and just a hint of magic

• She/Her • Eccentric • xx+ •

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[akashicrecord]

You have turned this glory hole into a hole of dishonor and you must leave immediately

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Barbara is the 'man in the chair' for the batbeasts. Jim just thinks she's a very passionate gamer.

[rhymo-s]

Robins

[1617]

sometimes home is a person

[pomplerrr]

please don't say that

[aqwult]

[argumate]

I don't see what the-- oh gosh

[certified-door-posts]

certified door post

[brucedefender4eva]

When Dick hit high school age, he stopped allowing Bruce to come with him. He was already halfway there in middle school, but when he entered high school, he put his foot down

Bruce was a little sad about it. He loved dropping Dick off, but his son was so insistent that he had no choice but to agree

Dick has never had to carry his backpack, except for when he’s physically in school

Bruce always carries it for him from the house to the car, the car to the front of the school, and then grabs it off of him again when school ends

Duck’s never thought anything of it; it’s just something that’s always happened

The first few days he leaves for school, Alfred drops him off, or he rarely gets to bike to school, and he completely forgets to grab his backpack

At the front gate, he turned, expecting his Tati to be there holding the heavy book bag for him, but there was nothing

His Dad wasn’t there to kiss him on the forehead and wish him a good day before handing him his backpack and lunchbox. So now, he was at school, no backpack, and feeling incredibly lonely

But he can’t just go back on his word

He argued and shouted at Bruce that being seen with him was the utmost embarrassing thing that he could do

So he struggles, but he starts remembering to grab his backpack before he leaves. He makes it all throughout high school, showing Bruce that he's unneeded

Then Bruce adopts Jason

Jason also seems embarrassed when Bruce drops him off and carries his backpack to the front doors, but unlike Dick, he doesn't tell Bruce to stop

He's not jealous. That would be stupid. He's the one who made Bruce stop, long before Jason was ever in the picture

Dick's not even in school anymore, so being jealous seriously doesn't make any sense

Yet here he is, sitting at the breakfast table at the manor, lying that it's just because Alfie begged him to come, watching as his dad Bruce gets ready to drop Jason off at school while carrying around a limited edition Wonder Woman backpack

And it's fine

And Jason is getting older. He's coming around to the age where DIck started to get broody and refuse to be around Bruce for any longer than he had to

He wanted to tell Jason to hold onto these moments as long as he could. That taking his backpack from Bruce was a heavier weight than he could ever imagine. It's not just about the backpack

He never gets the chance

[asj15]

"can u multitask" yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

[red-plutoo]

The batkids* going through puberty : cass

Cassie my baby, she’s selectively mute in this, she can talk she just doesn’t like to

(Same as the Steph one, I know she was older when Bruce adopted her but I chose what I write, so she’s 13)

__

Bruce(turning the light on in his bathroom): Jesus-

Cass(laying on the floor with cramps):

Bruce: oh sweetheart

Bruce(picking her up): you ok?

Cass(shakes head):

Bruce: it’s ok sweetie, let’s get you some Tylenol

__

Cass(pulling at Bruce’s arm):

Bruce: yes baby?

Cass: look :)

Cass(runs back and starts dancing):

Bruce(so proud): you’re so good baby

__

Cass(hasn’t spoken in a month): dad?

Bruce(crying tears of joy): yes??

Cass: your hair looks dumb

Cass(walks away):

Bruce:

Bruce: yknow what I’ll take it

__

Babs(reading in the clocktower):

Babs(eats cookie):

Babs(offers cookie to the shadows):

Cass(takes cookie): thank you :>

__

Cass(carrying a wolf pup):

Bruce(so confused): cass, sweetie, honey, where did that come from

Cass(was raised by wolves): brother :)

Bruce(panicking): what do you mean brother????

__

Cass(appearing from the void):

Bruce(getting ready for a gala): hello sweetie

Cass: what’re you doing?

Bruce: gotta go out, it’s for charity

Cass: boring. Can I come with?

