Rabid Rambling

Listen even I don't know whats going on here there's no organised tagging just me screaming into the void ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[tomoless]

Careful Bruce! You’ll claw his eye out…

[deecotan]

hot hunk of a firefighter and a wealthy doctor fall in love with each other and are being hopeless romantics about it

[ecstasydemon]

the part of adulthood that no one ever warns you about is the amount of surfaces you need to acquire to put your things and trinkets on

[thestroyer]

[dee-the-red-witch]

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PAINT JOB I NEED ON MY CAR.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

driving my newly painted car down to my job at the children’s hospital

[charlesoberonn]

Sci-fi: Credits?

Fantasy: Gold pieces. Quests?

Sci-fi: Missions. Bounty hunters?

Fantasy: Sellswords. Magic?

Sci-fi: *sigh* Science.

Sci-fi: . . . Crystals?

Fantasy: Crystals!

Sci-fi: Crystals!

Both: ♪ Crystals! Crystals! Crystals! ♫

[charlesoberonn]

Fantasy: Princesses?

Sci-fi: Princesses! Ancient civilizations?

Fantasy: Ancient civilizations! Dashing rogues?

Sci-fi: Dashing rogues! Non-human people?

Fantasy: Non-human people! . . . Sexy non-human people?

Sci-fi: *wiggles eyebrows* Sexy non-human people.

[gaynehollander]

I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.

[gaynehollander]

Meanwhile, Shane Oral Fixation Hollander always has some part of Ilya in his mouth. So they're cuddled up, Ilya's right hand on Shane's ass, the left one in his mouth and it's become so normal that neither one of them gives it a second thought. There's definitely a time or two where they accidentally do it around other people, like they're watching a scary movie with the Pikes and don't realise that Shane's had two of Ilya's fingers in his mouth for the past ten minutes until Hyden catches it out of the corner of his eye and goes "dude, what the fuck??" or they're heading back with the Cens after a series of away games and they're cuddled up on the plane, both half asleep, when Ilya's hand just makes its way down Shane's pants to rest in the crease of his groin and when Troy says "Roz, you'll be home in like two hours, can't that wait?" neither one of them realises what he's even referring to.

[fuckrozanov]

can i hijack this post with a snippet from something ill likely never finish

[ilyapasta]

Assorted free-range headcanons about Hollanov at 45-55 years old:

Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.

One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.

Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.

Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.

Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.

Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition

New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking

Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.

Add your ownnnnn

[darlingofdots]

there's a theragun in every room of the house and trying to unfuck their various Busted Ass Issues becomes just another step in sex prep

Shane is terrorising the local birdwatching community

Ilya is personally if inadvertently responsible for at least four divorces among his kid's schoolmate's parents

every time they attend a Centaurs game they end up on kiss cam (which isn't even a THING Shane is convinced they do this just to fuck with him) and they always pretend to be reluctant and roll their eyes and oh, fine, if you insist *smooch* *deafening cheers*

they're not really famous anymore anywhere EXCEPT Ottawa, where they're very famous but everybody's kind of agreed to be chill about it and also now that they ACTUALLY have time to spare they're just like, doing stuff. so you get an excited insta post from somebody new in town like omg i think i just saw shane hollander at tim horton's??? and the comments are all "dude obviously he always gets a coffee and a box of timbits thursday afternoon, where else would he be"

[robs-your-robins]

Bruce, concussed after a kidnap attempt: Who are you? You look familiar?

Green Arrow: I'm Green Arrow, Mr Wayne. Now, these guys are going to get you to the hospital. You just hang in there, OK?

Green Lantern: Before you go Mr Wayne, what can you tell us anything you know about-?

Bruce: Clark Kent and Superman are having an affair.

Hal:

Oliver:

Bruce: I walked in on them at last year's mayoral ball. I'm OK with it, Superman was just using me for my body but we can't tell Lois Lane. She's going to be so mad 😭.

[batkidsaremadkids]

[fihella]

Yoooooou~ like…Me!”

