Query

[wolfythewitch]

Do you guys wanna see the version of bloodymary im somewhat invested in

[wolfythewitch]

Imagine you float up from near death and some old guy is poking you in the face and humming

[wolfythewitch]

Okay wait one more

[cens-socmed-intern]

"Shane would hate Troy" this "actually Troy and Shane would be great friends" that. Sorry to disagree but in my horrid mind Troy and Shane hang out once for 15 min and they manage to enable each other's unhealthy eating habits to such a degree that Ilya and Harris vow to never let them hang out alone again.

Let them alone for more than 30 minutes and they'll start discussing the merits of paleo diet and whatever the fuck that "liver king" guy had going on, 1 hour? They're buying the John Tavares anti 5g magic grift amulet. When I say "two dumb bitches telling each other exactlyyy" I mean DUMB dumb.

[lesbiandry]

#lmfaoooo#i think their most true relationship is distant and friendly but i looooove toxic shane-troy dynamics#they're in the grocery store aisles completely deranged#in front of the fish counter screaming about omega 3s#a bored teenager is watching shane fucking hollander waving his arms around a mackerel in one hand and a salmon in the other#PICK TROY. WHICH FUCKING FISH HAS MORE HEALTHY FAT#fish tails flopping around under fluorescent lights#troy's almost crying#the teenager is bored. chewing gum and blowing bubbles#heated rivalry

<- prev’s notes oh my god

[visjules]

meowmeow

[areyouleadingorami]

someone commented on my edit that stratt would have seen 40 eridani return to its full brightness and she would know that grace had saved erid.

it takes 16 years for light from 40 eridani to reach earth plus the ~26 years it took for the hail mary to reach tau ceti and the beetles to return, that’s 42 years gone by.

i believe stratt was described as being in her mid to late forties which means that by the time light from 40 eridani reached earth, she would likely be around 90 years old.

my new head cannon is that she held on just long enough to see whether grace made it.

[adurot]

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

[adurot]

I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.

[adurot]

But wait, there’s more!

[adurot]

[exhuastedpigeon]

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[querysquandary]

@weaponized-giraffe-house my pookie

[iamurako]

[doorp]

maomao is not the bisexual representation the people asked for and honestly she is not the bisexual representation the people needed, I really dont know what that thing is but no one living or dead has the power to stop her. She showed the emperors concubines elicit porn. She met a woman with tits so huge that she completely ignored everything the woman was saying for a full minute to stare at them silently. She put her androgynous boytoy in a dress and made him dance. Grabbed his dong and called it a decent sized frog. And she did all of this while practicing medicine illegally. Feminism wins

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Dragon's right, if you remove all the Simpsons characters from Death Note it hardly changes anything

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[secondlina]

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

[sinksanksockie2]

w-what if potato is actually lucky

[lesbianshepard]

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

[voiddragoncat]

In Project Hail Mary (the book) there’s a bit where Stratt is being sued for pirating literally everything ever

And I’ve seen lots of posts about how she pulls out the “I can do what I want” paper, but I wanted to highlight some other things about the scene that I found absolutely hilarious:

She’s actively working on something else on her tablet as the trial is beginning.

She doesn’t have a lawyer or anything. It’s just her alone at the defense table

She immediately and continuously requests to end the trial so she can leave (and interrupts both the Plaintiff and the Judge to do so)

After being denied a few times, she just gets up and leaves anyway. When they try to stop her she’s just like “I literally have the entire US army under my command, you have no way to make me stay here.”

Grace isn’t even IN this scene. Every other “past” scene so far has been Grace remembering something from his own life, but I think they threw this one in as a Just For Stratt Special™️

[godlessondheimite]

“ice water makes you sick” “ice water gives you stomach cramps” i’m sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals

[copperbadge]

I was innocently buying a soda and a Kit Kat bar from a snack shop recently when the cashier said, "Oh, a Kit Kat! That's what I named my cat!" and then launched into An Monologue.

Nobody was behind me in line, which seemed to be a good reason for her to treat me to a five minute retelling of the identification, rescue, and argument over initial custody of Kit Kat, who was so small they thought when they first heard him crying for help that he was a bird and not a kitten in a tree, and is now fifteen pounds of "pure, sculpted lardass".

And I didn't mind, precisely, I wasn't bored or anything, but around the time she was bringing me up to speed on Kit Kat's current status it occurred to me that this woman is a cashier in a store that primarily sells candy bars and beverages. People must buy Kit Kat bars from her multiple times a day. Does she do this every time there's nobody in line behind the purchaser? Did I just have that I Own Several Cats And Will Enjoy Your Cat Stories look about me? Was it the first time it occurred to her that she sold the brand of candy bar she named her cat after? Was she new to the job of selling Kit Kat bars?

The idea that every time she sees a Kit Kat bar she is gripped by the urge, Manchurian Candidate style, to retell the story of Kit Kat the Cat, elevates her from a friendly cashier to a deep enigma. Truly there is no knowing the mind of another.

[copperbadge]

IT GETS FUNNIER

I was in the same snack shop, which I'm in, like, once a month, recently. I only recognized her because I spent five minutes listening to this monologue in sincere wonder. But I did recognize her, so as I was buying a soda and a Milky Way bar (this time) I said, without thinking about how this would come across, "Hey, how's Kit Kat?"

She looked genuinely horrified and said, "What...how?"

"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry! You told me about him last time!"

This is still quite cryptic as responses go but she gave me a frankly frantic look of sudden recognition and said, "He's fine! You bought a Kit Kat! I was unmedicated!"

I did not inform her she is small town famous on Tumblr and instead just said, "Glad you're both doing well!" and we parted as confused and mortified friends.

Gosh she's fun. I hope she's there next time. I want to reenact the Spiderman Pointing meme with her.

[depsidase]

[lavenderprose]

Shane also needs to interact with other gay men just to understand how truly lucky he is. He needs to hear someone go off about going on Grindr to find a top for the night and then finding out that all of the guys who have the 'Hung' tag on their profile are packing like five and a half inches at MOST and then Shane has to be like "Oh that. Yeah that sounds rough." Meanwhile he lost his anal virginity to a knockout with model looks who works out for a living and started their relationship by jerking his enormous hog at him in a communal shower which has always been one of Shane's top five fantasies. And he's literally never had to be on The Apps because he's the bottom of all time actually and the DomTop with the enormous dick imprinted on him like a fucking duckling the first time Shane came untouched under him which was, I cannot stress this enough, when he LOST HIS VIRGINITY.

Like shut the fuck up Shane Hollander how does it feel to be the chosen one. He has to confront all of this because he needs to know that he has, once again, won at life in every meaningful way. And then he can sit there like :] while that sad bottom over there bemoans the Grindr biome.

[wavezies]

big fan of strattland being a little too comfortable in each others' space and weirding everyone else out completely straight-faced