Bruce(knows he can’t argue with her): go get your dress

Cass: yippie :)

__

Cass(explaining the warrior cats lore): but then he killed his half-brother

Bruce(listening very carefully): uh huh

Jason(strangely invested): go on

__

Cass(trying to put her hair up for ballet):

Cass(giving up trying): dad!

Bruce: ?? Yes

Cass: can I cut my hair off

Bruce: I mean yeah if you want, or you could just ask and I’ll put it up for you

Cass(nodding):

__

Bruce(driving):

Cass(sitting shotgun):

Cass(sees yellow car): yellow car! (Hits Bruce)

Bruce: oh hey cmon that’s unfair I didn’t know we were playing-

__

Cass(holding out nail polish to Bruce):

Bruce: do you want me to do your nails?

Cass(nodding): :)

Bruce: alright c’mere

__

Bruce(opening cass’s door):

Room(so messy you can’t open the door fully):

Bruce: Cassie..

Cass(hiding in the shadows): •^•

[red-plutoo]

Sick batkids : Tim

Due to his lack of spleen, lack of sleep and ridiculous consumption of caffeinated energy drinks and soda, his immune system is shit. Someone coughs on this freak of nature once and he’s down for a week, at least he should be, he continues to work even when he’s in physical pain because of course he does. He has to be tackled and pulled away from him work when sick

__

Tim(blocked nose, threw up twice, running on empty): so we think the mother in law killed him because he hit her grandson and we think the brother helped-

Bruce: honey what are you doing

Tim: huh

Bruce: what are you doing sweetie

Tim: working??

Bruce: yeah no, go to bed

Tim: Nuh uh

Bruce(already picking him up): go to bed

Tim: :/

__

Tim(holding 5 miscellaneous pills): one of this is the antibiotic I need daily and there’s an non zero chance one of them is ecstasy

Dick: what.

Jason: just take them all, if it’s ecstasy I’ll watch ya don’t worry

Dick: do not-

Tim(takes all five in one):

(It was not ecstasy, he just slept 12 hours)

__

Tim(climbing out of his bedroom window): this is bullshit why can’t I just leave my room and finish my case.

Cass(standing on the ground outside his window): little brother.

Tim:

Tim(starts climbing back in):

Cass: ^^

__

Jason(holding a bucket of water): hey does anyone know where the replacement is?

Bruce(walking past holding a swaddled Tim):

Tim(trying to escape): let me go

Jason: yknow what nevermind

__

Tim(grabbing a monster from the fridge):

Bruce: put that back

Tim: no

Bruce: you haven’t slept in 2 days and you have a fever, put it down

Bruce: we have decaf coffee, water and juice, that’s what you can have

Tim: I don’t even like coffee especially not decaf tf

__

Tim(laying in a freezing cold bath fully clothed):

Duke(trying to find his toothbrush): wtf are you doing

Tim: if I can get my fever down Bruce’ll let me go back to work

Duke: I’m not sure that’s how that works

Tim: I’m pretty sure it is

Duke(sitting on the floor next to the bath): doesn’t matter, wanna watch shitty tv together?

Tim: yeah sure

__

Tim(forgot to take his antibiotics + antidepressants): ugh

Steph(hands him a cookie):

Tim: ??

Steph: eat it

Tim(looks down at cookie): there’s pills in this.

Steph: yeah and there’s no pills in you, eat it

Tim: Nuh uh

Steph: I’ll call Kon-

Tim(scoffs cookie):

Steph: that’s what I thought

__

Tim(just spent 10 minutes coughing): fuck

Bruce: yeah

Tim: god my throat hurts

Bruce: do you want honey and lemon?

Tim: please

Bruce(already texting Alfred): ok sweetie

__

Tim(eating dry toast): ts sucks

Jason(kidnapped Tim for sport): yeah well it’ll keep you from throwing up again

Tim: fuck you

__

Tim(asleep for once): Zz

Bruce(checking his temperature): Jesus-

Tim(freakishly hot): Zzz

Bruce: what the fuck.

