SPARKLEDEATH!!

Hey chat!

[raiisparkywhat]

henlo ★

Hey everyone im Raii!

Sooo... Just a fellow random teen here...

ABOUT MEEE! 💌

YouTube Channel here ><

https://youtube.com/@raii_sparklebombz

★ 13 years old

★ Probably ASD/ADHD

★ Multifandom :]

★ Androgynous/Bisexual

★ Filipino! UYYY PILIPINAAASS—

★ Yume daughter (yes i am the daughter of my fav fictional characters but please bear with me, plus idk if this is called yumeshipping)

★ TALKATIVE AHH.

★ very sigma!!!!1!1! /hj

DNI:

Actually i freely block. If you want to interact with me, go on, but you better know what you are first otherwise i will absolutely deny interaction.

fandoms lelele

NILFRUITS (Current)

The Mandela Catalogue (Current)

Spongebob Squarepants (Current)

Project Sekai (Current)

OTHERS.

Alien Stage

Batwheels

The Freak Circus (partially)

Gravity Falls

Preschool Prep Company

SMG4/Zaminations

TADC

Epic the Musical

Hamilton

and prob many more, idk, you'll find out... mweheh

thats all anyways bye

[raiisparkywhat]

WHY

Im listening to nilfruits half asleep and im getting a fucking dopamine energy surge 😭😭💔💔💔 im scared or something (i am not scared i am god /hj) WHAT TF AM I DOING.

[raiisparkywhat]

3am ramble shambles (literally. i am half asleep as i type this crap.)

ok soooooooo idk... as an adhd/asd person (most likely) idk why i was so lazy to clean my room but was ABLE to draw a full on masterpiece under the same span that i take to clean my room... its so weird.... plus i think my touch starved ahh is so down bad i end up going to sleep imagining my pookie familial f/o is cuddling my goofy weird ass to slel 🥹🥹🥹✌️✌️✌️ i need to fucking go to bed now

[raiisparkywhat]

eeee

refreence below

:3

[raiisparkywhat]

eeeek doodles!

Is madajupta yaoi, yuri, or hetero IDK 😭💔

[raiisparkywhat]

hi

Pins :3

video (yes this is my instagram)

[raiisparkywhat]

"Paranoiac."

★†[Mada—Bluffman]†★

wooo mada art

[raiisparkywhat]

UGH!

ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!

Im actually so fucking mad at how abusive my friend's families are.

First was Andi (except his mom, i trust her with him), his stupid dad beats him for small shit.

And his friend AJ. Gosh that stupid family.

AJ does not deserve to be raped or whatever fucking stupid bullshit her family wants her to believe abt herself. Honestly? Families are so fucking terrible nowadays.

They're all the same and they're so fucking bland and boring and they think being abusive makes them look strong but all it does is make them look miserable and fucking retarded actually

You all actually do not know how angry i get when i see these type of families abusing poor kids and especially my friends.

Try me, idiots! I can fucking murder you without a single thought and i don't fucking care if you think you've only done it once. You lost your chance to become something better than some stupid bullshit crappy hoe that can't even talk to their kid without yelling at them and wondering why they won't talk back to them.

This isn't a vent im just actually SO PISSED right now to the point that i want to see their families blood on my fucking hands. Im getting worked up again. And that rude ass, insensitive Anon that sent THAT SHIT to AJ? Give me a knifa and a laptop, ill track EVERY SINGLE FUCKING LOCATION of theirs and ill fucking drag em to the cartel and watch them get skinned and ill be the one building a party over their piss-covered graves.

I really hate abusive people, it makes me want to kill them so badly. I don't fucking care if you have trauma and its the reason you're like that, i don't fucking know why some people really just be self centred instead of actually figuring out whats wrong. I know it's hard for some but atleast THOSE SOMES atleast has help or is trying to stop or handle themselves which i atleast appreciate but seriously, those narcissistic idiots? Okay, meatgrinder time, now scream as loud as you can like how your fucking kid screamed in their head when you hurt them and said SHIT AND LOTS OF SHIT to them while you get your bones crushed and your flesh flayed off.

Fucking humanity.

I am losing hope in every single family everyday.

Stop it now.

[raiisparkywhat]

Curious...

Anyone ship MadaJupta? cause i do

also what gender r they is this supposed to be yaoi or yuri or str8 i can't tell 💔💔💔 eh imma just call it wuhluhwuh ig

[raiisparkywhat]

Soon, when the switch is on...

