"Random Brain Things Blog" @randombrainthings - Tumblr Blog

POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything

Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity

On the "needing days to recover and recharge" point; I'm not autistic, but I do have cptsd, and this goes to show that there's so many reasons to normalize everything on this list! Seriously!

theprideful-deactivated20251201

why autistic/adhd people may not ask for help

i’m not sure where to start and i don’t even know what questions to ask that would help me understand any of this

i want to ask you but i’m deathly afraid that you will hate my guts and resent me forever

i feel stupid and embarrassed for not knowing/understanding this

i wasn’t paying attention/i zoned out/you were talking too fast while going over this

“oh my god are you serious? it’s obvious, weren’t you paying any attention?” thanks for confirming i’m as stupid as i feel, appreciate it

i forgot about this deadline and i should’ve done it sooner but now it’s too late and awkward to say anything

your criticism will cast me into despair

i have no idea how to articulate my concerns so i will sit here silently until i can

i feel horrible about not doing it and not asking you initially and so i’m avoiding talking about it in the hopes that i will miraculously and suddenly understand it instead of doing the walk of shame to your office and risking the chance that i’ll piss you off and ruin your night

i’m working up the confidence to ask you

i’m formulating in my head a way to ask that doesn’t make me sound like i didn’t care enough to do it sooner, and that i actually have the willingness to do it, and that doesn’t place any blame on anyone except maybe me

autistic/adhd people feel free to add on! obviously this will vary from person to person, but this is my personal experience as an autistic and adhd person. if you’re neurotypical, please don’t try to offer tips for how to get around this because i can almost guarantee it will not be helpful :)

thatautisticadhdfeel

In the past, every time I've asked for help I've gotten into trouble. One person told me it was okay to ask for help only to yell at me for asking ten minutes later

#aiiiiii #the workplace and academic trauma is real

adhd-induced-happiness

A Checklist Of Possible Reasons I Am Upset, To Review When I Can't Seem To Figure It Out:

did not eat

new hyperfixation and no time for it

have not done a creative in 24 hrs

Bad Sounds

clothes are touching my body

cold

people

one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel

last time I drank water was ??????

nervous nervous nervous nervous

got a Slightly Worse grade than expected

last hug was ??????

slept a full 45 minutes

lonely ............

guts are shredding (again)

have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs

stuck inside

too much screen time

Yay Overwhelm

room is disaster area

have not talked to Person in a while

bored

imposter phenomenon (again)

no current routine

how long have I been working???

Too Much Socialization

and then. and THEN. I may consider:

something is actually wrong

catadromously

translating thoughts into words

- *snapping fingers vigorously* ummmmmmm …. ahhhh …. hrrnnnngggg …

- you know, the thing! the thing! with - with the things?

- *closes eyes and covers ears to see and hear own thoughts better*

- To Me Is Needed The Thing

- *gives up and draws diagram*

#autism #nd things #AuDHD

alisonzai

on god

i love subtitles

I need to read to hear

#about me #auditory processing

kat-of-letters

i know that “don’t harass people for being weird, they might be autistic!” is a fairly popular take on here. but as a Certified Autist, i’d like to add that harassing allistic and/or neurotypical people for being weird is also bad, and should not be done

and before you come in with “yeah, you never know who is and isn’t autistic, and you shouldn’t force people to out themselves!” i want to say two things: one, i agree. and two, even if you could magically avoid ever harassing a single autistic person, it still wouldn’t be okay to go after NTs for being weird. they’re people, janice. they’re allowed to be really invested in naruto

blujayonthewing

#stop playing the game of ‘who is it okay for me to hurt?’ #the answer is no one #the answer is ALWAYS going to be no one #none people is the correct number of people to hurt [X]

#important

I had this revelation in therapy today that being more open about my needs has given people permission to meet them without fearing they will offend me

So now people use the soundless doorbell on my office instead of knocking

They don’t enter my office at all if my sign says I’m not feeling social

They quietly clarify sarcastic language so that I can be part of the joke too

They get up to shut the door of a meeting room / classroom when they see me glance at a sound in the hallway

They ask what they can do to make our work together on a project clearer, or more accessible

Because they know me now, they don’t take offence to comments that I mean earnestly and compassionately even when—to them—they might sound deadpan, or insincere

People I don’t know as well hear me when I say “This is unfair for people with disabilities—this is my recommendation”

I’m doing well now.

I’m reaping the benefits of the structure I created and the advocacy I’ve been practicing. And I have a social network and connections that don’t take all my mental energy to stay engaged with—for the first time in ages, it’s not me hunched over on a one-way street, hauling the sole responsibility of social interactions in an overstuffed backpack.

It only took me 31 years to not hate myself.

I implore you, please: seek out these self-advocacy skills earlier, if you can.

You deserve it.

#nd things #neurodiversity #actually autistic #actually adhd #disability #mental health #advocacy #about me #rambling

For late-diagnosed people, what’s the most glaringly “autistic” social thing you did/said as a grown-ass adult before you received a diagnosis /realised you were on the spectrum?

I’ll go first. Two examples:

Making out with [now] wife for the first time about 6 years ago. We are standing in my kitchen listening to music on her phone.