Bruce(panicked): Alfred???

__

Tim(finally managed to get down to the cave): fuck yeah

Damian(sat at the batcomputer, glaring at him):

Tim: oh what the fuck

Damian: go to sleep.

Tim: yeah alright Jeff the killer

[spicy-apple-pie]

Batman's one weakness... cooking

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[cringingwithabook]

Headcanon that Jason Todd absolutely loved the idea of annotating books, but he couldn’t do it because he couldn’t afford his own books. Instead he uses and notebook and write down each thought he has about each page.

When he moved in with Bruce he was terrified to touch the library books so he keeps the journal. That is until Bruce finds him passed out over Pride and Prejudice with a pen to the notebook. Bruce buys him every single book he can think of and tells him he can do whatever he wants with them. All of them are filled to the brim with all of Jason’s thoughts and he almost treats it like a diary

When Jason dies Bruce leaves the room intact except for all the books, he takes them trying to get every single piece of his Jaylad that he can. He reads through them ritualistically and he treats them so carefully trying to keep them exactly how Jason left them. The only one that changed was Fahrenheit 451, it was Bruce’s favorite and Jason had written what Bruce thought about it as well as his own thoughts and buried in the margins was simply “dad’s favorite” and that book has tear stains that smudged the ink. He refuses to read it now.

When Jason returns to Gotham he breaks into the manor “for recon” and obviously checks his room. He notices all his books that are gone and assumes Bruce threw them out. He replaced him after all; he wouldn’t need those stupid books that held Jason’s innermost thoughts. He never checks Bruce’s room.

[attractive-trashcan]

*Dick walking into the library looking at some documents*

Dick: Tim I need your help to check something out.

Tim:...

Dick: Tim?

*Tim asleep on the couch*

Dick: Aw Timmy, you finally fell asleep.

Duke, sitting beside Tim: Yeah he did

Jason: Dick, I nee-

Damian: Whatever Todd t-

Dick: Shush both of you, and look at Timmy!

Jason, confused: Replacement?

Damian, confused: Drake?

Jason: Oh he's, finally sleeping

Damian: tt, it's maybe good to see drake sleeping

*A little while later*

Bruce: Dick did you-

*He spots the boys asleep next to each other*

Alfred: Master Bruce, why don't you take a moment to relax with your children mm?

Bruce: No, this case-

Alfred: Master Bruce

Bruce: I could use some relaxation, and sleep for a bit.

[nightwolf14292]

On one hand, I love a Jason that gets seriously injured and turns into a scared dog. *Mwah*, chef's kiss, 10/10.

On the other hand, I love a Jason that gets seriously injured and reverts back to his younger self.

Jason, seriously hurt, pointing one of his guns at Bruce: “Don't come any fuckin' closer! You just get yer ass out of here, I don't need yer damn help.. I never want yer help with anything ever again..”

Then you get a Bruce that has to try and calm the dog. That sits at the end of the alley a comfortable distance away and waits for his boy to come back to him. Holds his hand out and waits for the dog to inevitably give in and let Bruce take care of him.

BUT ALSO

Jason, slowly bleeding out on the floor of a random warehouse: “...”

Bruce, who just so happened to be busting the same criminals and probably just saved Jason's life: “..Jay?”

Jason, sounding like he's tearing up behind his helmet: “..I wanna go home now, dad..”

Bruce: “..Okay, Chum. We'll go home now. I'll take care of you.”

GRGGGHHHHH I WANT TO SQUEEZE THEM AND SHAKE THEM ALL AROUND

[brucedefender4eva]

If they found out Dick was also Bruce’s biological child

Dick: So?

Dick: When were you going to tell me you’ve slept with my mom

Bruce: Well… it didn’t really seem pertinent at the time

Bruce: It was also years and years before we met, before you were a concept, and a one-night stand, so…

Bruce: Not the best thing to bring up to a grieving child

Dick: I can’t believe this

Bruce: I’m sorry

Bruce: If it makes you feel better, I had no inkling that you were biologically mine

Dick: I guess… It’s not the worst that I’m related to you… it’s kinda nice…

Dick: I’m still stuck on the fact that my mom cheated on my dad with you

Bruce: Well…

Bruce: I wouldn't call it cheating… since he was also there and a very, very willing participant

Dick, blank stare: …

Bruce: Hey! They were the ones who hit on me first!

