The Rain Monster

Serious or possibly upsetting posts tagged 'depressing shit' and 'serious topic' if you want to avoid them. I'll be honest though, this is mostly me hanging at an empty pool at midnight and tossing memes back and forth between some other shadowy figures at the far edges, so I have not been on top of tagging things for a while. Edit circa Twitter Implosion: if you're new to Tumblr, just fyi we all peed in this pool. Since Musk took a massive dump on Twitter it's probably a step up, though.

[the-rain-monster]

Eldritch Jolene

Music by my friend Pretty Boy Floyd, lyrics and vocals by me :D Happy Halloween!

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him just because you can

Your beauty is beyond compare

Each lock of hair a solar flare

With depthless skin and eyes nebula green

Your smile a ragged tear in space

Your voice a lightning bolt embrace

And I can naught but worship you

Jolene

He screams about you in his sleep

And when he wakes, does naught but weep

In terror, as he calls your name

Jolene

And I collapse in ragged awe

As you extend an onyx claw

Please take me first that I may serve

Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you please embrace my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please rend him of flesh just because you can

You can have your choice of us

We lie prostrate, hope treasonous

Our love for you is ecstasy

Jolene

I dare offer this prayer to you

I've naught to give worthy of you

Take blood and breath give joy and death

Jolene

Jolene, J̷o̴l̶e̸n̷e̴, J̴͖̊́͂ö̵͇͝l̸̺̇͊ĕ̴̯̤̰̏ṅ̵͎ě̶͇̕, J̸͍̋͐̎o̸̼̞̓͌ͅl̴̛̺e̸̺̯̾͝ͅn̸͕͎̻̏ė̸̡͕̉͝

D̷̞̃y̶̜̍e̴̫͝l̶̨̿ ̴̩͂f̷̰̓a̵̢̎h̴͍̅ṅ̸̘ ̸͎̔m̷̞̈́e̴̢͊ ̵̰͛a̷̲̓ ̵̝̅š̴̬ḧ̸͓́k̵͔͝é̶̢n̷̦̋ ̸̜̊n̸͋ͅo̵̅͜ ̸̭͋s̸̜͆v̵͒͜e̷͖͘l̴̠̈ṃ̶͘n̴̗̏ ̵̤̓c̴̟̆à̸͉l̷̬͐j̵̺͝ṟ̵͂a̴͉̓n̶̡͘ ̸̣̃

̶̞̐J̷̍͜ó̷̜l̶̤͆ë̷̙́n̵͓͝ȩ̴͂,̵̼̓ ̷̭̈J̷̩͋o̸̙͛ļ̸̕e̸̤͊n̸̟̂ḛ̷̐,̷̴͇͚̩̃̊͒̂̍̕͜ J̷̧͕͓̝̰̏͂̀̿̽̓̈̚ǫ̸̪̩͆̽̑͜͝l̶͖̜͙͇̳̥̖̩̆̌̈́̾͑̓͒͒e̵̡̨̝̥̼̹̮͑͝n̶̢̲̗̬͍̭̄̍͋̇̄̿̓̐̍̊̐͝ͅẹ̶̺̩̝̾̂̉,̴̢̧̻͕̠̙̼̘̤̀̿̔͌͆͌͝ ̸̢̰͈̝̝̰̎͝͠ͅJ̷̧̨̨̺͔̫͖̉̋͊̀͆̚ơ̵̙̪͚͈̬̈́̈̈l̶̢̖̩͚̬̻̘̘̬̞̈͊́͌̈͠e̴͚͌͑͘͝ͅn̴̡̯̜̜͍̠͇̫̽̓̔̎͊ͅͅe̴̛̛̘̯̟̗̗̬̥͎̭̿̀͒

