Wonderland

How deep does the rabbit hole go? And into the darkness you write

[raindripsonthewindow]

Staring at you feeling like I could for hours.

I gasped when you hugged me.

I shouldn’t fall

But God I already have.

You feel like forever.

[raindripsonthewindow]

I wanna know what you look like when your eyes smile with a secret

I want to know what your giggle sounds like

Every iteration

I want to know what the curve of your hip looks like

A hairpin turn down your side

I want to know what you look like when you wake up in the morning

I want to know what you wanted to be when you grew up.

I want to know your wildest dreams

Your darkest desires.

What makes you tick

What gets you excited

What makes your breath hitch

You ever look in someone’s eyes and see forever?

It doesn’t happen often.

[raindripsonthewindow]

It’s like my soul sighed and said “There you are”

[raindripsonthewindow]

Scared to let someone really in

Because they always run

Too much too loud too anxious

Life feels overwhelming at times

It just spills over in my brain

Out of my mouth and pores

To be surrounded yet still feel

Utterly alone

I’m trying my best

But when people are happier when I’m not around

I’m treading water

[healingchildhoodtrauma]

Sometimes the days blend together

I’m in a haze but it’s not a bender

Feels like my brain’s been put in a blender

I hope there’s some way I can get better...

[raindripsonthewindow]

I need to stop viewing everything as an attack. I need to change my way of thinking. I need to figure out how to get myself back up when I’m feeling so low. I’m so stressed the past few weeks and I think I’m just having a more difficult time because of everything going on and not having green anymore. Just so scared about money and just everything and I’m not handling anything well. And I can’t bring you down. Not after last week. All you’ve been doing is trying to help me . Just wish I didn’t think this way and I could change this black and white thinking and when I try to I ALWAYS go back to it. Those who don’t learn from their past are doomed to repeat it. And I need to stop going down the merry go round.

[ninasdrafts]

“The people that are meant to stay in your life will see you change over the years and understand it for what it is: growth. You don’t have to explain your reasons, you don’t have to apologise - they will understand and hold your hand on the darker days without questioning what you’re doing or why you’re doing it.”

— one reminder a day #12 / n.j.

[raindripsonthewindow]

I fee so disconnected with everyone and everything in my life. I constantly feel like I’m struggling to keep my head above water.

Just need to look at my wrists ...let go and just breathe. This too will pass.

[raindripsonthewindow]

I gotta get this shit under control. I gotta breathe.

Or I’m gonna lose everything.

My own wife is scared to be in our home with me . I never thought that’d happen and it’s just so heartbreaking. I always wanted to be a safe space for you, and it’s the opposite.

I’m just careening through the week trying to keep my head above water and I have to breathe.

Overnights and everything going on I just feel so distant and I’m not helping that at all.

I need to change, I have to. For my sake and for both of ours.

[raindripsonthewindow]

What if’s and focusing on the evils that ‘might’ be tomorrow do nothing for us . Worrying is not gonna change tomorrow

[make--it--gayer]

[protempore11]

[raindripsonthewindow]

[prostheticknowledge]

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

[johnnystompanado-deactivated201]

the time is now

[susaine-mcswiney-deactivated201]

hell yeah

[defibrinationsyndrome]

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

[spiffymuffin]

[caterjunes]

it’s called the purple ramjet

[jolys]

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

[grillmasterxbbq]

shove a vase up your ass

[lord-kitschener]

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

[fan-troll]

i call it the matterhorn

[poultrymancy]

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

[darklightescape]

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

[teapotsahoy]

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

[furiousfran]

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

[ifitaintbaroque]

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

[rosegardenmassacre-deactivated2]

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

[prettyyinpunk]

Plate. 

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

[raindripsonthewindow]

I’m here for you through whatever you need. I know I mess up, or forget things but I’ll never stop trying.

It scary this move yes, but you and I can get through anything together. And even if we don’t go, we can get through that too.

I love you to the moon and back and forever and beyond.

No matter what happens, or comes our way.

[raindripsonthewindow]

Looking back on posts I made on Tumblr and retrospectively looking at them. Saw one that was a complete lie I was fooling myself. I guess at the time it was just too difficult to face what I already knew. I always said if I ever successfully made it away from family it would make a difference and it did.

[raindripsonthewindow]

I wanna dance with you

Around a bonfire

I wanna get sleeping bags

Stay up watch the sun rise

High over mountains

Way past the trees

Climb mountains with ease

Day by day

With you by my side

I like seeing the sun rise