Thorin whispered breathing down your neck making you shiver. You felt his soft lips grazing your sensitive skin on your pulse point, his trimmed dark beard scratching the neck and you couldn´t help but let out a quiet moan as your head fell back to rest on his shoulder.

“Let me show you how it´s done properly,” Thorin purred against your neck the tip of his tongue flicking the spot making your breathing to hitch from the expectation what was to come. Thorin tightened his hold on you opening his mouth and started sucking your pulse point gently at first and when he heard your whimper, from the depts of his chest rose the most primal animalistic growl and bearing his teeth he sunk them down on your neck breaking the skin making you bleed.

Cry escaped from you when you felt his teeth on your neck and grabbing his arm you tried to bare the sharp sudden pain but the pain soon faded away as Thorin soothed the fresh wound by kissing and licking it. Slowly he kissed his way to your temple caressing your arm humming quietly.

“You alright amrâlimê?” he asked fond smile on his face as he waited for your response.

“I´m alright, although the pain surprised me,” you chuckled as Thorin hide his nose into your hair with a content feeling of you being finally in his arms.

“So I guess this means we are officially married then,” you glanced over your shoulder inquisitively hearing or rather feeling Thorin´s deep chuckle against your back as he lifted his head gazing into to your shining eyes.

“I guess we are…accidental marriage, not quite what I had in mind when I agreed to take you with us but I´m not complaining,” Thorin said amusingly pecking your nose making you giggle as you pressed your head under his chin closing your eyes. After such a rough start, the ending of your tale was quite perfect in your opinion.

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warriorgays

I want all the Old Married Dwarves, though. I want gruff warriors who blush when they see their crushes, and kindly stay at home husbands bragging about their fierce warrior wives, and burly guards bragging about their wives’ amazing abilities as craftswomen and mothers. I want blacksmiths reciting poetry and stonemasons picking wildflowers. I want an entire race of people who adore plumpness and celebrate body hair and believe masculinity and femininity to be perfectly equal and don’t give two fucks about the gender binary or where you fall on it or where your lover falls on it, who think sex is perfectly fine and good for you but not necessary for romantic and personal fulfillment. I want Dwarves who find their One when they’re barely out of childhood and Dwarves who get married when they’re two hundred and five.

I WANT DWARVES IN LOVE, GODDAMNIT.

queenunderthemistymountainscold

YES YES YES

warriorgays

Headcanon: Dwarves of royal lines don’t trace their genealogy through their father, but through the royal parent, male or female. Thus Thorin would introduce himself as “son of Thrain,” but Fili and Kili would always introduce themselves as “sons of Dis.” Dis would ALSO introduce herself as “daughter of Thrain,” even though most other female dwarves would name their mother.

This also means that I get to make any Dwarves on the family tree female unless given explicitly canon evidence to the contrary. Fundin is Dwalin and Balin’s mother in all my fics.

blankdblank

We’re Married...

You are Half Hobbit/Vanyar you did not feel the cold and only wear your jacket merely for extra pockets, no blanket or bedroll, preferring to sleep on the ground, lest you become less fond of wandering.

Your are the only Woman in the company of 15 Men, all but 2 are Dwarves.

In Dwarf culture, Women are treated like Queens, Men are unable to touch a Woman unless they are related or she is in danger, even if they are courting the Male cannot initiate any physical contact at all.

Keep reading

warriorgays

I got the Art & Design book for BOTFA today, and for those who were, like me, starved for some dwarf characterization, I’ve compiled a little list of notes–although I really do recommend getting the full book if you’re interested because the drawings are incredible. There are also some more minor notes on how the character’s familial relationships and colors/shapes were translated from AUJ to BOTFA, but unless it offers a really vital aspect of their personality, I don’t mention it. so here’s what I got.

one little thing: idk if this has been confirmed anywhere, but I believe the funeral and Dain’s coronation were both filmed; if nothing else, the funeral hall was fully rendered in CGI, including the characters, and a coronation outfit for Dain was physically made.

the dwarves each have two sets of armor (which are seen briefly in the film). one set of formal armor, and then one of more informal armor, the idea being that the second set (what they wear in the battle) would be the underylayer of the first. these are my notes on the outer layers:

Thorin originally had a ram motif, but they thought that wasn’t meaningful enough, so it was changed to a dragon and, finally, a raven. His armor was meant to be almost identical to Thror’s

Fili’s armor was hard to design; he had a brigandine tunic instead of plate armor to emphasize he’s younger and leaner than the older dwarves. His color was meant to be a purplish RAF blue, fitting for a prince.

Kili had a sculpted Roman chest plate, but it was scrapped because he’s a more modest character.

