Claire Keane
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ellievsbear
#extradirty
almost home
d e v o n
Love Begins
@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
occasionally subtle
Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
Monterey Bay Aquarium
YOU ARE THE REASON
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hello vonnie
gracie abrams
Stranger Things
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Italy
seen from Norway
seen from Algeria
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Finland
seen from Norway
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Venezuela
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
@rainydaymiscellaneous
By the way, I tried multiple times to write “I don’t like her” but it turns out I just constantly write Kaz Brekker as a chronic yearner. Which like… Canonically he kind of is but still.
Fair warning, throughout the Mining Expedition, he is a fucking YEARNER even when he doesn’t want to be bros.
For those interested, Into the Fire will be updated on Ao3 under the same name here. I found that it’s easier to deal with something so large for one specific character on Ao3 where I can keep it somewhat organized.
The Mining Expedition (Kaz x Female!reader) Two- Trapped
“Ohfuckohfuckohfucknononononono”
“Jesper Breathe”
“Oh Fuck— This is bad this is really bad!”
“Can anyone see?”
“Let the dust settle then we’ll find out”
“Who is standing on my foot”
“That would be me Kaz.” you said flatly.
“What happened to ‘Mister Brekker’?” He asked.
“That went out the window when someone decided to get us stuck, you absolute, fucking idiot.” You snapped. He opened his mouth but you smacked your headlamp until the light flickered.
The Mining Expedition (Kaz x female!reader)
One- The Job
Kaz Brekker was never one to back down from a challenge when money was involved. Especially because the Dregs needed this score. They needed to find some kind of lost artifact that was within an unspecified cave on the rocky cliffs of the Wandering isles. Kaz knew this wasn’t going to be a simple one day job then back on the boat for them. So he started pulling from contacts until eventually he found a farm.
so theoretically..?
Theoretically, if I got weirdly invested into the movie Journey to the Center of the Earth (I had an adventure movie night and watched that along with Indiana Jones) how interested would we be in having an adventure/romance of Kaz Brekker taking a job only to discover it's way more complex than he thought..?
I have to get the shit writing out before I go back to being better at this, I'm sorry y'all lol.
Do we like this
Bitch what? No.
Hell yeah dude do it.
Addressing the Elephant in the Room
Yeah so I fell off the face of the earth for a bit. I feel like I owe you guys a bit of an explanation so here it goes: I was burnt out because of the rise of AI in creative media. Basically, I didn't know how to deal with the fact that AI is just basically stealing from people. The idea of my work being used for that, it honestly pissed me off. Not that Tumblr does that but honestly I just didn't know how to write anymore. It was like my brain just gave up.
Lately however, I have been feeling that old spark again. I've tried to move a lot of my major works to AO3 (still can't believe we're out of Beta), mainly because I think my inactiveness has caused me to not pop up anymore.
I have no promises that what I write will come out in a timely manner, nor do I promise it'll be good. Writing for me isn't like riding a bike, if I haven't done it in a bit it takes time for my skill to readjust back. Thank you for your patience, no I'm not dead, just fatigued by this mortal shell I reside in being this anxious over AI.
Anyways, I apologize for my absence, adulthood is way stressful.
Until the End, My Love (Astarion x Reader)
Warning: this literally might be the saddest piece of fiction I’ve written and it includes death and grief.
The battle of Ketheric would change everyone’s life. You had given so much for this group of misfits. Loved them all deeply as a dysfunctional family. But Astarion.
Gods you loved that man to the stars and back. You knew the day before, what was going to happen. You sat on your favorite spot near the lake as Withers approached.
“Little Light” (Astarion x Fem reader)
Note: sorry for me being gone, I now have two jobs and I also kind of fell down the BG3 rabbit hole. So. Yeaaahhh. Don’t worry you guys, I am still writing for Into the Fire I just am trying to work on the other chapters so it’s actually complete and I don’t have to worry about it being incomplete.
But in the mean time if you have any astarion related requests feel free to send them bishes in.
It was a dark night when Tav came into camp. A night no one expected to remember but gods, it would forever be seared into Astarion’s mind. It was different from the average night of his work. You see, he brought back a girl. Not unusual for the hero after saving the grove but it was unusual this night.
Bloodshed seemed to naturally follow the ragtag group of chaotic heroes. It was something they all got used to after a while, typically resulting in them washing their armor in a river trying to get the crimson stains out and the metallic smell to leave.
Tav said he was going to a tavern, which no one batted an eye at. Hells, Karlach joined him so he’d have a drinking buddy. But now they had come back with an unconscious woman in Karlach’s arms.
She was bleeding, that alone alerted Astarion to her presence from the mouth watering smell. He could control the urges, he never let them go out of control since he escaped the clutches of Cazador. Around blood, though, Astarion would become aware of his teeth. Like his senses would overwhelm him. Typically this would result in his little looks to Tav to quietly let him go off and find a willing victim, which he’d give a nod to so he could subtly slip away.
This night was different. Tav seemed more panicked than usual. He was asking Karlach to be careful. He kept trying to keep the girl’s eyes open. Karlach kept shooting Astarion a panicked “help” look. He walked over confused as Karlach laid her down.
And there was you. A girl who had been stabbed that he had never seen before. But why did Tav care? There was a difference between him worrying for random strangers versus this girl. There was a clear familiarity between the two but considering the tense situation, Astarion wasn’t asking right now.
So uh... i did not expect into the fire to blow up.
So... ahem.
If you'd like to be on a taglist for it, comment below on this post.
Into the fire- Chapter one (Kaz x fem!reader)
"I win again."
"Son of a bitch."
"I want another go around."
"Jesper, if you go again, you'll be leaving in your birthday suit, and that is an image we can all live without."
Into the Fire (Kaz x fem!reader)
Summary: after time in Hellgate, your sister makes a bargain to break you out.
Warnings: A lot of violence, discussions of sickness and serious injury, mentions of suicide and murder
It had all happened so fast. You were blamed for a murder, a murder you didn't even commit, you were the one that happened across that damn body. No doubt the works of Pekka Rollins after you declined the invitation to the Dime Lions. You were a valuable asset, there was no doubt. You were extremely intelligent, knew your way around locks and could charm the most stubborn men. Pekka needed to one up that son of a bitch that was trying to take that title of "King of the Barrel" from him.
Your sister, Dahlia immediately tried forming a plan when she heard from a friend about someone who might take a deal to help her. So she saved up, working beside Nina.
"Good luck trying to convince that good for nothing bastard" she'd tell her. Still, Dahlia had heard enough to know that this Brekker man was simple if you had enough Kruge. Finally she filled up five jars of it, walking into the Slat with hesitance.
"Who's that?" Jesper asked Inej who was sitting next to him.
"No idea." She said confused, watching the girl look around. She turned to the two who were staring.
