NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.
God I wish Vincent van Gogh was alive to see this
That sentiment is so sweet and pure.
hello vonnie

Discoholic šŖ©
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Game of Thrones Daily
styofa doing anything

if i look back, i am lost

#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium
noise dept.
ojovivo
Peter Solarz

Love Begins

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Kiana Khansmith

JBB: An Artblog!
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
Xuebing Du

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Hungary

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Jamaica
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from Brazil
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Canada
@ransurround
NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.
God I wish Vincent van Gogh was alive to see this
That sentiment is so sweet and pure.
Baby of Mine by glimpen
CharlotteĀ āLottieā La Bouff - The Princess and The Frog (2009)Ā ā³Ā requested by @askjacebadunthingsā
An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.
It isnāt uncommon for this particular demon to be summonedāfrom exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forestsābut it has to admit, this is the first time itās been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful āHome Sweet Homeās hung across the wood-paneled walls.
Itās a mistakeāa wrong number, per se. No witch itās ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if theyād up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didnāt work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.
It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacentāthe kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It movesāfeels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.
As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.
Now, to be fair, the demon wouldnāt ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.
āTodd! Todd, dear, I didnāt know you were visiting this year! You didnāt call, you didnāt writeābut, oh, Iām so happy youāre here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And donāt worry about the blood, hereāI had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didnāt go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and āedgyā stuff these days, so I donāt suppose you mind.ā She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isnāt mocking, itās sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. āImagine if it leaves a scar! Itād be a bit ābadass,ā as you teenagers say, wouldnāt it?ā
She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a āToddā or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.
The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. āBe a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? Iāll be back in a jiffy.ā
Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls theyād swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns theyād been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessingāhappy accidents, as the humans would say.
Thatās why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. Thatās why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. Itās as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.
āIām surprised youāre so tall, Todd! I havenāt seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the timeāyou do love wearing all black, donāt you?ā She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. āI was starting to think youād never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, butā¦I am glad youāre here, dear. Would you like some cake?ā Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.
It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesnāt seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadnāt had its dust stirred in years.
Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.
The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite āthank you,ā but it doesnāt suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.
āOh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfatherās was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? Itās alright, dear, Iāll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.ā
The demon merely nodsāsome communication can be understood without failāand drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. Itās ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.
āI hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write backābut I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just canāt wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little cafĆ© down the street we can go to. I havenāt been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before heā¦well.ā She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. āI canāt believe itās been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.ā Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. āI may as well give you your birthday present, since youāre here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. Iāll be right back.ā
When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms. Ā
āI found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought youād like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chillāI hope you do like it.ā With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demonās broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. āHappy birthday, Todd, dear.ā
Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, heās clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.
this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.
i had to
I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like āWhat is that thing, what the hell, Anette?ā and sheās like āDonāt you remember my grandson Todd?ā and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest sheās been since her husband died.
Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins
I just want to watchĀ āToddā help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils. Ā Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, soĀ āToddā brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, butĀ āHoneyā likes her hard candies, and doesnāt get oil on the carpet, and whenĀ āToddā has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch.Ā Anette never givesĀ āToddā her soul, but she gives him her heart
In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that sheās not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. Heās tried getting her to sell him her soul, but sheās just laughed, told him that he shouldnāt talk like that. With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. Heās done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather.Ā Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anetteās home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anetteās soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that itās blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here.Ā Todd looks down, holding Anetteās soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word,Ā āPlease.ā The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Toddās kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While theyāre arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that itās physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.
