welcome to my twisted nips

@WIENERMAYCRY IS AN AMAZING PERSON AND A FANTASTIC ARTIST AND PERFECT HUMAN WHO ALSO DID THE RAPIDONG HEADER

[arctic-hands]

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

[evilsoup]

[gilliagandy]

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

[deconstructedcunt]

the dad kept buying it tho. #ally

[teaboot]

There is a reality not so far from our own in which Ratitouille (2007) was filmed as an avant-garde conceptual horror akin to Eraserhead (1977)

[tigerator]

[teaboot]

There is a reality not so far from our own in which that's how they spell it

[2aminhouston]

[achesspiece]

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

[kaiasky]

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

[biggestzam]

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

[kaiasky]

i want you on my team holy shit

[395nm]

"This shit is so ass." I love that saying. This egg is so chicken.

[unseelie]

​i wish this was in my cart and not someone else’s

[iam0to3yearsold]

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

[unseelie]

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

[parakeet]

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

[parakeet]

Fart wife?

[grenadineghost]

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

[alhyastarain]

you want to be mommy's weird potato, don't you, Brian? you want to skip and somersault like a good jester

[umarell]

[virtualgirladvance]

i want to feel sorry for the poor thing but the absolute silence from the crowd is breaking me

[virtualgirladvance]

should have moonwalked its body off stage 2/10

[allegorical-caved]

it's sicko mode sulcata saturday

[corpsebanger]

I took your skull off display because my guests kept saying it looked noticeably gayer than the other skulls

[vermilionstarlight]

age regressing to 2 years old but i was an especially erudite and articulate baby so you don't even notice

[my-dailydreams]

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[stratfender]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[emmaklee]

Nishimoto Ryota

a piece of wood carved to fit perfectly into a zippered plastic bag