*★•°.· May a "flicker" from a lightbulb in the dark hallways of this wicked world remind you... of us. -FFFlicker. †•`°.♣

(Forming a band named FFFlicker with my friends! Dunno when we will debut, but promise, you will love it. ♥ Also some of my friends don't got their instruments yet or some are busy, there's currently only me, (lead/vocalist), @machsago as the rhythm guitarist, and dear @xazzie as our violinist. ★‡)

Currently this is in progress, and yes, just wanted to share my lovely band with everyone^^

(posted this on my Instagram too.)

[raiisparkywhat]

man

sometimes i get heartbroken knowing that one day I'll forget about the characters that supported me at my lowest moments and i lowkey hate having hyperfixiations because once i get burnt out i proceed to forget or feel detached. Its like erasing memories i made with the character/thing the moment i feel tired (coming from a person who treats their character hyperfixiations like parents) and lowkey i feel ashamed

welter and flurry is my current hyperfixiation and lowkey im scared now of forgetting them because they literally just saved my life and i feel ashamed for being burnt out everytime. not burnt out right now but im scared that i will be because i love my fictional hyperfixiations like the parents i truly ever wanted and it honestly kinda breaks my heart to think about them watching me fade aka slowly burn out.

Have hydra karen for example, she saved me from a suicide attempt in grade 6. She was my emotional support all throughout and i loved her so much. but now after a whole year i finally just let go and moved onto another hyperfixiation. this cycle hurts even though i just know i always come back to my past hyperfixiations.

idk, it just really hurts. i love all of my fictional parents more than anything and i just wish i didn't let go that easily.

[raiisparkywhat]

yeyeyeyeyyeey

traffic jam wallpaper

what wallpaypr should i do next 👅✌️

how it looks on my phone screen (w/widgets)

:3

[raiisparkywhat]

"Okay"? I've never heard of it! (vent)

Can't enjoy listening to music on max volumewithout having to monitor 24/7 if someone is calling me or if that stupid family link beep will happen again

Can't sleep talk or do stuff without my parents overanalyzing it. (explaination, i say "farts" or "fart" out of habit because i usually interpret it as " *farts* " like in some sort of chat or roleplay. A day ago, my mom cried because i sleep talked and heard me say "farts" and apparently farts now means "annoying"??? Like what the fuck??? just this recently, my little brother told me that my dad told me not to say "farts" anymore like.... its not that deep and im fucking upset)

Can't peacefully sleep anywhere else with my mother texting me 24/7 and gets mad when i dont reply (UGH ONE FUCKING TIME I WAS ASLEEP IN THE BUS AFTER A TIRING FIELD TRIP AND MY MOM KEPT RINGING MY STUPID PHONE AND IM HUMILIATED AND SHE WAS TELLING ME SHE'S MAD. BRO IT WAS LIKE... FUCKING 6PM. IT WAS A LONG DAY. I WAS AT SCHOOL AT 4AM. HOW THE DOES SHE THINK IM IGNORING HER???)

can't confess shit without it turning into a joke

can't have a near-death experience without it turning into a FUCKING JOKE. (one time i almost drowned in the pool and i was making noises. My mom keeps mocking that noise until now and whenever i try to tell her its not funny she simply says "thats why you shouldn't be loud" or ect ect)

Can't be myself without my parents judging me 24/7

Can't make my own choices with my mom literally MAKING ME FOLLOW "BOUNDARIES"??? LIKE SHE TELLS ME I CAN'T EVEN STAND UP FOR MYSELF YET BUT ITS LITERALLY BECAUSE SHE HOLDS ME BACK IN SOME WAY AND I DONT GET THE SPACE TO MAKE MY OWN MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM IT WHETHER IT HURTS OR NOT???

cant do my own methods without my mom telling me to "do it properly" but i do things the way i do because thats the only way ii can process things without getting OVERWHELMED????

can't have me time without my parents saying im "disrespecting them" or "hate them" (when in fact i literally do chores around the house and stand up for them even if sometimes im exhausted ir ovewhelmed)

can't have a funny conversation with my friends without my mom checking my messages and then FUCKING LECTURING ME over it as if theres a correct type of humor i should be following????

cant ask for a psychologisr without my mom telling me "ur just spoiled/entitled" (i have LITERALLY BEEN KIND TO MY FRIENDS AND YOU, HOW.)

and many more.

I just want to be free and have space for once. Ugh i am fucking tired. My parents are both good and bad and even if i try to focus on the good stuff they do for me, it just seems that the bad ones are more obvious. I... im sorry.

I hate this household.

