I feel like I have to state this once a month, but itâs really uncool how often people jokingly use the word âtriggered.âÂ
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@quillsy
I feel like I have to state this once a month, but itâs really uncool how often people jokingly use the word âtriggered.âÂ
UM
YES
The Triforce (ăă©ă€ăă©ăŒăč ToraifĆsu)
Casimir Lee  -  http://casimir0304.cgsociety.org  -  https://www.facebook.com/CaSiMiR0304  -  http://casimir0304.deviantart.com
me, after making any trivial mistake
her name is bug đâš
do yourself a favor and read âOh God, Not Again!â by Sarah1281
it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters
basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact
(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesnât really matter)
harry decides upon 3 goals:
fuck up as much shit as possible
make a shitload of money
save some lives or whatever
it is
H I L A R I O U S
his go-to explanation for how he knows whatâs going to happen?
he has a psychic scar
(hermione is SO PISSED about this)
(nevilleâs like âeither heâs psychic, or heâs the greatest conman aliveâ)
everyone just sort of assumes harryâs insane and he doesnât do much to dispute this
harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year
âsnape is my sole allyâ
he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so theyâre part of the gang throughout and itâs great
even draco is a friend!
(kind of)
(when harryâs not spreading a rumor that dracoâs the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)
harryâs motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, âoh, this will be hilariousâ
either that or, âitâs probably a tax deductibleâ
because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn
(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)
it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that heâs not the heir of slytherinâŠ. because if he was, heâd have found a way to make money off of it
and everyoneâs like âyeah ok that checks outâ
in this timeline, nevilleâs boggart isnât snapeâŠ. itâs harry as the minister of magic
harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard
harry: by the way, that reminds me â cedric. graveyard.
cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.
the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring
he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, frigginâ voldemort
everyone is like âwhat⊠what the fuck, harryâ
(though by the end of first year itâs more like â⊠*deep sigh* ⊠fine.
snape is so angry
itâs fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off
hereâs the link
thank me later
ââŠBut to my credit, I think Iâve managed to annoy him (Snape) so much that heâs somewhat stopped seeing me as my father and now sees me as my own extremely irritating person,â Harry said proudly. With a little effort, heâd managed in one year what he previously hadnât been able to accomplish in six.
-Chapter 11
I need this as a Book please
Oh my god I REMEMBER THIS. YES!
If you are, like me, physically incapable of reading things on FF.net. Hereâs the AO3 link.
snape couldâve been an awesome teacher if he wasnât a disgusting waste of a human being. he knew from age 16 that the instuctions that the textbooks were giving werenât as good as they could be. he improved the potions and recorded his methods at age 16. if he werenât such a shitbag, he couldâve either written the damn textbooks himself, or taught his students his alternate methods. he couldâve revolutionized how potions were being brewed, teaching whole generations a superior method of potion brewing. instead, he spent his time bullying children.Â
He could have become rich and famous and been one of the most well regarded wizards of his age with his knowledge of spells and potions
But instead he decided âThe girl i hurled racial slurs at put me in the Friend Zone so Iâm gonna go become a Magic Nazi and then spend the remainder of my adult years emotionally abusing twelve year oldsâ
He could have become everything a Slytherin should have been instead of the epitome of what everyone else thinks they are.