Dwalin was given a greenstone/jade ax because of its significance in Maori culture and because it looked really freaking cool

Ori’s armor was meant to look a bit overwhelming on him

also you’re getting this full quote about Ori because it’s too cute: “A request came in at one point for us to whip up some concepts for a new slingshot for Ori. The idea was that he would find a new, fancy one in the treasure hoard of Erebor. All the Dwarves were getting impressive new weapons to match their regal armor, so my approach was to imagine a slingshot made for a young Dwarven prince. I could imagine how excited Ori would be to come across it.” (he ended up with an ax)

Bifur found a helmet he liked and hacked a hole in it to fit around his ax

they originally designed a helmet for Bofur that was the same general shape of his hat; he ended up wearing his hat in the battle instead

Gloin’s helmet is meant to be the exact one Gimli wears in LOTR; it’s a brighter color to indicate that it’s new

and just one note from Kili’s second set of armor: he’s given gold chainmail to show that he’s the “golden boy.” Which highly amuses me because clearly the designers weren’t expecting like 90% of the fandom to refer to Fili as their golden prince/king/etc like all the time.

warriorgays

rain-upon-the-moon replied to your post “rain-upon-the-moon replied to your post “mister oin: 31, 33, 34?…”

have a headcanon: dwarven mystics/holy types live miles below everyone else in the deep caves bc they believe that that’s the place to go to be close to mahal/the innermost workings of the earth. they read tectonic shifts like the elves read stars.

NEW FAVORITE THEORY

ATTENTION EVERYONE, PLEASE UPDATE YOUR DWARVEN CULTURAL FICS IMMEDIATELY, THIS MUST BE A THING

princecami

Imagine praising Thorin intimately without realizing it

you: * prick Thorin’s belly * you’re thick. Thorin: * ashamed to be a compliment intended for husband and wife * do not say that. Balin: * knows you do not understand anything about dwarf culture *

* Next day *

Kili: Sing a song Uncle Thorin: I do not want to You and Kili: please * puppies eyes * Fili: Please Thorin: * singing a song * You: * When the music is over, pokes Thorin * you look like a mountain. Thorin: * with a lot of shame and a proud smile * thank you, this is the best compliment a dwarf can receive. Dwalin: a married dwarf can receive from his wife * whispers * Thorin: shut up * growls * *Next day* Thorin: * sitting anchored on a rock * You: * come and sit next to him * can I stay here? Balin: * smiles encouragingly * Thorin: Sit down You: * embrace Thorin during sleep * you’re hot as an oven. Thorin: * smiles lovingly and whispers with his lips to the head * it’s you, your presence ignites me. You: * sleeping, but mumbling incoherent things * good for every night. Dwalin: She says many intimate things Balin: One more compliment and you’ll have to marry her Thorin Thorin: * the widest smile in the world * I am the happiest dwarf in the world!

prettyinpixiedust-deactivated20

So i know i run dwarves differently than most GMs

but it seriously makes more sense to me than a patriarchy because imagine this - you exist in a culture with no outward indication of gender that places enormous value on caves and mining

and you finally leave and meet these weird tall people

and as you’re exchanging words and whatnot they’re all

“Where are your women?”

And you’re like, “what is a woman?”

and they say, “the weaker gender, beardless and gentle”

and you say “We have none”

because of course you don’t, you’re DWARVES

And the tall ones ask “Where do you come from?”

And you reply “Caves” because it is true both ways, you live in caves and you are born of those dwarves that carry caves within themselves, the most sacred of dwarves

and the tall people shrug and let it go because who cares, hide your women, they just want the trade agreements

and nobody ever realizes they were speaking to the women all along

queenunderthemistymountainscold

I have a similar idea to this...

#for my fanfic

thelostknee-deactivated20210422

Tbh

I love the idea of eloquent dwarves.

I love the idea of these stout, hairy, dirt-under-their-nails people writing the most beautiful poetry; singing the loveliest songs; being the floweriest mofos to ever pop out of the ground.

And I can’t stand when people say it’s not proper to have them like that simply for being dwarves. That’s wrong. So wrong. Because there’s so much diversity, in this world and fantasy ones.

Why should all dwarves be lumped together as vulgar, ineloquent beasts?

Why should all elves be pristine, clean, and graceful?

Why should all hobbits be scared, weak, and uneducated about the outside world?

Great stories are made from bending the ideas that have been laid out before, not sticking to them like bugs to flypaper.

determamfidd

“And, Legolas, when the torches are kindled and men walk on the sandy floors under the echoing domes, ah! then Legolas, gems and crystals and veins of precious ore glint in the polished walls; and the light flows through folded marbles, shell-like, translucent as the living hands of Queen Galadriel. There are columns of white and saffron and dawn-rose, Legolas, fluted and twisted into dreamlike forms; they spring up from many-coloured floors to meet the glistening pendants of the roof: wings, ropes, curtains fine as frozen clouds; spears, banners, pinnacles of suspended palaces! Still lakes mirror them: a glimmering world looks up from the dark pools covered with clear glass; cities, such as the mind of Durin could scarce have imagined in his sleep, stretch on through avenues and pillared courts, on into the dark recesses where no light can come. And plink! a silver drop falls, and the round wrinkles in the glass make all the towers bend and waver like weeds and corals in a grotto of the sea.”

Gimli, The Two Towers

(the “Glittering Caves” speech is often cited as Tolkien’s most beautiful and lyrical writing ever. Hell yeah, I am down with poetic Dwarves!)

muchymozzarella

Gimli was so silver-tongued that he charmed Galadriel herself (even if, let’s be fair, she was generally kindly inclined to dwarves moreso than other elves)

I like to think that Gimli learned a whole lot from his kin

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