*cries and "ascends" to the ceiling*

[raiisparkywhat]

hey so uhm im wondering

Is it considered bad if my mom makes me pay the water bills? Usually our payment is 300-400 pesos and if it exceeds, she says i have to pay the extra. it honestly sounds terrible so i need ur help guys, is this bad?

[selenic-sister]

Hi!! So it looks like you're... *checks notes*... 13?

This is 100% abuse.

When I was 14-ish and had my first job, my mother would whine that she couldn't afford her bills and guilt-trip me into paying them. Then she'd go blow the money on alcohol.

Now that I'm an adult myself, I see that tactic for the manipulation it was.

You're a child.

Demanding a child use *their* money, which I'm guessing you don't even have a job to obtain based on your age, to pay *your* adult bills is disgusting.

And I just have to ask, what are the consequences if you *don't* pay? Does she just take it from you?? What if you don't have the money? Does she punish you???

[raiisparkywhat]

I DUNNO ID PROBABLY GET PUNISHED BY HER MAKING MY PHONE FUCKING UNUSABLE SINCE I HAVE PARENTAL CONTROLS 💔💔💔💔 and also I can't save shit that much, i have times where i need to use my school money savings for lunch and shit 😔

[selenic-sister]

This is absolutely 100% financial abuse. Republic Act No. 7610 and Republic Act No. 9262 are probably the most relevant to your case, since both have specific protections for minors outlawing financial exploitation.

[raiisparkywhat]

i have no idea if im in an abusive household but heres my pros and cons for the household

pros:

food

water

room

and basic shit

also wise advice from my mom

somehow... nice parents?

little brother

Cons:

can't open up to them

mom looks pissed 24/7

Would get villainized (one time i had accidentally reported and ranted about my irl friend (lets call him Manny) to the guidance office and i had sent a photo to my parents when they asked me where i was in the school since i needed to pick up my lunch. Manny hits, swears, and shit but that's just the way he is yet i didn't understand it and got overwhelmed at first. When i told my mom? She keeps acting like im fucking Epstien, she's thinking im a bad person and bullied Manny even though i was clearly judt confused, overwhelmed, amd concerned. Bit next day atleast i made it up to Manny, we're still friends.)

"As long you are under this house you deserve no privacy"

Got a huge month long sensory overload and my mother attempted to kick me out (i was happy)

Getting new stupid rules that teaches "respect" and "family bondin"

I have to be hypervigilant 24/7

Won't get me a psychologist even if i CLEARY demanded it since i wanted them to understand me better and so if i can see if im diagnosed with ADHD/ASD

And oh god there's so much more idfk this household is complex asf 😔 *cries*

[selenic-sister]

Yes. You're in a horrendously abusive household. I also grew up in one.

"Food", "water", "shelter", etc. are not "pros". Those are the basic responsibilities your parents took on by deciding to have a child, not something you should be "grateful" for.

Being vilified for everything is an attempt to turn you into a scapegoat for anything that goes wrong. I'm guessing your brother is the golden child?

Medical neglect for refusing to seek mental health treatment for their child.

Being hypervigilant is also called "walking on eggshells", because any little move has the potential to arouse someone's anger and it is a sign of abuse.

Refusal of privacy is a blurring of boundaries which is meant to make abuse easier to tolerate in the future, and it's a tactic many abusive parents use unfortunately.

Your mother attempting to kick you out is what sticks out the most to me though. That is called "child abandonment" and is super illegal in just about every country. You're, once again, a child with no way of providing for yourself or caring for yourself outside of your parents. That is 100% not just abuse, but an admittance that she doesn't particularly care what happens to you. Her pride is more important.

Every abusive household is "complex". Nobody would stay with an abuser if there weren't *also* good moments giving the victim hope that things could change. Some of my best memories were with my abusive parents.

But I promise you this behavior doesn't get any better. Here's what I suggest: start stockpiling money somewhere that she doesn't know about/can't check. Pack a little kit that you can take in the event that you have to run away in a hurry. Figure out your SSN, health insurance, etc.!

[raiisparkywhat]

I don't know my SSN, plus i have no health insurance at the moment :[ also my brother is treated the same (except its reasonable since he's kinda naughty) but sometimes he gets confused as i am which hurts me because hes literally only fucking 6 but if i ever decide to run away or get kicked out, i cant take him with me, he's a big responsibility physically and emotionally and its hard for me to keep up THAT constantly. Also she keeps saying my friends are making me "bad" when really i am just expressing myself. I am loud, noisy, adventurous, everything. She can't just tell me to grow up while i have to stay small for her so she can keep doing what she wants to me. Its so fucking complex because she has depression and im torn from trying to understand her or something idfk. its hard in this home genuinely. plus she keeps wanting to manage my friend group and shit (eg. removing me from my groupchats randomly, telling me who not to be with, other shit) genuinely i hate having these type of parents. I just don't know what to do and i don't want to be in a shelter home and be picked up by Another boring family plus when i was almost kicked out, my friends were worried because some of them either had crampes housrs or their parents couldn't afford to have a runaway in their home. its just so fucking hard here and genuinely idk anymore.