Ç̷̟̫̯͚̞͙͖̩̰͆̈́̓͠ͅt̷̖̮̝̗͉̱̓̒͆͋͠͠h̷̢̛͔̦̖͍̺̘͍̻͎̥̼͠ú̴̹̫͊l̷̛̛̳͚͕̼̣͗͌̍̈́͒̚͠͝ḫ̸͉̣͇̜̺̪͗̑͛̋͜u̷̢̞͚̗͍̹̠̦̟̯͊̿̉̋́̽͂̓̎̐̈́̿̿̊̀̕͜ͅ ̷̧̡̲̟̙̤̦̰̬͙̥̓͂̑̀͌̒͛̂̎͋́̂̾̄͘̕͝Ŗ̷̡̻͉̘̦̪͇̠͎̯̺̊̅̈́͑̒̾̿̈́̀̾̓̈́̀̆̕͜͠'̵̡̮̺̯̥̗̬̫̱͙̣̳̅̊̀̐̊̇̔̌̔́̓̅̆̓͝͝l̸̢̘̜͉̥͎̹̥̗̼̝̠͊̑ỵ̷̱͈̻͉̬̙͙͉̯͕͖̽̅̏̕͝ě̵̢̧̡̢̙̩͍̪͈͍̞̲̻̞̰͑͂͜h̶͍͂̓̈̅̑̽̓̂́̓̅̚̕͠ ̴̢̛͙̙͚̺̤͕͉̬̹̭͓̳̿̿̈́͂̎̀͊̀̒͌̿͆͝a̴̹̍͊̑̑̈́j̵̨͖̣̯͚̻̦̤̳̗̝̹̜̤̭̀̑̈̆̾͋͜͝ͅṽ̵̧̛̛̥̼̟̤̦̝̟̘͇͉̪̭͚̘̀̿̉̽͐̇͜ͅa̵̛̛͖̮͉̜͙̳̭̳̖̐̀̍̆͑̑n̶̨̨̛̜̯̗̭̹̯̝̤̻͓̖̼̼̎̓̈́̉͐͊̓̾͆̕͝ ̶̨̬͍̟̱̠͙̮͔̲̫͓̜̭̒͜͠d̴̘̰̯̩̘̗̗͈̲̺͓͕̓z̸̡͓͍̭͚̟̝̹̩̖̙͇͆̍͐̌̅̐̈̚ẻ̶̲̙̑͗̆̅̑͌̄͌̐̇̾̽͝ỵ̴͍̝͈̊ ̷̧̻̦̝̥̀̏̐̉̉̅͂͋͂͗̀͊̕ͅv̶̨̮̹͖̻̀̇͆̄̽̏̈̓̆͒͜͠͠ä̶̛̺̗̮̞̣͍͕͓̞̙́̒̅͑͂̃͗͌̋͐̅̆͘͜͝͝ĺ̵̯͇̜̭̩̻̣͗͋͝j̷̢̢͕̹̘̫̫̘͕̹͎̈́̇̐̾̾̉̈̀́̈̓͘̕̕͝ͅͅò̵̞̱̞̾̒̍̔̌͊̔̋͘ ̸̢̢̼̞̝̻̭̥̑ǵ̷̱̙̥͓̪̰̙̜̉̊́̎̂̇̀͝â̴͙̺͇̫̪̙̱̰̖̻̻̠̏̆̔͌̆͆̒͛͆̊͒͘̚͘͜͝n̸̢̛̯̳̘͚͇̩͇͈̱̹͎̞͔̠͍͒͛̔̀̌̅̍͒̓͝͝

̷̛̫͎̥̖͉͕̟͓̦̗̻͍̮͎̻̺͉͌̎͌́̒̉͐̈́

J̴̣̣̼̆́͛̓̌̄̋̄̇̋̇̌o̷̬̱̼͔̲̰̹͎̱͖̩͍̗̝̦̮̤̩͔̞͇̠̬̺̓̽̈́̒̓͋̐̊̽̆͌͒͂͂̐̏͑̂̿͒͒͂̉̾̊̍̕͜͠͝͝l̴̡̺͕̩̳̝̗̳͉̞̲̼̜̰͔̼̜̟͍̤̘̓̾͑̀̅͝ę̴̫̎̇͂̓́̿̍̍͒̏͒̀̔̐̏̏̎̌͊͗̇͌̓̏̈̈́͒͛̎̾̓̂̋͝͝͝͝n̸̢̧̢̳͔̬̪͍͙̳̲͎̮̙̪̦̖̰̤͚̻̾̄̑̽̂̈̔ḙ̴̛͇͚͈̻͉̳̗̺͈̻͉̱̬̞̜̬̞̮̺̯̦͉̩̩̳̝̤̳̤̭̫̖͍͉̮̙̠͔͉̳̪̲̖͎͉͂̉̿͌͗͆͗͗̓͒̑͒̊͂́̆́̒̃̂͊̋̒͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ,̶̡̨̨̡̢̢̥̯͓͓̰͎̙͉͚̟̖͔͓̣̮̻̬͚̠̘͈̳̰̟͚̲̤̗̻̹̰͇͚͖͛̊̓̈́ͅ ̶̧̨̢̢̛̞̥̭͖͙͍͕̜̠̥̪̗̞̣̹̘͉̩̗̜̉̇̈́̅̄̋͌̔̐̓̆͑̕͜͠ͅJ̸̢̛͙̩͉̯̺͔̞̪̘̝̮̲̠̳͇͌͆̔̀́̒̒̈́͐̿̎̐͒̎͒͋̔͝͝ợ̴̩͓̮̤͕͖̅̏̀͛̈́́͒͗͛̄̀̂̈́̀͒̑̿̃̈̉͑̐͠ͅl̴̡̯̜̲̠̖̙̰̮̰̘̣͙͖̲̠̩̦̹̺͍̺̜̦̬̭̲͔͕̣̥̬͕̪̽͗͐͑̍͛̾̏̕̚ͅe̶̢͓͎̼̼͙̺̻̬͚͈̹̭͔̳͔͛̏̏̀̎̓̏̈͒̓̇̆̍̉̅̌͌̒̂͐̈́́̍͂̅͆̏̌̒̕̕̚̚͠͠͠͠n̸̢̨̢̧̰̞̥͍̮̥̠̘̤̤̗͖͈̟̫͖̼̯̺̩̯̟͍̲̼̻͚͎̣̠͚͕̱̲̜̟͖̲̥͙̿͋̾̀̿̿͌̅̇̎͛͂̌͊̎̏̊͐̀̈́̂̄̇̾̃͋̇̽̕͝ͅͅȩ̸̡̢̢̡̡̨̨͈͈̤̣̻͚͈͓̦̠̥̬͙̦͍̟͖͙̤̦̤̻̺̘͚̪̇̄́̇͜͠ͅͅͅͅ