"Where can one find a mister Brekker?" She asked. Jesper almost let out a laugh. Very rarely had he heard a "Mister" be put in front of Kaz's name.
"Uhm.. I'll uh.. find him." Jesper said getting up. Inej looked at the girl. She was pretty. Too pretty to be standing in a place like this without purpose.
"Kaz. There's uh..." Jesper let out a small laugh. "There's a girl wanting to speak with you out there." Jesper said. Kaz looked up from his desk, holding papers with his gloved hands.
"She say why?" He asked, looking back down.
"No but I'll tell you, she looks out of place." He said. Kaz sighed.
"Ask what she wants. If she's a whore, send her out."
"And if it's something else?"
"Send her here, I suppose."
Jesper walked out, the girl looking up. "Is he here?" She asked.
"What's your business?" He asked.
"I... I need help." She said.
"Are you wanting to join?" Inej asked.
"Join? Join what?" She asked confused. This girl had to be a serious fish out of water.
"You're definitely not from here, are you?" Jesper asked.
"No, look can he see or not?" She huffed.
"If you're from the Menagerie, he's not interested." Jesper said.
"I'm not from the fucking Menagerie!" She said, clearly annoyed.
"Okay... well. Let me see-" "Is that his office?" She asked. "Well-"
She shoved past Jesper, Inej standing up shocked as she walked into Kaz's office. "I need help." She said. Inej ran in.
"Seriously!? What is your problem!?" Inej asked, grabbing her arm.
"Let me go!" She yelled.
"You can't just barge in-"
"I HAVE MONEY!" she yelled.
Kaz looked up finally at the chaos. "Let her go." Kaz said. Inej looked at him with uncertainty but let go after his stern gaze. He motioned to a seat in front of his desk. "Sit." He said. Dahlia sat down, glaring at Inej as she left. Jesper pointed at the door, silently asking if Kaz wanted it closed. He nodded, Jesper closing the door as he went to calm down a pissed off Inej.
"What's this I hear about you needing help?" He asked.
"My sister got framed for murder. She's in that god damn prison, she's been there for almost a year." She said. Kaz rose a brow.
"She's in Hellgate?" He asked.
"Yes." She said. "Have a good day, close the door on your way out." Kaz said, Dahlia frowning.
"Now hold on-"
"Grab a drink if you'd like. Just go." He said. She slammed a jar of money on his desk. He looked up.
"I've got five more of these." She said. He leaned back in his chair.
"How do you know she was framed?" He asked.
"She's not exactly the person to kill a man. Steal his wallet, sure. Murder isn't something she'd be able to do." She said. Kaz sighed.
"Who framed her?" He asked.
"Some gang leader. Uhm... Pekka something." She said. Kaz's blood ran cold.
"What?" He asked.
"She got noticed by him. He made her an offer, she said no and one day on her route back home, she found a body and he had her arrested." She explained. Kaz frowned, staring at the jar of money.
"Five more of these?" He asked.
"Yes." She said. He sighed.
"Fine. But you aren't going with us. You'll wait the Crow Club, do I make myself clear?" He asked. She nodded.
"Thank you." She said relieved.
"Don't thank me yet, I haven't freed your sister yet."
Hellooo! Saw that your requests for kazzle dazzle are open and I love how you write him <3 Could I please request something with a reader who's on their period? Thank you!!
Trigger warnings: mentions of blood. Obviously.
Helping
(Kaz Brekker x reader)
No one knew why it was always worse for you. You always had more to deal with compared to the other women in the group and it made you feel... almost inferior. If this was normal, if it was like this for them, why was it so hard for you to deal with?
You were sitting in your bathroom with all of the lights turned off. Migraines, painful, brutal migraines plagued you every month around this time. You were propped against your toilet, struggling to even move off the bathroom floor. Everyone had left for a mission so it was just you. Well. You and Kaz. But you knew how he was and you weren't about to ask him for help.
You heard a knock. "What?" You asked, sounding disoriented from the pain.
"Are you alright?" Kaz asked.
"No." You muttered. Kaz didn't like being around this time of the month. It wasn't your situation, by any means. Inej and Nina had periods, he wasn't ignorant to the situation by any means. It was the fact that it was you in pain.
He recalled a time where you took a literal bullet for him. He remembered feeling absolutely awful when he saw how close to death you were. You were sweating so bad, struggling to breathe without wanting to cry from the pain. He couldn't stand to see you of all people like that again.
But this was something he'd push aside. He had to, it was just you and him at the moment.
"May I enter?" He asked.
"Just keep the lights off." You said. He opened the door, seeing you leaned against the toilet. He lowered himself to the ground, sitting with you.
"Do you need anything?" He asked.
"Yes. For my uterus to GO. AWAY." You said.
"...I don't believe I can help with that." He said. You whined, leaning over the toilet.
Kaz noticed the strands of hair lingering by your face as you dry heaved. With hesitation, he pulled back your hair, holding it. "Thank you" you whined before throwing up. He rubbed your back to soothe you as you leaned back. "It hurts" you whined. He reached upwards, grabbing a washcloth by the sink and using the sink to make it damp.
You leaned against the wall, just trying to relax when you felt something damp near your lips. You opened your eyes to see Kaz wiping your mouth for you. "I'm sorry you had to take care of me." You muttered.
"You'd take care of me if I were like this." He said.
"Yes, but it doesn't stop it from being gross." You muttered.
"This is the Barrel. You turn down a street and you will literally see at least three people vomiting." He shrugged. You let out a tired chuckle before you winced again.
"I need... I need to be warm." You said.
"What do you want me to do?" He asked. You looked at him.
"I need..." You sighed. "This is awkward." You whined.
"Why would it be awkward?" Kaz asked.
"I... I need help into the bath." You said. Oh. Oh that's why it's awkward. He shifted, putting the soiled washcloth on the counter. He looked at your state and sighed.
"Lean up and raise your arms." He said. You did, confused as Kaz carefully removed your shirt. He unhooked your bra, looking upwards to at least try to keep your modesty. You shoved off your pants as he pulled you up, taking you to the tub. He carefully turned on the water, you looking at him. "Why are you being so nice to me?" You asked.
"Because you're in pain." He said.
You were confused by that statement. "I don't like seeing one of my crows in pain. Much less you." He said.
"Am I special in some way?" You asked. "Do you see me with anyone else right now?" He asked sarcastically. You still seemed confused. "You took a bullet for me. I owe you my life. So when you need me, I am here." He said. You smiled slightly, you seemed a bit more tired from battling the pains you were experiencing.
Kaz leaned back against a cabinet. "Kaz?" "Mm?"
"Thank you." You muttered.
He smiled slightly.
"Any time"
can you please write a kaz x reader where they have an established relationship and they’re slowly working on his touch and slowly he’s getting more comfortable with it but then they go on a mission and something happens that the reader can’t stand touch. and maybe he has to lead both of them down the road to recovery
Trust (Kaz x reader)
Trigger warnings: violence, wounds, implications of SA, murder and talks of past trauma.