I really want a movie where thereâs this Dark Brooding Male Hero whoâs like, a total badass, and during all the fight scenes he keeps getting flashbacks to happy images of his wife, and like his whole narrative is framed around his wife, and all the other heroes on his team know that heâs got this passion and vengeance and think it all has to do with his dead wife⊠but then near the end of the movie his wife shows up and heâs like âhey babeâ theyâre all shocked and theyâre like, âWait I thought all your power and passion came from avenging your dead wife?â and heâs like âno bro, I just really love my wife, sheâs really cool, sheâs what keeps me goingâ like⊠a reverse fridge
Unfridge your wives 2017
Unfridge your wives 2018
âThis whole saving the world thing has kept me from seeing my wife for like, three days and I was really starting to miss her!â
It turns out heâs normally a ray of sunshine and is only Dark Brooding Male Hero mode when he misses her.Â
All is right in this dogâs world today. #dogsofinstagram #pupper #pitmix #happydog (at Mobile, Alabama) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv2AqIoDXi_h2FbhXtupWWZHytdkA-8ojz80Fk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10a84ruw0461g
IM DEAD đđ
So one day a dwarf is talking to a human and finally realizes that when humans say woman, they generally mean âperson who is theoretically capable of childbirthâ because for whatever reason, humans assign social expectations based genital differences. (What a fucked up culture, the dwarf thinks.) But hey, better communication! So the next time the dwarf introduces theirself, they say, oh, by the way, I am what you call a âwoman.â
And the trade negotiations just stop. They just stop cold. The tall people insist on speaking to the man, they insist on talking to the lady dwarf about all sorts of irrelevant bullshit, like recipes and childrearing and perfume
so the dwarf goes back home, enraged
and is like âBTW guess what happened, weâre all just going to be men forever now as far as the tall ones are concernedâ
and everyone is justly horrified at this barbarism but they all agree to do whatever it takes to squeeze those tall bastards for all the resources they are worth
and the dwarves get surlier, and the trade agreements less generous
and the tall people are all âwhat a miserable and greedy raceâ
but really theyâre just still nursing a grudge about how goddamn backwards and sexist the tall people are
because their best negotiator, one of their sacred cave people, got snubbed the instant she said she was capable of childbirth - and a mortal insult like that can never be forgiven
Because Piâs tags are great:
#yes good #personal headcanon: dwarves have fundamentally misunderstood human pronoun usage #and gender roles #they are very perplexed by it #eventually they went âfuck it apparently âheâ is the correct wordâ #âitâs their language and they keep using it for usâ #so then you have this situation where dwarves are cognizant of the words âmotherâ and âwifeâ #but not the usual use of âsheâ secondary headcanon specific to Tolkien dwarves #dwarves that choose to bear children are held in high regard #because they are making new dwarves it is the ultimate craft #thatâs what mahal did you made a new person #it is very impressive #everyone is impressed
Just as an additional thought, we hear that women dwarves generally stay within the mountain and are a protected, guarded subset of the dwarves. Thereâs not many of them, so thereâs an implication that women dwarves are too precious to be allowed out.
But what if this too is a mistranslation? What if the dwarves were talking to the Men and when asked âwhere are all your women?â they hit a wall. They whisper amongst themselves, and eventually come back with a question, âWhatâs a woman?â The Men are incredulous.
âWhy, the members of your race that bear children, of course!âÂ
More dwarven whispering.
They reach the conclusion that Men mean dwarves who are currently pregnant. Well! Of course those dwarves are currently safe within the mountain, well cared for and generally loathe to travel until the child is born. The Men take this to mean that all dwarven women are discouraged from traveling, and that their primary purpose is childbearing. Dwarves find this a satisfactory outcome, especially with the way Men treat their women, and so even when the misunderstanding becomes clear to them they never correct it.
I have never converted to fan-canon so hard before.
Iâm in love with this.
How to other eye
ALRIGHT, so, I know a lot of people have trouble making eyes match. Yesterday I found out a way to make it significantly easier! Hereâs a small guide.
Well, first of all, you have your face. mark where the eyes should be on it.
Then mark the corners of the eyes and go over the middle again, to make the next step easier
Alright, I know it sounds a bit crazy, but draw this shape, trying to make it as symmetrical as you can.
Draw the eyes using that shape as a guide and TA-DA! They match! For different eye shapes you tweak the angle of the two guide lines.
And it also helps with angles where the size and shape of the eye is distorted, you just put it in perspective.
I think the theory behind it is that the thing that makes it hard to make the eyes match is the angle of the corners, and this type of guideline helps make them even, which makes the eyes look symmetrical. Welp, here it is! I hope it helps someone!
reblog to save a life
hey quick question, why is this the funniest reddit comment i have ever read in my entire life
That sounded expensive
What are your elected officials doing with all of your tax money?
Embezzling
When draft horsies do that loping run reblog if you agree
simultaneously adorable and terrifying. All that mass and powerâŠ.
Me, giving a guided tour of the farm: And if youâll direct your attention to this field you will see that this horse is evolving into a Fighting Type
*Blomp*Â *Blomp*Â *Blomp*Â *Blomp*
this never gets old
I met the creator of this a month ago and he said he got a lot of hate mail from dudebros who thought that he was a woman complaining about these problems.
Gold.
Bolding mine.
Watch the real thing. Its perfectly creepy
this is also the guy who made ânight in the woodsâ btw