[raiisparkywhat]

hey so uhm im wondering

Is it considered bad if my mom makes me pay the water bills? Usually our payment is 300-400 pesos and if it exceeds, she says i have to pay the extra. it honestly sounds terrible so i need ur help guys, is this bad?

[selenic-sister]

Hi!! So it looks like you're... *checks notes*... 13?

This is 100% abuse.

When I was 14-ish and had my first job, my mother would whine that she couldn't afford her bills and guilt-trip me into paying them. Then she'd go blow the money on alcohol.

Now that I'm an adult myself, I see that tactic for the manipulation it was.

You're a child.

Demanding a child use *their* money, which I'm guessing you don't even have a job to obtain based on your age, to pay *your* adult bills is disgusting.

And I just have to ask, what are the consequences if you *don't* pay? Does she just take it from you?? What if you don't have the money? Does she punish you???

[raiisparkywhat]

I DUNNO ID PROBABLY GET PUNISHED BY HER MAKING MY PHONE FUCKING UNUSABLE SINCE I HAVE PARENTAL CONTROLS 💔💔💔💔 and also I can't save shit that much, i have times where i need to use my school money savings for lunch and shit 😔

[selenic-sister]

This is absolutely 100% financial abuse. Republic Act No. 7610 and Republic Act No. 9262 are probably the most relevant to your case, since both have specific protections for minors outlawing financial exploitation.

[raiisparkywhat]

i have no idea if im in an abusive household but heres my pros and cons for the household

pros:

food

water

room

and basic shit

also wise advice from my mom

somehow... nice parents?

little brother

Cons:

can't open up to them

mom looks pissed 24/7

Would get villainized (one time i had accidentally reported and ranted about my irl friend (lets call him Manny) to the guidance office and i had sent a photo to my parents when they asked me where i was in the school since i needed to pick up my lunch. Manny hits, swears, and shit but that's just the way he is yet i didn't understand it and got overwhelmed at first. When i told my mom? She keeps acting like im fucking Epstien, she's thinking im a bad person and bullied Manny even though i was clearly judt confused, overwhelmed, amd concerned. Bit next day atleast i made it up to Manny, we're still friends.)

"As long you are under this house you deserve no privacy"

Got a huge month long sensory overload and my mother attempted to kick me out (i was happy)

Getting new stupid rules that teaches "respect" and "family bondin"

I have to be hypervigilant 24/7

Won't get me a psychologist even if i CLEARY demanded it since i wanted them to understand me better and so if i can see if im diagnosed with ADHD/ASD

And oh god there's so much more idfk this household is complex asf 😔 *cries*

[raiisparkywhat]

hey so uhm im wondering

Is it considered bad if my mom makes me pay the water bills? Usually our payment is 300-400 pesos and if it exceeds, she says i have to pay the extra. it honestly sounds terrible so i need ur help guys, is this bad?

[selenic-sister]

Hi!! So it looks like you're... *checks notes*... 13?

This is 100% abuse.

When I was 14-ish and had my first job, my mother would whine that she couldn't afford her bills and guilt-trip me into paying them. Then she'd go blow the money on alcohol.

Now that I'm an adult myself, I see that tactic for the manipulation it was.

You're a child.

Demanding a child use *their* money, which I'm guessing you don't even have a job to obtain based on your age, to pay *your* adult bills is disgusting.

And I just have to ask, what are the consequences if you *don't* pay? Does she just take it from you?? What if you don't have the money? Does she punish you???

[raiisparkywhat]

I DUNNO ID PROBABLY GET PUNISHED BY HER MAKING MY PHONE FUCKING UNUSABLE SINCE I HAVE PARENTAL CONTROLS 💔💔💔💔 and also I can't save shit that much, i have times where i need to use my school money savings for lunch and shit 😔

[raiisparkywhat]

hey so uhm im wondering

Is it considered bad if my mom makes me pay the water bills? Usually our payment is 300-400 pesos and if it exceeds, she says i have to pay the extra. it honestly sounds terrible so i need ur help guys, is this bad?