"It's alright." You assured Kaz. He swallowed hard, holding his hands out. "Here." You said, hovering your hands over his. He inhaled sharply. He trusted you, there was no doubt. He loved you so much but touching was still a difficult thing. You knew it wouldn't be fixed overnight, you were patient and did small exercises to help him.
"I'm ready." He said. You nodded, holding his hands. He inhaled sharply once again, closing his eyes.
"Here. Here's something that might help." You said removing your hands from his. You showed him your wrist, guiding his hand to your nerves. "Feel that? That pulsing?" You asked. Kaz gave a small nod. "That's my pulse. Just feel it for a second, okay?" You said softly. He nodded, looking in your eyes. Your gentle sweet eyes.
"You know I love you, right." He asked.
"I know Kaz. It's okay."
He gently lifted your hand, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. You loved this man more than life itself. He was your reason for breathing most days, he made you laugh, smile and most importantly, he made you feel safe.
Kaz shuddered after a moment. "Do you wish to stop my love?" You asked. He nodded.
"Please." He said softly. You handed him his gloves and he put them back on with a sigh. "I wish it wasn't this hard." He muttered.
"It's alright Kaz." You said softly.
"It's not fair to you." He said.
"I don't care if you touch me. I care if you're alright with touching me." You said to him. He nodded mindlessly. "I love you." You said to him. He looked at you with adoration.
"I love you too." He said. You looked at the clock and sighed.
"I have to go." You said.
"Do you need me to walk you back?" He asked.
"No, I should be fine." You said, grabbing your daggers off of a nearby table. You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, him giving a small smile as you left.
It was raining, which wasn't unusual for the dark damp streets of Ketterdam. You had gotten used to it now, usually wearing a hood when you walked outside because of it. It was cold of course, you could see your breath as you walked, the light splelching of your boots against the wet cobblestone echoing against the stone buildings.
You heard a noise though, your hand instinctively flying to your daggers. "What's your business?" You asked. No one responded. "I've already heard your sorry excuse for sneaking, what is your fucking business?" You asked again, this time more aggressive. Hopefully your tone would deter anyone from jumping you.
You knew how dangerous these streets could be. You turned back, planning on asking Kaz to escort you home afterall when a pair of hands flew over your nose and mouth with a cloth. Your vision became hazy, and your legs gave out.
When you woke up, you were in a wooden chair, your hair was damp and you were tied with your hands behind your back. "This is Dirty Hands' girl aye?" A man asked. He gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him. "She's much too pretty for that bastard." He said. You spat at him, him slapping you in response. "Don't you go thinkin' you've got control of this situation. We could kill you." He threatened.
"You're not going to kill me." You said, your voice slightly raspy from having just woken up.
"What makes you so sure of that?" A man who was leaning against the wall asked.
"You need me to get to Dirty Hands. Without me you've got nothing." You said.
The man who had slapped you chuckled. "She's sharp." He said.
"I suspect you're as dull as a fucking butter knife." You said.
He frowned. "We might not can kill you-" he put his blade from his holster over a nearby flame, waiting until it was hot. He pressed it to your arm, you yelping in response. "But that don't mean we can't torture you."
And that they did. For what felt like days were actually just hours. You had been forced through hours of pure torture, both physically and psychologically. You only had access to one bit of daylight over you that told you that it had been the same day the entire time you went through hell.
There you were, back in that chair, your lip now busted, bruises now trailed all over your body. Death would have been kinder than this. "Maybe he's not coming." A man suggested.
Your head hung down, blood dripping from your mouth. "He'll come." The man insisted. You heard a thud behind you, you glancing over to see the guard that was once by a door dead. You didn't hear footsteps though and that told you everything you needed know. Kaz had sent Inej for your rescue.
"Frank, bring me the iron again." He said.
There was no response.
"Frank. Get off your ass."
Again, no response, someone behind him being killed. There was a gasp before a loud snap, alerting the man to someone else being there. Then you heard it.
The familiar tap of a cane.
"Tell me." Kaz's voice asked from the shadows. "What made you think you could hurt my dear Y/n" Inej pressed her blade to the man's neck, forcing him to his knees. "And you'd just... get away with it?" He asked, Inej looking at Kaz for further instruction.
"We needed-needed to send a message!" He insisted.
"Oh? What message was that?" Kaz asked, looking at him as he stepped into the light.
"That we could get to her just as eas-easy as you got us." He said. Inej scowled.
"Here's the difference." Kaz said, looking at him. "We didn't make your men suffer." Kaz said. He pointed at you with his cane. "And we certainly didn't go for your heart. He put his cane back to the ground. "The message you sent was your undoing. Ours was simple. Stay away from my crows. It seems you didn't learn. Now? Now you will. Inej." Kaz said. Inej without hesitation slit his throat, grimacing at the sight. Before Kaz threw down his cane.
"Are you okay?" He asked as he began untying you.
"I knew you'd come." You said, slightly relieved. He looked up.
"I'd fight an entire army to get you back." He said. Your wrists were finally free you struggling to stand up.
Inej reached out to help but that'd when you jolted back, fear in your eyes as you pulled your arm away with a "Don't touch me!"
Kaz looked at her and then you. You trusted Inej. You loved Inej. This reaction, it didn't feel normal. That's when Kaz noticed your state. They hurt you. Not just physically. He took off his coat, handing it to you.
You took it hesitantly, putting it around yourself as you were escorted home. Kaz made sure his best were always protecting you. Always. Someone walked you to work, someone walked you home. Always.
You had walked into Kaz's office, sitting on his couch as he finished paperwork. "How was your day?" He asked.
"I keep having nightmares." You muttered.
Kaz looked up, giving you a sympathetic look. "I should've walked you home that night." He said.
"I told you not to." You shrugged.
"Yes but I should've insisted." He said.
"It was my choice Kaz. You did nothing wrong." You muttered.
Kaz sighed. This wasn't fair. You had been attacked for things he did. You were innocent in all of this yet you had gone through hell anyway. Now he couldn't touch you. Not because he didn't want to be touched but you didn't.
Anytime someone had unintentionally made contact, you'd jump. One unfortunate touch from Jesper ended with your blade to his neck, having to be calmed down to realize what you had done. You began isolating yourself, backing away from nearly any interaction. There was one person you'd talk to though. And that was Kaz.
He looked at you sympathetically. "How are your wounds?" He asked. "Do they hurt?"
"All the time. Especially when I think about how I got them..." you mumbled.
He looked at the bandages on your arms. "Perhaps I can help you change them." He suggested.
You looked at him. "But..." you pulled back into the couch. "What if I hurt you?" You whispered. It was clear the incident with Jesper was still fresh on your mind.