They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they werenāt able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayorās office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while heās up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anetteās soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground. He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, itās Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that sheās missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Toddās shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Toddās ear that heās done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, sheās surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case. Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he canāt stay, but she wonāt hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson. The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF sheās gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if sheās always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, sheās already talking about how much cake theyāll need to feed all of these relatives.Ā
P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.
the last lines of the show:
demon: youāre not blind here ā but youāre not surprised. whenā¦?
anette: oh, toddy, donāt be silly, my biological grandsonās not twelve feet tall and doesnāt scorch the furniture when he sneezes. iāve known for ages.
demon: then why?
anette: you wouldnāt have stayed if you werenāt lonely too.
demon: you⦠you donāt have to keep calling me your grandson.
anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and letās go bake a cake. honey, heel!
honey: W̽ĢĢæĶĶĢOĢĶ¦Ģ£Ģ®Ģ¹Ķ Ģ²ĢŖOĶĢøĢĶ̬FĢĶ«ĶĶĢĢ«ĶĢĶĶĢ
that addition is a+ :)
THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS
Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Yāall! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).
If ever donāt reblogging this, Iām either dead, dying, or buried under cat.
This is why I love Tumblr so much! Thank you all for collaborating on this prompt and turning it into something beautiful <3
I accidentally found this Umbridge and Miss Trunchbull photo shoot, and itās terrifying
dark childrenās literature, show me the forbidden butch & femme couple
Customer Service Wolf.
That wolf embodies the thoughts of most in customer service
also consider: LOTR but hobbits haveĀ Tapeta Lucidum
Boromir gets the fright of his life their first night on the road
Boromir: *glances over his shoulder* ??!!!!???!!
Hobbits:
Hobbits: what
i will never get over that you used an image of raccoons for this purpose because it is incredibly accurate
LOTR au but instead of hobbits literally raccoons
Gandalf: well this raccoon found the ring and has been carrying it around. unfortunately we canāt take it off him or he gets very bite-y. so I figure, the raccoon is the ringbearer now
Elrond: what are those other three raccoons doing here
Gandalf: he brought his buddies. I call this oneĀ āMerryā
TRASH PANDA HOBBITS
@auraboo THE LEGACY OF FATTY MCFAT LIVES ON
Aragorn: *watching Frodo & Sam scamper off in the direction of Mordor* our hopes lie with those raccoons now
Legolas: do they⦠know where they are going
Aragorn: I sure hope so
Faramir: father why is this raccoon in the livery of the citadel
Denethor: haha doesnāt he look precious
Elfhelm: Dernhelm, is that a raccoon in your bag?
Dernhelm: *sweating nervously* Uh no, sir.
Eowyn, later: And I said no, you know, like a liar.
Denethor: WHY did you let a raccoon go off with the Ring??
Faramir: ā¦.it just seemed like the right thing to do
Gandalf: he scratched you up real good huh
Faramir: ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦gouged my FUCKING arm and bit me on my face
Witch King: no living man can kill me - AUGH FUCK, RACCOON, RACCOON ON MY LEG ARGHHHH
Eowyn: *stab*
Wraiths break into the room at the prancing pony: *UnHoLy ScReEcHiNg*
Trash Panda Hobbits:
Wraiths: Oh, what the fuck, whAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
Treebeard: Baroom, humm, where are my small, impatient friends?
Merry and Pippin:
Donāt go where I canāt follow, Mr. Frodo.
~~~~~~The Hobbit interlude~~~~~~
Thorin: Youāre the burgular.Go on andā¦burgle something! Bilbo:
Saruman: Well since some fucking TREES took over Isengard I guess Iāll take over The Shire. Farmer Maggot and ever other Halfling down to the Sacksville-Bagginses:
@jaleana
So I just had the shit creeped out of me.
Iām not someone who believes in ghosts, but I was sitting in my room, alone and in the dark, and I heard the strings of my violin being softly plucked.Ā
My violin is hanging on the wall several feet away.Ā
So I gathered my courage, grabbed my phone, and used the camera light to investigate.Ā
And found this.
A goddamn spider was playing my violin. Not even joking. The little shit.
I think Iād have preferred a ghostā¦.
So anywayā¦. *tiny incoherent cough exhumes from spider* Hereās Wonderwall.
bwa ha ha ha
I hesitated before posting, but I bet I know whatās going on here. The plucking was pretty rhythmic, right?
Male spiders pluck the webs of female spiders in a pattern to determine if the female is interested.
That spider was trying to mate with your violinā¦
Ahh so itās a boy(I just assume every insect I see is a girl) thatās such a cute mating ritual!
He just wants love!
The behavior would indicate that it is a male. Only females weave webs. Male spiders have to be careful not to be mistaken for prey and eaten, so they pluck the web. Poor thing didnāt exactly get any this time!
Poor spider thinking āDamn this web was made by a strong spider, a real awesome spider, can I possibly get with this boss ass spider??ā
poor little hyperion, dreaming of the moon
New Minnie designer doll releasing January 22nd!
Traditional Chinese hanfu by éēµč®°
I stumbled upon this portrait by Giovanni Boldini purely by chance while looking for stuff on Google images. I only saw the miniature at first and mistook the right end of the coat/dress for a foamy wave, and thought it was a stormy beach scene. Made me think of Ariel immediately ! I clicked on the pic and realized it was completely different though. But⦠why not ? :) Loved the flow of the pose and Edwardian feel. Just added the iconic wave ! Ariel looks very wistful here. Maybe Eric turned out to be a douche after all (or does he have smelly feet ?) and now she longs to go back to the sea. Donāt give up everything to follow a pretty boy you just met, I guess :D No worries, daddy got yo back.
OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time! Yes, itās in Australiaā thatās a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean. The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of āI thought it was a weird ugly dogā and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. Sheās been hailed as a hero who saved diners.
Itās amazing what power ānot knowingā has.
The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.
what do dogs look like in france???
Fashionistas - PRE-ORDER - AVAILABLE AUGUST 31, 2017
There's a curvy red head, there's a curvy red head, I'm crying.
cuties
Me, watching Moana: K. Iām not gonna cry this time.Ā
The movie:Ā
Me:
I just rewatched it yesterday and, yup, cried.
thereās a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D
homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achillesā player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achillesā player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnonās face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend
Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achillesā player:Ā I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You canāt fight everyone.Ā How would you evenā Achillesā player:Ā *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achillesā player:Ā How many? Homer, the DM:Ā ā¦lots. Enough to clog the frigginā river with bodies. Achillesā player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achillesā player: *reaches for dice*
Homer, the DM: Okay guys, so the warās over, you had a bunch of losses but you won in the end. Time to go home, letās roll to see who gets there firsā
Odysseusās player: I got a critical failure.
Homer, the DM; āOk seriously guys theyāre not going to fall for the giant horse.ā
Odysseusā player; āI just rolled a nat 20 on my deception check.ā
Homer, the DM; āWhat the fuck.ā