Bruce: I was just minding my business when they called me pretty and decided to flirt

Bruce: I was a weak boy to compliments and lonely in a foreign country. What was I to do?

Dick, squinting: I don’t believe you

Bruce: We can get out the ouija board right now if you want, or I’ll call Constantine

Dick, utterly done and tired: You know what? I’m just gonna go scream into my pillow

Bruce, hesitant: Okay… love you

Dick, already planning on using Bruce’s credit cards as compensation: Yeah, yeah, love you too, asshole

[haveihitanerve]

Bruce Wayne is not the smart guy who sees people running and also starts running. No sir he is white guy confirmed, that boy sees people running and investigates if he weren’t Batman he would die first in horror movies 100%

However- Bruce/Batman is the guy who sees his kids running and runs as well. He knows his kids, and if they’re running, he’s running. They would not run from a threat without viable reason, so he’s following. It’s an instinct honed by partnership, something you have to do in the field. He needs to trust them, instinctively, and if they run, he run. As partners they have to trust the others movements, fluidity, doing what they do without a seconds hesitation because in that second you’re dead. 

Batman hits all fours and you better believe Nightwing is kissing the floor. 

Red Hoods finger twitches toward his left side and Red Robin moves because that’s where he has his grenades and you better know that or you’ll be a casualty. 

Spoiler yells “jump!” And Batgirl is jumping no questions asked or she gets sawed in half.  

So if Batman sees Signal running- he packs up his shit (Robin) and is hightailing it after him. 

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Bruce Wayne is the type of parent that literally anything goes other than murder.

Now a lot of parents have to worry about the things you do or break because getting them fixed, paying fines or hospital bills is way out of budget. Can't break the house cause well no one can afford to fix it. Bailing you out of jail, paying for the lawyer will bankrupt them. Hospital fees will follow them till death.

Bruce Wayne can get his kids out of literally any trouble. If he didn't have a no kill rule, even that wouldn't matter.

Dick crashes a car. He's uninjured alright cool.

Tim decides at 3:00 am to take apart the fridge because he thought he could fix the noise. Another one is delivered in an hour.

Jason blows up an entire building. No ones dead, well shit he's getting his allowance raised.

Cass and Damian get arrested no harm no foul.

Duke breaks his arm trying to do a backflip down the stairs to the ER we go.

Tim ordered 30,000$ worth of computer shit alright it's Tuesday.

Dick and Jason blew up the West Wing could have been worse.

Dick, Tim and Cass decide to time travel, since they wanted to figure out the Isabella Garden Museum heist only to realize they are the ones who actually do it. Guess Bruce owns a Rembrandt now and is a little disappointed that prior he never even consided Time Travelers as suspects.

Bruce can fix almost anything other than his actual children. Even than he can convince Ra's to hand over some pit water last resort.

His kids swear, break shit, commit crimes, sleep with half the population and he couldn't care less.

Multiple girls have showed up to Wayne Manor cause of Tim and one from Dick (Which after explained Alfred took care of and Bruce payed for therapy)

Expelled from school Bruce bought them a new wing. Guess who's been re-enrolled.

Bruce Wayne is the definition of a Rich Karen Mom.

He would get his kid out of the DUI (not that his kids would ever they would call him first)

There are not consequences for any shit they do.

Even Murder.

Exhibit his second oldest who is currently on his couch eating Cheerios cleaning a gun.

His children will only ever have to answer to one man.

The Law, God, and everybody the fuck else, will never have the audacity to parent his god damn kids.

Bruce Wayne has more money than god, twenty five broken bones, hasn't slept in almost eighteen hours and the strong belief that his children can't do anything wrong.

Karen fucking wishes.