[calllynx]

Op turned off reblogs but I MUST

[maidslime]

Ok like. Imagine life without ads. You wake up, check your messages across a variety of apps, no ads. You get up and put on the tv while you prep your breakfast, no ads. Maybe you drive somewhere and switch on the radio, no ads. Maybe you drive a long distance, yet somehow, not a single billboard on your path. You pick up a newspaper or magazine to pass the time, no advertisements only articles. You turn on your game console, the home screen is just about your games, no ads to buy more. You open a streaming app, you don't pay extra for no ads, there's just no ads ever.

Think about how much of your time is spent looking at ads. "Download ublock" yeah I know, I have. But that doesn't change that the world is covered with endless advertising. Imagine never seeing that again. How much better our lives would be.

[transcendingirl]

Christoph Steinbrenner/Rainer Dempf, "Delete!" (06.2005, Vienna)

[falsedetective]

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

[falsedetective]

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

[digital-morganism-deactivated20]

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

[fleysh]

[bluesardine]

Some great additions from the comments.

[timemachineyeah]

Didn’t anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.

[timemachineyeah]

On of the queens halfway through the show, “Honey, are you straight?”

This man, in a strangled voice, “I don’t know”

[tooaceforthisspace]

We love the character development

[galileoace]

Answering "I don't know" is a level of self awareness a lot of people never attain

[newsandstuffisee]

[philosopherking1887]

There is literally a style of architecture called "Spanish colonial" (very common in California). Where do they think that came from??

[incredifishface]

Don’t get me started.

A documentary just aired on public television that asserted repeatedly that the Spanish language was never an imposition, that it was embraced throughout because the “natives” recognised how useful and superior it was as an instrument for high culture and intelectual endeavours.

They believe that btw. Even as they prosecute the languages other than Spanish in Spain itself right now, today, as we speak.

You will have difficulty convincing a “normal” Spanish person that what happened in South America was not, on the whole, basically good for the people who lived there. It’s the mainstream understanding of the thing. And then there’s the right and the far right.

They’ve been asked to ask forgiveness for the genocide and they honestly believe that’s coming from a bunch of ignorant radicals who don’t know their own history. They will never apologise, ever.

Apologies. I guess I got myself started.

[daysleftofsecondterm]

Left anonymous because, I'm just gonna say it, sounds like you care. Regardless, I will help you out regardless.

Yes, a lot of life sucks here right now. But the general cultural vibe is one of earnesty and being there for each other. One lovely older white lady paid for my groceries the other day just because she wanted to. I was once crying my heart out at a grocery store and a man said he was gonna keep me in his prayers. Those people are as american as the voters who think my existence is a crime.

It is impossible to boil America down to being good or bad; it's a wonderful mess of contradictions of things that are great, and things that are terrible. We're the home of Star Wars, a franchise whose entire thesis is fighting back against fascism, and Star Trek, the birth of modern yaoi. But we're also the place that gave you scientology and billionaires. We're the country that voted for a guy who overturned our fundamental right to abortion, but we're also the country that fights like hell to keep that right in our state constitutions and will fully drop everything to get someone they know across state lines to get the medical procedure they need.

All of that is american. None of it cancels the other stuff out. Remember that the worst of us exists, but it is not all of us.