"I'll bare through it." He said softly. You hesitantly moved forward, holding out your arms. Kaz removed his gloves, pulling bandages from a drawing and moved his chair so he was directly in front of you. He hated seeing the wounds they inflicted.
He took your hand, you flinching, balling your hand into a fist before releasing. You drew a shaking breath, closing your eyes. "You're safe my love." He said softly. You nodded, letting out a breath.
"Thank you." You said softly. He began wrapping the wounds, you wincing as the cloth brushed against your skin.
"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at that pained expression.
"It's fine. Just feels like a bad scrape is all." You said. Kaz lifted your arm, you looking at him confused as he pressed a kiss to your cut. You smiled at him, a little light coming back to your eyes.
They had been so dark and tired since you got back. Seeing that light made Kaz realize that yes, the journey was going to be long and probably painful for the both of you. But you both could do it.
And you could do this together.
I hate to ask again but I had and idea. Also the last one was so cute thank you. If you can can you please write a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader is in love with this book but no one has read is so they have no one to talk to about it so Kaz reads it and starts a conversation about it with the reader and they get really happy and start ranting about it to him and he’s just happy to sit and listen to them and make comments from time to time
Dude, send me all the requests for our boy Kazzle Dazzle your ideas are so creative!
Book Club (Kaz x reader)
He needed an opening. Just one solid reason to actually talk to you. You had been in the Dregs for years now and Kaz was still struggling to even breathe around you. He had this crush on you that he refused to admit was there. Inej saw it, even dumbass Jesper saw it.
You'd assume that Kaz was mute if it hadn't been for your presence in the Dregs. You had been there for a long time but disappeared on a mission far off for three years. The room above Kaz had been vacant and then suddenly it had life. Kaz had no idea anyone even lived above him until you knocked on his door your first night back and asked him to join you for tea.
There you sat on a nice couch with a cup of chamomile. Kaz was perplexed by who you were and why the fuck you wanted to drink glorified leaves in water.
Can you please write a Kaz Brekker x reader fanfic where the reader mentions something they love or like to Jesper when they are talking and Kaz overhears and then starts buying her it like everday and like leaves it on the readers nightstand, but the reader doesn’t know who’s been leaving it until like someone else finds out and tells the reader? Please.
THIS IS SO CUTE
Caffeine
(Kaz x reader)
"Coffee? You drink coffee everyday?" Jesper asked. "Well something's got to keep me going." You said with a shrug. Kaz who was seated across from you at another table had a newspaper up, drinking his usual tea as he looked for a lead on a job. What you didn't realize was that Kaz had heard you.
He loved you so much but hadn't said anything. After all, who would return the sentiment to a man who was repulsed by being touched. He showed it in small gestures. Always giving you a free meal at the club, ensuring your safety on the streets, giving you your own room at the Slat, paying for your weapon repairs when you needed them. Inej and Jesper knew the real reason. They both knew Kaz loved you but wouldn't admit it. "She's an investment, nothing more." He told them. Investment. Right. That's all you were to him.
Kaz got up from his seat, you looking over. "Going back to the Slat?" You asked. He gave a silent nod. "I'll go with you, I'm pretty tired." You said getting up. "Probably a caffeine crash." Jesper said. "Oh shove off you." You said with an eyeroll. Kaz walked the lit streets of Ketterdam with you next to him.
There was a part of him that wanted so badly to know what it'd be like to actually love you. "Stop" he'd tell himself. "That is vulnerability. That is a weakness."
"Something on your mind Kaz?" You asked. "Mm? No. Nothing, why?" He asked. "You're just quietly staring at me pretty hard there. So." You said with a shrug, putting your arms around yourself to keep from getting cold. "You're cold." He realized. "Well sort of. It's not that big of a-" Kaz took his coat off, handing it to you. "Deal..." you finished, looking at the man with slight surprise. "Thank you." You said, taking the coat.
You could never get a full read on Kaz. Sometimes you thought he was a decent man, someone who'd never turn his back on you. Other times you agreed with Nina's mindset of him being slappable. It didn't help that he was gorgeous. Sometimes you had this urge to just run your fingers through his hair. You knew he hated touch though so you kept your hands to yourself.
His coat was too big for you of course, going slightly over your hands. "I have a new weapon." You declared, waving the loose sleeve at him. His heart exploded in his chest, him quickly looking away to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. "I didn't think your arms were this long. Hmm." You said, stretching out your arms to see the size difference of the sleeves. He found you to be so adorable. It was frustrating. Is this how everyone saw Wylan?
When you reached the Slat, you gave him back his jacket. "Thanks for keeping me warm." You told him. He just nodded in response and you went to bed.
The next morning you woke up to a warm aroma. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw a coffee on your nightstand. You leaned up confused. Did you buy coffee last night and not remember? No, that wasn't possible. It was warm, it'd be cold if it was from last night.
You drank it, tasting a faint hazelnut. It was a pleasant feeling, waking you up enough to go downstairs where Jesper was sitting with Inej. "Thanks for the coffee." You said sitting next to Jesper. He rose a brow. "I didn't get you coffee." He said. You blinked. "Inej?" You asked. "No." She said. "Wylan?" You asked the boy coming downstairs. "What?" He asked. "Did you give me coffee?" You asked. "No? I'm not big on coffee." He shrugged. "Who the hell made me coffee?" You asked as Kaz walked past them. "Kaz, did you make me coffee?" You asked. "Yeah, right. Kaz make you coffee. Mark that up there with the saints themselves paying us a visit." Jesper said. Kaz ignored the group, walking out the door. Inej looked at you and then the door. She knew.
She had her sneaking suspicions about his intentions towards you for a while, but it seemed the coffee was the final nail in the coffin. Kaz was in love with you, he just wasn't saying anything. Knowing how stubborn the ass could be, there was a chance he'd never say anything.
The following mornings were the same. You'd wake up to coffee on your nightstand. It was a nice ritual but you were confused on who was leaving it for you. So you decided to sleep light. It was around eight when your door opened, you pretending to still sleep. You heard the person set down the cup and you looked over to see the last person you'd expect. "Kaz?" You asked making him jump.
"You're the one leaving me coffee?" You asked. "Uh... No?" He lied. He was the worst liar when it came to you. You leaned up looking at him. "Yes. I am." He said. "But... why?" You asked. "It makes you happy." He muttered. Your heart melted at those words. Something so trivial to you yet it clearly was a bigger deal to him. Your happiness was something he'd actively go out of his way for. And that made you want to kiss him.
"Kaz that's so-" "Ridiculous, I know-" "Sweet. I was going to say sweet." You corrected. He put a hand on the back of his neck, looking away nervously. "Have you always done things like this?" You asked. "No." He lied again. You looked at him with a squint, implying you knew more. "Yes. Yes I have." He sighed. "Kaz, why haven't you said anything?" You asked. "Because why would you care?" He asked. "Well if someone is doing things for them I should thank them. It's just polite." You said sarcastically. He sighed. "Kaz..." you said getting up.
