Der Himmel ist mein Zimmer. @rageful-prey - Tumblr Blog

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♥️ this is a vent blog, sorry you stumbled across it.

♥️ normal blog----- @alwaysprey

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#I am #unsure of things #I don't know if things are working and I'm just tired

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#Accidentally left my iPad signed into my abusers Netflix account #(I only use it to draw for the most part and watch Netflix on my laptop)#he has a family account with his new GF and her kids #it shocked me bc I try really hard not to think about him anymore because I just completely disappear when that happens #anyways #He fucked me up #but at least I don't respond to porn bots on reddit at 39 years old #fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou #I hope you're unhappy #and you kys #(yes I know it's unhealthy to check up on him)#I think it makes me feel like I have a sense of control #like I have to keep confirming he's a bad person still

powerbottombrucespringsteen

And the number one halloween costume amongst the youth of today is, for a record breaking 63 years in a row, Scout’s ham costume from To Kill A Mockingbird

fellas

what do we do when we feel unlovable and awful and you push everyone away who loves you to prove your point that you're unlovable

aa a a a a a a a a a. a a

#obviously there is a dark sticky awfulness in the pit of my stomach #also I'm on my period sT I L L #angeltalk

bitchi4mwillywonka

i lied it actually did so much damage to me that i will never feel safe in love ever again

oldwinesoul

wordswithimages

gabapentinblues

horrible sinking feeling that i'll never belong anywhere

obscurix

i feel so left out. like everyone around me knows how to be a human and i don’t.

traumasurvivors

Something my friend and I were talking about that I think is important is what can happen sometimes when abuse stops.

For my friend, she expressed that her mental health got worse when the abuse stopped. And we talk about that because for a lot of survivors, it’s what happens when we’re feel we’re safe now and our brains begin to process the trauma. But there can be other reasons, too. And for her, it was because she suddenly didn’t feel important anymore. Because while the cruelty sucked, it made her feel she mattered. After it was done, the person was indifferent to her and it felt worse to her.

And I asked her if it was okay if I talked about this because it isn’t something I’d thought of before and I imagine there’s a lot of people who could benefit from me sharing her experience so you know you aren’t alone.

If that’s how you feel, your feelings are valid. And it doesn’t mean you deserved the abuse. It’s okay if your feelings are complicated. You aren’t alone and you are still worthy. Always.