And if I had to distill America down to one sound, it would not be the braying voice of Velveeta Voldemort screaming about how much they hate windmills. It would be this:

[jayalaw]

For the submitter, don’t worry; we Americans already hate ourselves.

But in all seriousness, keep holding the US accountable. Same for any neighbor you have who agrees with the current administration. Def know that not all of us are hateful cult followers, but being angry at us is legit now

[iguanamouth]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[thetyrannosaur]

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

[skiingcows]

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world

[sabrebash]

Is That Allowed

[sabrebash]

Boy am i glad that the con has a facebook page so i can post this photo:

[qqueenofhades]

Ok but now i think what’s-his-fuck, the GOP congressman who disappeared for like 4 months, was their test case for McConnell, and McConnell is their test case for Trump to see how long they can Weekend At Bernie’s him because Vance has all the charisma of a flaming bag of dog shit.

To be fair, Random GOP Congressman is not the same level as McConnell, who in turn is not the same level as Trump. Every time Trump disappears for more than a few days, people have been ALL OVER it (not least since we are all, of course, so hungry for him to finally eat shit and die). You really can't keep the president of the US totally out of sight for more than a week before somebody somewhere is going to notice, and while they will doubtless try to stall as long as possible, they can't get away with it indefinitely. It would, however, be grimly hilarious to watch Vance try to act like a Great Statesman (TM).

As for McConnell, as I said in an earlier post, he probably has the "ratfuck my own death to cheat the Democrats out of one last seat" provision written into his will, and will die doing what he loved: being a hardcore racist obstructionist cheating fuck destroying democracy and progress for no good reason at all. I still think Andy Beshear should call their bluff, announce that he's suing to challenge the dipshit "wah wah the governor can't pick a replacement because he's a Democrat" law that the KY legislature dutifully passed on Mitch's orders, and then appoint a Black woman to McConnell's seat. Trust me, if Mitch is within a country MILE of consciousness, the screaming will be heard across ye olde Appalachians. Do it, Beshear. Doooooooooo itttttttttttt.

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

hey gang i got popsicles pick one as pass the box to someone else

mint

lemon

orange

strawberry

cola

pineapple

dark cherry

anise

Voting ended onJul 14

"i cant believe you dont have this or that flavor" listen they had these ones okay

[zoesupreme]

Christopher Nolan almost allows colors into his mythical epic shot on 70mm IMAX film. thank god they stopped filming in time.

[kheru-post-randoms]

Sir the METEOROLOGICAL SYMBOL OF HOPE just invited itself over the Castle where the Hero Finally Comes Home After Way Too Many Trials And Tribulations

And you just.

Said no????

It's free symbolism and you said no because it's a rainbow and it's not gritty enough?????!!!!?

[blizzardofjj]

[charlesoberonn]

Turns out you can roll a 7 on a d6

but only once.

[akilah12902]

Some Yu-Gi-Oh! bullshit right there

[pankendev]

when a cartoon character has a little nutsack or dick visible at all times it might raise some eyebrows but is ultimately seen as funny & acceptable. on the other hand you couldn't make Crazy Frog with a cunt. one of society's great inequalities

[raccoonmilf]

There’s a little Irish coochie gargoyle I think!! I can’t remember her name, but she’s silly and is sometimes found over church doorways

[cheetour]

Sheela na gig - Wikipedia

Sheela na Gig! She's a Christian symbol to help ward off the devil. According to old folklore, if the devil comes around, he will be warded away if a woman flashes her coochie at him, on account of the coochie being a holy and cleansing sort of thing. It's the gateway to life after all. Proof that some societies recognised the power of cunt

[english-history-trip]

King Alfred the Great’s lost remains 'found under car park', TV show researchers say

The long-lost remains of King Alfred the Great have been found buried under a car park, investigators claim.

Alfred died in 899, and his bones were repeatedly moved. He was buried in Winchester Cathedral until 1110, when his remains were moved to Winchester's Hyde Abbey, where they were interred before the high altar between the bodies of his wife and son. The abbey was demolished after the dissolution of the monasteries in 1539, and the place was left in ruins. In 1866, during construction of a workhouse on the site, the English antiquarian John Mellor excavated the area, found what he thought were Alfred's bones and had them reburied at nearby St. Bartholemew’s Church. But in 2013, when archaeologists exhumed and carbon-dated the bones from St. Bartholomew’s churchyard, they proved to date from over 200 years after Alfred’s death - sparking Graham's interest and search. He said: "Whoever’s bones they were, they weren’t Alfred’s. So, I decided to discover what happened to them. "The quest has taken me 13 years.”

[lostinhistory]

shut up they did not find another goddamn king under another goddamn car park