He moved back. "Kaz, I care about you. I just... I need to know that-" "Why?" He asked. "What?" "I am a rude, selfish man who is known literally as the 'Bastard of the Barrel'. So why do you care about me?" He asked. Your gaze softened. "You keep me safe" You said moving closer. Kaz moved back again. "You make sure that I'm not starving" you stepped closer and Kaz gripped the dresser behind him. "You made me coffee every morning because you knew I liked it" you said looking in his eyes.
"Kaz, you keep me alive. You make sure I have what I need. I went from being alone to having a home. You have... you have become my home." You said softly. Kaz looked in your eyes. "If you'll let me... I will be yours." If he let himself fall for you, it'd be a great risk. You were a weakness. You were his weakness. He was shaking from how close you were to him. He hated touch and yet somehow you made him want to touch you.
You backed up. "Just think about it. Okay?" You said. He swallowed hard as you approached your bedroom door.
His hand clasped around your wrist, catching you off guard. You had never touched him before, you knew he hated to be touched. Not only was he touching you, he was touching you with his bare hands. You turned to face him, staring at him.
Why wasn't he feeling that nausea that always came with touching someone? He hated touch so much, he hated that feeling and yet... He didn't feel nauseous. He didn't feel upset or anxious. He looked in your eyes, you not daring to utter a word while in his grasp. He couldn't stop staring into your eyes. He saw so much in them. He saw stars in them, he saw a fire thar burned bright... he saw a bit of himself in them.
His other hand found its way to your cheek, you instinctively leaning into his touch. Oh how he nearly fell apart at that. He had debated for months on simply telling you that he had feelings for you. He technically hadn't said anything but his actions, especially at this moment were screaming his intentions. You couldn't resist that. Like gold being waved in front of a thief you wanted nothing more than for Kaz to just kiss you. You wanted to know the thoughts in his mind.
He didn't kiss you. Not right away at least. He rested his forehead on yours, the hand on your wrist sliding into your hand. You looked at him as he closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "I have spent most of my life just... surviving. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely a human. But... there is something that reminds me that I am alive." He said softly. You wanted to ask but you couldn't form words when Kaz was this close to you. "You make me feel more human than anything else... And I am grateful for that." He said softly. You smiled slightly, holding his hand on your cheek. "I love you Kaz Brekker. Heart and soul. Body and mind." You said to him.
He smiled. He actually smiled. Something that very rarely came from him appeared in front of you. And you caused such a beautiful thing to occur. He kissed you, finally breaking a dam that had been nearly bursting for almost a year now. You smiled against his lips, looking in his eyes. "What?" Kaz asked quietly.
"I love seeing you happy." You said softly. He kissed you again with that same sweet smile. "I love you Y/n." He said softly. "And I love you Kaz." You said softly. He loved seeing those eyes looking at him. Your gaze was something that made him feel powerful and he had it now.
"If I known you'd be this grateful for coffee, I would've bought you a damn coffeehouse." He said making you laugh.
Any kaz brekker requests?
Can we get that pt2 to gorgeous?????
I gotchu
Pt:2 Pretty (Kaz x fem!reader)
Summary: Kaz comes back concussed and says some interesting things in your care.
Trigger warnings: talks about slavery, violence, implied SA, injuries, a concussion
Fire graced the papers on the sidewalk as the deafening taps of Kaz's cane moved down the cobblestone path. He stopped in front of a man who was badly injured.
Kaz had hunted every individual that helped with your capture. This was the second to last name on the list. Each bullet had a name carved on it, a ritual that you taught him. "When you put their name on a bullet, it makes it so the last thing they feel is the damage their name caused" you said to him.
"You know, it's crazy" he said, using his foot to roll the injured man onto his back. The man yelped. "That you thought you could hurt one of my men and get away with it." Kaz said, looking at the man like dirt that had gotten on his shoe. "We were just doin' what we were paid to do!" The man groaned out. Kaz let out a humorless chuckle. "Is that so? So repeatedly torturing my crow was a part of the plan, hm?" He asked. "We were just--" Kaz kneeled to look in the man's eyes. "No excuse will save your pathetic life." Kaz snarled. He cocked the pistol in his hand, the man whimpering in fear. "You will never hurt anyone else again."
A loud shot rang out through the streets, you leaning up from your bed. Lev lifted his head, looking at you. You couldn't help but think that that somehow had to do with Kaz. You decided it was better to check, getting out of bed and sliding on a coat and boots, arming yourself before walking out. You'd have to be a fool to walk the streets of the Barrel unarmed, especially at night.
You walked to Kaz's home, knocking on the door. Kaz opened it, you looking at him. "You answered quickly." You said. "I was in the study." He shrugged. "In your coat?" You asked, walking in. He sighed, closing the door. "That gunshot I just heard, was that you?" You asked. "Yes" he said. "Why did you shoot someone?" You asked. "Territory issues." He shrugged. "If it was a territory issue, Inej, Jesper or me wouldn've gone with you." You said with a sigh.
"It was a simple done deal. There's nothing to worry about, the man is dead, the message has been sent." Kaz said, sitting down. You sighed. "Did you come here to pester me?" He asked. "I came to make sure you were fine." You said, sitting across from him. Kaz sighed. "I'm alright Y/n. Even better after I put a bullet in a man's head." He said. You heard a siren and you sighed. "Was that all you did?" You asked. Kaz looked at the floor vacantly. "He shouldn't have been playing with fire."
You leaned back, Kaz looking at you. He noticed dark bags under your eyes. "Are you sleeping well?" He asked. "That obvious?" You asked. "You have darker bags than mine." He said making you chuckle. "Lev helps... It's just.. hard. Sleeping in that house." You muttered. Kaz looked at you concerned. "You know that you can stay here." He said. "I don't want to put you out." You said. "You wouldn't be." He assured. You seemed to be afraid of the idea.
"If you don't feel comfortable doing that then it's alright." Kaz assured. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "It's not that it's... I've started screamed when I wake up." You said. Kaz rose a brow. "You have night terrors?" He asked. "I've always had them... It's the downfall of being indentured. They've just have gotten worse since... everything." You muttered.
Kaz had never heard you actually talk about your past as a slave. Kaz had pulled you out of that shitty life and because of that, you were grateful. You went to great lengths for him, basically becoming his right hand man. You trusted him. You'd follow him into hell if he asked.
"I don't mind dealing with that." He said softly. Your gaze softened, and you sighed. "Where are your blankets?" You asked. "Why?" He asked. "I need one to sleep." You said confused. "The bed has one." Kaz said. "I'm not sleeping in your bed Kaz, then I'd actually put you out." You huffed. "We can share it, genius. I don't mind unless you do." He said. "No I don't mind but--" "Perfect, come." He said walking. You sighed. For someone who was known to be a greedy bastard, he was shockingly generous.
