“the universe can’t get any bigger, it’s already biggest!”
*loud, terrible singing of defying gravity from wicked*
“i could reenact the entire opening scene from the lion king RIGHT NOW if i wanted to. i just need a cat & some funky face paint.”
“dick pics? how about dog pics?”
*googles pictures of funny dogs*
“look at this freaking dog, look at him, he has a freaking PEANUT BUTTER JAR STUCK ON HIS NOSE!”
“oh my god what is happening, i’m so confused, someone hold me.”
“ ____, get off the floor.”
“the floor is my kingdom now, you can’t tell the queen/king of the floor to do anything!”
“i literally wrote in the essay ‘do you even read these’ & got a 100%.”
“( place completely ridiculous nickname here ) IS A TOTALLY VALID & GOOD NAME TO GO BY.”
“he looked at me! he LOOKED AT ME, & I LOOKED AT HIM! we looked at each other, WE’RE IN LOVE!”
“you can’t just go up to the money guy at taco bell & ask for his number.”
“well look at that, apparently you can go up to random guys at taco bell & get their number.”
“they …. ran out of mac ‘n’ cheese the minute i got to the front of the line … EVERYTHING IS FOR NAUGHT, MY LIFE IS OVER, GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!”
“it’s literally just macaroni, i could go home & make you some right now & bring it to you tomorrow.”
“please, please, please bring me mac ‘n’ cheese. please.”
“why is this a daily thing in our lives?”
“wait …. if theodore isn’t after franklin roosevelt … who was president after him?”
“was theodore roosevelt even a president …?”
“the entire time we were taking that test, i had fergalicious stuck in my head.”
“let’s braid our hair together! it’ll be like tying each others shoe laces to each other, but instead it’s braids!”
“no, no — that’s a terrible idea, how about we tie our shirt sleeves together!”
“why not both?”
“WHY IS FOOD CONFINED TO BREAKFAST, LUNCH, & DINNER. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE JUDGED FOR FINISHING MY HOMEWORK WHILE EATING AN ITALIAN SUB SANDWICH AT 7 AM. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.”
“sometimes i think about dinosaurs & what it would be like if they weren’t extinct & how it would be to ride on one.”
“can you imagine it??? in zoo’s, the signs would be all like, dinosaur rides, $5 each! & you can just fly around or run around with your dinosaur pal!”
“we should bring dinosaurs back, why did they just fade out?”
“dinosaurs didn’t fade out, they exploded from a meteor ….”
“please, just get some sleep. maybe you’ll stop saying stupid stuff if you do.”
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