Do You Like Scary Movies

he/they🦁 native🪶 31🔮 taken💜

[tajrishgp]

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

[catchymemes]

[wumbreon]

May we all know decadence such as this

[charlesoberonn]

"godless beast" and it's literally Dionysus in animal form.

[the-haiku-bot]

“godless beast” and it’s

literally Dionysus

in animal form.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sweetoothgirl]

Salted Caramel Cheesecake

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

[zedekiahdaughter]

my favorite part of the day is when i post 90 things on tumblr in an hour

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

Always remember: however stupid an argument you're having, I promise you there is one person in Witchblr having a far stupider one

[laterkiss]

sometimes i blog so badly but then a mutual likes my post and it's like summer in my mouth

[lesbibat-blog]

titties out. aphrodite worshipped. 

[trans-pickles]

i don't think bodily autonomy for minors should be a luck of the draw type thing where you have to cross your fingers that your parents are chill about it.

[kjscottwrites]

[X] <- psst click this

[whitachi]

Kermit the Frog would be an ideal assassin because if caught he would need to be tried by a jury of his peers (Muppets) and you would not be able to find a Muppet who does not have a pre-existing opinion on Kermit the fucking Frog. case thrown out. kermie can kill again. it's easy being green

[ohbeckoh]

I don't know, I think his chances are still good on getting out but if the court put in the work they could fill the box.

[whitachi]

not letting these tags get away

[mumblesplash]

it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems

[gandalfsbignaturals]

what if instead of paying companies to delete our info off of databases periodically we like. idk. passed a law that said companies couldnt do that anymore. and set up some kind of task force to disband all the companies that do that. thatd be cool

[mortalityplays]

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

[normalmammal]

I’m so pro abortion I feel insane hearing any other take on it

[normalmammal]

Even lefties I know will eventually concede to some situation where they think it’s right to force someone to carry a child against their will as if that’s not one of the most inhumane and cruel situations to put someone in regardless of any other factors

[ell-hs]