[bitethebullets]

the loss of the audio jack is due to puritan culture hating on penetration

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[maykitz]

the amount of maintenance being alive requires.. i got nothing against eating but 3x a day, every day? couple hours max until you feel hunger coming back? the same teethbrushing routine every morning and night forever? showering doesn't last more than a day? give me a break

[beardedmrbean]

[beardedmrbean]

[cellobuster]

Whoever invented "open in app" links that redirect you to the app store instead of actually opening the app even when you already have the app installed on your phone should be involuntarily turned into a beanbag chair

[deadgenerations]

the mitski child slavery rumour was of course insane and kind of damning how quickly everyone believed and spread it but in fairness there had been an actual child slave scandal involving a prominent user on here like, not long before. so it wasnt without precedent

[ruinedchildhood]

[rowantula]

neolithic inhabitant of the andean plateau: hmm i wonder if there are any good edible tubers growing around here

the humble potato:

[transfaguette]

hey kinda messed up that 1st degree burn is the mildest burn but 1st degree murder is the worst murder. they should have collaborated more on that one.

[bogleech]

why do the words caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing. Shouldn't they be rival jobs that undo each others progress

[fireopals]

[beemovieerotica]

Do u not enjoy tasting things

true story my spouse made me start chewing my food more often and I was shocked at how flavorful things are. I'm 32

[redrook]

when he first started dating he was sick a lot, and told me about a family legend that they were cursed with stomach problems because his ancestor was a samurai who had failed to commit sepukku, and now they all needed to experience the pain that he should have

and then one day we were having dinner and I was like. hey. are you not chewing your fucking food

and then I met his family. and they all just unhinge their jaws like snakes. horking shit down like wide-eyed seagulls at the beach

anyway he mostly chews his food now and the ancestral samurai's curse has left him

[beemovieerotica]

correlation is not causation

[sacred-portal]

[indigosfindings]

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

[dreadwedge]

used to be people would say things like "avast" or "hither and yon". nowadays folks mostly say stuff like "ethernet cable"

[warriorprincesstramp]

the ear nose and throat being all connected is so heinous

[warriorprincesstramp]

worst throuple ever and the sex is disgusting!!!