Her: *stops kissing* Do you have speakers?

Me: No, but I have a bowl in that cabinet that I use to make my phone louder.

Her: You don’t have speakers upstairs?

Me: *confused* No, I don’t have speakers upstairs. *points* I have that bowl in the cabinet.

Her: *silence* So, to be clear, I was actually asking if you had speakers upstairs so we could go make out in your bedroom.

Me: Oh. *silence* Why didn’t you just say so?

Her: I was flirting!!

At a summer wedding with [now] wife and some of her friends, about 3 years ago. We have been dancing all night and sit down for a break. I pick up a cold glass of water and press it to my face.

Wife’s friend, who I’ve just met: That water looks so refreshing! Maybe I should put some on my face to cool down, too.

Me: You want water on your face?

Her: Yeah.

Me: Do you want me to do it?

Her: Sure!

Me: Okay! *literally throws ice water directly into her face*

Five minutes of raucous laughter later, she reveals to me that she was joking.

…what a wild neurotypical world

#actually autistic #neurodivergencies #luckily people find me HILARIOUS so it all works out I suppose #about me #I hope this post isn’t offensive - humor is just how I deal with things!#moving gif #talk of kissing

pinstripes-of-doom-deactivated2

things get real complicated once you realize that trying to force your brain to "just push through things" isn't the default safe option you thought it was when you were younger and can damage you in other ways if you're already exhausted

suddenly you have to weigh your own health against Getting The Thing Done and it's hard to gauge how far its okay to push yourself and what you can practically prioritize

stuff gets messy once you think that your own well-being matters and i feel like we should talk about that and how it does not mean you're doing it wrong, just that it takes time to learn your limits and workarounds

#nd in grad school

decayanddesign-deactivated20251

Isn’t it strange how whenever neurotypicals intentionally write an autistic character, they fall back on mostly harmful stereotypes towards us - yet when they write a character they just mean to be “quirky” or “weird”, they accidentally write a genuinely decent autistic character?

Wonder how long it’ll take them to acknowledge this, if ever

#this is so real tho #also side bar:#writing fiction is part of how I figured out I should probably be evaluated #like I was writing thought processes and emotional responses the way that make sense to me #and my beta reader would be like ‘ why doesn’t he consider x y z #and a million other things #and I would be like ‘why would he consider x y z #and then the more I learned about autism #and the more I looked at my characters #the more i was like ohhhhhh fuck.#nd things

It’s the little things

When I am alone, I always find ordering at fast food counters or cafeterias daunting, as some places force eye contact with every sentence, or people speak in such a way that I can’t hear over the background noise. However, I just had the most calm ordering experience at our student centre.

I was standing in line with my noise-cancelling headphones on, and the guy motioned me up to order at his register. I approached and took off my headphones, and he asked for my order. I made eye contact and then looked away as I ordered, and then back up. He started to ask one of the usual follow-up questions at this particular restaurant, but I couldn’t process what he was saying at first because I got distracted by a scraping chair. Usually when something like this happens, I have to ask the person to repeat themselves or I just guess what they said and respond the way I think I am meant to. However, this guy stopped mid-sentence, made subtle eye contact to re-focus my attention, and then repeated the question, which I was then able to answer. He repeated my answer back to me, and then when he asked if I needed sauce or ketchup, he asked exactly how many of each I wanted. He then waited until I had put out my hand to take them before extending his hand toward me. (Often, the person shoves them toward me as I’m still trying to put away my credit card or student ID, so I fumble one or the other and drop things, or get flustered.) Next, the guy clearly stated that he would bring my drink to the place I would wait for my order. (Every one at this place does it differently, so I always just stand in-between the register and the food pick-up awkwardly, not sure where I am supposed to be and feeling buffeted and in the way.) When he brought me my drink, he handed it to me with a straw—usually I have to remember to get one, and I never do—and used my name and a quiet voice to get my attention. I thanked him sincerely and then put my headphones back on.

The entire time, he made polite eye contact, but didn’t force it—I never felt like my eye contact was expected, because he had immediately read my body language and the context clues and accommodated to my specific communication needs in sensorily overwhelming situations. We had interacted for 2 seconds before he realized he needed to change his pace, and he did so without fanfare or condescension.

That is perhaps the most calm, affirming experience I have ever had on this campus, which says a lot about how students with disabilities are expected to cope..

But all that to say, 100thousand awards for you, fast food person. One thousand million awards.

#it’s really really the little things #that can make all the difference #now I can save that energy for prepping for my meeting #and that is a gift #nd things #actually adhd #actually autistic #nd in grad school #about me #gifs

I made this today after having a silent but very long short-circuit while people were in my office yesterday. I was unable to ask them to leave because sometimes my words stop working entirely when I am overwhelmed. (The text in red is written in dry erase marker, so I can update it every morning.)

This afternoon, one of my friends who has an office in the same suite told me she really liked my sign and that it was really helpful. I explained why I made it, and also said that I am scared people will not want to hang out with me if I ask them to leave me alone or to be quiet when I am having a hard time. It started a great conversation and I feel a lot better about my boundaries. I hope this helps someone else, too.