You followed him, seeing the home he assembled. It was dark, lot of darker colors like crimson and brown wood paneling aligned the wall. You walked into his room, Kaz just casually removing his shirt as he walked in. Typical responses would've involved you looking away but he had done this plenty of times that you didn't bat an eye. He'd often call you in while he washed himself off, telling you plans as he did so.
You'd play the part of pretending that it was just normal procedure but your heart always did backflips as you saw him. You took off your jacket, putting it on a chair and setting your boots on the floor. Kaz looked over his shoulder as he changed. You noticed something on a table in the room, walking over to it, Kaz heard your footsteps but said nothing.
The paper was a list. Names had been crossed off, all them being people amongst the Dime Lions. It felt like you had the air leave your lungs from shock. "You killed them?" You asked. Kaz's movement ceased. He slowly looked at you holding the list. "I didn't want them going after you again." Kaz said.
You looked at him concerned. "You could've gotten killed Kaz!" You said, looking at him. "I wanted you to feel safe." He said calmly. "Kaz- you fucked with a rival gang-- What if they kill you!?" You asked panicked. "I am fine" He assured. "But what if-" "I am fine." He said, looking at you.
He was closer now, you could feel his breath. "They can't hurt anyone again. That is what matters." He said softly. "But what if you had gotten hurt?" You asked. "I didn't get hurt." He said. "Kaz-" He put a hand on your cheek, your hand holding the list dropping. You looked in Kaz's eyes.
He was so gentle with you, it didn't make any sense. Nothing made sense anymore. Not since you were bought out of slavery with Inej. You could remember when you walked out the pleasure house for the first time after your freedom.
Granted Ketterdam always had that cloudy smog hanging over the city, it felt like you had stepped out into the light for the first time. Kaz saw the relief on your face. It looked as if you had the weight of the world suddenly lifted from your shoulders.
There was a crack of thunder that made you both realize the closeness. You backed up, clearing your throat. "Thank you... For... This." you said holding up the list. "They deserved it." Kaz said, returning back to his typical demeanor. You nodded mindlessly.
You set the list back down and sat on the bed, looking around. You had probably stood in this room dozens of times but not once had you actually examined it. "You really like the dark, don't you?" you asked. "Hides the monsters you can see in the light." he said laying down. Such an odd statement but one that made sense to you.
Children often slept with lights on to keep the monsters in the dark at bay, yet as you got older you got used to your demons being there. You just didn't want to see them anymore. Kaz sat on the other side, climbing into bed. You seemed to hesitate but eventually laid down.
Hours passed with you staring at the ceiling. Kaz, unbeknownst to you had also been awake, staring at the wall. Sharing a bed was a bigger challenge to him. It was especially harder because he actually cared about you.
He had been listening to your breathing the entire time, not one moment had passed where he lost track of your breaths. You rolled over, looking at Kaz's back. You could tell he wasn't asleep then, noticing the shallow breaths of an awake man. "Can't sleep either?" you asked quietly. Kaz rolled over to face you.
"It appears insomnia has caught the best of me." He lied. You chuckled, looking at the ceiling. "It's hard to share a bed for me too," You admitted. "I uhm... I usually was forced to share. So..." your voice trailed off. "I can move-" "No! no I didn't mean it like that. I just.." You sighed. "I'm not used to being in a bed with someone I don't hate." you said.
Kaz put his hand over yours. "I hope you don't hate me." He said softly. You gave the sweetest smile that melted Kaz's heart. "I could never hate you." You said. "If only you knew" he thought to himself. "The blood on my hands, the horrible things I've done would make you hate me"
You held his hand, looking at him. You could see Kaz's mind wandering, something you had seen occasionally. Despite the many beliefs that people had over him, Kaz was human just like anyone else. He had fears, he had insecurities. Yes, he was a cocky asshole at times but he was like that to survive. You knew inside Kaz had to be scared. Because truth be told, you were too.
You fell asleep just like that. Your hand in his. When you woke up, you heard frantic knocking. Kaz, who clearly wasn't a morning person grumbled as he got dressed and went downstairs. You tiptoed down the stairs to hear the conversation.
"What Jesper?" He asked with a flat tone. "It's Y/n, she's missing!" He said frantically. You cracked a small grin. "She-" "I went to her house to check on her because we all heard the sirens last night and she wasn't there! Kaz do you think she's okay!?" Jesper asked. "She's-" "I fed Lev, Inej is out looking-" "Jesper, she is here." Kaz said.
Jesper blinked. "What do you mean she's here?" Jesper asked. "She slept over last night." Kaz sighed. Jesper peaked behind Kaz to see the couches and saw nothing. "It doesn't look like anyone slept here." Jesper said. "She's upstairs, she's fine." Kaz sighed.
Jesper let out a sigh. "Is this your way of saying you two are finally together?" Jesper asked. Kaz said nothing, just simply closed the door in his face. Rather than knock, Jesper did that annoying thing that always worked to get Kaz to open a door. He took his index finger and repeatedly tapped loudly.
"tap tap tap"
Kaz walked towards the stairs and you slowly rose.
"tap tap tap"
Kaz stopped, sighing loudly as he marched back to the door. He opened it and Jesper had what could only be described as a "shit eating grin" on his face.
"I will take your revolvers and shoot you with them." Kaz spat. "So you two are together then? Finally! It's about time one of you said something! Inej owes me five kruge." Jesper said proudly. "We are not together Jesper, and if you wish to remain alive, you will leave." Kaz said. Then it hit him. "Wait you two have a bet going over this!?" "You know it is incredibly early, I should go. Bye boss!" Jesper said running off.
"He knows how to leave people annoyed." You said, Kaz sighing. He ran a hand over his face before looking at you." Would you like breakfast?" He asked, closing the door. You rose a brow. "Sure. Where are we going?" you asked. "I have eggs I need to use." he said, walking into his kitchen.
He looked up to see you gaping. "What?" He asked. "You're going to cook?" You asked. "Why is this a shock?" He asked, grabbing a pan. "I don't know- I just assumed you couldn't cook- I mean I can't, which in hindsight is stupid but--" "Wait." Kaz held up his hand to stop you. "You can't cook?" He asked. "No. I have a tendency to burn... Everything." You admitted. "Well, I will teach you to not do that." He said, motioning for you to stand by him. You didn't move. "What?" He asked. "Are you sure you? You seem to like your home-"
He walked over, pushing you over to the kitchen table and stood next to you. You watched him carefully as he cracked an egg. He handed you one. "You try." he said.
You hesitated but tried, some of the shell falling in. "Damn." you sighed. "Here, let me show you." He said taking another egg. He used the edge of the table to crack the egg, using his thumbs to pry it open carefully. He handed you another egg. "We're going to waste a lot of eggs." you said. "It was this or throw them at Jesper while he's not looking. Kaz teased. You chuckled. "And here I thought you liked Jesper." You said.