*nod nod*”

[creamsiclemelt]

the thing about dog shane is that hes ilyas dog with the tail plug in and the the mitts on and the muzzle on but he's also ilya's dog all the time.

he's ilya's dog when he's trying to anticipate all of ilya's needs and give them to him at the cottage and then waiting nice and still to be told what ilya wants next. he's ilya's dog even when they're having sex their regular way (by which i mean the d/s way) and he's following ilya's orders.

he's ilya's dog when he's letting ilya pet him and calm him down and let him stay on his knees when he's overwhelmed. he's ilya's dog when he's in the bathroom following orders for the sake of following orders and the reward isn't what he thinks he will get but what ilya wants to give him and is satisfying to him anyways.

when hes looking to obey an order and do it Perfectly Right Without Any Mistakes he's ilya's dog. when he's upset and snapping at ilya, trying to start a fight so that he can be muzzled, he's ilya's dog.

hes a dog hes literally ilya's dog.

[crunch-barr]

hollanova art block defeater

[king-carnivore]

what really fucks me up about watching the truman show in 2025 is how it's not fictional. truman is fictional, but the truman show isn't.

there's thousands of truman shows. you find them on youtube, tiktok, instagram... family and mommy vloggers, sad beige moms and now the trend of neglectful moms showing the "reality" of parenting. all of them using their kids for entertainment. each child their own truman; living a life manufactured by their parents, a camera watching their every moment, broadcasted for the entire world to see.

[king-carnivore]

tbh, i didn't even think about that when i made my post and holy shit you're so fucking right

[scunthotter]

Its so important to remember that when Shane says "Ilya noooo, Ilya ewww, what the fuck Ilya" that this is him giggling and kicking his feet. The man is not a killjoy he just loves being chased.

[bolshe-ilya]

You have to imagine Shane as the Morticia Addams of the relationship.

Ilya, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.

[wrishwrosh]

ive said it before and i’ll say it again not enough historical romance focuses on technicalities

[wrishwrosh]

really for this kind of thing it’s no use going to published trad romance and i should know that. the really good shit is 400k on fanfiction dot net for a heterosexual pairing you’ve never considered from a piece of media you havent thought about in years written by a bored doctoral candidate who’s read a lot of primary sources from the long 18th century

[wrishwrosh]

recently rediscovered my absolute favorite entry in the genre: customs and duties by tortoiseshells, which is an insane technicalityromance set in 1738 boston, ft the stuffy british navy guy from pirates of the caribbean/ofc, smuggling, puritanism in the john calvin sense, the legal realities of widowhood, several real historical governors of massachusetts, debts, accounts, and of course customs regulations

[marzipanandminutiae]

I would also like to nominate and psyche's lamp shall darkling be, a story based on the 2025 Frankenstein movie that gets into the intricacies of 1850s convent school life, the process of Catholic ecclesiastical courts verifying miracles, multiple points of mid 19th century marriage and inheritance laws pertaining to property, and also spells the word connection with an X so you know the author has been in the 19th century literature trenches 

[newtsfrogstoads]

Going from being an introverted lurker on reddit to trying to post my own stuff here is so wild. I keep typing out a post, deleting it, then retyping because I think it's not good enough but then I look at other posts and why am I so worried?

It's like I'm at a fancy Italian restaurant and keep glancing around the room to see which hand people use to pick up the forks. But then I realize that everyone is shoveling spaghetti into their mouths using their bare hands and I'm like ah okay so I'm clearly overthinking this

[newtsfrogstoads]

This restaurant is absolute chaos and I'm giving it 5 stars

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

[draconym]

Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.

The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--

(paper towel roll falls on my face)

Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.

[draconym]

Me, 3am: But am I even deserving of love

The Steve Irwin That Lives In My Brain: Crikey, get a look at this art teacher! These are so important to the local area, right, because they create habitat for heaps of vulnerable critters like juvenile nerds, goths, and furries. I love finding these because they often have these great ornamentations that they can use to identify one another. Take a look at the piercings and tattoos, here. Absolutely gorgeous! Let's let this one get back to sleep.