Because Everyone Else Was Doing It @quondamprolix - Tumblr Blog

for the record im not technially 100% anti-AI, in the sense that its a broad category of tech being lumped under one umbrella term so it feels over-zealous to say i hate all of it all the time forever. but i also think trying to discuss what it actually IS good for is difficult right now when i cant take one step without something trying to convince me to use chatgpt to summarize my life and speed up my hobbies and turn my friends into chatbots and optimize my life into oblivion. i am certain there is nuance to the topic but can we stop cramming the square peg into the round hole before you start trying to sell me on the legitimate benefits of the square peg. please.

ralfmaximus

Neural Nets have existed for decades and are genuinely useful. It's a form of AI that recognizes patterns, and can do stuff like identify cancer cells, tell whether an egg is fertilized or not, detect fraud, and optimize routes.

Those are Expert Systems, tuned to do exactly one thing. If you (say) ask a medical expert system a question about financial law, it's useless. The autopilot that flies a 787 has no idea how to drive a truck on the freeway. A Coulter Counter is excellent at identifying lymphocytes in a blood sample but can't predict the next card in a blackjack game.

And so on.

The problem with so-called generalized AI (AGI) is that we don't have that yet. It doesn't exist. It MIGHT some day, but AGI has been "10 years away" since the 1980s. The goals keep moving as we learn more about how people and machines process data.

But the current crop of AI techbros have been selling generative Large Language Model AI (LLM) as AGI because generative systems do a good job of faking it. There's no actual thought going on, merely the illusion of thought via predicting the next word in a sentence accurately.

If you let a human toddler listen to 800 hours of YouTube car influencer videos, that toddler might end up sounding like a car influencer. They'd parrot horsepower numbers and 0 to 60 times, mention EV range and MSRP numbers.

But they wouldn't understand any of it.

That's ChatGPT.

And yeah, it's worse than useless because it doesn't even know when it's lying or hallucinating. It just babbles convincingly until you stop it.

But for techbros to make money selling that as "AI"? It's the perfect scam, especially if you don't understand how it works.

I fucking hate it.

digitalkiddo

If you're writing anything involving cons, scams, heists, or morally questionable characters who are very good at lying, here are some free resources I've been using for research. Saving you the "why is this in my search history" anxiety.

1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.

2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.

3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.

4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.

5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.

Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.

Reblog to save for later. Your WIP will thank you.

thefinalsnart

John Carpenter’s The Thang

Doodles I did to keep myself awake this morning, after accidentally waking up at 6:30.

The real Thing is MacReady’s Big Hat.

ms-demeanor

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

#never not reblog this #always reblog

detectivehole

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

detectivehole

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

qqueenofhades

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

flavinbagel

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

theterriblethingabouttulio

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

kat-witha-k

This is fucking insane

brightlotusmoon

mod2amaryllis

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

worldheritageposts-official

World Heritage Post

depsidase

bettyrightnow

this picture kills me he thinks this whole damn event is about him

snissel7

and he’s right

scumbagsblog

where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"

#slams reblog #posts that hit 🎯#red green #🍁#posts for those over age 40

the-forest-library

Aegina, Greece

#greece #travel goals #i want to go to there

shiverandqueeef

how measurements work in canada (ie/ badly)

your-dads-filing-cabinet

@/teaboot

teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

letoghanima

#there was probably dialogue but honestly who cares

ayrki

It’s funny cause you know he could recite what she said word-for-word while the rest of us are just useless.

#rachel weisz #brendan fraser #the mummy returns #I can't believe it took another decade to realize I'm bi #bisexual #bisexual bait #🪤

grumpyjesterr

on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldn’t help feel like the O’Connells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The O’Connells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibin’ over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time

grumpyjesterr

Morticia: “So what is it you do for a living my dear?”

Evelyn: “We dig up dead people who often have monstrous curses placed on them!”

Morticia: “fascinating”

grumpyjesterr

Gomez: *leaping out from behind a pillar which is encrusted with ominous looking runes* en garde!

Rick: *grabs sword from equally ominous looking wall full of weapons one of which seems to be glowing* fantastic I was getting a bit rusty

Gomez: *nearly in tears* oh he’s screaming nonsensically, what spirit! what reslove!

grumpyjesterr

*Rick and Gomez, still frantically sword fighting*

Rick: Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is yet, I really feel like I haven’t really expanded enough on how wonderful she is

Gomez: do go on, I would be delighted to hear about how wonderful your wife is, I strongly encourge all men to extoll the virtues of their wives with rapturous praise, however I should perhaps mention my wife is in fact better

*sword fighting intensifies as both men rapturously extoll the virtues of their wives*

digitaldiscipline

Jonathan and Fester and Cousin Itt watch from the bar, where Lurch and Thing are making the drinks.

lemonsharks

Jonathan and Thing knew one another from The War; each thought the other to be dead

Their reunion is highly emotional

burntcopper

Rick, whilst swordfighting: My wife resurrected an ancient evil that brought about the plagues.

Gomez: What. A. Woman.

#bwahahaha #amazing #great work everyone #the mummy 1999 #the addams family #crossover #fandom

jkottke

Joe “Handyman” Negri, a Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fixture, has died at age 99. “He really was like the friendly fellow you might find walking around a neighborhood. He was just incredibly gentle as a person, but also as a musician.”

#gnu #mister rogers #mr. rogers #day in the neighborhood

callmebliss

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

callmebliss

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

breelandwalker

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

traegorn

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

breelandwalker

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

dandelion-witch

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

breelandwalker

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

tribblesandtribulations

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

breelandwalker

moiracolleenodell

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

amastodonofconflict

phizgigz

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

olliums

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

aniseandspearmint

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

oft-goes-awry

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

somethinginterestingithink

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

oft-goes-awry

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

justgot1

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

strid3rofthen0rth

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

arianrhodsgarden

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

callmebliss

Oh my ZOD I love that

astrid4189

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

annleckie

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

gallusrostromegalus

Hello international friends, I am delighted to report all of the above is real :)

Not to come in with a steel chair here, but the ideal pairing for cranberry sauce in all forms, and the meat we *should* be serving at Thanksgiving, rather than easy-to-improperly cook turkey that tastes like napkins, is Lamb.

gingersnapwolves

okay but I still want to know what dolphins have to do with this???

gingersnapwolves

I have consulted The Ancient Texts (aka my mother in law) and have found confirmation that slicing is correct because why else would this exist?

dyedvioletreblogs

Ten minutes for homemade cranberry sauce??????? What are you on. No. That's 40 minutes minimum and you better be adding pepper flakes and orange juice.