"Oh I do. I consider him a friend. When, y'know he's not constantly pestering me about my love life." Kaz said. You cracked the egg just as Kaz did. "See, I knew you'd get it." He said. You smiled at him as he grabbed a small jug of milk. "Milk?" you asked confused. "Makes them fluffier." he said. You grinned. "You cook often, don't you?" You asked. "Sometimes." He shrugged.
You watched him add salt and pepper mixing the eggs in a bowl. He walked to his stove, motioning for you to stand in front of it. "Kaz, are you sure you want me near fire--" "I will be right here." He said. You sighed and walked over. "Now, we're making them scrambled." He said handing you a spatula. "I will burn your house down." you warned. "Y/n." "Fine! You've been warned. Goodbye kitchen, you were pretty to look at!" you said, taking the spatula dramatically.
Kaz smiled as you watched the eggs. "What am I supposed to be doing?" You asked. "You see how it's raised right there?" he asked, pointing at an egg with a fork. "Yeah?" You asked. "The goal is for all of them to look like that." he said. "Well, I get the goal but how to do I accomplish the goal?" you asked, not removing your eyes from the pan. He chuckled, watching you stare at the pan.
"You could ease up-" "If I do I start a fire." You said. He chuckled again but picked up your hand gently. Your heart started pounding as he guided you through the process. Not a word he was saying went to you, the only thing you could hear was his breath on your ear. What you didn't realize was the angle that he was holding your hand allowed him access to feel your pulse. He rose a brow, noticing the red on your ears that typically came from you being flustered.
He said nothing though, continuing to speak. You finally tuned back in as he flipped off the stove. "And you just made eggs." He said. "I did?" You asked. He grinned at your confusion, pointing to the pan. "Holy crap I did! And your house is intact!" You said relieved. "Who was the last person to taught you how to cook?" He asked with a small chuckle. "Jesper." "That explains so much."
The two of you ate, you looking out the window. It was clear something was on your mind. "Is something wrong?" Kaz asked. "Were you finishing that list last night?" You asked. He put down his fork, looking at you. Kaz had a talent for avoiding the truth. With you though, it was almost impossible. "Yes." He admitted. You looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Did you finish it?" You asked. "Almost." He nodded.
There was a silence that seemed excruciating to him. He knew you hated when he did dangerous things alone. You knew the odds were built against the Dregs. Each time you walked out your door, there was a chance you weren't coming home. For Kaz, those odds doubled. His name was infamous to most of Ketterdam. You worried about him everytime you weren't there. "Just... stay safe. Please." You said. He nodded. You sighed. "I should go, Lev needs his walk." You said. He nodded. "If you need me-" "I'll find you." You said, that soft smile gracing your lips again.
You went home, leaving Kaz alone. Kaz had one more name on that list and he planned on crossing it off tonight. He got dressed, grabbing his cane and left.
Your day was slow. No job meant nothing to do. Lev felt boredom, that much was clear as he moped on the stairs. You would have taken him for a walk but the rain didn't seem to let up. You also hated that wet dog smell. So you settled for a book, reading quietly for a while before that even lost its entertaining effect.
You threw on a coat, walking to the club. Drenched didn't begin to describe your appearance as you came in. "How's our little Y/n?" Jesper asked. "Call me that again and that drink goes on your head." You said, sitting at the bar. "You're in a lovely mood." Jesper said. "Well, I'm ready to do a job but it's like Kaz won't assign me anything since..." You sighed. "Have you talked to him about it?" He asked. "No." You muttered. "Then how will it get fixed?" Jesper asked.
Inej walked in, sitting next to you. "Seen Kaz?" She asked. "Haven't seen him since this morning. Why, is he not home?" You asked. "He's not." She said. You rose a brow. "Jesper do you know where he is?" You asked. "...no." Jesper said with a frown. This was never a good sign. When Kaz went somewhere, at least one of you knew where he was going. Then it hit you. You knew exactly where the foolish bastard went and it was on that damn list.
The door to the club opened, Kaz walking in with blood dripping down his forehead. You stood up so quickly that the stool nearly toppled over as you rushed over. "Oh Kaz- what did you do?" You asked, looking at his wound. "You should see the other guy." He said, Jesper walking over. "Why didn't you bring one of us?" Jesper asked. "It was a one man job." He said. His speech seemed slurred. "Kaz, are you concussed?" You asked. "Nooooo! Just a little more wobbly than usual!" He said. Inej and Jesper swapped a look. "Kaz, you need help." Inej said. "Oh my gooooddd I'm fine!" He said. "Kaz, come on." You said. "Where are we going?" He asked. "To get you medical attention." You said. "Why?" He asked. "You're concussed." You said. "No I'm not" he lied.
"Oh my god he's like a giant baby" Jesper said with a chuckle. "Kaz, please just come with me." You said softly. Kaz looked at you. "Fineee. Only because it was you-" he poked your cheek making Inej's jaw drop "that asked." He said. You let out a small snort. "Come on, you big goofball." You said, carefully walking him out.
To say walking a concussed man down a cobblestone street was a challenge would be a large understatement. Kaz for some reason unbeknownst to you had his arm around you, walking like a drunk. "Kaz, are you alright?" You asked. "I am now that you're here" he said. You rolled your eyes, walking into a small (and probably illegal) clinic. "My friend needs help." You said. "What's wrong with him?" A woman asked. "I got hit in me noggin!" He said. "He's- Kaz stay over here- he's concussed." You answered, herding him back over to you after he tried touching something on the wall.
"Nikolai! You've got a patient!" The woman yelled. A man walked out. She explained the situation to him, you trying to ignore Kaz playing with your hair as they talked. "It's so soft." He would say. You looked at the doctor. "What can I do?" You asked. "Come with me, both of you." He said. You walked with Kaz who was now clinging to your side like a child. "Don't let him take off my gloves." He said. "He won't Kaz, you're just hurt is all." You assured softly.
You followed the doctor into a room. "Let me see your head." He said. Kaz held your hand as the doctor examined the gash. He hovered his hand over the wound, the cut seeming to fix himself. Kaz looked at him confused. "Now his head is mending itself. It'll probably be fixed by the morning. In the mean time, he needs to take this-" he handed you a pill "to recover. He's going to out of it for about thirty minutes and then he should fall asleep. Take it when you get home." He said. "Thank you doc." You said softly. "My head feels weirrrrrdd." Kaz said.
You took him back to his place, unlocking the door. "Alright Kaz, come on just a little further." You said, closing and locking the door behind him. He followed you to his room. "You're so good to me, it's strange." He said following you. You sat him on the bed. "Why is that strange?" You asked. "Most people hate me... if you knew the things I've done you'd hate me too." He muttered. You looked at him. "I could never hate the man that freed me." You said softly. He looked at you as you cleared your throat, kneeling to his feet.
"You're so beautiful." He said. "You're concussed Kaz." You said, removing a shoe. "No I'm seri...seri... fuck how do you say that word?" "Serious?" You asked. "Right. That one. I'm sherious." He said. You removed his other shoe. "Do you want to keep the gloves on?" You asked. "You can take them off." He said. You pulled his hands forward, taking one. His other hand drifted to your cheek. "I don't think you know how much I love you." He said. You looked up. "What?"
"You mean the world to me. Nah, the world can bite my ass. You mean the stars to me." He said. You tried to ignore him as you removed a glove. "I want to tell you that all the time but I'm scared" he said. "Of what?" You found yourself asking. "Of you leaving me." He said. He had probably never been this vulnerable with anyone. You took off the other glove, looking at his eyes. They seemed so fixated on you. You cleared your throat, pulling out the medicine. "Here, take this." You said softly. He took it, probably because you were the one that asked him.
"Lay down with me?" He asked. "Okay." You said softly. You laid down on the other side. "Closer." He said. You moved slightly. "Closer." He said again. You moved again. "Closer-" "Kaz if I move again I'm going to be against you." You said. "What if I wanna hold you? Ever think of that?" He asked. You looked at him surprised. "Kaz-" "Pleeeasssee?" He asked. You slowly moved closer snd he pulled you into his arms. Your heart was pounding in your ears. "This is how I wanna be all the time!" He said happily. He looked down at you. "I can feel your heartbeat. Are you dying?" He asked. "No I'm okay Kaz." You said softly. He nodded. "Are you comfy?" He asked. Even concussed he cared about your boundaries.
"Yes Kaz, I'm comfortable." You said with a small smile. "I like it when you smile. It's so pretty." He said. Your smile grew. "Aw, see that. That's amazing right there." He said. You looked up at him. "I love you so much." He said, burying his face in your neck. You closed your eyes. "I love you too Kaz." You said softly. "I'm tired." He muttered. "Then go to sleep." You said softly. "Promise you won't leave?" He asked. "I promise."
When Kaz woke up, he was confused by what was so warm. He opened his eyes, them adjusting to the morning light before he saw you, sound asleep in his arms. He blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing it right, which he was. You shifted before opening your eyes.
Your eyes widened and you jolted back, taking Kaz with you as you fell off the bed. "Morning to you too?" Kaz said confused. "Oh my god- I am so sorry Kaz! Are you alright? Well I'm on top of you of course you're not- Oh my god I need to get up" you rambled before standing up. "What happened last night?" He asked.
"You" You helped him up. "Had a concussion." You said. He blinked, hazy memories setting in. "Oh." He said. "You and I quote 'were hit on me noggin'. So." You quoted. "Oh. I wasn't a pain to deal with, was I?" He asked. "Well you-" wait. He didn't remember. "No, you just complimented me a bit." You lied. Kaz could tell you were withholding something. "How's your head?" You asked. "Better." He nodded. "Good. So now I can tell you how absolutely STUPID IT WAS TO GO ALONE!" You said. Kaz jumped. "Even if you wanted to protect me, you should've taken Inej or Jesper or hell borrow my dog! Don't go alone again!" You said.
"Y/n I'm fine--" "Coming back concussed does not constitute as fine!" You huffed. "The job is done, what is the big deal!?" Kaz asked, getting up. "You could have died Kaz. We could've lost you- I could have lost you!" You said. "Y/n I'm fine, I'm alive, I'm okay!" He said. "I can't lose you Kaz!" You finally said.
Memories of the night flooded back. "...Oh." he realized. "I care about you too much-" "You love me." He realized. You looked at him shocked. "I-I" "and I told you that I loved you." He said. You looked at the wall, tears of frustration building in your eyes. "Y/n... I understand that I was reckless and I'm sorry. I know you love me too much to see me hurt." He said. You swallowed the lump in your throat. "But I love you too." He said, stepping towards you. You stepped back with your eyes wide. "I-I can't Kaz." You said. He looked broken down.
"If you knew the things that I've done-" "I love you regardless Y/n." He halted. You looked scared. "But what if I'm too much- what if-" he held your hands. "You could never be too much for me Y/n." He assured. Tears flooded your vision. "Why can't I say it?" You asked. He chuckled. "You don't need to." He said softly. "I-I want to" you said. "Kaz I-" you hesitated, though you didn't know why. "I-I" you could feel his breath as his lips hovered over "I love you" you said softly.
He kissed you, you melting in his arms as he did. He had never felt such intense happiness before. You pulled away looking at him. "Is something wrong?" He asked softly. "No, I just... I want to remember this." You said. He smiled kissing you again.
The next day, you sat next to Inej in the club, Jesper drinking beside her. "So was taking care of Kaz difficult?" Inej asked. "No, though he did stare at a painting for a bit." You said with a shrug. "He was out of it when he was here." Jesper said. "Oh it was even worse at the doctor's office. He told them he 'got hit in his noggin'." You said making Jesper laugh. "Oh I would've paid to have seen that.
Kaz sat next to you and you smiled. "Hi." You greeted. "Hello." He said with that same smile. Inej and Jesper both looked at you. "Alright, so you two definitely fucked." Jesper said. You choked on your drink. "By the saints Jesper!" You coughed. "Nah, something is going on here. You two have got that look." Jesper said. "Jesper, were you perhaps dropped on your head as a child?" Kaz asked. "No! At least not that I'm aware- forget that! I'm telling you, come clean now and it'll be easier later." He said. "We literally have no clue what you're talking about." Kaz said. "No, it's other wise you two did something or I'm drunk!" He said. "Jesper you've had six drinks. You're drunk." You said. "Nooo- well maybe... shit maybe I am drunk." He said making you laugh. "Mm. I have a job I need to discuss with you." Kaz said. "Kay." You said, following him.
Kaz closed the door to his office behind him. "So did you actually have a job or did you just want to see me?" You asked. "Hm. Which would you like better?" He asked, pulling you close. You smiled, kissing him. He smiled against your lips before stopping. "Hello Inej." He said, looking past you. "So Jesper was right" Inej said making you jump. Kaz kept his hand by your waist. "Mhm. Though we're not letting him know that, we'd never hear the end of it." Kaz said. "Oh I agree. Though I never thought you two would sort your shit out long enough to actually be together." Inej shrugged. "Rude." You said. "Well I'll leave you two to do... whatever it is you were doing. Just... try not to leave the office too wrecked or else Jesper will actually figure it out, regardless of alcohol consumption. "Inej said, walking out.
You let out a small laugh and Kaz wrapped his hands around your waist with a smile. "Do me a favor?" He asked. "Anything." You said softly. "Lock the door"